Weddings : A Learning Curve in Cambodia

Chris & Pisey's Monk Blessing Ceremony

Over the last weekend, The Wedding Planners in Cambodia planned the first "trend-setting" wedding here in Cambodia. Whilst the traditional Khmer ceremonies and rituals carried on as per usual, the wedding reception style was changed to something more in-tune with what you and I are used to - in other words - westernized. We had the pre-dinner cocktails, place cards seating arrangements, bridal grand walk-in and minimalistic decor of a chosen colour theme. And these were all on top of the Church Ceremony which was held a day before the reception.

For those of you who may not be familiar with the settings of a Cambodian wedding, it is actually a colourful affair - from the traditional ceremonies to the wedding reception. Actually, we ought to be familiar with it as it is almost similar to a "kenduri-style" wedding back home. But instead of the bride and groom sitting quietly on the dais, the Cambodian couple stands at the entrance to greet all their guests - starting from perhaps 4pm till 7pm before they head in to carry out some of the wedding formalities like speeches, cake-feeding and the dancing. Usually, guests are invited to come by the dozens - neighbours, distant neighbours, friends, acquaintances and they come and go from the hours of 4pm - 9pm. You can have 50 tables at the reception, but you may well invite over 2,000 guests! That is because as soon as a table of 10 is filled, they serve dinner and once dinner is finished, the guests leave and the table is re-set for the next set of 10. Doesn't it remind you of our "kenduris" in the kampung?

The wedding over the weekend was held at The Raffles here in da Penh and aside from the westernized arrangements of the reception, the guest list was trimmed to a mere 150 - another unusual encounter for Cambodian weddings - this is actually to facilitate everyone showing up at the same time, eating at the same time and leaving at the same time - again, something which you and I are more familiar with but not for the locals :)

Well, the wedding planning process which took place over a period of 6 months was an absolute blast, actually. The clients, Chris & Pisey (Chris being American facilitated to changing the trend a lot easier) were a real joy to work with and left their trust in me and my team to ensure that a great wedding was brought to live. With clients like these, I am reminded of how much I lurve my job as a wedding planner *smile*.

However, working in Cambodia proves to be a tad more challenging than normal. Especially for weddings. For those who don't know, my main bread and butter here in da Penh isn't the wedding planning business but my advertising and events business. For weddings, whilst I am established in Malaysia, I am merely making tiny first steps here in Cambodia. After a year-long "educational" process, finally, some of the 5-star hotels are starting to look at making weddings a unique and personalized showcase here in Cambodia too and thus 2 wedding fairs in the first half of the year (had the wedding biz been my bread and butter, I would've starved :P). As mentioned, another sure-thing about Cambodian weddings is that one wedding is the same as the next, and the next, and the next - you get my drift. Same colours, same flowers, same arches, etc. ! I have both locals and expat tell me that after awhile, you do not remember whose wedding was whose even from looking at the photos! Very true indeed.

Anyway, as I was saying, given the growing middle-class over the last couple of years, we are starting to see the locals becoming more open-minded and a little - just a little more receptive towards new wedding styles and ideas. But it is this in-between period that is also challenging because it meant that wedding planners the likes of me - have to really convince the client into trying out something different and most importantly - convincing them of personalizing their weddings. We have to convince them that natural-looking make-up is the way to go so that they look absolutely stunning on their wedding day. We have to convince them that hiring a photography team outside of Malaysia would offer them different styling to their wedding album. We have to convince them that doing a grand walk-in / wedding march-in would be a memorable experience. We have to convince them that the price is worth every penny that they are paying. (eg. local photographers can go for USD600 for the full day from 3am to 11pm!) The list goes on.

If they bought into the whole trend-setting idea of changing their wedding style, it wasn't the end of story for us. We have to now convince the local wedding vendors - from the venue to the florist to even the photographer or videographer if they were hired locally, that the 'concept' of the wedding has changed and these are the adjustments we need to do - whether in terms of make-up, photos or decorations. Even hotels the likes of Raffles would need to be taught to give a ballroom lay-out plan which takes into account the bridal walk-in on the red carpet! Sound system is a whole other issue in Cambodia. The quality of sound system is often gauged by how LOUD the music can be blasted even in a small ballroom. But say what you like, the vendor refused to tone down the decibels. So you just visualize this very elegant setting vs ear drums-breaking sound. You could not hear yourself think even! After convincing these vendors, there is that "Cambodia Challenge" that we have to go through - which is professionally-delivered service and product. Unfortunately, as mentioned in a previous post, most often in Cambodia, what you ask for, you may not get. Over the years of working here, I've realized this "It's ok" attitude amongst the local Cambodians. For example, my stage backdrop was chipped and had holes - likely damaged when they were transporting the thing - and of course, I wasn't happy about it, being anal and all. But the local guy would tell me "It's ok. It looks fine still. Nobody can see." You just want to smack him one, but you can't. Or when the vendor shows up with an arrangement that is different from what was agreed prior, it's also the "It's ok. It still looks fine." argument. The thing is, the Cambodian clients understand this working culture. And hopefully, the non-Cambodian client also understands the so called "culture" here. But I don't - and it sometimes baffles me as to why do the vendors think they can get away with something like that? Even the venue could spring a surprise on you on the event day itself by telling you they do not have red carpet in the entire hotel. OMG. (So people need to understand that last-minute changes, etc... does not really work-out well in Cambodia)....

After convincing the clients, followed by the vendors, I realized we also had to brace ourselves in convincing the locals who attend the wedding. It can be an endless process of the following : "What is pre-dinner cocktail?" / "Why do I have to sign the Wish Tree cards and hang it?" / "I want to take back the Wish Tree cards." / "Why can't I eat now?" / "What time do we leave?" /  "I brought 4 more people and I want to sit together" / "What are place cards?" and whilst all these were going on, they were stepping all over my lovely, lovely aisle petals. :\ Big lesson learnt - never-ever do place card arrangements again in Cambodia, no matter how small the wedding guest list might be :P At least, not for the next couple of years!

Overall, I had a great time with this particular wedding, having done a few in Cambodia already. I was also pleased that I managed to convince the client to hire a team of photographers from Malaysia to capture their memorable moments - 1am Studio - who did a GREAT JOB and helped rush a fast-edit for a surprise slideshow for the clients too. I'm happy some of my Malaysian comrades have witnessed first-hand what it's like at a Cambodian wedding (the most tiring wedding shoot they had done, apparently!) I am pleased with how the entire wedding turned out and definitely brimming with pride when the couple and both their families came up to me to give words of gratitude and encouragements. Even the GM at the Raffles was impressed and now wish to work closer with us at TWP. Of course, I only stood around and looked pretty :P My team was the real doers and they deserve a pat on the back. Make it two.

During a PR interview recently, when the reporter asked if bringing in international vendors meant that we are better than the local vendors, my answer was as follows : "No, it does not mean that we are better than the local vendors. We are just offering a different style and we should learn from one another to grow the business and grow the industry. This is what we call exchange of knowledge, skills and culture between one another. I could teach you about delivering professional service and you could teach me about your local culture and customs or the photographer could teach you about different techniques and you could teach them about your local styles and concepts. In this world, there is no such thing as you are better or I am better. We need to share in order to grow."

As I sit and reflect on some of the 'unseen' chaos during the wedding which took place, I realized that doing weddings in Cambodia is going to be a bitch of a climb up the learning curve - both for myself, for potential clients, for vendors and for local guests. But everyone has to start somewhere and I welcome the challenge. I had almost forgotten - we all started out the same back home - from somewhere too, taking that first step. I just need to work on my zen habits and try to stay calm and patient :P

Some of the vendors who came over for the launch of TWP back in 2009 have questioned why they haven't been asked to do anything more for Cambodia and why some other vendors are given the jobs instead. If you had read all the above, you would find your explanation. Given the "educational" process that we still have to go through with every job (not just weddings, mind you), convincing and convincing clients to engage more professional service providers and products at a 300% higher fee...  it IS an uphill climb indeed. You may have invested your time and money once to take a look at Cambodia. I have invested not just money, but my time here in Cambodia - and I am STILL learning. I am in this for the long haul in order for me to reap the rewards of my efforts and passion. Are you willing to be in it for the long-haul here?

Because, I definitely would welcome all local & international industry friends to help me fight a good fight here and grow the industry in Cambodia :) For those who have believed and supported me - whether physically or morally from near and far - I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

For more great photos - you will have to wait for the awesome ones from 1am Studio! :)

Church Ceremony decor

Simple & Elegant look for the Wedding Reception decor

Me and my boys