Here We Go Again..... Covid-19 Myanmar

Family Zoom Time - Our Norm Now 

So.... just as we re-adapted back to life supposedly post-Covid and believed that Myanmar was truly blessed to have scraped through almost unscathed then BOOM - it hits you square centre. As we speak right now, still hitting away with the latest figures as of 15.09.2020 8am at 3,299 with 32 deaths. That's a huge jump in just a short 3 weeks from 300+ cases to now 3000+. 

Work-wise, we had even gone back to full time office days and working on business recovery plans. We've gone back to swimming (and getting my tan on finally!!) We've gone back to dining in restaurants and meeting with friends occasionally. And then BOOM! Out of nowhere, we've had to re-adapt again. 

If ever anything were to go down in history for me - 2020 would be the year where I've had to change, adapt, re-adapt and repeat many, many times. To those who know me well, would know that I'm a stickler for routines. I have planned menus worked out for everyday of the week. I have planned attires worked out for everyday of the week. I have very fixed timing and schedules for everything that I do. So, yeah, the one thing I learnt is my ability to adapt amidst the uncertainties. And damn, do I hate uncertainties. 

I was at least pretty smart about it the last time. I did not fully moved back to gym training, choosing to still continue half the week with workouts from home and another half the week at the gym where I can get my pool time. So, having to move back to full home training hasn't been as bad. We've both still got our home offices in order (I have my normal work table as I am used to WFH, Covid or no Covid but MOH gets the ironing board as his office table because well, the "Ironman" surely deserves a kick-ass ironing board to work on! 😂😂😂) 

So, I would say, this time around, it hasn't been that bad re-adjusting. I really just do the adapting as fast as possible to minimize the disruption. Cos in the times of such uncertainties, the more I feel the need to have somethings within my control - like my routine and schedules. Yes, I am strange this way. 

Disruption aside, this time around, the coronavirus seems to be hitting Myanmar a little hard with almost a daily 3-digit case numbers reported. And also this time, we've had cases at work, so it's been a field day for communications! It is all pretty unnerving, yet we know the show must go on. One of the most unnerving for me was prepping the 'in case of death' communications. Because this time around, it is really coming for us 😖😖😖 (The last round, we've actually pretty much breezed through with no reported cases within both our organizations!)

We are both bracing ourselves for more of the mayhem unfolding around us in Myanmar. With the sudden BOOM hitting us from all sides, the authorities seem to have very little control over the situation as well. It seemed to be that different townships having different regulations and SOPs surrounding the so-called "lockdown" and quarantine processes and this even sparked a social media meme of township flags as a mockery of each township being its own country with its own laws. So, we are from the Union of Bahan. There's United States of Ahlone, Yakinia, and so on, so forth. Well, at least there's humour in the mayhem. Some townships have decided to lock people in and out of streets, curbing movements and even delivery. I saw a video where even an ambulance could not gain entry into the "lockdowned" street. What is that all about?? Been also reading and hearing tales of those who've been herded to quarantine centers and no proper admittance procedures and the long waiting hours only to be told that there's no space and they've gotta re-wait all over again at another possible centre. Patients are boarding these ambulances whose driver has no idea where to take them to exactly. Speaking of ambulances, they do make a grand show and tell of it - when they line up like 5 - 8 ambulances in a row when they go to collect a positive or suspected patient - with sirens blaring. The sound of the sirens are in itself unnerving! I'm not sure if any other country does that. Do they?

With the elections coming up, the campaigning has started and this is driving supporters out in droves by the thousands, donning colours of their parties. But it begs me to question - how is that safe in "flattening the curve" ?? (The first time round, there was no curve to be flattened except that of my carb-loaded tummy). Some are not even wearing masks! I urge the political leaders to seriously reconsider this. But then again, who am I to do so. Don't got a voice in Malaysia. Definitely don't got a voice here in Myanmar 😝😝😝 And also - I thought the regulation was no gathering of more than 5 people??? This is exactly what I mean by the advisories are all very vague and contradicting here. Enigmatic surely. But then again - look at Trump 🤦🤦🤦

It is what it is here and the best we could do is stay safe, stay home, and check-in on our friends, families as much as possible. I'm on the edge sometimes. We know the hospitals and the frontline healthcare heroes here are all overwhelmed working in a largely under-supported environment. As the death toll rises, these heroes have been scrambling to help patients. Sometimes, I don't even want to know about these news cos it really sets me on the edge. A student of mine felt dizzy and I was like "OMG, that's a Covid-19 symptom!!" and I nagged her to take action on it. And when I cough, I be like "WTF - do I have Covid-19???? Can I still smell MOH's farts?? Ok can. I'm ok! I'm ok!" Alright, so I'm not on the edge just sometimes. All the time. LOL! And I darn it dislike going to do my grocery shopping and some idiot decides not to social distance. When social distancing was introduced first time around, seemed I was a little "over-sensitive" for demanding my space when Myanmar was like "blessed to be Covid-free". But this time around - I would glare at the person like they're some kind of unwanted fungus and if they don't get my glare, I will raise my voice. So those who see me at the grocery aisles - JUST AVOID ME. People spitting on the roads have gotten their fair share of shouting from me too. The next move I would make is that I will whip out my phone and video people who spit (or at least pretend to be video-ing them) Anddddddd this is why I take up MMA training. Just in case they retaliate 😁😁😁  

The only that that really suck is another long-drawn out wait to go home to see my family. Before, it was like - Yay! We're on the road to recovery. Give it 6 more months and we can go home! Ad now, BOOM. F**k. Was having this discussion with a friend the other day - the longer the uncertainty and the longer this draws out, the greater the pull to just drop everything and go home. A Malaysian colleague of mine recently lost his father and I cannot imagine the turmoil! Not being able to fly home on the first flight out to be with family during the times of loss! It gave me anxiety attacks for several nights after I heard the news. My Mama and Papa are like "Nothing doing! No coming back for 2 years! We're absolutely fine and taking really good care of ourselves! Why worry???!" My Papa - he even pranks me and annoys me over WhatsApp all the time, tryna give me heart attacks. What do I do with these 2 old folks? #SMH

I believe human beings are very resilient creatures. And one day, we will definitely celebrate over champagne physically and speak about this historical moment where we were all apart together. I would like to try to keep a positive frame of mind and find the humour in all of these - just as my parents have. I would like to count my blessings that my lockdown includes a bed, a roof, proper working tables and a well-stocked pantry (of a very rigidly planned daily menu LOLOL!!). There are those who are worse off than us and as I have always said before - if we can - help one another out, support each other and be kind to one another. My Mobile Soup Movement is still on-going and every month, plenty of volunteers are taking up these care packages and helping to deploy these to the vulnerable communities. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the distribution. 

And lastly - whilst I've introduced alcohol every Friday nights, I'm still gonna live my life fit and eat healthy. If I'm gonna go out when the world ends, I wanna make sure I go out looking good 😂😂😂 

 

Our 11th Year... Amidst A Global Pandemic

2008 vs 2020

 And the year just flew by as usual. I was actually trying to recall if I actually wrote a blog every year for our wedding anniversary and I even managed to convince myself that I didn’t. I wrote one for my work anniversary. Then I checked my cobweb-filled blog (to be honest, 2020 hasn’t been such a cobwebby year for my blog!) and found that I actually DO write an anniversary post every year! So here it is then. 

The time did fly by for us as a couple too and from our 10^th year to the 11^th year… what changed? Nothing much really. We’ve both got new roles / jobs for work. And oh, have I not already mentioned we’re in the middle of a historical pandemic? We’ve been cut-off from seeing our families but the consolation and blessing here is that we have each other to rely on. 

As the world is going crazy around us, so too has the workload and we have come to an even deeper understanding that our time off from the world is pretty sacred. The weekends are like our “cave time”. We try our utmost best to understand each other and live with each other. I guess the one thing that is most important for us is we want peace and peace of mind. Our “cave” is to be filled only with laughter. Oh, yes, and love. Lots of love. On days where it is annoyingly boring, we annoy each other. We've just grown to annoy each other as much as possible. Me more than him 😈 😈 😈 

There is this uniquely synchronized understanding that we have, I believe. We seldom talk to “iron” things out cos there doesn’t seem to be anything to iron out (except his own clothes LMAO!!) It’s like a very seamless and effortless understanding, an almost automatic characteristic to our relationship. Are we THAT boring? LOL. 

I have been grieving for the longest time and still is, for my beloved Ah Por. My husband, a man of few words, (because he doesn’t know the right words to say and would prefer not to say it for fear of repercussions LOL), just understands me, and my “strange behaviours” and he gives me my space and takes care of me in his own ways. It may not be about tenderness or sweetness, but it’s just his way of taking care of me. I wrote about this just last week - there was one time, he accidentally triggered open the floodgates while we were right in the middle of grocery shopping. He said my poor Stinky is torn and if it doesn’t get fixed, would need to be thrown out soon. I think that’s when he realized Stinky was an absolutely sensitive subject and not to be made fun of because Ah Por made Stinky for me! The very next day, he sewed Stinky up for me and even wrapped him with additional layers to keep him protected. That’s what I meant by it’s not about the sweet-nothings. It’s doing things that matters. 

I’ve been packing a TLC lunch pack for him to take to work every day too ever since the pandemic started. I get up earlier than usual to get this prepped up and ready to go. I wonder if I will finally get my “Wife Of The Year” Award soon. 😏 😏 😏 Well, the honest truth is, I don’t mind doing it. I don’t exactly enjoy it (you know me, #HousewifeFail ) but I don’t mind it. And he doesn’t say it – but I know he appreciates it. Anyway, if he complains, I’d stuff it all up his ass 🤣 🤣 🤣 In general, I guess, we always choose a path where we aren’t fighting with each other. At times like these, why fight with each other? We should be uniting so that we can combat it all. I guess that it also why we have an automatic understanding - it makes no sense to fight each other. It makes more sense to stand united to fight the battles that we each go through daily, be it at work or personally. 

A friend of mine recently sent us a photo of us doing the Shape Run back in 2008. This was before we even got married. I guess fit then, fit now 😊😊😊I’m putting the pix with us side-by side to look at our difference after 12 years. I’d like to think we look as young as we were before. But our mentalities and especially our bodies sometimes sure as hell don’t feel it. The term “grow old with you” comes to my mind. In terms of mentality, I guess, there is a certain maturity to where we are right now as well. Like I said - we don't sweat the small stuff. We don't nag, we don't complain endlessly. 

I really do think we are a pretty boring couple. Honestly. We do our fit training, we work, we clean the house, we spend quiet time in our cave and that’s about it. On weekends, we do the usual grocery shopping and food stops and then we climb back into our cave. At home, we have our sanctuary time, we don’t even need to talk to each other. We have a once-a-week unload session on Friday date nights where we just bitch about stuff. Other than that, we just do our thing. I cook, he washes. I sweep, he mops. I spank his tushie, he tries to remove my pants. LOLOL! No need to talk. LOL!! The DBW told me in my recent lunch with her : “You and Richard are really a perfect match!” I guess, in a way, I’m glad we are. Can you imagine I want to stay home and he wants to party all the time? It’ll be a nightmare! LOLOL!!! 

These are up on my FB and IG already but I’d like to post these on my blog too, to commemorate our 11^th year together. A long time agency friend of mine kindly drew these out for me as a gift. Well, I owe Lam Chop a longyi. I have been an avid follower of his comics and very thankful that he had agreed to help do this. (His other comics can be found here!!) 



 
 
   
   
  

So, I asked for these comics done for this year's anniversary cos they hilariously sum up, well, at least on my part, how I see our relationship, from my eyes and my point-of-view. Maybe MOH could share his POV soon? Since we do have a 3^rd September (Civil Registration), 5^th September (Kampung Wedding) and 12^th September (KL Wedding) more to celebrate 😊😊😊 Every year, we have the same conversation - where are all my presents? Should be 5 in total, including my birthday and he would say it's all-in-one-present. And that present is him. Then he gets a slap and I would threaten to lock him out of the house. Every year. Told you we are super boring people. LOL! 

To my best friend, my soulmate, my training partner, my partner-in-farts...... cheers to 11 years of marriage (and 12 years legal!!!) and I'm just blessed and thankful that we have #MeAndYouJustUsTwo
😍😍😍

Another Letter To Heaven

 

Dearest Ah Por, 

It’s been a year since you left us. And here I am, finally plucking up the courage to have my first conversation with you. It’s been tough for me to overcome my grief. I get triggered and it opens up the floodgates and it’s not something I like doing. I thought as the time passed by, it’ll get better. It doesn’t actually. I just keep finding ways to cope with it. I know me so well. Anyway, I’ve put this off long enough so here I am.

You know, I really had to psyche myself up to put all I want to tell you in words. And now I am already choking back my tears. I know what you will say. You will say “Lei sor ka? No need to cry! Sei ting nga yee!” LOL. Over the last one year, I keep having flashbacks of the final week I spent with you at the hospital. The pain you went through and the helplessness I felt. What I do is more often than not, I push those images away and shift my mind to something else. But occasionally, I succumb because I am only human. I wish you were actually here to comfort me and tell me that week is long gone and everything is better now. The one thing that I cannot withstand is really that night when you asked me for a cup of your favourite tea and because you were on tube-feeding, you can’t have tea and you told me “I can’t even have a cup of tea?” That killed me you know. But I also remembered that there was a morning where you were a bit more alert and you told me that I looked so pretty. I am always pretty, isn’t it? 😊

Ah Por, the world has gone crazy after you left. There’s this virus going around. I had been cracking my head thinking – wow, if you were still around, how do I explain this strange situation to you. We are at a time now where touching and hugging causes harm. You remember how you used to shoo me away from you if you were feeling a little ill cos you were afraid you might pass your germs to me? Well, this is kinda like that. We have to be 6ft (I don’t even know what is 6ft in Chinese!!) apart from each other and stuff. Yes, the world is ‘chee seen’ now. In a way, I am so glad you and Ah Kung, Por Por and Kung Kung are all not here to experience this craziness. I even initially thought the world was coming to an end! LOLOL! The airports here in Myanmar and in Malaysia are closed so I haven’t been able to fly home to see Mama and Papa. I feel so trapped actually. The worse thing right now is to be away from family. But what can we do? Right now, the strange situation is such that if I went home, I run the risk of spreading this virus to Mama and Papa. Yes, yes, I pray every night for them to be safe and sound. That’s my only prayer these days.

Because of this situation, and with nowhere to go also, the workload has piled up so I focus a lot on my work. Of course there are unpleasant people who say unpleasant things. I know too what you will say : “Why you care what other people say? You just do your job. And you know something Ah Por? Recently, one of these bad people had a really bad outcome happen to them. And I realized what you said before was so on point. That we don’t need to bother what others say or do. They will all one day come to be exposed. At first, I thought when I heard the news about that bad person, I would be happy. I wasn’t. In fact, I didn’t feel anything. But the first thing that came to my mind was your precious words. And literally I felt – we must always be a good person otherwise, we will get our karma somehow. And you also always told me : Don’t steal. Don’t cheat. Don’t be lazy.” Never all of my life, Ah Por. I am lazy only when it comes to household chores. LOLOL!!! But you know something???? Even this laziness has gone!!! Hah! Can you believe it? Can you see me from heaven everyday cleaning and cleaning and cleaning the house? I swear to God my house is as sanitized as the ICU at the hospital !!! I’ve never been so obsessed about cleaning before! ANDDDDDDD you know what else???? I even pack home-cooked breakfast and lunch for my husband to take to work ok!!! Hah! You cannot say I am lazy as a wife again. Good thing is my husband is not so fussy with food. He eats whatever I pack for him. Because I told him if he doesn’t eat, I will stuff it all up his ass and he can cook his own meals! Hahahahahahahahahha!! Oh well, Ah Por, I am still the same ‘samseng’ you love. 😊 Well, he does help me to clean the house. But just that he doesn’t clean it the way I want it to be cleaned. Last time Mama and Papa used to scold me and pull my ears to say I sweep and mop as if I am writing Chinese calligraphy on the floor. Well, wait till they see my husband sweep and mop !! But nevermind, as long as he is helping, I will shut up.

I know even back then you were always worried about our relationship cos I was always coming home to see you. Don’t worry Ah Por. We’re really good. And in a week’s time, we will be celebrating our 11^th year as a married couple! It’s a long time to be married! Last year, we didn’t celebrate anything. Not even my birthday at the end of August. This year I kinda feel the same. Cos your passing fell right very close to these 2 dates. August used to be my fave month. I can kinda hear you. You told me before, (again, not before you scolded me with “sei choon”) …. That I shouldn’t worry or bother too much about the old and celebrate life and do what young people do. Well, let’s see about the celebrating this year, Ah Por. For me, I just really wanna go home. ☹

Nope, still no kids. I know last time, you always wished I had kids because they will keep me busy. That by starting my own family, I would be more focused that way. Well…….. I dunno whatever you or whoever say, I am so thankful I made the decision not to have kids! Yes, now I will finally tell you the truth – it was a choice to not have kids. Although I think you already knew that cos you are too smart. Remember all those times you kept asking me to go see a doctor on why I couldn’t have kids and I used to say that it was my husband’s problem that we couldn’t have kids? Yup, just threw him under the bus all those times! Hahahahahha! Thinking back, those times were quite funny. LOLOL! Anyway, I wouldn’t have made a good Mom. My husband said I would be such a ‘samseng’ Mom. I would be shouting at the restaurant to my kid “You better eat or else I will stuff it all up your ass!!” Hahahahahahahahahhahaha! So, he’s quite thankful that we made this decision not to have kids. Hahahahaahhaahhahaa!!

Ernie’s two kids are growing up very well. You would know that they are both super smart and adorable. Right now, they have no school – as I mentioned, it is because of the strange virus situation. In fact, over in Australia, they are being lockdowned again. I don’t know how to explain this to you. If you were right here, I would tell you – they are in home jail. They can’t go anywhere except to buy food. Yeah, that is the situation of the world now in most countries. Except Myanmar though. For some reason, the virus is not so crazy here so mostly, everything is as per normal in Myanmar. In Malaysia too it just recently got normal with some rules and guidelines. Before that, Mama and Papa were also in home-jail. We keep in touch, all of us on video call every week. So the two old folks get to see their grandkids on video calls every week. It is hard to get the two boys to sit down and focus on chatting. LOL. You remember video calls? I used to have this sessions with you too, except that your hearing was quite bad. Anyway, everyone is very well. For me too, though I miss Mama and Papa so so so much, I am also happy to see that they are doing well being home-jailed and keeping themselves entertained with cooking and home improvement stuff.

You know we all even learnt to cut hair during this period! Hah! Can you imagine?? So Mama cuts Papa’s hair. Well, she cuts her own hair too. Since shops are closed and not advised to have close-contact due to the virus again. I cut my husband’s hair and my husband cut my hair! Except that my husband is like the worse person to cut hair for. He would be holding the mirror and checking every single second and he would aji-ajor a lot ! Until I also want to just take the scissors and cut everything off simply-simply! LOLOL! We are all also cooking a lot at home. Ernie is a really great chef actually and he makes fantastic dishes for his wife and kids. Mama had been giving us some of her popular recipes to try as well. But you know, I am still a little lazy when it comes to elaborate cooking. They said if they got home-jailed together with me, they might die of starvation because I will only cook the same food every day! LOLOLOLOL!!! No actually, I have different food every day. Just that every week – it is the same menu. Monday = chicken. Tuesday = salad (recently I have been addicted to snow fungus and I make this into salad). Wednesday = Soup. Thursday = Tofu & Vege. Friday = no cooking. Saturday = Chicken. Sunday = Chicken. Hahahahahahaha!! Because this is very easy to manage and don’t have to think so much. I am so smart. And yes, yes….. I serve everything in the same pot that I cook with cos less dishes to wash after that. I am also very smart like that. LOLOLOL!!! I can hear you saying “That is not called smart. That is called lazyyyy!” LOL!! I still remember the time you taught me how to cook your famous vegetarian dish. I think I can still remember how to cook it. I just can’t find “nam yu” in Myanmar. I even remember that day when I had the “cooking lesson” with you. You scolded me a lot. And I was also busy trying to take photos of the process. So you said “Haiya!!! You are actually cooking or taking photos???” LOLOLOL !!! Recently, I have been quite obsessed watching this YouTuber girl who creates contents of her life in rural China with her grandmother. She can cook, do farming, do carpentry work and all that while she takes care of her grandmother. The village is also very pretty. Well, I wished I had that life too. But I think – if I lived with you like that, and if you were still able, you would be the one taking care of me instead. I can’t even carry the water from the well. LOLOLOL!! Don’t talk about me farming. All vegetables will die. LOLOLOLOL ! You also know right?

Ah Por, I have continued to live my life well. Eat well, work hard, be a good person. Never stopped at all. I think this three gem of an advise you gave is so simple but so meaningful. Eat well because health is important. Work hard because nothing good ever comes to those who are lazy. And be a good person because a good person is a lot richer in many ways and not necessarily with money. Though I think you won’t like to hear it – I have lost some weight. I am not sure why. Maybe because of the world going crazy so sometimes I am also a little anxious and worried. Although I do eat well. I never skip my meals or eat less. I just eat healthy. Hahahaha. You know something? Because I thought the world was coming to an end, I actually started drinking alcohol. But only on Friday nights. Hahahahah. That’s why I don’t cook on Fridays. LOLOL!!

I miss you, Ah Por. You know how sometimes friends try to comfort you and they tell you, “Oh Ah Por is in heaven having a blast with your Por Por, Kung Kung and Ah Kung and all their old friends!” Part of me wants to believe that because it is easier. The other part of me is like …. Yeah right. But the one thing I know for sure is that I have four pairs of eyes looking over me from heaven. So I feel good. I feel protected and I know that as long as I continue to be a good person, you guys will continue to protect me from all the way in heaven.

Oh yes! One more thing before I end……. Stinky is good too. I have not been able to detach myself from Stinky for even a day now. Even though I may not use it, I carry it with me even when I travelled (back at the time when we could actually travel!) Anyway, there was one day where that idiot husband of mine, decided to complain about Stinky to me right in the middle of our grocery shopping. He told me “Stinky is torn and broken already!! If it’s not fixed need to throw away!!” And just like that – my floodgates opened. I wanted to punch him so hard at that time cos he made me cry in public!! Thinking back, I think I frightened him a bit with my crying reaction! Hahahahahaha! Cos the very next day, he sewed some new ‘clothes’ for Stinky and wrapped Stinky up with it. Yes, I guess, I have a very understanding husband. So you don’t have to worry about us, Ah Por.

Ok, now I gotta go. We will talk more, ok? Grief is a strange thing. And I am not even sure we actually get over grief. But don’t worry. I will live well, eat well, work hard and be a good person. Always.

Love,
Your Ting Nga Yee

8th Year..... Perhaps overstaying my welcome here in the Golden Land

8th Year living in Myanmar....
and still counting?

On this day, 8 years ago, I arrived at the Yangon International Airport with 2 suitcases, ready to join MOH (My Other Half) who arrived a month earlier. I remember it was raining that day when I arrived. The airport was pretty quiet and there were very few cars on the road. That was the year I fell in love with Myanmar, who in turn, welcomed me with opened arms right from the get-go.

In a flash of a flash, I've been living here 8 years and have seen so much changes in the Golden Land. I remembered last year (7th year blogpost), I was stewing in my sweat due to the power cuts while writing that blog post. This year, I am once again stewing in my sweat, in 40 degrees heat writing my 8th year blog post, with a power cut 😓😓😓 I guess, some things just never change. (Side note : Dear EPC - don't you think the electricity issues are getting a bit old? It's been 8 years. Can we move forward please?)

Over the last one year, my frustrations with Myanmar has grown and I'm left once again questioning if I am over-staying my welcome. Despite the dynamic growth and the leap-frogging of everything, as I mentioned, some things never change. Nevermind the fake "arr nar" culture which I wrote about last year, but over the recent times, particularly in the face of a pandemic, I have seen more and more selfish behaviour emerge from this place I call home for now. Wait, let me just reiterate this "arr nar" culture. I have to, cos this still persists up till today. Again, there isn't an English word for "arr nar". In the Chinese language, we say "mm hou yee si". We are arr nar when we need a favour or help from someone. We are arr nar when someone pays for your lunch. But you know, in Myanmar - this arr nar is used for convenience purposes. Let me give you an example. I've told the so-called admin guy of our building to catch me only in the mornings to pass me the monthly utilities and maintenance bill. Sometimes, I ask for things to be fixed in the house but he doesn't update me and when I ask why, his answer would be "Because it's late. Arr nar lote." BUT when it comes to passing me the monthly bill, he seems to enjoy knocking on the door at nights (when I'm showered and naked indoors!)  even though I had specifically told him to pass it to me only in the mornings. So same situation, one has arr nar, and one doesn't. It baffles me. Doesn't it baffle you?  Don't get me wrong though. My building's landlord, family and team are super-duper helpful to all the tenants and making our stay as comfortable as possible.

Please let me continue my rant. After all, I try to do this only once a year to let off some steam 😝😝😝 But if I do offend anyone, my apologies and I don't mean to offend. This is just my observations and personal views after living in Myanmar for 8 years.

Back to the herd-mentality of selfishness that prevails here. Let me talk about the open-burning. I call it the 'Open Burning Festival' as a sarcastic way of greeting the horrible stench of smoke and pollution in the air every year when the temperature in the country drops to welcome cold season. This year, I see a lot of social media users complaining about the bad Air Quality Index which was near dangerous levels in fact. Hello people - first of all, simply sharing and complaining on social media isn't going to help! Anyway, again - after 8 long years, the burning is still happening and getting worse every year! It's like, they don't wanna give themselves a break from all the existing pain. The cold temperature is the one time you can really enjoy the weather outdoors. But they decide that it's the best time for a burning festival. Ugh. The only thing I have taken upon myself is to give the people who are open-burning a bit of a lecture when I happen to pass by them. And you know, 9 out of 10 of these people (some live in the rich areas and some are as close as my landlord's family 😏😏😏) they actually know that it is bad to burn! They will say "hote, hote" and keep doing it anyway or they just grin at me. The admin guy at my apartment does it sneakily when I am not at home but usually fails to cover up the leftover burning area and I can see it from my window up above! But now that it is a WFH situation, he hasn't been able to do so. The challenge is not enough rubbish collection / rubbish bins to throw out their leaves and rubbish. Well, the inconvenient part would be to pack all these into your car or bike or whatever and bring it to the nearest dump bin. The convenient part would be to burn this because you're selfish and lazy. It's all about their convenience. Not a care about people living in the surrounding areas. Just this morning, at 35 degrees heat, the neighbour was burning again. What happens if one of the hot ash was caught by the wind and blows it to rooftops? They don't think about that. Myanmar, it's disappointing that you choose to be ignorant even when you have the knowledge. Don't wait for the government to regulate this. It's democracy. Regulate yourselves!

Recently, due to Covid-19, I also see a lot of finger-pointing and blaming going on. What really irks me the most are the photos and contents which blame businesses for "not protecting your staff". In an earlier blogpost, I had already written that this pandemic is a new issue for everyone globally. And with this virus, it is not an "I" situation. It is a "We" situation. Before you blame the business for not protecting their staff - did you ever stop to ask yourself - what the hell are you doing at the business outlet, adding on to the crowd and risking the safety of not only yourself but of the staff as well? Before you take the photos and post it all over social media, do you have any idea how the businesses here in Myanmar are trying their very best to do their best? Are you in any of their meetings? No. So, don't blame. Don't point fingers. Do your part. If you see some businesses where the staff aren't wearing a masks, why not offer them masks on your next visit? Or just keep quiet and wear your own masks please. Almost everything in Myanmar is about "other people not doing their thing" 😣😣😣 When will everyone start doing their thing instead of looking at other people not doing their thing?

And speaking about Covid-19 - why do people still spit everywhere? I have a really big issue with this. Cos at the swimming pool where I swim, doesn't matter male or female, they just love hacking back their phlegm and spitting it out. It's the most disgusting thing ever. And I'm shocked because these people come in their big, fancy cars and more often than not, the security or lifeguards will run after them to carry their bags for them. Once again, Eileen never learns to keep her mouth shut. A few times, I told them off. I gave them the dagger stare. I tell them "Don't you know it is dirty??" But of course, they ignore me. I know part of the Myanmar culture is not to be told off publicly. I don't give a shit seriously. If you intend to spit in public, then I intend to tell you off in public. (But then again, when it comes to praises and apologies, they always demand to make it public! What gives??)  But all on deaf ears. I asked the lifeguard to tell them not to spit and sometimes the lifeguards just grin at me. Maybe they are afraid of offending these"rich people" of a higher caste than them (another prevailing issue here in Myanmar). But wait! It is ok to tell me not to take photos at the pool. But "arr nar" to tell them don't spit at the pool. Seriously. I can't even. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ Which is worse? Photo or spitting? To be fair, one of the HOD  working at the pool did try to do something about it and I appreciate him stepping up. I'm just appalled. Some of these people who spit in public are young, in nice trendy clothes working in fancy office towers. So, you definitely cannot say that they are uneducated. But.....They. Still. Spit. My question is - do they spit inside their homes? On the floor of their own homes? Even participating in the marathon events here - they bloody spit while running. In the last Yoma Marathon, I had one guy spitting and his spittle landed on my shin. It was the most disgusting thing ever. If I wasn't chasing my timing and pace, I would've beaten him up, I swear to God. Instead, I just screamed at him, at how dirty he was. 😡😡😡

Look, it's not that the above issues I highlighted are making me feel unwelcomed in Myanmar. It's just an overall of everything here, the whole nature of 'kyite thar tar lote' (do as you like which usually is chaos, unplanned, using a problem to solve a problem.....) that is really, really making me question - "Do I really have another 8 years to give this country?" I mean, I am trying my best here for the people and to bring about some good. (again, acknowledging that there are millions out there, some locals, some foreigners who are all trying in the same struggles and challenges as me, to help the people of this country. Let's give ourselves a pat on the back!). I realized maybe what I do is significantly small to create any large changes. However, I still believe that making an impact for one person is better than no impact. But, I dunno, the whole herd-mentality and the refusal to move forwards, take accountability for actions, the selfishness, the drama, is really taking its toll on me and wearing me out. I don't even use energy these days to try to understand some of the things here anymore. In fact, speaking to some of my Myanmar friends here, they too do not understand their own people! So how can me, a foreigner understand any more than them??  I'm not saying this doesn't happen in other countries. I am sure it does. But I'm here in Myanmar right now so let's talk about Myanmar. (I can vouch that Malaysia and the idiotic government is not that far away. LOLOL!)

Well, to be honest, at the start of 2020, I was planning my next big adventure. Palestine, Israel or Syria. In fact, MOH, always being so supportive of my life's purpose to save the world was looking up flights and travel plans to either Palestine or Syria so that I could check out the place and plan my next move. And then we all know happened. The damn Covid-19 happened. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️
So, here we are, not being able to travel and unable to be with my family too. And in the middle of all of these, in 40 degrees heat, power cuts! I feel someone up there is testing me daily. But the closure of airports and halting of any travel plans (in fact, any damn plans at all) have bought me some time here in Myanmar. Looking back at the 8 years, it's not all negative here for me in Myanmar. The work that I do here has positive purpose and impact and 8 long years after, I get to see some tiny, tiny bit of results and that is always a wonderful thing.

I had been doing my succession planning and for SoyAi and The Children of Tomorrow Youth Centre, I have 100% faith and believe in Htet Shine who has really stepped up, you know. In the midst of the coronavirus crisis, he had tried to innovate his business and scaled up the delivery and hygiene. I'm so, so, so proud of him and his team. If I do leave Myanmar, the ONE thing I would be very proud of would be SoyAi and Htet Shine. I do have access to the SoyAi FB Page although I don't touch anything at all. I see a lot of messages from customers who are supportive and most of all, a lot of messages saying "I love your tofu!" or "We love your soy milk!". This is all Htet Shine yeah. Absolutely nothing to do with me. I wanna also say thank you to Ma Kye from Organic Valley for looking out for Htet Shine and his tofu too. They are actually next door neighbours! Htet Shine and his SoyAi team will indeed find their growth and success in time. I know it from the bottom of my heart. This year, Htet Shine and I were planning the annual children's Pre-Thingyan Party. And we had to cancel because of the current situation. He loves the children and that's very important for the business purpose. If you do see him, or if he happens to deliver soy milk or tofu to you, please give him a cheer. Tell him he can do this!

For some of my first batch of mentees, in the last year or two, I had already stepped back from them. Letting them grow their own wings to fly. Yeah, I do get the occasional "Sayarma!!!! I need to talk!!" or "Sayarma, I need some guidance!!" which is all fine by me, yeah - as long as they remember to mark down in their book of debts, the lobsters they owe me 😜😜😜 But seeing them grow over the years had been wonderful too. And c'mon, with technology these days, I can still "talk" to them online. Zoom is the in-thing now, isn't it? 😆😆😆 There is another team which I was mentoring and coaching closely and one day, I was told point-blank : "Your micro-management is suffocating us!" Ouch. It's fine. I can accept both courage to tell me and reasons. Sometimes, I too never learn. I need to consistently believe and trust in myself, that I have guided and coached them the best that I can and really, to empower people is to let them walk and fall. So, I dropped this team into the deep end of the ocean. And you know what? They seemed to have stepped up. And again - in light of the whole crisis and "new normal", they are managing things to the best of their abilities, striving and thriving. I see some mistakes here and there, but you know what? They will learn by themselves. As usual - I am always gonna be around to guide when my guidance is needed. That's all.

Of course, I had taken on more new students / mentees under my wings. It is my personal goal to see them flourish. This would never stop for me, no matter where I am. Some are flourishing, some are struggling, some are consistently inconsistent (you all know who you are!!!). All walks of life. I would one day, look back and remember them all, with their different characteristics, behaviour, attitudes and perhaps laugh fondly, especially at the times I physically slapped them. 😜😜😜 I know some try to portray something else to me and to the rest of the world, but they can't escape my eyes. Especially now that I have finished my Social Psychology Certificate Course. When that happens, it is my job to subtly bring them back down to earth. Oh, I have my ways. Having said that, I am a bit more choosy with whom I extend my mentoring time to now. Quality over quantity. As of last year, my new motto is that my mentoring zone is a 'No Drama Zone'. The moment you bring your drama in, I will drop you like a hot charcoal. So far, this has worked perfectly for me, seeing as how the Myanmar folks just love dramas! But I never say no to anyone who just needs some help or advise. It is up to them whether they are "arr nar" or not. But some do feel as if they are entitled and these are people I don't care to give time to.

The uni where I am lecturing in, Strategy First University is closed at the moment - again, we all know why. I think much to my students' joy, I am publicly admitting that I miss their naughtiness. In particular the current digital class that had to stop midway. I used to dread Wednesdays because this class is particularly naughty. They are united in their naughtiness 😫😫😫 But now that I haven't seen them for a month plus, I'm beginning to miss them. I just miss teaching overall. I did try over the Thingyan break to get them to do a lecture with me online. But they were so naughty, they ignored me!! 😕😕😕 Well, I have a bad feeling that when school actually reopens, they would all have forgotten everything! Like every business in Myanmar affected by the Covid-19, SFU is no different. I have very high respect for the school's principal and for what he does to empower the youth of this country and will continue to give them my support, as long as it is within my capabilities.

The unnaturally quiet Thingyan this year here in Myanmar had also given me some time to reflect - is my job here really done?

With the Covid-19 wreaking havoc globally, we can already start seeing the damage being done here in Myanmar particularly to the underprivileged communities. I read about a man starving to death a couple of days ago and it is so very sad. Yes, whilst it is true that I don't think I have another 8 years to give this place, but I know now there's more work to be done here. I do know that I can't possibly do it alone. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. I do have some plans in my head on rejuvenating a small part of the economy post-Covid and at the same time, helping ease the burden of the poorer communities. I just need to put the proper plans in place and find the right people to partner up with. So, do stay tuned! (If you're interested - let me know. I'm gonna be working closely with local restaurants and small eateries.)

They say in every cloud, there is a silver lining. In every dark times, you can find the light. In every challenges, there are opportunities. And in any occasion, we can choose to rise. Well, I am going to choose to rise, as I always do, against the electricity, the challenges, the burning, the spitting, the idiotic road users and all the frustrations.  I am not Mr. B, so I might flip the table and lose my shit every so often - made worse that my MMA classes have also stopped these days so I have nowhere to release my anger except on my poor husband 😂😂😂 or I might give an idiot road user my middle finger (you know, one day, I'm gonna be a popular meme in Myanmar - "Sayarma Eileen and Her Middle Finger" 😝😝😝 but seriously, some of these drivers really deserve my middle finger!!)  Anyway, I just have to understand that for me, my life's goal and purpose does not change, where ever I may be. Whenever I digress, I need to refocus on my purpose and find ways to action upon my purpose.

These days, with a volatile pandemic situation, my future plans look a little vague. While my new adventures would have to be on hold for now, I intend to make use of my time here, to continue doing good for the people of a country that had welcomed me and MOH for the past 8 years.

Covid-19 : Keeping Sane And Positive

Weekly Family Calls

So, how is everyone holding up during this period - whether you're in MCO or full LD.... ? Well, they said that this period is gonna go down in history and we should document it somehow. So, here's my second blog about this Covid-19 period.

Anyone having anxiety attacks? Confession - I am. I have never felt so trapped before ever - and the Yangon International Airport just announced that the airport will extend the closure till end of April. My anxiety really stems from my fear of not being able to get to my parents if an emergency happens. And then I'm worried for SoyAi and the children, and then I'm worried about my students and my mentees. Of course, I try to remain positive and strong, and I tell my students or my mentees that I don't miss them and that I need them to stay alive otherwise I have no one to throw under the bus (you know who you are!! LOL!) and furthermore, I have so many unclaimed lobster debts!! But still I worry. These are unprecedented times. Who the hell knows what can happen? I worry about so many aspects. But I try not to dwell on it. Still, sometimes, I would be in bed, seemingly not thinking about it, and all of a sudden, I would, and my heart rate would go through the roof and I can't seem to breathe. I have to calm myself down and bring my thoughts away to the good thoughts. I am talking in my sleep most nights now. The other night, according to my other half (MOH), I was waking myself up calling out "Eileen! Eileen! Wake up! Wake up!!" Well, at least he's having a good laugh. I hate that I can't control something. And for a control-freak, this is tough. But then again, I try to work on things I can control instead.

Like work. Well, I've been doing the WFH thing for the past 3 weeks and for an introverted person like me - it's awesome because I don't need to meet people! I don't have to dress up (I'm naked all the time so it's usually screen-off for me during video calls 😂😂😂) I don't have to waste time sitting in traffic. The only down side to it is that I can't physically scream at someone for doing something stoopid or pummel them to death when they annoy me 😂😂😂

First off - my hate for talking to people and being in meetings have trained me very well for times like these. I pride myself to be someone who can get things organized without needing to talk. For me, working on any projects at all, the first thing I need to do is to GET ORGANIZED and PLANNED. This is through and through my Papa's genes in me. I can whip up a Project Management excel sheet or a WIP Checklist in 20-30 mins to get organized. And my detailed written brief is on point - I colour code the items for different teams in the file and then I detail out the follow-ups and tasks in an email. AND because I know 90% of email recipients do not read long emails, I make it easy for everyone too. I tag people only in the colour codes where they actually need to read and do a task or follow-up. And then I go back into the chat and tell them that I've tagged them in the area where they need to do a task. I realized that many people who enjoy the benefit of F2F verbal communications are now having a hard time adapting. They find the constant ping-ing of the chat driving them up the walls, they can't catch up with the long emails..... they even miss chat messages (because 20 people in a group chat and everyone talking and messaging almost at the same time! LOL!) Well, stay calm, breathe and get a grip people! This IS the 'new normal'. Those who reply emails and chats after 24 hours or simply miss messages or emails - newsflash - the pigeon system has been obsolete for centuries. 😝😝😝

But this Covid-19 situation had drowned me out at work though and MOH too! The downside of WFH? I've been sitting in front of the computer from 8.30am till 6.30pm, sometimes 7.30pm every single day for the last 3 weeks! (I try to limit the hours on weekends though) but it had been unbelievable even for me. My ass is sore from just sitting down. Even on my supposed off days, I'm there 😣😣😣 Well, MOH and I are both in the communications line of our respective "essential business" categories. This is the time where communications is super important - both internally & externally - to allay fears, to reassure people, to do the usual ra-ra and tell them hey, we've got this.

Some days, I find myself writing up to seven PR statements about Covid-19 or sometimes, writing up to 36 contents for Covid-19. Those are days that I swear to God, if I wrote another press statement regarding Covid-19, I would literally puke. And then I do it all over again the next day. LOL. Once or twice, I created a new virus - Covid-10 and Covid-18 in my press releases 😁😁😁 Somedays, I have to make like a hundred changes to a statement. It frustrates me and annoys me. I understand people have the FOMO syndrome - the fear of missing out. But for on-point comms, we need to focus people! Because the general public cannot digest too many bits of information at one go! And then all of a sudden, we have ten thousand people who wants to add their say into the comms. On top of that, all the other work outside of Covid-19 needs to carry on! But seriously - talk about Covid-19 ramping up all the digital efforts suddenly. LOLOL.

Well, since I cannot punch people now that we are all WFH, I end up just banging my head on the table (the worse part is my MMA classes have stopped for now, so I have nowhere to release my anger and do anger management! 😵😵😵) I was bitching to my bro the other day about some annoying issue at work and said "I'm about to lose my shit." And his response was : "To be honest, you lose your shit all the time!" 😂😂😂 (And in the same hour when he said that to me, another colleague of mine mentioned the exact same words!! LMAO!!) Which was true. So now, I've changed my go-to sentence for annoying situations - "Don't make me flip the table!!" 😂😂😂

But on the positive side, I am glad to be drowned out in work because otherwise, I might rot. Further to that, in this new normal, everyone is a bit more understanding of the situation and we all try to keep each other sane. Me being me, I will straight up tell people I am naked and can't do a screen-on video call. I would ask them to get naked too for the #NakedVideoChallenge LOL. Some others would send joke of the day. But no matter what, we are all trying our best to get shit done. And then sometimes, shit hits the fan over and over again.

I mentioned in an earlier blog that this unprecedented crisis weeds out the doers from the NATOs (No Action Talk Only). The NATOs actually have nowhere to hide in the face of this crisis. And their NATO-ness is stark naked right out there. But the doers and those who step up would also clearly be seen.

I am very lucky that one of my students is on my team. And this boy, he had leveled up several times in the past 3 weeks. Well, he did fall off the wagon for half a day - he felt that because we were also working on weekends that he had no time off and he took a half day rest because he was stressed out and I gave him such a shelling that the very next day, he leveled up 3 notches! To be fair, his point was valid. When we WFH, it is hard to draw the line between personal time and work time and for alot of people, this is a first experience for them. However, I'm kind but I will never show my kindness when it comes to pushing my team. Well, some people you push and they break at the seams. Some others - like this boy - he's been one step ahead of me for the past 1 week which is saying something. I am so proud of him for his attitude. AND, now that it is the Thingyan holidays, he even told me that he would be on "standby" online for any urgent crisis or things to do. Of course outwardly, I told him - "Good cos no Thingyan holidays for us." but I'm really avoiding messaging him about work. I also realized sometimes, teams look up to their leaders. If their lead is fighting alongside with them in the trenches and not just shouting instructions from the sidelines, they tend to level up faster. Anyway, proud of him, really proud of him.

I've also seen others that I coach or mentor level up during this period. Y'all know who you are. I see the responsibility level-up, I see the maturity level up (for some, not all!!) Sure, there are things that needs to be improved. I know it's tough as y'all are adjusting to the new normal. But you guys are all young and adaptive and innovative. Don't look at a problem as a problem but try to see the opportunity in a crisis. You've all got this ok??

On the personal front, I'm trying to stay sane and I'm keeping my normal routine of the morning workout as much as possible. I still wake up at an unGodly hour (maybe much to my neighbours' chagrin) and now that it is home-training, I've had to get creative with what I do. The fit community that I know are also very supportive - we share workouts, we give shoutouts... I even got a kettlebell on loan! Some of the girls join me for live online sessions. Not so much of coaching really, but just a couple hours of being sane and laughing together. That helps me and I hope it helps them too. I mean, simply said, it's what working out is all about. Just a few hours of just forgetting the rest of the world and focusing on "not dying" during the training 😂😂😂 Hope they keep their consistency. We're gonna be seeing some fab bods after this period. LOL. I'm also thankful that it hasn't been a full LD here in Yangon so me and MOH had still been able to go out for our runs at least.

Now that it is the Thingyan holidays (we were supposed to do a big trip with our parents this period), I'm gonna use this time to catch up on my lessons and assignments for my social psychology courses. Ever since the WFH started, I have been so far back with my lessons and assignments!! Ugh. Then, catch up on some reading as well and also I wanna see if I can carry on with my digital strategy lectures but in a different way. And maybe more writing, hopefully!

Other than that, two introverts are enjoying the time indoors too. We're doing a bit more cooking at home of course. But it's getting to me a bit. I mean, I usually get by on normal days, you know, meal prepping the healthy stuff and basically, I eat those 3 times a day whereas MOH only eat that once a day. But now, he can't deal with having to eat the same food for lunch and dinner and that's where my challenge comes. LOL. For some reason, he's been announcing to me restaurants that are opened for delivery every time he came across something. He must be desperate!

Yangon in this period had returned to the state it was in when we first arrived in 2012. Not many cars, a bit more slow outside and no crazy honking and stuff. There are people about but no one really in your face. It takes a pandemic sometimes to find our zone again. (it also takes a pandemic to wipe out all the work you've done for the past months or years!). And for the first time ever, Yangon is quiet during the Thingyan Festival. Our 8th year here in Myanmar and the first time we've experienced this kind of peace and tranquility in Yangon during this period.

MOH and I, together with one of my students, went out over to East Dagon slum areas to donate some of my Mobile Soup Movement Care Packages to the people there. These are generally the unregistered odd job labourers who would be the most impacted from the economic brunt of Covid-19. We took all the precautions necessary to protect them and ourselves, disinfecting the packages and ourselves before distribution and making sure to practice physical distancing and limiting the talking. I felt helping people was something I had control over and I could do. My heart goes out to those whose life would be so FUBAR-ed from losing their income. My miserable amount of care packages could not reach every household in that area. As much as I wanna help, there is still so much more to help. But we do what we can. Something is always better than nothing. We just do, with all our hearts. 🙏🙏🙏

Again, during these times, especially it being the Thingyan and Myanmar New Year period, to those who are able to be with your family - then do spend quality time with them. Put away your phones or whatever and just spend time with them. Play Scrabble or UNO or Jenga. Whatever rocks your world as a family unit. You don't know how lucky you are that you are locked in with them. There are people like us here who can only video call our parents. When this shit is over, the first thing I'm a do is to take the flight home.

#StayStrong #StaySafe everyone!

Covid-19 : Challenging The Humanity In Us

Me not happy being forced
to use the mask

These are strange and crazy times we are living in. When the news of the Covid-19 outbreak first came to head, I was living in denial. I refused to read any news regarding that and would even scold MOH for forwarding the news to me. My attitude was quite simple – ignorance is bliss. Even when it reached alarming levels during the CNY break, I was still living my bliss. When my parents made a fuss about putting on the mask when I was going to board my flight back to Myanmar from KL, I was protesting (I told them the mask was suffocating me to death 😂😂😂)

When I returned to Myanmar, blissfully, there were “no confirmed cases” (as of right now, still no confirmed cases. I must be in the safest country in the world!!) So, whilst the gravity of the problem kept escalating, I felt I was safe in my bliss. But then, I forgot that social media was a way of life for me. No matter what, unless I completely got off social media, I couldn’t stop seeing feeds regarding this global pandemic. And also, I was roped in for the BCP and Crisis Communication Planning for this at work. I wish I wasn’t. Because I then had to immerse myself in the news – both local and global. One thing bad about me is that I over-empathize sometimes. When I read depressing news, it affects me mentally. And everywhere I turned, it was Covid, Covid, Covid. There were the occasional “Just Bidet! Bidet!” and the singing on the balconies for quarantined communities, but otherwise, it was grim. Needless to say, I've been having sleepless nights. I've been realizing more about myself - in that during desperate situations or if I hear of tragic events or stuff where I am not in control and can't do anything to help, it disturbs me. For some reason. I'm still a WIP anyway. Like if I read about hunger and poverty - I can help. I can do something. But in situations where I just can't, it disturbs me. I don't know why. Anywayssss.......

Then.... one fine evening, due to a social media rumour (c’mon people, stop it already! Equip yourselves on tackling fake news, misinformation and disinformation!!), the shit hit the fan for Myanmar and panic-buying happened. Panic begets panic. And more rumours. More disinformation. The immaturity of people on social media here is next-level 😒😒😒 So, like clockwork, my crisis management instinct took over and I've been putting in extreme extra time to manage all Covid-19 issues at work.

Covid-19 is an unprecedented global pandemic. It is a huge new learning curve, especially for me and MOH who are both in the marketing and communications field. Whilst we seldom talk too much about our work and stuff, this was something we did speak about because we’re on a steep learning curve on how to deal with this, manage the communications and as well as the BCPs. We were checking with each other on what we should be doing / planning / thinking and sharing learnings. Trust me when I said we were speed-learning and we kept each other going for this. Well, couple-goals isn't it? LOL.

I wish though that the general public globally would be a little kinder in understanding that for businesses, this is new too. Everyone is dealing with it the best way possible. The impacts are monstrous – from micro to macro levels. Hence a BCP – what they call a “Business Continuity Plan”. But smaller businesses unfortunately, will not have the capacity to do this. Some would crumble. Everyone's talking about the economic impact these days.

For me, I think Covid-19 challenges our humanity. I've always liked to believe that human beings are generally good. But it looks like when the push comes to shove, we would kill each other. It's like 'survival of the fittest'. I haven’t gotten to the bottom of these kind of mentality (I had recently enrolled for a course on social psychology but I haven’t finished it!!) and I would certainly never understand. At the first sign of trouble, we think only about ourselves. What about the poor? The old? I hoard but stocking up 12 bottles of sanitizer is over-doing it, don’t you think? Not only that – the whole herd-mentality behaviour – not caring if they’re impacting the situation more negatively. It’s like Corona-Party yo!! I have to say, I am rather disappointed with people's behaviour and attitude - as far as those I can see and not just those on social media. The pure stupidity, the blame-game, the drama-lovers, the selfish, the crass.... I can see humanity losing this battle. Yes, I do try to look for the positive news, but how many real ones have we got vs the grim? But yet, I try to remain calm and positive.

Another thing I feel is that Covid-19 is a sure way of weeding out poor leadership for many businesses and governments (do I even need to mention "Malaysia Boleh"? #FacePalm). Forbes recently published a post on “How To Handle Your Corporate Communications” in the face of the Coronavirus pandemic. I quote them here : "At its core, crisis communication must be built on four pillars : honesty, transparency, accountability, and consistency. That means telling the truth, not hiding the facts, not blaming someone else, and doing what you're saying while also saying what you are doing." I for one am very, very particular about businesses operating and communicating in a transparent manner. That is because I am myself very transparent. If I am not happy, I speak it. If I am happy, I speak it. I don't hide things. I always thought that people should be matured enough to deal with my communication transparency and the fact that I don't mince my words (but my thinking is obviously wrong 😕😕😕) One more essential thing is speed. Especially in the face of such a threat where the situation is so dynamic and ever-evolving. I teach the 4Rs of Crisis Communications in the Digital Age in my classes. Whilst the crisis is very new for everyone, I believe the fundamentals does not change. And I believe that during such a crisis situation where people have misinformation and disinformation, it is all too important that they have trust in the leadership to be steering them in the right direction and guiding them towards safety and recovery. If these are not communicated well enough and fast enough, very quickly, they will form their own opinions and psychology states that when opinions are formed, it is a difficult task to change that. 

Anyway, while being in Myanmar, the “new” stolen government of Malaysia decided to call for a “Restricted Movement Order” banning people from going home and going abroad. And for a brief moment, I panicked. My parents were stuck in Malaysia and I am stuck here. And if something happened to them, how? I’d hate to think I won’t be able to get to their side on time. (It was during these moments of panic, I read the news of people not being able to hold their funerals and weddings and shit and I was seriously dead from worrying. I didn't sleep the whole night!). But Mama and Papa reassured me they were doing well. They were not participating in the panic-buying crowds or going anywhere with hoomans. We were in constant contact. Meanwhile, work kept me busy and I was quite adamant to live life as normal as possible without making too much changes or fuss about things. I had to believe that everything will be ok and that my grandparents are watching out for me from heaven. Without this belief, I might go crazy.

For an introvert like me, social distancing and no large gatherings is a definite welcome. I have a big excuse when I get a wedding or event invitation. In fact, my first question when I received an event invitation yesterday was “Shouldn’t you be cancelling this event now?” Because Myanmar too had called for all large gatherings to be cancelled and the closure of schools, cinemas, etc, etc. I just wish they would call for an RMO like Malaysia too. This is so that I have a high possibility of  being able to avoid people who spit, spit, spit and spit every-f***ing-where here. 🤪🤪🤪

But having said that, I started doing the supportive thing by checking in with friends and students near and far and asking how they’re holding up. For some, like us, we’re stuck in a country that isn’t our home. For others, they’re stuck in their home country unable to get out. For more, again, like us, are fire-fighting at work with BCPs and Crisis Management and shit WHILE we are worried about our loved ones at home. It is not part of my routine at all to “check-in” on friends and all because I see them on FB and stuff but the time calls for us to be supportive and check-in on our friends and families.

The situation and time also calls for us to be more giving. More humane. More supportive. Look in on each other. Yes, social recluse are social recluse but we can still check-in on people. My monthly Mobile Soup Movement here in Myanmar is still on and I have called for volunteers to prioritize the old and the needy starting from this month.

I call for everyone to practise fact-checking. To be kinder. To be more supportive. To understand. The world as we know it is changing and the way we do things will also change (MOH had taken to washing, washing and washing our sheets and stuff almost on a daily basis!!). To survive as a human race, we need to be more humane and what we do now will show when we come out on the other side of this pandemic.

#BeTheLightInTheDark

CNY 2020 : The Presence and Absence of Ah Por

Just one big family gathering at home

Every year, I look forward to the CNY celebrations. Even as a kid, I would count the number of days to CNY. For me, it is the once or twice a year where the entire clan gets together. (The other time we get together would be Cheng Beng)

This year, would be the first time ever in my life of going through CNY without any of my grandparents. It's not easy for me to wrap my head around this, though I'm getting better at trying to come to terms with it.

Initially, I was a little sad as I thought now that Ah Por is no longer around, no one will bother to upkeep the family tradition of the reunion dinner and all the festivities. But I was delighted to learn that all my uncles and aunties, even my parents and my uncle in Sabah came back for the reunion dinner and also for the 1st day traditional vegetarian lunch and the 2nd day's traditional family feast. So MOH and I did some planning and also arranged for my in-laws to join us in the reunion and family gatherings in the old village house. My brother came back from OZ as well, so we booked everyone into a hotel - this was very much a first for me too. I've never ever stayed away from the village house in all of my life for CNY.

Anyway, it was one major family gathering. I am pretty sure Ah Por is happy that we gathered despite her absence and that was important for me. Because in all her life, she placed utmost importance in seeing the family sit down for meals together during CNY too. (Maybe that's where I got it from).

I sure as hell hope that every year, the family continues to gather and upkeep this tradition. It holds extreme significance for me because to me - I've only got ONE family. It's not that big, but it's not that small either.  No matter how much differences we may have, surely, for that one time a year, we could gather and catch-up as families do. Maybe some may or may not be able to make it, for their valid reasons, but I sure as hell hope they continue making an effort to come home. It's not so much about the celebrations, but it is about having a family. It is not so much about who does what more and who does what less, but it is about family ties. Without the anchor of a family, I would just be a lost drifter.

Those who know me well would already know that this family of mine is my kryptonite. There's nothing I wouldn't do for them, as long as I am capable. I guess, my personality is that I am never a calculative person. Not at work, not with my family. I've never been the type to say or even think "I did more than you, I paid more than you" or whatever. I may be angry at them sometimes, but if they needed help, I'd do it. They may have let me down sometimes, but I'd never turn my back on them. In fact, the fact that I can take care of myself AND them is a very good thing isn't it? It means I am capable AF. And I believe very much in my heart that all four of my grandparents are protecting me from high up in heavens simply because I am such a bloody good granddaughter with such a bloody big heart 💖💖💖 (self-praise, but I deserve it 😜😜😜)

At this time, I have to say I am blessed with very open-minded and modern in-laws who understands my attachment with my family and have on several occasions (my mom-in-law) joined me in celebrating with my side of the family. Given my nature, I would've rebelled in any case 😜😜😜For me, it is better to rebel than to begrudgingly do something I do not wish to do and hold that unhappiness in me for years to come. Or worse still, hold that grudge on my poor husband. LOLOL. Anyway, glad that any rebelling was unnecessary in my case.

Anyway, everyone had since left after the Day 2 family feast, including MOH and my in-laws. As usual, I stayed behind. I used to do that to keep Ah Por company a few more days before I depart back to Myanmar or wherever it was I used to work at. My life back here had always revolved around her in the last 15 years (before that, Ah Kung was still around and my life revolved around the both of them!) Now that Ah Por is in heaven, it still feels really strange. Looking at the chair she used to park herself in, looking at the stool in the toilet where I used to sit her down and showered her (I can even hear her screaming "Are you slaughtering a chicken! The water is too hot!!" 😅😅😅), looking at the seat where she usually sat for meals.... her presence and her absence, all at once is quite overwhelming.

Still, I am staying back a few more days maybe because I wanted to continue feeling Ah Por's presence here. Plus, I don't often get a chance to live here much now. It's like a vacation anyway. I wanted some days of pure peace and quiet, with no one around so that I can get some of my work done as well as getting some of my reading and writing done. Except for the heat, I love this village since I was a kid. I'm not a city kid. I hate tall buildings and hoomans. Here is perfect because you hardly see another person unless you ventured out to the town. How much introverted am I? LOL.

To be real honest, I am very, very sad - also, part of the reason I wanted a few days away from people just so that I can be sad without having to put up a strong front or whatever. Just a few days for me to reminisce the good memories with Ah Por and all my grandparents, for me to try to grasp and understand things that had happened, for me to brace myself for things to come, for me to just miss them all like hell. Ah Por was my last one standing and having lost 3 grandparents prior, I clung onto Ah Por and all the previous losses were easier to bear. Now that Ah Por had joined Kung Kung, Por Por and Ah Kung in heaven, it is real hard for me to accept that the people who doted on me, who spoiled me silly, who let me get away with murder for everything in the world are now absent.

I am suspicious of how my heart would be able to take more losses. People always say "Eileen you're so strong." I guess to a certain extend, I am. And then, I am not. I guess God was quite fair. He made me strong and fragile at the same time. And most often, I don't even like talking about my feelings. I express myself better in writing. I have issues, I guess 😝😝😝 I also recently realized another issue I have - my refusal to part with Stinky even for one night. Ah Por made that busuk pao for me when I was 5yrs old and she had predicted that I would even bring Stinky along into my wedding bed. She predicted right. LMFAO. Usually, when I went on trips, I would leave Stinky behind. But since Ah Por left us, I've been carrying Stinky every trip I went. For some, this may be an alarming behaviour (told you I've got issues) but everyone will deal with their shit in their own way, isn't it?

Whilst I am still trying to digest Ah Por's absence, I'm constantly reminding myself to celebrate life. Hence, I have extended my leave so that I get to spend some time with Mama and Papa back in the city too. I would be keeping my calendar quite free for them. Friends who understands me would not chastise me for not looking them up.

There are many memories of Ah Por that would make me laugh out loud. One that I would recall is for the past 4 or 5 years, when I thought Ah Por's memory was kinda failing, I would scheme additional ang pows from her during CNY. She would usually start the morning of the 1st day distributing her ang pows to all the children and grandchildren. I would get one, and later that day, when more visitors came and she was distributing ang pows again, I would tell her "Hey! How come you forgot to give me mine??" and on Day 2 of CNY, when extended families came back and she would distribute the ang pows again, I would do the same thing. Some years, I had to argue a long time, insisting that she hasn't given me any. 😂😂😂 Looking back now, I think she wasn't all that forgetful. She was just letting me get away with murder as usual. This year, since we can't celebrate, I have not received even one packet of ang pow. I'll make it all back next year. Perhaps, I could scheme from Mama and Papa next year. LOL.

One other memory is quite a long conversation. Ah Por used to boil soup with that charcoal stove thingamajig. She swore by it I tell you. Anyway, one year, I was helping her (or rather pretending to help her 😜😜😜) and she was like in Cantonese saying "Open the door! Open the door!" For the life of me, I didn't know what the hell she was on about. The back door to the outdoor kitchen was already opened so I told her that the door was already opened! And she scolded me "Haiyaaaaa sei ting nga yee!!! This door! This door! Sei choon!!" (in general, she called me a stoopid fool 😂😂😂) as she pointed to the little trap door to that charcoal stove. So, me being the smart alec that I was, I told her "Ah Por, these days, we are all modern people. We don't use stupid things like these. We use modern stove, just switch on, switch off. Fast and easy." Do you know what was her respond to that? She said "Those things are only for lazy people. No wonder you are so lazy!" Her sarcasm and wit was next level. There was no winning with her. 😅😅😅

Yesterday evening, in a conversation with my 3rd Uncle, we spoke about the infamous "513" - the racial riots on May 13th 1969 where the Malays were killing Chinese folks everywhere. Whilst the epicenter of the riots was in Kuala Lumpur, there was a nationwide curfew and some small towns had some minor incidences. Whatever it was, everyone was on the edge and trying to stay out of trouble. So it was, a few days after May 13, there was a rumour that there was a riot near the village. So my Uncle rushed on his bicycle to go to the rubber estate to get Ah Por home as she was out tapping rubber. Ah Por shooed him away and said "Yes, yes, I'll get going once I finish a few more trees." She apparently didn't stop at "a few more trees" LOL. She finished all her tapping, handed over the rubber to whoever it was she needed to hand it over to and collected her wages before walking home cool as a cucumber - while all her sons were hiding in the house 😂😂😂 That was really epic Ah Por. Surely the riots didn't faze her. She lived through the Japanese occupation! She also lived through the war against the commies, her own brother being a commie himself. (I've known of how she would take the risk and hid food in the house and her brother would come out from the jungle in the still of the night to get the food. At that time, the British patrols were really strict and in fact, most of the Chinese villages in rural Malaysia were created to make it easier to monitor commie activities!)

I seriously have access to some pretty damn rich history and stories to be told.

Ah Por, Por Por, Kung Kung, Ah Kung..... I miss all of you. But don't you worry. I will continue to live a good life as a good person, eat well and work hard. And please continue to protect me from high up there ok? Make sure to keep me out of trouble. You know how samseng I can be 😈😈😈 And may there be a hundred more reunions with the family.