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| Unarmed civilians using a frying pan to protect himself from live ammunition Photo Credit : I took this from the internet (anyone with info of original photographer please let me know) |
I need to go back to Day Zero. The day I scoffed at my Mama when she told me to stock-up as there was some "rumours" of a coup. I told her after almost 10 years of moving the country forwards in a quasi-democracy, the coup will not take place. This was going to be my first miscalculation of the shit that happened.
Because it did happen. On the 1st Feb. Nevermind that it was the day I started a new activism consultation role remotely and had no internet or phone line access to let my new employers know of my unavailability. The shit had hit the fan. When phone lines and mobile data was restored, it was a frantic chase to communicate - with family, with my new activist job team mates, with friends, with students.
The first 20+ days, I had a different viewpoint of this whole mess. Not that I was for the coup. I wasn't and I'm totally against it. But the first 20+ days, it was peaceful with protestors in the streets celebrating like it was some fiesta. There were even cosplaying protestors and pyjama party protestors. MOH and I even went ourselves to have a closer look at all the on-goings. Some foreign and local friends asked me why I had a different perspective of this whole situation. Well, in Malaysia, I personally consider us to have fake democracy. And by the by, didn't we also just had a coup in Malaysia in March 2020? Malaysians like us, we have been so fed-up with everything that we no longer give a damn whatever backdoor they wanna do. And then haven't we also gone through the Bersih crackdowns? We also have our Sedition Act and fair share of cases such as Teoh Beng Hock, Kevin Morais, Altantuya, Darren Kang, the infamous 1MDB scandal just to name a few. What could we do about all of these? To date, no justice had been served. As far as I know - ex-PM The Frog Face is still living his life scott-free. So, hence, I thought if it was to be BAU for everything and just losing freedom of speech, then let's get on with it. After all, we just wanna "cari makan". For me, which country really has true democracy in Southeast Asia? Furthermore, whilst I love the Myanmar people and have called this my home for the past 9 years, it wasn't in my place to say anything because I didn't even have voting rights. But we both supported them from our hearts. Then of course, the Coopers rolled out this draconian cyber security law which set the country back by years and I was like "God damn, the work that so many people did for the people of this country to bring them forward is now wiped off just like that!"
I had read up on all the 1988 and 2007 uprising in MM prior to coming and living here and I still idealistically and naively thought that in such modern times, the Amoeba Coopers might have a bit more sense not to disrupt things in the same manner. This was my second miscalculation to the whole fiasco. After the first stretch of peaceful protest days, the killings began. And I watched in horror as the stuff I had only read about in books unfolded before my very eyes. This then crossed every single line in my books for me. I could no longer view this with a political lens. I do not stand for blatant mass atrocities. I watched in horror at clips of ambulances being shot at, of volunteer medics being beaten half to death, of young teenagers being shot in the head. In the head!! For fuck's sake, they are unarmed! Do you know what they have to protect themselves?? Non-bulletproof shields and like that photo I used above - frying pan for crying out loud. Is there a need to sniper shoot them in the head??? This was wrong for me on so many levels. And the worse part is, as a teacher, coach, mentor in this country to hundreds of youths - I feared for them.
Ever since then, it had been a daily routine to check-in on everyone. Alive? Safe? Where are you? I can't even tell them not to go out because,....... they have to go do what they gotta do. I am in no position to tell them not to do it. I can only tell them to please stay safe and update me as soon as possible. Of cos, MOH and I both are doing what we can BTS. I will not divulge too much here on what's being done but we're not people who could sit down and not do anything. But of course, we are keeping safe. We have the privilege of keeping ourselves safe. But many of the MM people do not have this privilege.
Fast forward to Day 56 of the coup, there had been over 400 deaths and just yesterday alone, the highest death toll was recorded at 114, including a 5yr old child. What did the 5yr old child do to the barbarians I have no idea. Coincidentally, yesterday was Army's Day. It is now Army's Day Of Shame. Everyday, is an emotional ride. To be honest, I've been trying to keep sane by focusing on work and my training but it is hard too. I go from feeling guilty because I am so privileged to being angry at the blatant, brazen cockiness of the Amoeba Coopers to feeling ashamed that I couldn't do more. When we go out to get our groceries and stuff - it kills me just to hear the service staff saying "Thank you, and have a good day Ama!" I don't even know where I can hide my face when they say that. Some students, neighbours and the likes have asked "Are you planning to leave?" and when we answer as "No, we will stay till we cannot stay anymore", their response is always, "Thank You for staying with us." My heart breaks to hear that. And even if one chooses to leave, they would not judge you nor bear a grudge on you either. They understand this is their fight. Not yours. Despite all of the odd enigma of the Myanmar mindset and culture, and certain things that drove me up the walls with them over the years, they are good people. They are kind people. They are honest people. They certainly do not deserve to have their lives threatened this way. Nightly raids and kidnappings, nightly shooting into their homes, some arrested and returned the next day in body bags, the list goes on.
The day before that, the Amoeba Coopers were on national TV threatening their own citizens that they will shoot in the heads and backs if they are out protesting. I'm outraged and appalled by that. What kind of world do we live in that a person is able to threaten human lives in that manner openly in public? Why is this being allowed? I beg to question : if the international bodies continue allowing this small-fry here to continue their atrocities, what message is it sending to the bigger "powers"? I think there is something extremely wrong with their outdated policies and stuff and these needs a serious re-look into with utmost urgency. Meanwhile - I also wish they stop issuing rubbish PR statements. Cos those statements had not stopped a 1yr old and a 5yr old toddler and over 400 people from being murdered. This is no longer political to me anymore. I value human lives. I repeat again - it is just simply NOT OK to shoot to kill anyone that is unarmed and who are not even in attack mode. Believe me, some were just riding their motorbikes, just getting about their business to make ends meet.
This morning, some of the gym staff spoke to me and one had tears in her eyes as she spoke about the atrocities. You can literally feel their pain of seeing their own fellowmen murdered with no sound reason. I don't even know what to say. Can't even fucking say "Stay strong," cos seriously - stay strong till when?? When every single person who is against the Coopers are killed??
Some may recall, at the beginning of January 2020, MOH and I were making some plans, even got hold of travel agency to try to make a trip to Syria or Palestine. I wanted to see what I could do to help over there. But then Covid-19 happened. Though, be careful what you wish for, they say. Now this is all happening right under my very eyes and my heart is totally unprepared for it. I've had a few meltdowns privately because sometimes, we just need to let it out. For my students, I too need to stay strong for them.
To the Myanmar people - MOH and I have decided that we will stay on in solidarity till we cannot stay anymore. If the time comes and we have to leave, I want you to know that you are not alone. When you win this war, we hope you will let us return and let us have the privilege of holding your hands and help you rebuild the nation once again. To the Gen Z youths, this country's future is in your hands and make sure when you get it back, put in place a leader who is young and relevant. There is no space for old, stubborn and irrelevant leaders to drive the nation backwards. For now, I pray. I pray for all of you.
