8 YEARSSSSSSSS .... Really???

#MeAndYouJustUs2 + 8years

Last week, when we were out with some friends, I was asked - so how many years married? And I announced that MOH and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary this month. And then he jabbed me in the ribs and said "It's only 8 years lahhhh.". Forgive me. I was never good at math. But let me attempt the numbers again.... we're celebrating 22 years of friendship and in that 22 years, we had 3 years of dating and 8 years of being husband and wife. Yes, I got them numbers right this time 😉😉😉

Whilst we are indeed celebrating yet another additional year to our journey, I usually like to take this time to reflect on our #MeAndYouJustUs2 journey. A lot of people, especially our students, the SoyAi Boys, they see us and they think "relationship goals". News flash - relationships take effort and hardwork too.

I don't think many people know - some of the hardships that we had been through as a couple. There was a year, while we were in Cambodia that my business was doing really terribly and MOH got retrenched..... we were struggling each month trying to figure out how we would make rent, pay bills, etc. I remembered that day when he came home and we were up on the rooftop of our apartment block and he broke the news to me. "I'm getting retrenched." Just like that. And just as automatically - even though we were both relying on his salary (because my business was near closing) - I told him "It's ok. If we have rice, we would eat rice and if we had porridge, we would eat porridge." Struggling in those days were tough. Despite the hardships, one of the thing that kept us going were the children at Happy Tree, the HIV+ orphanage we volunteered at. For them, for our families and for my team, we put up brave fronts every week when we visited, still bringing them snacks and stationaries, etc. Behind them, we fought to survive. I can remember those midnight moments, in the middle of the Cambodian summer heat with no electricity and we can't sleep.... I can vividly remember the silhouette of MOH sitting up on the bed, holding the corner of the blanket with his teeth and another two corners with his hands and fanning me to sleep. I would never forget that image. New Year's eve of 2010 - we literally celebrated with white porridge at home. The thing was, I don't remember any ill-feelings. I only remembered us staying strong together.

Whatever it was, Lord Buddha was kind. We survived and we passed that hurdle, my team and I moved the business through despite being on the verge of closing and 2 years later, MOH and I moved to Myanmar. As they say - the rest is history. As a couple, we never forgot those hard times and it is also part of the reason why we live so humbly. The hardship had helped us deal with all those laughable Myanmar Moments 😅😅😅 Whilst we do get help once a week to sweep and mop the place (I can never thank Li Su enough because she's a God-sent and I'm happy to know she's doing really well too!), we still do our own other chores mostly. I really don't care if he was the Head of Marketing for Samsung or even if he was the King! He's my husband and he better iron his own clothes!!! 😝😝😝 Admittedly, I keep "recolouring" his clothes when I do the laundry. And unlike what most people think - it was NOT ON PURPOSE!!! 😛😛😛 (I swear to God, it is also not on purpose that I sometimes lock him out of the apartment and sometimes lock him in!! 😂😂😂)

Things in Myanmar started off chillax. I missed those times where things were easier and we traveled around in that cute grandmama bicycle (everytime we went uphill, MOH would tell me to get off the bike 😂😂😂) But those hard times we been through pushed us to keep working hard. We worked hard for ourselves. We worked hard for our families. We worked hard so that we can continue shining our light and helping others too. We realized too that we're not that young anymore and the time is now, to pursue our dreams and ambitions. Understanding and supporting one another in that pursuit of our individual goals is an important element in any relationships. I am thankful that MOH supports my crazy, wild ideas of saving the world. Not just support me, but he believes in me. I am a dreamer and he's a realist. It's sometimes great because he is able to provide rational thinking when I am too far up in the clouds. LOL. He always tells me "Behind every strong woman is a stronger man.". No need to remind me every time. I know that !!

Whilst we have our individual dreams and goals, we also need to understand that we need to stay on the path together. Working on a relationship is not just about understanding and supporting one another. It is a lot of give and take. Some people may think giving in, changing your habits, not doing things that upsets your other half means "losing yourself" in the process. I beg to differ. When you're in love, and you're in a relationship, giving in is a way of finding that sweet spot where two people become one together. We do have our individual characters (I am sure those who knows us can point out how very different we are!) and our individual hobbies and passion but despite all of that, our seamless unity in the art of "giving and taking" has made us one and made us whole. I guess one of the key elements would be how the two of us are introverted / anti-social and after a full day of facing people, we go home and we don't even want to talk to each other! And that's perfectly ok! And might I also add that over the years, I have finally managed to influence MOH to be more active and seems like these days - he's competing in more races than I. See what I mean by finding that spot without feeling like losing yourself? Sometimes, human beings complicate things by thinking negatively - why does giving in to another person has to be about "losing oneself" ? Remember - it can be all about finding that sweet spot to unite stronger!

Of course, life is not all a bed of roses ya. It is so easy to take things for granted. To take each other for granted just because things are done out of habit. That's perhaps when we need to take a step back, reflect and see if there's any way we can get better. I once watched this movie circa 2001, "The Mexican" and in there was a line of question : "When 2 people love each other, when is enough, enough?" Sometimes, when things get out of hand, I like to think about this question for a bit. I don't know what answers other people might have and I sure as hell do not know what MOH's answer would be, but I know my own answer to that question. 😌😌😌

I'm reading a line off MOH's vows that are tattooed on my thighs (you know, that tattoo spot is like one of the most evil, yet smartest thing he's done in this marriage because it is a "fly-stopper". Full stop. 😏😏😏) Anyway, that line of his vows says :

"I commit to the miracle of making each day work and I promise to live a life that will honour the vows I made." 

Key take-out : "Make each day work". My understanding : "Make Each Day Count". 

Here's to many more of making each day count with pranks and annoying one another and laughing together and continuously finding that sweet spot. 😘😘😘

Here we are in Vicchio, Tuscany! #iFellInLoveWithVicchio

St George Castle, Lisbon, Portugal

This is mostly us - fun and funny. Here fooling around in Florence, Italy 

That sweet spot was my dream trip to Italy and his dream trip to Portugal all in one 😍

Myanmar..... 5th Year and Lovin' It

You won't believe this was the bridge back in
Yankin when we first moved to Myanmar 2012

Everytime I begin writing on my blog, I start by cleaning out the cobwebs. This is totally unbecoming of a supposed "writer" 😝

Wow.... Myanmar, 5th Year. I'm going through the 6th rainy season - and you know what - after the 4th year - the indoor waterfalls and dampness don't get to me anymore. LOL. I'm seasoned and conditioned. Just 2 days ago, I went home after a long, long day and found the apartment flooding. I literally went "Oh. Water." I was too tired to even bother drying it up. LMFAO. When your energy is spent trying to empower the people of Myanmar, you don't let small stuff like these get to you. Or at least you close your eyes to it (and close the door to the room that was flooding 😝)

I am still with CM and for reasons still unknown to me, DBW gave me yet another increment. In a way, I guess, it's her way of appreciating me for helping her build up her team. I've been with the team for 5 years now and I do kinda feel my job is almost done with them.  I mean, wow. Just wow for me when I look back at the level of the team 5 years ago to where they are now, they've done well. Not as fast I would've loved but they're halfway there. And really, it is quite possible for them to continue growing without me. But perhaps DBW has other plans for me. I'm not sure. I still only go in as a consultant 3 times a week. It wasn't easy the last 5 years. It was a lot of (and I mean really A LOT OF) bang-head-on-wall and boo-boos and screaming (word has it that the whole Shin Saw Pu road can hear my voice) and I knew that it worked also because the team never gave up on me either. As hard as I pushed was as hard as they tried. Attitude. You can never teach that no matter what. I'd like to write a bit more about my relationship with DBW here. It's a bit of a funny one really. We don't talk much to each other - since the day I started working. I only have lunch with her once a year. When she needs me to look into certain projects she calls on me. We don't always see eye to eye, of course. But yet, despite all of that, there's an openness between us. And the level of trust I think really speaks for itself. We have nothing signed in black & white between us. Enough said. We had a bit of a heart-to-heart talk last year and I appreciate her wanting me to stay. For me, it's just the team. I love them to bits. But if I ever learnt anything from my SoyAi experience - it is that if I am continuously there, there will be certain growth level which they will not be able to go to. So, let's see when my day is done here. I'm also consulting for NEXlabs, a tech enterprise as well as a couple of other start-ups and agencies. Working with one of Forbes #30Under30 CEO had been fun. Really. 😉 Considering I'm a tech idiot and he's a tech-God. LOL. Though I am a little overwhelmed because I don't have enough time slots to take on more. I keep wanting to do more. MOH suggested that I start contemplating a training school.... hmmm..... can my plate get any bigger??

The SoyAi Boyz are mostly on their own now. I don't see them everyday and only occasionally when the situation calls for it. I spent 2 years trying to make a difference with this project. It's now their turn. They're also managing the children, their daily needs as well as the weekend classes and the Youth Centre in general. I've also roped in some of my students to come teach at the Youth Centre and they're really loved by the kids. I'm really so thankful for their passion and dedication. You know, some may say I've shrugged my responsibility to the Youth Centre and the kids. People can say whatever they want. But considering the fact that Myanmar isn't my home country, I need to suss out a legacy plan. I have to keep empowering and INSPIRING Myanmar people to do good and that way, at least I know that when the day comes for me to leave, I know there'll be people still carrying out the good.

I'm still teaching at Strategy First. Which has been really fun because I get to observe the behaviour of different walks of working adult lives. Watch their attitudes, observe their hunger in learning, see their passion in making a difference for their beloved country. There's a huge mixture in the classes and I know some will go very far and some won't. Again - you can never teach attitude. What I can do is only keep reminding them that positive attitude and the grit to swim above all the shit will take them as far as they want to go. It is still up to them. It's the same coaching fitness classes actually. Those who want it will be there every week, consistently, gritting through the shaking pain from the 100th squat. I like to see attitude. I like to see people struggling but yet they don't give up. That motivates me to try even harder - not only for myself, but for them too. That motivates me to bring my A-Game. Over and over again.

Myanmar by far has changed in the short span of 5 years. Who would've ever thought that Hard Rock Cafe would be in Yangon? When I first arrived in 2012, my choices of eating out was rather limited. But these days, there's so many choices, we don't know what the hell to do. And then there's Uber. There's Grab. Back in the day, I had Flintstone taxis with wipers that don't work in the rain. LOL. The buses are air-conditioned now. I remember taking the buses back then - boy oh boy. It was tough. !! This rapid change has kinda got to me though. You start seeing a bit more of the ugly. You start seeing a bit more of the selfish. You start seeing a bit more of the dishonesty and distrust. Not a day goes by that I don't wish for things to be like 2012 again - despite all the inconveniences (water and electricity being a huge part - but this hasn't changed much). Yet, things were a lot simpler and no one was out to get you - at all. On good days, I get to see the simple kindness on the streets, the honesty of a poor security guard returning a diamond ring to the customer and I think - there's still hope. All is not lost. I pray Myanmar is able to preserve this....  then on the opposite side of things, there are the 1st world foreigners who come in, thinking this, this is their pot of gold. They sit there in their high seat and complain about the heat, the weather, the power cuts, the people, the supermarkets,.... if all you do is complain and bitch - go home. I was discussing with DBW actually - who by the way has a great, great love for the people of her country, about how it should be a priority KPI for all foreign-hires to upgrade the skills of the locals. If you're too busy complaining and you got no time upgrading lives and making a difference - go home. C'mon. Get off your ass, get off that high seat and go make a difference. A lot, and I mean a lot of foreigners do and some of them have really great projects empowering the people of Myanmar. Get involved! Spread love. Spread kindness. I have SoyAi and The Children of Tomorrow Youth Centre and Women4Women and a Mobile Soup Kitchen Project if anyone's looking to volunteer their time 😍😍😍God knows, I need help.

Sometimes, when Yangon seems despairing because of the rapid development and "invasion".... I like traveling to far-flung places within the country where you still get to experience the simple and honest kindness that the people of Myanmar offer. This is what's golden about you, Myanmar. Not your shwe nan dars and not your shwe whatever else. It is your shwe kindness. Please, please do preserve this. And let kindness be how the country move forwards.

You have been good to me and MOH for 5 years despite all the #MyanmarMoments. Oh, I know all those moments so damn well. The annual rental nightmare (YES - stay tuned for this as we embark on YET ANOTHER move this year!!!!), the no water for 3 days situation, the power cuts in the middle of the night during summer, the strange alien mold, the way strange lines are drawn into the road to manage traffic, the human-operated fairies wheel, the handyman who comes to your home without his tools, the list goes on. But despite all that, you stole my heart. You did. I hope to be able to continue to do good by you and your people.

Thank You Myanmar for 5 f***in' awesome years!!