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| This was circa 2018 when we actually managed to take a full family photo |
OMG!! The past two weeks had been rather crazy for me. I can now say that I had experienced a pandemic, and in the middle of that, I had experienced a military coup while I was in Myanmar. I don't want to say too much, except that it was quite a frantic and unpleasant with our telecommunications and internet access cut-off at times. I'm not sure if 2020 was just a trailer.... Ah Porrrrr! But thankfully, we are safe and sound. Pretty sure you recollect your days during the Japanese war, the war against the communists, the 1968 racial riots and the tyranny of our fake democracy in Malaysia. You're probably scoffing at me for being frantic just cause I lost internet connection. I cannot imagine how you had gone through the Japanese occupation and all of that.
Anyway, Ah Por, tomorrow is CNY 2021 - the Year of the "Niu". Gonna be greeting everyone with Happy "Niu" Year! (I can almost hear the "aiya,.... ting nga yee!!"
But I am away from family this year, Ah Por. Stuck here in Myanmar and I've been a little sad about it. The last time I missed CNY with the family was in 1998 when I was studying in Australia. I remembered, I was also very sad that year. I called many times (on reverse call, I remember cos I had no money to pay for phone calls!!! LOLOL!!), even during the family reunion dinner. Do you remember? It was that year though that I realized how important this celebration was for me and how important family was to me. It is a celebration of our culture, of our heritage, and also a deep root of family ties and values - for which without, I would be nothing. I made it a point after that, that no matter what, I will never ever miss another CNY with the family. Even though I worked abroad and some countries (like Myanmar) do not recognize CNY as a public holiday, I still took leave to be home and I would usually stay for the week and more. When I agreed to get married and you guys told me that my CNY would now be celebrated at my husband's side, you remembered how I bawled my eyes out and threatened not to get married? 😂😂😂 Well, thankful for my understanding in-laws. I was still hoping that this year, despite the craziness the world had experienced last year, (I told you about this crazy virus, you remember?) I would be able to get my ass home. But alas! That was not to be the case 😭😭😭
So, here I am, moping around because I will miss all the family celebrations we usually do back in the kampung. We did not celebrate last year because we were in the mourning period. And this year - crazy virus period. I didn't even feel like celebrating this year. But a friend of mine told me that no matter what, we should still celebrate, it brings good "qi". And then I realized - it's true! Why should I let a pandemic stop me from being Chinese?? Right or not? I also know you wouldn't have liked that I was not going to celebrate. It'll be so pantang! LOLOL!
Let me regale you with my memories of our Lui family's CNY - although I'm sure you know very well how it was always celebrated because, I guess, most of it were your rules as the matriarch of the family! 😅😅😅
It will always be the eve of CNY, where one by one, Yee Suk (in Sabah), Ku Cher (in KL), Suk Suk and family (in KL) and my family would take that journey home to the kampung. Some would've arrived a day or two earlier. My family - we usually started the journey early, early in the morning to avoid the god forsaken traffic jam coming home. I remembered one year, it took us 11 hours sitting in traffic to get home. We were so late for the reunion dinner! On CNY eve, there's usually a myriad of activities going on - the last minute cleaning (usually Ku Cher - she never finishes cleaning somehow! LOL), the hanging of new curtains or at least cleaned ones, new cushion covers, the hanging of the decorations (I would usually be the one decorating the whole house with all your leftover ang pows LOL!) and then the big prep for the reunion dinner! When you were still mobile, you would be the MasterChef, flexing your muscles in prepping all the dishes. There must be symbolic dishes - fish "yu", prawns "har" (for the hahaha laughter throughout the year) and of cos some vegetable dishes and like 10 dozen chickens. Ok, ok. Not so many. But you always had like A LOT of chicken on the table. And then I learnt that the more dishes we had on the table during the reunion feast, symbolized the wealth of the family and at that time, as a kid, I was conflicted. How the hell were we wealthy when we lived in a run-down wooden house?? As I grew older, I realized it was just all symbolical, you know. It was just your way of making sure everyone in the house at reunion had lots to eat and it was your happiness to see everyone filling up their tummy to the brim. One bowl of rice always gets a "Why you eat so little???" And then, I also realized, the chicken drumstick dilemma - you had 6 grandchildren. One chicken would mean everyone had to fight for the drumstick. Having 3 chickens meant none of your grandchildren had to fight. We all had one each. And I still loved how you spoiled me cos you knew I wouldn't eat the white chicken skin so you always removed the skin from my chicken drumstick. In recent years though, Papa took over as MasterChef and Mama as the Sous Chef prepping this reunion dinner for the family. There's always the complain of why nobody was helping out much but it always gets done every year! 😅😅😅
Anyway, after the dinner, it'll be a massive clean up - usually I try to hide and run but it was unavoidable as a kid. Funnily enough, as I started working, I got away with doing lesser of these chores. LOLOL!! Ya, you always say "why you so lazy, you are a big-eat-lazy!!" 😅😅😅 I just dislike cleaning up of any sort, till now! Anyway, after the cleaning up, there will be that long que to use the one single bathroom in the whole house! And you remember how the stupid water supply was always cut off on the eve??? Haiyo...... you would be very irritated cos "no water" (mo sui - meaning "no money"), particularly during CNY period was so pantang! LOL! After everyone had been able to get their shower done, most would gather round the TV munching on CNY snacks. And in my younger days, of cos the kids would be playing outside, with the 'Pop-Pop' and Moon Rockets and what-nots. And then I remember also, almost every year, Samsuk would read everyone's fortune guide. Well, but sadly though, as we all grew older, everyone seemed to hide in their own corners after the reunion dinner. Though Yee Suk, Suk Suk, Samsuk and Papa would sometimes sit outside, chit-chatting and catching up over beers. Ohhh, there's also the tong yuen that needed to be made by hand. When Ernie was around, this was his task to help you. After that, it was my Mama the Sous Chef who made this. I just didn't touch it cos when I did it, I would do stupid things like rolling out a worm shape or square or whatever shape and then I'd get into trouble and be shooed out of the kitchen! LOL!!
Usually, the single men would go out partying with other friends who were also back in town (by partying, I meant they sat around in the open air and drank beer, talking-cock, singing-song, or they played mahjong or cards) and everyone else would retire to bed, except Ku Cher cos she could never finish cleaning for some reason and she would always be like "OMG it's almost 12am and I cannot clean anymore!!" But you and I, we would wait for the right hour to........ta-da!!! Welcome the God of Prosperity!!! For years, I've been the only one helping you out to prepare for the prayers for this ritual and for yearrrrsss I've been trying to remember what needed to be done and prepped and all. But I never got it right no matter what. I dunno was it because you kept changing the steps and arrangements (because you're forgetful 😝😝😝) or like you always scolded "you never pay attention and you don't put it in your heart!" I guess, every year, I simply relied on you for the instructions. Put here, put there, do this, do that. All your rules. Hahaha!
On Day 1 of CNY, I would wake up, do whatever exercises that I do and have a shower before I greet anyone. It would always be NEW everything from top to bottom - new toothbrush, new undies, new towel, new top, new shorts, new slippers, new shoes.... ALL NEW. Do you remember how one year, during my rebellious years, I came out of the room in BLACK - like fully black? Hahahahahaha! Now I'm thinking about that and laughing my ass off. I'm sure you wanted to smack me so bad, but you held your tongue. Everyone did. I was that sensitive, teenage drama girl that year. Plus it was CNY so no scolding otherwise bad luck!! LOLOL!!! Anyway, when I started working, I thought this new, new, new thing wasn't very sustainable. That's why, I started keeping new clothes and I don't wear them - even those free triathlon or marathon T-shirts I get, I'd keep them. So I am able to use one every year to have "NEW" clothes for CNY. And that is also why I have a stash of new clothes all the way till 2030!!! Bet you're shaking your head now and saying "sei ting nga yee!" 😂😂😂 Anyway, you know what happened to last year's new clothes that I wore for CNY? Nothing happened to them! We were mostly in lockdown and couldn't go anywhere so my new clothes are still pretty new!!
Anyway, Day 1 is also when I'm ready to receive my ang pows!!! Do you remember how I would scheme 2-3 extra ang pows off you? Well, I've been thinking about this - I think you just played along and entertained this ting nga yee of yours. Whatever it was, I got 3 ang pows from you every year - well, not every year. Only started when I thought you were starting to be a bit more forgetful than usual. We usually don't have guests on the first day. Just simple prayers at home and then ang pow time and a family brunch over your signature vegetarian dish - the Zai Choy - I had the privilege to learn how to cook this dish from you back in 2014 and still remember how to do it! There had only been 2 things I had direct masterclass with you to cook - Zung Zai and this Zai Choy. I never made a single Zung Zai in my life after our masterclass. I thought it was one helluva long-winded process to make!!! 😅😅😅. Anyway, back to Day 1, it would pretty much be quite quiet. Back in the day, you guys would be playing mahjong and the kids (me, Ernie and cousins) would just be up to no good somewhere, somehow. Again, as we grew older, the sort of naughty fun just gave way to reading books, which you used to tell me - "haiya! why read book on the first day of CNY!" cos book means "shu" and literally translated means "to lose", and in more recent years, our attention had gone to YouTube and Facebooking instead of chit-chatting with one another. I know you've always found that strange. You'd always say "why is your face always stuck on that phone screen only?"
Anyway, we also usually don't have guests on Day 1. I read that Chinese families don't practise visiting on Day 1 because if the first guests who showed up at your home was not of "prosperous" vibes, it would spillover into the family. LOL!! All these superstitious. It'll be like oven hot in the house as well. Then recent years, we also escaped the heat by going to the malls in the city. Better the 1 hour drive than stewing in our own sweat!! Dinner was pretty much whoever wanted to eat, they just helped themselves to the rice and zai choy. Then once again, it'll be to each, their own time. Days like these were more fun as kids. Eat, sleep, play, on repeat! Best part was - no scolding because CNY period!! 😈😈😈
Then came Day 2 !!!! It was another round of the big preparation for the Hoi Nien feast!! The morning Hoi Nien prayers, before, it would be done by you. You were doing the prayers, you were doing the feast preparations, I dunno how you did it. But you did it. As you became immobile, Mama and I took over the prayers. And once again MasterChef Papa took over the kitchen with his sidekick Sous Chef - Mama. As usual, I would stay out of the way from the kitchen otherwise the first hoi nien would happen to me. I can still remember always being scolded with "Do you want me to hoi nien for you???!!!" Day 2 was when scolding and smacking was allowed again! 😅😅😅 On Day 2, Ipoh Ku Cher would also come back with her family and that's when all 6 of us cousins would reunite annually. But what I would usually do also would be to arm-twist Yee Suk to get me my favourite Tanjung Tualang prawns. He'd always oblige no matter how difficult, he'd get them for me. Everyone says he's not reliable, but so far, all of my requests had always been met! He's just unpredictable to others, that's all. And then there was the lion dance troupe who somehow could never make it at the timing we wanted. It was just a big waiting game usually on Day 2 - wait for this person, wait for that person, wait for lion dance, wait for my prawns, and everyone would be agitated from the all the waiting - and yet, we do it year in, year out. That's called family, right? After lunch, another massive round of clean up, then it would be a flurry of activities. We'd have the usual family photos taken, then some would play mahjong, the younger kids would play cards, etc. I remembered the CNY of 2018, you and I were playing cards and somehow, I lost every round to you - I lost all the ang pows I schemed from you! Queen of Gamblers - how can I beat you! I even got off my seat and walked around the table three times and you said "No need to do all these silly things. Just lose all your money to me!!" 😆😆😆 We would also start having visitors on Day 2 - most of your side of the family would come, although don't ask me who they were - I would never be able to know which aunty was which aunty!
Usually, most families would leave on Day 2....... some would leave on Day 3..... thus leaving just me, you and Ku Cher behind mostly. Oh, and Samsuk too cos he's the dude with the car 😁😁😁 The noise and festivities would have died down and I would welcome the peace and quiet of the kampung house and its surrounding. We would have our usual routine - me taking you for brekkie and then it's just quiet days. A few days for me to just write, read, spend time with you. I always annoyed you by sitting outside late at night. You'd always say "Thief will come catch you!" and I would always have some gangsta response to your threat. OMG, I was a real handful wasn't I?? 😇😇😇 Last year, I still stayed on after everyone had left. I did the same thing - exercised (cos how can I not let the neighbours comment on "that crazy girl who runs before sunrise!"), brekkie out in town and back to the house to read and write. Only difference was, last year, I didn't have to take you out for breakfast.
This year though, I wouldn't get to do any of that. 😭😭😭
That's not all, I'll be missing all of that CNY snacks too - the kuih kapit, kai tan kuen, crabstick chips, lotus root chips, pineapple tarts. I won't even get my liver sausage. Boo.... oh well, I'll treat it as a diet then. But this sucks, Ah Por!
It's not just me, many are affected too and have to celebrate apart. I had called Yee Suk. He is stranded in Sabah. Mama and Papa are in lockdown - yeah, stay at home jail time as the situation of the crazy virus in Malaysia is really very bad. Same goes for Samsuk, Suk Suk and all. I would try to call everyone just to keep that family ties going despite not being able to celebrate together. I know you would want that. You had been the glue that bound us together when you were present. I was hoping that everyone would remember that even after you're in heaven. But what to do right? This year, it's a global pandemic. I don't even know how to say the word pandemic in Chinese.
Good thing is my husband is stuck here with me too. I don't think I would cook up a storm. We have dinner with some of our Chinese friends here who are also having to be away from family during this festive celebration. Not big, just the 4 of us - celebrating some sort of "reunion" I guess. I also managed to find some new t-shirts in my collection here - some are from 2016, but still new! Hahaha! And guess what? I even found new towels! I think Mama gave these to me in 2014! Too funny!! I have also prepared ang pows - it's good luck to give out ang pows, I know. So, it's a good thing. I shouldn't miss that! Oh oh oh! Did you know, that silly husband of mine told me - just use those cashless payment as ang pow. These days, we're all very high-tech. We no longer go to banks and we no longer pay with cash! I scolded him like hell. What nonsense! Where is the culture in that?? 🤦🤦🤦
Ah Por, hope you have a blast up there with Por Por, Kung Kung and Ah Kung. As far as I know, they don't play mahjong. So, hoping you've hooked up with some other mahjong kakis there. I know why I miss being with the family - I get to be spoilt rotten every time - I basically don't have to do any cooking, cleaning, well, ok minimal cleaning, and if I asked, I would get - be it Samsuk, Yee Suk or Ku Cher. Not to mention, Mama and Papa also fusses over me. As independent as I am, it still feels great to be doted upon like the big baby of the family.
Missing you, and the family and the whole festivities.
Till the next time, Ah Por. Don't you worry. Though it seems the world is continuing to go crazy and there seems to be a lot of stoopid people doing stoopid things around the world, I am well. I will continue to be a good person, eat well, work hard and be happy. But you guys in heaven please keep an eye on us too, ok? Protect us!!
Your beloved Ting Nga Yee.
