Sunday, August 24, 2014

5th Year of Marriage : Still DINKs

Well, whaddaya know! 5 years as a married couple :) And proudly still DINKs :) Don't ask us about children - our answer is that we have too many :P

The last one year since our 4th anniversary had seen yet more changes to our lives here in Myanmar. Namely, MOH moved from HTC to Samsung, and with a portfolio increase, his working hours had gone crazier. Meanwhile, my working hours are a little longer at CMHL although still on a part-time basis which is fabulous. And on top of all that - we started a Youth Centre for underprivileged kids and a self-sustainability project for the teens to work on being free from donations and the cycle of poverty. Oh, and we also moved TWICE.... and one more - MOH bought a car too! (he's super-anal about his own car...!) 

With our commitments, we see a lot less of each other and Friday date nights are iffy and almost non-existent. He spends more time at work, with work, with celebs, with the media, with retail, with his boss, with everything work and I spend more time with the kids. We even resort to leaving notes out because we sometimes don't get a chance to speak! We did manage to spend 2 weeks of quality time together earlier this year when we visited Bagan, Taunggyi and Inle Lake. That was really quite fabulous. Other than that - we get breakfast together on Sundays - that's like a ritual and a must. And about a week plus ago, I saw a comment he made on FB when a friend asked to meet up on a Sunday morning... MOH said "Sundays cannot! Breakfast with wifey!" I would've been ok if he said yes. But it was sweeeet that he said that! I didn't know Sunday breakfast was an exclusive time. Now I know :) He also turned down a trip to Korea just so he'd be around for my birthday. Again, honestly, I would've been ok with that. Really. !!

Ok, so right...... it doesn't sound like we have the roaring passion ala Hollywood movies but long ago, before we even got married, MOH had already dispelled my romantic novel notions. Love is not really about "you jump, I jump." Love is about endurance. And how 'bout that? I'm a long-distant athlete ;)

Given a romantic at heart and someone who cried when Jack in Titanic died (even after watching it 26 times), you'd think my marriage would be fireworks and passion everyday! But it's not. Jack never had to live with Rose's farts and warts. Rose never had to live with Jack's incessant snoring. Let's put it this way - they never had to share a toilet, or move apartments every 8 months! Can you imagine Jack saying to Rose : "Did you just fart? OMFG it stinks like KKC!!" That would be funny, eh? Or what about "Are you done yet? I need to use the toilet NOW! NOW! NOW!" LOL!

I think I'm at a point in my life where I don't need the drama or the fireworks. It's a very comfortable marriage - one which we both know our love is strong and sure. There's no need to question if we love each other or not. No guessing games. In fact, we haven't had a fight in like a long, long, long time! (minus the one time I chastized him for driving like a madman and he shushed me so I told him to talk to my hands). Trust me, with our work and the children, there's no time for drama. Only time for love and understanding. And we've both come to understand that we will both need and have our own space to do what we need to do outside of each other. Sometimes, at the end of a long day, there's nothing we want to say or talk about because our brains are so fried, we just want to watch some bad TV and then go to bed. And that's alright. It doesn't mean our love is fading. If at all, I see it as a sign that we are surer of our love and understanding for each other. (And this year is the second time we've had to spend our anniversary apart!)

You know, I never wanted to get married. I was OK living together. But of cos, no one took my side at that time. Not even MOH :P Marriage was not considered and I think the number one reason was because I'm me :P I do whatever I want, whenever I want. MOH just made it easier transitioning into married life. Even my Ah Por says "Why you behave like an unmarried woman??!!" That says it all. And being DINKs make it a whole lot easier (though I have this feeling the powers that be don't intend to let us get away so easily with this by sending us a whole lot of kids to work with and specifically, a group of teenagers with all the teenage drama intact! #shootme) 

And with the kids - what can I say? I spend all my time and energy with them and as much as I know they love me, they worship MOH! I'd show up and they'd be asking, "Ma Eileen, where is Ko Richard? We miss him!" The boys - they just look up to him. Sure, they're afraid of Da Tiger, but he's like Da Man for them. And I can confirm this because at a recent launch for SoyAi, our self-sustainability project, the fact that I was there for the boys' presentation - from practice till the day itself was incomparable to ONE 2-min video MOH sent via whatsapp to the boys, wishing then good luck and saying he believed in them. Hah! They kept asking me to play the video AGAIN. "Ma Eileen, one more time please. We want to hear Ko Richard speak to us." He may not be around on their big day, but his video boosted their confidence by so much. Unbelievable. I also caught the boys practising to sit and pose like MOH...... overheard their conversation saying "This is how Ko Richard sit at the table in front.... you saw or not? In the newspaper, Ko Richard photo. It's like this. No. The hands must be like this. Put here!" That was so funny. But that also made my heart beam with pride. He's Da Man, alright. But he's MY man. I'm proud that he's a great example for the boys.

And what's more - I'm also proud because it doesn't get to his head. If it did, he'd be telling me to be careful what I am wearing outside in public. Hahaha. Yet, he lets me wear as I please because he says if I am comfy and happy, then he's happy. And I like to be comfy. Plus, I'm a hoarder and though he nags me about using a raincoat that is no longer waterproof, wearing shoes that are all holes ("You wear la some more! Sure pokai when you run!") he still lets me. But he'd come back with new gear for me #love

He also still kisses me every night even though I'm "snoring like a pig" as he would say. Sometimes, I know he deliberately wake me up while kissing me just so I am aware he actually did kiss me otherwise I wake up in the morning and deny being kissed. LOL! Me? I just like to wake him up by putting icy hands on his bum or by pinching his butt :P

He may be gallivanting with Ms Myanmar or all the beautiful celebs out there, but he comes home to my dinner-eaten-out-of-the-frying-pan and finishes up every morsel of it. And when we can make date nights or usual Sunday brunches, when he feels like indulging, although I'm like - what's the occasion? he includes me in the equation. In fact, he insists I'm in the equation ("Why do you need to babysit them? You can do that after we come back from lunch!" :P) For that, I am happy. And every time he goes away for a trip, he comes back with lots of goodies for me - junk food, sports gear and chillies. I see other girls get diamonds and pearls, but I didn't marry him for that cos I'm not a diamond-and-pearl kinda girl.

And then there's all that laughs. Never forget - if you can laugh together even if it's just once a day - it's great. Whether it's from sharing Myanmar moments, or if it's taking jibes at each other, or simply - my favourite - playing pranks on each other (ok, ok... more me than him!) ...... just have some fun! It's easy and not time-consuming to have a bit of fun :) And you know what? Don't sweat the small stuff already. In 5 years of marriage, we've both discovered how anal we can both be about certain things. We let each other be as OCD (ok, ok... again, OCD is just me!) as we like, but we also don't go crazy it if it doesn't happen. (like someone going crazy looking for breadcrumbs in his car and couldn't find it........ LOL!) The little things count. The little things are important, well at least to me.

So you see, he may be Da Tiger, roaring ever more so loudly these days (and honestly, I have learnt when I should stay out of the way!! Except when it comes to umm... exercising in the rain or when I'm sick and I get a full-name calling and that is me pushing my luck), in his heart, I know for sure - he loves me.

To my beloved MOH, here's to a great 5 years. We've had our personal ups and downs and we've stood alongside each other throughout...... I'm still looking forward to more and I know that with you by my side, I will always have strength to fight another day. Know also that if the day's boring, I'd be planning my next prank and will continue looking forward to planning more pranks for many, many, many years to come ;) Always sleep with your eyes opened :P

Thank You for making this marriage work so easily. Thank You for loving me and letting me be and do whatever I need, whatever I want (and honestly, the full-name calling - ooooh, I'm so scared :P). Thank You for loving my less-than-presentable dinners. Thank You for being the best thing that happened in my life.

I have enjoyed every moment of our time and marriage together (except when you fart under the blanket, then you deserve a kick!) 

I LOVE YOU and always, Me and You, Just Us Two :) 

Tanaka DINKs :) 
















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