Messages At Midnight: 8 YEARSSSSSSSS .... Really???

#MeAndYouJustUs2 + 8years

Last week, when we were out with some friends, I was asked - so how many years married? And I announced that MOH and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary this month. And then he jabbed me in the ribs and said "It's only 8 years lahhhh.". Forgive me. I was never good at math. But let me attempt the numbers again.... we're celebrating 22 years of friendship and in that 22 years, we had 3 years of dating and 8 years of being husband and wife. Yes, I got them numbers right this time 😉😉😉

Whilst we are indeed celebrating yet another additional year to our journey, I usually like to take this time to reflect on our #MeAndYouJustUs2 journey. A lot of people, especially our students, the SoyAi Boys, they see us and they think "relationship goals". News flash - relationships take effort and hardwork too.

I don't think many people know - some of the hardships that we had been through as a couple. There was a year, while we were in Cambodia that my business was doing really terribly and MOH got retrenched..... we were struggling each month trying to figure out how we would make rent, pay bills, etc. I remembered that day when he came home and we were up on the rooftop of our apartment block and he broke the news to me. "I'm getting retrenched." Just like that. And just as automatically - even though we were both relying on his salary (because my business was near closing) - I told him "It's ok. If we have rice, we would eat rice and if we had porridge, we would eat porridge." Struggling in those days were tough. Despite the hardships, one of the thing that kept us going were the children at Happy Tree, the HIV+ orphanage we volunteered at. For them, for our families and for my team, we put up brave fronts every week when we visited, still bringing them snacks and stationaries, etc. Behind them, we fought to survive. I can remember those midnight moments, in the middle of the Cambodian summer heat with no electricity and we can't sleep.... I can vividly remember the silhouette of MOH sitting up on the bed, holding the corner of the blanket with his teeth and another two corners with his hands and fanning me to sleep. I would never forget that image. New Year's eve of 2010 - we literally celebrated with white porridge at home. The thing was, I don't remember any ill-feelings. I only remembered us staying strong together.

Whatever it was, Lord Buddha was kind. We survived and we passed that hurdle, my team and I moved the business through despite being on the verge of closing and 2 years later, MOH and I moved to Myanmar. As they say - the rest is history. As a couple, we never forgot those hard times and it is also part of the reason why we live so humbly. The hardship had helped us deal with all those laughable Myanmar Moments 😅😅😅 Whilst we do get help once a week to sweep and mop the place (I can never thank Li Su enough because she's a God-sent and I'm happy to know she's doing really well too!), we still do our own other chores mostly. I really don't care if he was the Head of Marketing for Samsung or even if he was the King! He's my husband and he better iron his own clothes!!! 😝😝😝 Admittedly, I keep "recolouring" his clothes when I do the laundry. And unlike what most people think - it was NOT ON PURPOSE!!! 😛😛😛 (I swear to God, it is also not on purpose that I sometimes lock him out of the apartment and sometimes lock him in!! 😂😂😂)

Things in Myanmar started off chillax. I missed those times where things were easier and we traveled around in that cute grandmama bicycle (everytime we went uphill, MOH would tell me to get off the bike 😂😂😂) But those hard times we been through pushed us to keep working hard. We worked hard for ourselves. We worked hard for our families. We worked hard so that we can continue shining our light and helping others too. We realized too that we're not that young anymore and the time is now, to pursue our dreams and ambitions. Understanding and supporting one another in that pursuit of our individual goals is an important element in any relationships. I am thankful that MOH supports my crazy, wild ideas of saving the world. Not just support me, but he believes in me. I am a dreamer and he's a realist. It's sometimes great because he is able to provide rational thinking when I am too far up in the clouds. LOL. He always tells me "Behind every strong woman is a stronger man.". No need to remind me every time. I know that !!

Whilst we have our individual dreams and goals, we also need to understand that we need to stay on the path together. Working on a relationship is not just about understanding and supporting one another. It is a lot of give and take. Some people may think giving in, changing your habits, not doing things that upsets your other half means "losing yourself" in the process. I beg to differ. When you're in love, and you're in a relationship, giving in is a way of finding that sweet spot where two people become one together. We do have our individual characters (I am sure those who knows us can point out how very different we are!) and our individual hobbies and passion but despite all of that, our seamless unity in the art of "giving and taking" has made us one and made us whole. I guess one of the key elements would be how the two of us are introverted / anti-social and after a full day of facing people, we go home and we don't even want to talk to each other! And that's perfectly ok! And might I also add that over the years, I have finally managed to influence MOH to be more active and seems like these days - he's competing in more races than I. See what I mean by finding that spot without feeling like losing yourself? Sometimes, human beings complicate things by thinking negatively - why does giving in to another person has to be about "losing oneself" ? Remember - it can be all about finding that sweet spot to unite stronger!

Of course, life is not all a bed of roses ya. It is so easy to take things for granted. To take each other for granted just because things are done out of habit. That's perhaps when we need to take a step back, reflect and see if there's any way we can get better. I once watched this movie circa 2001, "The Mexican" and in there was a line of question : "When 2 people love each other, when is enough, enough?" Sometimes, when things get out of hand, I like to think about this question for a bit. I don't know what answers other people might have and I sure as hell do not know what MOH's answer would be, but I know my own answer to that question. 😌😌😌

I'm reading a line off MOH's vows that are tattooed on my thighs (you know, that tattoo spot is like one of the most evil, yet smartest thing he's done in this marriage because it is a "fly-stopper". Full stop. 😏😏😏) Anyway, that line of his vows says :

"I commit to the miracle of making each day work and I promise to live a life that will honour the vows I made."

Key take-out : "Make each day work". My understanding : "Make Each Day Count".

Here's to many more of making each day count with pranks and annoying one another and laughing together and continuously finding that sweet spot. 😘😘😘