When you mention a wedding planner getting married, it is an immediate response to conjure up images of Vogue-inspired gowns, perfectly manicured decor and settings, picture-perfect ambience and a prim and proper guest list.
Having been in the wedding business for seven years plus now, I did not want any of those. I wanted a fuss-free wedding. But I think more than that, both the groom and I wanted something that reflected us – our love, our personalities, including the fact that we were not perfect.
Being a great advocator of destination weddings, we decided to have the wedding in Bali. Bali was something that came naturally to the both of us – simply because this was where we first fell in love, so it felt like we had come full circle. We were both “beach bums” and an island/beach wedding suited us perfectly – no frills, no fuss – come in your bikinis and sarongs, hula shirts and all. This was us!
Throughout the wedding planning months before the wedding, I was particularly worried about being a “bridezilla” myself, having handled a fair few. I realised that my want for simplicity was clashing tremendously with the excitement of my friends from the same business! I didn’t want hair and make-up, I didn’t want flowers, I didn’t even want a wedding gown.... I was driving all of them nuts. I was becoming a “bridezilla”!
Even the team at Kayumanis was a little baffled when I said I didn’t want flowers. Whilst I would usually be very aware of how the cake looks and taste for my clients, for my own wedding, I told the pastry chef to “surprise me” – which he did indeed. Pleasantly, though. You see, it really was different when you’re handling someone else’s once-in-a-lifetime compared to when you’re handling yours.
For my own wedding, I didn’t care so much about it being perfect. I wanted it more to reflect our personalities, and our love. We didn’t care about flowers because throughout the years we’ve been together, my
other half had never bought flowers for me because I am not a flower person! But we did care about the song we chose for our walk-in and walk-out, we cared about using some of the paraphernalia from our courtship in the wedding and we did care about our wedding favours helping a poor Cambodian family survive better.
However, being in the wedding industry and with so many good friends in the industry, my dream of walking down the aisle with just a white bikini and sarong was just me being dreamy and idealistic. I remembered my gown designer saying “I’ll slap you!” when I requested for a simple sarong wrap. I also remembered my hair & make-up artist who also wanted to “slap” me because I went and cut my hair short a few months before the wedding (this was the point where I was called “bridezilla”, I think!) and of course, I remembered my Mom fretting at the fact that I was walking in with “two bunches of bananas” (empty handed).
But in the end, with enough emotional blackmail from my beloved Mom & Dad (and I mean this sincerely), and the numerous “Ho sim la! You are a wedding planner la! You don’t jaga your reputation, we also must jaga ours!” propagandas, I had my hair done, I had very light make-up on (which surprised everyone when I sat like a meek angel and let them do my hair and face) and I even walked down the aisle with a few stalks of maroon calla lilies. I felt every inch like a bride.
But I really think my other half had to be saluted. He took the reigns of planning the wedding because he didn’t want me to feel as if it was ‘work’ – to plan my own wedding. He made most of the decisions (only most, not all.J) whilst I was busy with my other businesses. Having the both of us based in Cambodia meant a lot of co-ordination between Cambodia, Bali and KL. When people ask me who was my wedding planner, without hesitation I would answer that it would be my other half. Having said that, we are very thankful for the help we got from our friends in the industry. Honestly, here is where I would recommend wedding planners to anybody – including wedding planners themselves.
The other thing we both were particular about was the wedding photography because those lasted a lifetime. We requested for the photographers to take casual shots of us in our “pak toh” mode along the streets of Kuta. The fun part was that – they were to behave like the paparazzi! Believe me, a lot of people thought we were some sort of celebrity when we started our photo session. It was fun and it was all part of the wedding experience we wanted.
When the moment for the wedding came – I was anxious. I did not want to make the same mistakes that I had seen a million of my clients do – they forget to bask in the moment. I was particularly conscious of reminding myself that I want to remember the moment when I walked down the aisle with my Dad and the feeling I was in. I didn’t want the feeling of just getting it over and done with. And this was the highlight of my wedding.
I remembered walking in to the chorus of “High” by Lighthouse Family, our chosen song. For me, the chorus was perfection. It was a message we told ourselves in our relationship – as long as we are together, we will overcome any obstacles there are in our path. I made it a point to pay attention to the vows which we wrote ourselves (which we later got tattooed on each other by our personal Bali tattooist) and I had butterflies in my tummy! I’ve always had butterflies
in my tummy when my clients walked down the aisle as I hold my breath and pray everything goes smoothly for them in their once-in-a-lifetime moment and I didn’t think I would get them for my own wedding. But there they were! I was blinking back tears as my husband-to-be read his very long vows (which made some of our guests cry).
We had a small reception of sixty close friends and family. Even with the small number, we felt it was difficult to spend enough time with all of our guests. Whilst some of them travelled from Cambodia, a whole lot more were guests whom we had not met for over a year since we were both based out of the country. Time spent with each one of them was too short. But their presence and blessings at our wedding made it a perfect memory.
All in all, as a wedding planner, this was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever witnessed – not just because I was the bride, but because the one thing that really stood out from it was that there was a lot, a lot, a lot of laughter. From the surprise video presentation (courtesy of the “gang” from the wedding industry) to the lap dance from the groom to the funny anecdotes in our vows and all the speeches and to me, this was how a wedding should be. There were two power trips (I counted and noted because I could not help it – I notice these things!!) but hey, that small bit of imperfection could not overshadow what I really, really felt was a perfect wedding – at least to the both of us.
Love in fish-eye view... With this wedding, I’ve come away believing that whilst grandeur, beauty and perfect planning accentuates a wedding celebration, it cannot replace the love and support from your close friends and family, the feel-good vibe that they sincerely vibrate at your wedding – including shedding a tear or two for you, and the fun and laughter that they provide to make your wedding a truly memorable one. For that, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank each and every one of our friends and family who travelled all the way to Bali and making it such a wonderfully memorable wedding for the both of us.
