Today, I Fed A Street Kid

Today is Diwali, or at least I think it is. Or was it yesterday? In any case, not that we celebrate the Festival of Lights, but MoH who is a lover of Indian food wanted to have a "Diwali Feast" in celebration. So, for brunch, we headed to Maharajah (which was actually the second choice since Annam was not opened yet at 10am).

While we were placing our orders of Thali sets and Chapatis, a young Cambodian boy came in begging and repeated the word "ngiam" (eat). I stared at him. He wore a dirty oversized T-shirt and his pants were two sizes too small. He was coughing and sniffling. But he had a silver pendant of a Cross and also one of those army dog-tags.

I tried to ignore him, telling myself that if he can afford to wear silver pendants and the likes, he should be alright. But it was quite hard considering he was standing right next to me. Finally, I relented. I asked him what would he like to eat. He said he wanted "bai char" (fried rice). So I ordered a "bai char muon" (chicken fried rice) for him.

When our food came, and it was too much, I felt extremely guilty. Of course, usually when we are not able to finish food we ordered, we pack them home to be eaten as leftovers. But somehow, with the little Cambodian boy sitting on the next table staring at us, I felt extremely guilty. This then grew into a bit of anger-cum-frustration. I am not rich. I don't waste food. Why should I be feeling guilty about enjoying an Indian breakfast brunch?

The Cambodian boy however, oblivious to what was going on inside my head ate his fried rice in glee. The smile that he offered as he ate was warm. Kinda felt like my "Chewing Gum Boy" short-story all over again. Yet, there was an anger inside me brewing. I was angry that in this day and time, there are still hungry people out there. That there are still the poor and the homeless scrounging for a decent meal. Why? Why? Why? Why aren't the people with the big cahoonas Lexus or Hummer doing more about it? I am after all, only riding pillion on MoH's sorry-state of a Daelim "moto". I wanted so much for poverty and hunger to end right at that very moment.

Today, I fed a street kid. He smiled at me and said Thank You, in English. I do not know his name. He had moved on to the next person who will feed him. And I moved on to do groceries shopping.

Did I make a difference?

Dinner with Cambodia's Chef Extravaganza

I had dinner last night with Chef Luu Meng. Whilst I had known Luu Meng for over a year, it wasn't till last night that I sat down to dine with him. And it was such an enjoyable dinner for me.

Of course, it was in essence to discuss business (we're engaging Luu Meng to cook up a storm for a charity event for the Red Cross) but of course, it being dinner and all, we got to talking about his life as a chef. Not that I was interviewing him or anything like that, I just found his story and the food well-worth writing about.

All the while that I have known Luu Meng, he always appeared to be a very humble and down-to-earth guy - one of the nicest Cambodians that I have had the pleasure of meeting. Even though his schedule is outrageously tight (what with him being Cambodia's ambassador for their Khmer cuisine, President of the Cambodian Hotel Association, Chef for a few restaurants in town and managing a few other hotels in Phnom Penh), he never declines you. He may be late, but he never turns you down.

We had dinner at one of the finest restaurant for Cambodian cuisine - Malis - which, appropriately, is owned by Luu Meng. Malis happens to also be one of my favourite restaurants in town - however, I wouldn't be considered one of the "quality" clients since my bill never exceeds USD30 each time! The quality clients, I heard, chalk up tabs amounting to USD600 - USD1,000 per table!

Anyway, the ordering of the menu was left in the good hands of the Chef himself. We started with Scallops and Cucumber salad and Sach Krark (Grilled Pork Sausage) with pickled vegetables. I felt all out of sorts that Luu Meng was serving me the food! Then we had the Khmer Soup with Smoked Fish and Bamboo Shoot and for mains, we had a taster menu of the Prahok Ktis (my favourite - fermented fish paste with minced pork), Fish Amok and Stir-Fried Eggplant with Garlic and Fish Sauce (another favourite) with bai sor (steamed white rice). For dessert, I had this absolute-haven of a pudding - Luu Meng told me it was an infusion of honey, ginger, milk and jasmine flower. Yes! Jasmine flower! The smell, the taste - I just cannot describe it! I had always loved the smell of jasmine flower, but to be tasting it too, was too good. In my excitement, I asked Luu Meng if I could throw in a few buds the next time I make dessert on my own. His response? - He laughed. The answer was no. It would be extremely bitter. To extract the taste from the jasmine flower, there's a long process of double-boiling it and creating and matching the right balance with ginger. It sounds all too complicated for me and my "easy-cooking" style.

I would have loved, loved, loved to take photos of the food that I was enjoying last night. But I was a little embarassed to whip out my camera in front of the Chef himself. Well, I could always go back again on my own to take them photos :)

Whilst Luu Meng is now in a position of over-seeing his business empire, he told me that he still loves cooking very much and once a month, he will still take his team out - to the markets, to discover new ingredients, to experiment new dishes and he will work in the kitchen with them and develop new menus. The market visits sometimes takes them as far as the farms over in Vietnam.

His love for cooking was the reason why he stopped working with the hotels, citing that Executive Chefs in the big hotels are more "paper chefs" these days. He still loves feeling, smelling and tasting the ingredients. Out of all the chains of hotels he has worked with (he named a few, now I don't remember all, but Sofitel stood out and also the fact that he had worked in Malaysia in JB too! - which explains why he is familiar with our "cencalok") it was his last posting in Siem Reap which he found most satisfying as he got to learn from a Michelin Star Chef. One of his tale recalled him being woken up at 3am in the morning by the Chef because he dreamt of a recipe that they must, must, must try out. So there they were, at 3am in the morning, experimenting in the kitchen.

He told me that he actually started out studying Hotel Management, but he heard the F&B students constantly being yelled at by the Chef and he found that very exciting (ok, go figure) and very soon, he switched his majors. He told me it was hard work. Extremely hard work. So when I asked him why he preservered, his answer was so simple, yet so spot-on. He said "there can be ten waitresses or waiters, but there can only be ONE chef." Bravo to that, Luu Meng!

I was also very shocked to learn that he's only 36 years old! Married, with two kids. Maybe the years of hard work had really aged him or it was just the way he carried himself - he had always seemed like "Uncle Luu Meng" to me (so glad I did not tell him that!!). Still, I really like him. The fact that he has achieved so much yet he has no airs about him. That is hard to find these days.

As I very nearly considered licking my dessert platter clean (which I didn't!) and finished the last of my Green Mango Shake, I sheepishly asked if I could take a photo with him and of him. As he always does - he obliged :)

Here's toasting Luu Meng and his passion for cooking!








Luu Meng and I :)

The Crazy Traffic of Cambodia

Vehicle over-taking in appropriately...

I've been driving in Cambodia for a year now and everyday, it seems to get worse for me. Whilst vehicle operators in this country seem to be rather abnormally patient, I still believe there is that tendency to develop road-rage amongst all of them.

When I first started driving, I started with extremely mild-mannered cussing (e.g. "you idiot!" / "that's dangerous, you moron") everytime some hell-riders decide to try something plain idiotic on the roads of Phnom Penh. This has escalated to extreme cussing that is probably in appropriate to publish anywhere! From my house to the office, a short 1km drive, I cuss at a minimum of 15 other road users before I reach my destination. What a way to start the morning everyday!! I think it is very bad karma to wish death upon people every morning!!

What I don't get really is the non-existent common-sense amongst the Cambodian road users. Are they so idiotic or do they just merely have that "devil-may-care" "life-is-cheap" attitude?

• They would ignore the red light. YOU are expected to watch-out for them.
• They would squeeze into any space - even if it was only an inch wide. YOU are expected to avoid them.
• They would turn out of junctions without stopping. YOU on the straight road is supposed to make sure you don't ram into them.
• They would overtake a vehicle from the opposite side of the road even if they see you approaching. YOU are supposed to jam your breaks for them.
• They would ride their motorbikes 5-abreasts and chit-chat as if on a stroll. YOU are expected to drive at 10miles/hour behind them.
• They would stop right in the middle of the road without any warning. YOU are expected to wait or go around them.
• They would ride 5 to a motorbike and weave in and out of traffic. YOU are expected to keep their lives safe.

This list could go on forever.

But I think it is only in Cambodia that you have all types of different vehicles on the road. 4WDs for the triad members and the "oknhas" (Cambodia's version of Datuks and Datins), the normal sedans, the Kancil-lookalikes, and then you have the motorbikes, cyclos, tuk-tuks, the "ramuks" (motorbike carrying a long 2-wheeled platform to carry things as large as a house on it!), the 2-wheeled push carts, the motorbike with the side car, and of course, you also have the trucks and lorries (mostly ferrying a hundred sardine-packed people on it) and the inter-province buses. It's your bad luck if you happen to be stuck behind the vendor with the push cart, pushing his or her way in the already crazy traffic of Cambodia.

Yes, they do have the traffic rules (wear helmets, motorbikes not allowed to carry heavy items, etc). But the main problem is really the implementation. The corrupted traffic police isn't exactly a respected position in Cambodia. They are often fat, lazy and loves wielding their authority upon the poor citizens of this nation. It doesn't help either that the VVIPs seem to be exempted from any traffic rules!

The saddest part is the result of the mix of corrupted law enforcers and the no-common-sense Cambodian road users. It often ends up with serious injuries or death. Call me hardened, but I have reached a point where I don't feel sorry for any of them who meets with a k'rooh t'nak here. If you add the mix in again - they actually deserve it. I mean, if you zoom out of a junction without looking and you end up in the morgue - whose fault is it really?

Accidents = Zero Common Sense + Corrupted Police

And only in Cambodia does Article 2.4 of the Traffic Law says "All Vehicles On The Road Must Have Driver". I am assuming there is a car a la Knight Rider hiding around the corner somewhere.

Nudes

For our wedding, we even took some erotic nude portraits..... and we've been extremely pleased with the results.......

My Wedding

When you mention a wedding planner getting married, it is an immediate response to conjure up images of Vogue-inspired gowns, perfectly manicured decor and settings, picture-perfect ambience and a prim and proper guest list.
Having been in the wedding business for seven years plus now, I did not want any of those. I wanted a fuss-free wedding. But I think more than that, both the groom and I wanted something that reflected us – our love, our personalities, including the fact that we were not perfect.

Being a great advocator of destination weddings, we decided to have the wedding in Bali. Bali was something that came naturally to the both of us – simply because this was where we first fell in love, so it felt like we had come full circle. We were both “beach bums” and an island/beach wedding suited us perfectly – no frills, no fuss – come in your bikinis and sarongs, hula shirts and all. This was us!

Throughout the wedding planning months before the wedding, I was particularly worried about being a “bridezilla” myself, having handled a fair few. I realised that my want for simplicity was clashing tremendously with the excitement of my friends from the same business! I didn’t want hair and make-up, I didn’t want flowers, I didn’t even want a wedding gown.... I was driving all of them nuts. I was becoming a “bridezilla”!

Even the team at Kayumanis was a little baffled when I said I didn’t want flowers. Whilst I would usually be very aware of how the cake looks and taste for my clients, for my own wedding, I told the pastry chef to “surprise me” – which he did indeed. Pleasantly, though. You see, it really was different when you’re handling someone else’s once-in-a-lifetime compared to when you’re handling yours.

For my own wedding, I didn’t care so much about it being perfect. I wanted it more to reflect our personalities, and our love. We didn’t care about flowers because throughout the years we’ve been together, my other half had never bought flowers for me because I am not a flower person! But we did care about the song we chose for our walk-in and walk-out, we cared about using some of the paraphernalia from our courtship in the wedding and we did care about our wedding favours helping a poor Cambodian family survive better.

However, being in the wedding industry and with so many good friends in the industry, my dream of walking down the aisle with just a white bikini and sarong was just me being dreamy and idealistic. I remembered my gown designer saying “I’ll slap you!” when I requested for a simple sarong wrap. I also remembered my hair & make-up artist who also wanted to “slap” me because I went and cut my hair short a few months before the wedding (this was the point where I was called “bridezilla”, I think!) and of course, I remembered my Mom fretting at the fact that I was walking in with “two bunches of bananas” (empty handed).

But in the end, with enough emotional blackmail from my beloved Mom & Dad (and I mean this sincerely), and the numerous “Ho sim la! You are a wedding planner la! You don’t jaga your reputation, we also must jaga ours!” propagandas, I had my hair done, I had very light make-up on (which surprised everyone when I sat like a meek angel and let them do my hair and face) and I even walked down the aisle with a few stalks of maroon calla lilies. I felt every inch like a bride.

But I really think my other half had to be saluted. He took the reigns of planning the wedding because he didn’t want me to feel as if it was ‘work’ – to plan my own wedding. He made most of the decisions (only most, not all.J) whilst I was busy with my other businesses. Having the both of us based in Cambodia meant a lot of co-ordination between Cambodia, Bali and KL. When people ask me who was my wedding planner, without hesitation I would answer that it would be my other half. Having said that, we are very thankful for the help we got from our friends in the industry. Honestly, here is where I would recommend wedding planners to anybody – including wedding planners themselves.

The other thing we both were particular about was the wedding photography because those lasted a lifetime. We requested for the photographers to take casual shots of us in our “pak toh” mode along the streets of Kuta. The fun part was that – they were to behave like the paparazzi! Believe me, a lot of people thought we were some sort of celebrity when we started our photo session. It was fun and it was all part of the wedding experience we wanted.

When the moment for the wedding came – I was anxious. I did not want to make the same mistakes that I had seen a million of my clients do – they forget to bask in the moment. I was particularly conscious of reminding myself that I want to remember the moment when I walked down the aisle with my Dad and the feeling I was in. I didn’t want the feeling of just getting it over and done with. And this was the highlight of my wedding.

I remembered walking in to the chorus of “High” by Lighthouse Family, our chosen song. For me, the chorus was perfection. It was a message we told ourselves in our relationship – as long as we are together, we will overcome any obstacles there are in our path. I made it a point to pay attention to the vows which we wrote ourselves (which we later got tattooed on each other by our personal Bali tattooist) and I had butterflies in my tummy! I’ve always had butterflies in my tummy when my clients walked down the aisle as I hold my breath and pray everything goes smoothly for them in their once-in-a-lifetime moment and I didn’t think I would get them for my own wedding. But there they were! I was blinking back tears as my husband-to-be read his very long vows (which made some of our guests cry).

We had a small reception of sixty close friends and family. Even with the small number, we felt it was difficult to spend enough time with all of our guests. Whilst some of them travelled from Cambodia, a whole lot more were guests whom we had not met for over a year since we were both based out of the country. Time spent with each one of them was too short. But their presence and blessings at our wedding made it a perfect memory.

All in all, as a wedding planner, this was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever witnessed – not just because I was the bride, but because the one thing that really stood out from it was that there was a lot, a lot, a lot of laughter. From the surprise video presentation (courtesy of the “gang” from the wedding industry) to the lap dance from the groom to the funny anecdotes in our vows and all the speeches and to me, this was how a wedding should be. There were two power trips (I counted and noted because I could not help it – I notice these things!!) but hey, that small bit of imperfection could not overshadow what I really, really felt was a perfect wedding – at least to the both of us.
Love in fish-eye view...

With this wedding, I’ve come away believing that whilst grandeur, beauty and perfect planning accentuates a wedding celebration, it cannot replace the love and support from your close friends and family, the feel-good vibe that they sincerely vibrate at your wedding – including shedding a tear or two for you, and the fun and laughter that they provide to make your wedding a truly memorable one. For that, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank each and every one of our friends and family who travelled all the way to Bali and making it such a wonderfully memorable wedding for the both of us.

Been Awhile....

I only just noticed that my last post before today was December 2008. It had been awhile indeed. I never knew people (by people, I mean the one or two friends I have :P) actually check-in on my blog to see if I have anymore updates. Until one of them told me today that I haven't updated my blog.

It's not that I don't have anything to say. I have plenty to say. All these words in my head, all the thoughts in my mind.... but I lack the time to craft a piece worthy enough of blog attention. (So, basically, I'm ranting on here just because I can.... and I feel / felt guilty about leaving things hanging since December '08..... now that it's been pointed out to me).....

What's been happening? Long story short - I've launched a new business in Cambodia and working my ass off on it....... (you will understand when you read my earlier posting on Cheap & Good).... trying to adjust to Cambodia (still! eventhough 15th July would mark my first year anniversary of returning to Cambodia for my second "tour")..... going to launch another company here in Khmer land...... also working my ass off on that one (why does everything require me to work my ass off???) .... lost my compassion for humanitarian work and regained it after my dearest pop idol Gone Too Soon....... (and it's been a bit ... sad - more on that below).... so, have taken my first tiny step in trying to start a "youth centre"........ empowering the youth of Cambodia to do something about their lives..... not to mention, i have a wedding around the corner and I don't exactly feel like a bride - I'm not sure whether it is because I've always viewed it with much nonchalance or I've just been too busy and overwhelmed with work to get into the whole mode of it.... or what? really, I don't know. I know that I felt a bit ..... "what the hell??!" when my fitting lasted all of 5 minutes and none of my girlfriends were with me to give the designer hell (Kris - i love you and you're the best)...

Speaking of Michael Jackson - I've always been a great fan.... and I remember how when I first watched Beat It (the video which started my idolization of MJ)...... my brother and I would imitate his every move, down to the ankle-length pants and one-hand glove..... it was crazy! We even managed to get hold of step-by-step instructions on how to do the moonwalk....... MJ was awesome and we continued to grow up listening to his music, watching his performances / video...... I was upset when my parents didn't allow me to go for the MJ HIStory concert back in 1996..... damn... I will never get another chance now...... the thing was.... we grew up knowing the black MJ and the white MJ....... while I could never understand his eccentricities, at the same time, I do understand that somebody who can't even walk into Starbucks to get his own coffee cannot possibly lead a normal life. What I do know is that a lot of MJ's work had inspired me - even from a young age - to "lend a helping hand"............. When I first heard news of his passing, I was shocked and just didn't want to believe it...... but after facing the reality of it and accepting it..... I reminisced all the great videos, songs, concerts that had been in my collection.... and watching Man In The Mirror again re-inspired me to really do something - which propelled me to take that tiny step toward my youth centre. Big dreams indeed.... but..... porportionate work needed. I shall hold fast to my determination to make it materialise.

Before I end my hurried entry - I hope MJ may RIP now that he has found it. I wish the media would stop hounding him and stop reporting on his family, the custody / will battles, his children, his autopsy.... he's GONE. Leave him be. We need to celebrate his life and remember the good times his work had given us. The laughs that we had when we all tried to moonwalk like him. For me - long before he passed on - my other half would always do a poor imitation of Michael to make me laugh when he had just made me angry. And it never fails. MJ - thank you for the good times.

I don't know how this entry came to be paying tribute to MJ - but that's how it is when you're ranting. Your music lives forever in our hearts. And "I'm starting with the (wo)man in the mirror". Peace.

Cheap & Good?

I think taking into account the global financial situation we are currently facing, companies have had to take another dive into their budgets and fish harder for ways and means to make monies stretch. Heads are being chopped left, right and centre.

But really - at what expense?

I am no economist. Surely nothing from any Harvard-linked education system either. But 18 years in the A&P industry certainly counts for some 5 cents from me.

From this side of the wall, I feel that quality has taken a dive. Everyone down-the-line has been pushed to deliver the same quality but at a lower cost. Naturally - what happens? Suppliers who used to do something at the cost of USD3 per pc has now got to deliver the same damn quality at USD1.50 and at half the speed or even the same speed. Can they then sustain their own business?

They do have 2 options - lower the quality to match that of USD1.50 so as to sustain their business. Or else, match the ridiculous demands of the clients - and watch as profits fizzle and the business is driven down the drain. Unfortunately, the smaller businesses who are unable to sustain the increase of cost and the decrease of profit will undoubtedly - fire more staff, close more production lines, etc... you get the picture. The situation worsens.

I had the 'good luck' of meeting a relatively new, but big client last week. And he wanted our quality Brand Activators - but at the cost of what he is currently paying "freelancers". First of all - I wonder if he or his marketing team spends 4 hours a week, training their "freelancers" on the basic concepts of marketing, advertising, presentation skills, brand activation ideas, branding, brand personality, etc, etc, etc. Err - I don't think so. (you see, it is all not in the budget! They are trying to trim the fats, remember?)

So, that's what I tried to explain to them. I am very proud of the 300+ kids that I am working with. They are learning and absorbing everything like a sponge. They turn up like clockwork at the training sessions come rain, shine or snow. Sure, they may not be as fast as I am hoping them to be, but most importantly - they have heart. They have heart to make it different for themselves. It is my investment into them - to make them better, to ensure that they have demanding power in the future when it comes to wages. Quoting them anything lower or similar to an "untrainned" freelancer would be doing them an injustice.

The client's response to my explanation on training, time investment, etc... was "This is Cambodia, this is not New York, or Italy where everything is expensive!" ..... This certainly started getting me prickling hot. He is right - we are in Cambodia. So, he (or rather, his grand big company) brought in a 'mass product' for the country - needs to sell it to the Cambodians. In other words, he needs to make money out of these Cambodians (who are not New Yorkers, nor Italians). What's the word most appropriate to use here? You tell me.

If we forever think of "this is Cambodia! Everything is cheap!" - then when will these 'poor' people of Cambodia ever move ahead in their lives? When my Brand Activators signed up with me, I promised them that if they worked hard, they'll definitely make something for themselves. Aside from giving these kids knowledge, I am giving them self-confidence and pride. Pride in knowing they are worth more as long as they work hard for it (here - I can only speak for the kids I work with, nothing beyond that). But it is clients like what I mentioned above that is driving everybody - including the economy down.

If clients are likening my Brand Activators to the "cheap freelancers" that they use, they are not respecting us, our work and also themselves. Let's put it this way - my Brand Activators do not steal forty winks at the event booth in the middle of the day when the crowd disappears (trust me, I even have photos of these "cheap freelancers" sleeping on the job - which I use as example when I train my Brand Activators). My Brand Activators are motivated to do the job well, with passion, with pride and most of all, enjoy doing it. Proof enough is when I have kids now walking into the office asking to be part of the team simply due to what they see us doing outside for clients. I have Brand Activators requesting to work for free - simply because they were not selected for a certain project and they still want to be part of the work group. Need I say more? Ahh.... the popular phrase of "you pay peanuts, you get monkeys" come to mind.

I had a discussion with some friends from the same industry. We were talking about the CHEAP-GOOD-FAST triangle. If you want it Cheap & Good, it is never Fast. If you want it Good and Fast, it is never Cheap. If you want it Cheap and Fast, it is never Good. Such a simple concept. Unfortunately - not practised widely enough and everyone points their fingers to the global economic situation.

At the end of the day - whatever the global economic situation is - you don't walk into the Four Seasons and tell them you want them to match Bright Lotus Guesthouse prices. Neither do you walk into Vera Wang and demand they give you Chinatown price, right? (you can be sure to get a "Vera Wang lookalike at Chinatown with the label Vela Wang on it too!") It isn't rocket science that you simply don't. If you are willing to wear a Vela Wang - you pay for a Vela Wang. If you want the original Vera, you pay for the original Vera! Such a simple concept!

Sure - you have to trim the fats - even for us - we trim the fats off too! Those who are not making the mark will get the boot. We are keeping a close tab on costs. But I refuse, simply refuse to trim my quality. But I think we have to be aware that you can't pat yourself on the back simply because you got for your company - a cheaper deal. Ask - at what expense? You saved your sorry ass, sure. But at whose expense? And then you continue with "This is Cambodia!" or "This is the financial crisis! You need to cut down on your price!" .... Enough with the excuses!

Quoting the dearly departed MJ - "if you want to make the world, a better place, take a look at yourself, and MAKE A CHANGE".