The Young & The Naked - Slammed

One of our Nude Portraits by
Yeh Poh Chung

Wow.. what a debate there is, eh? On the 2nd of January 2011, New Sunday Times published a story on nude photography and yours truly was featured in it here. Of course, a week later, it was time for slamming the press for being irresponsible, etc, etc.

As with every issues, sensitive or otherwise, in this whole wide world, everyone has their own opinion and they are entitled to it. Of course, that does not mean you are judge and jury. You just have an opinion, period. And as such - so do I.

I read some of the "hate-mails" with much jest. Some of their remarks were honestly, quite funny. Yea, sure, they had their own opinion but as I said - so do I. It is so easy to pass judgement and passionately voice how morally supreme they are (and by they - I meant those who had written their letters to the editor).

There was one who said, and I quote, "Their children will learn of their values and expose their bodies, too. Don't blame them should they pose for Playboy." OMG. Are you insinuating that my parents did a very bad job raising me? That was uncalled for and way below the belt. You don't even know me, nor my parents! Hang on, hang on. Does it also mean that by choosing to do wedding nudes, my husband and I will eventually decide to do a career make-over and go into modeling for porn magazine instead? Gee, I wonder how much our buttocks would actually fetch!

And then, she continued with : "And how can husbands allow the bodies of their wives to be seen in the nude by other men, even if it's the photographer? If this is the case, the wife must allow her husband to view other women's bodies, too. They shouldn't get jealous if their husbands lust after another woman's body." First of all, you don't know me, you don't know my husband, and you certainly don't seem to be acquainted with the photographer either. Just as a piece of information - Yeh Poh Chung's assistant in the same room with us was his wife. And here's another piece of information - my husband is welcomed to drool over another woman's body. How we lead our lives and what sort of understanding we have as a couple in a relationship has nothing to do with anyone else. But that's my opinion. You're welcomed to condemn me. But again - you don't know me. Just as I don't know you - from the way you said it - it sounded as though you had never ever seen another naked body, not even on screen. But see - that is me, passing judgement.

Another guy wrote to say this : "If such exhibitionism is allowed to flourish, then what's to stop married couples from making blue films and disseminating them to the public?" This got me laughing. Like, honestly laughing. I can so picture hubby now burning copies of DVDs for sale in the black market just so we can earn additional income to sustain our Woodstock lifestyle. Is this guy for real or what? This is the same as saying that a girl got raped because she was wearing a mini-skirt! Oh, I will not stand for that, I tell you. I was NEVER brought up to stand for these types of nonsense - by my parents and my family alike. I am of the opinion that you respect each other's bodies, whether they are naked or fully-clothed. Period. You can have your fantasies, but it stays there. That is called respect. Can we be a bit real for a moment? People fantasize, don't they? Unless they're not normal.

This guy went as far as to bring religion into the picture. OMG. I think we have enough religion and race-play in the political arena as it is. And then he said (or could've been a "she", how should I know?) - "Don't adulterate morality in the name of art." With all due respect, Sir - nudity as an art form is far from what is immoral in today's society.

Immoral are the rich who steal from the poor. Immoral are those who preach to others to do moral things, but abuse underaged children behind closed-doors. Immoral are those who push drugs on the street. Immoral are those who condone to child-trafficking. Immoral are those who fight to legalize child-marriage. Immoral are those who are corrupted through and through in broad daylight. Immoral are those who take another human life. Immoral are those who scream for high morality when in fact, they do little, if at all anything, to help society in better ways. But then again, hey, I don't know these people and what compelled them to do the immoral stuff they do. I am not judge or jury. Only the powers up there will do so.

Last I checked - no animal was harmed in the course of our nude photo session. No human blood was shed in the course of our nude photo session. No drugs or alcohol was consumed in the course of our nude photo session. No child was harmed in the course of our nude photo session. So best you put your "moral preachings" into better avenues.

I stand by the fact that my husband and I have no regrets taking this plunge and doing what WE BOTH felt was meaningful for OUR relationship (nothing to do with anyone else). I stand by the fact that there will always be those who would like it and there will be those who would hate it. But if you do not know me, your judgemental statements  are a truer laughing stock than my nude collection.

And lastly, I stand by my photographer, Yeh Poh Chung. I trust him 100%. Because I know him. You don't.

Exhibitionist

When MOH and I took our wedding nudes as part of our wedding portraitures last year, we ended up with a collection of photos that we utterly loved, loved, loved. Of course, the photography process was not as simple as it seemed. Firstly, one needed to get rid of the awkward-ness of being stark naked in front of ... the photographer and his team as well as any body hang-ups that you may have. And then, you needed to get a little creative with the poses. Lastly - the tricky part - you needed to HOLD the poses while the photographer tries different lighting and angles to achieve perfection. Believe me, after a 3-hour session, you will find muscles you never knew you had quivering.

So when Yeh, our photographer asked for permission to exhibit some of our photos (of course, most are still kept under lock & key) at his first solo exhibition - we said Yes. I mean, after all, the ones which were rated "U" were already on FB. Ahhh.... but we certainly did not expect Yeh to have chosen some of our butt-shots for his exhibition! And definitely did not expect there to be a price tag on the photo!

The exhibition which was opened just last Saturday on the 6th November 2010 at Small Talk With The Moon was jointly organized by my partners at Nupts & Such and endorsed by AWP Malaysia. Canon also came in with a show of support by sponsoring the event. Being all the way in Cambodia, I was skyped in - because I wanted to see WHAT was on display. MOH & I had a right good laugh when we found out our buttocks were on sale for RM2,500. Who would purchase a photo of somebody else's butt? Hmmm....

Nevertheless, the opening of Yeh's first solo exhibition went about successfully and he had talk sessions on wedding nudes, creativity in photography styles and it even evolved to the more technical topics like lightings, angles, equipments and technology.

For me, while only on Skype, it was still nice seeing our nudes showcased in a little exhibition (Yeh - next time, do a bigger show, ok?) and seeing them used as part of Yeh's learning / skill-sharing session - in other words - case study :P Talk about being an exhibitionist eh!

Believe me, we are all exhibitionist in one way or another. We all want the world to see us in our most delightful angles or profiles. We want the world to acknowledge that something or some part of us look good. But the world also expects us to be modest about it. "Oh, no... my legs are too skinny..." when in actual fact - all you want to do is jump up and down at the compliment. After all - we do care and love ourselves enough to present the best of ourselves for the world to see.

So go on and tell yourself right now - You're Fucking Beautiful.
I know I will. Just that - I don't think it's time to trade my current career with modeling at the mo'.

** Photography of Wedding Nudes by Yeh Poh Chung
** BELOW : Yeh's "Nude Case Study of us - Screen Captured from Skype :)

** Further reading on A Journey To Forever in Lyrical Poses and Tantric Artistry - click HERE

 

Nudes

For our wedding, we even took some erotic nude portraits..... and we've been extremely pleased with the results.......

My Wedding

When you mention a wedding planner getting married, it is an immediate response to conjure up images of Vogue-inspired gowns, perfectly manicured decor and settings, picture-perfect ambience and a prim and proper guest list.
Having been in the wedding business for seven years plus now, I did not want any of those. I wanted a fuss-free wedding. But I think more than that, both the groom and I wanted something that reflected us – our love, our personalities, including the fact that we were not perfect.

Being a great advocator of destination weddings, we decided to have the wedding in Bali. Bali was something that came naturally to the both of us – simply because this was where we first fell in love, so it felt like we had come full circle. We were both “beach bums” and an island/beach wedding suited us perfectly – no frills, no fuss – come in your bikinis and sarongs, hula shirts and all. This was us!

Throughout the wedding planning months before the wedding, I was particularly worried about being a “bridezilla” myself, having handled a fair few. I realised that my want for simplicity was clashing tremendously with the excitement of my friends from the same business! I didn’t want hair and make-up, I didn’t want flowers, I didn’t even want a wedding gown.... I was driving all of them nuts. I was becoming a “bridezilla”!

Even the team at Kayumanis was a little baffled when I said I didn’t want flowers. Whilst I would usually be very aware of how the cake looks and taste for my clients, for my own wedding, I told the pastry chef to “surprise me” – which he did indeed. Pleasantly, though. You see, it really was different when you’re handling someone else’s once-in-a-lifetime compared to when you’re handling yours.

For my own wedding, I didn’t care so much about it being perfect. I wanted it more to reflect our personalities, and our love. We didn’t care about flowers because throughout the years we’ve been together, my other half had never bought flowers for me because I am not a flower person! But we did care about the song we chose for our walk-in and walk-out, we cared about using some of the paraphernalia from our courtship in the wedding and we did care about our wedding favours helping a poor Cambodian family survive better.

However, being in the wedding industry and with so many good friends in the industry, my dream of walking down the aisle with just a white bikini and sarong was just me being dreamy and idealistic. I remembered my gown designer saying “I’ll slap you!” when I requested for a simple sarong wrap. I also remembered my hair & make-up artist who also wanted to “slap” me because I went and cut my hair short a few months before the wedding (this was the point where I was called “bridezilla”, I think!) and of course, I remembered my Mom fretting at the fact that I was walking in with “two bunches of bananas” (empty handed).

But in the end, with enough emotional blackmail from my beloved Mom & Dad (and I mean this sincerely), and the numerous “Ho sim la! You are a wedding planner la! You don’t jaga your reputation, we also must jaga ours!” propagandas, I had my hair done, I had very light make-up on (which surprised everyone when I sat like a meek angel and let them do my hair and face) and I even walked down the aisle with a few stalks of maroon calla lilies. I felt every inch like a bride.

But I really think my other half had to be saluted. He took the reigns of planning the wedding because he didn’t want me to feel as if it was ‘work’ – to plan my own wedding. He made most of the decisions (only most, not all.J) whilst I was busy with my other businesses. Having the both of us based in Cambodia meant a lot of co-ordination between Cambodia, Bali and KL. When people ask me who was my wedding planner, without hesitation I would answer that it would be my other half. Having said that, we are very thankful for the help we got from our friends in the industry. Honestly, here is where I would recommend wedding planners to anybody – including wedding planners themselves.

The other thing we both were particular about was the wedding photography because those lasted a lifetime. We requested for the photographers to take casual shots of us in our “pak toh” mode along the streets of Kuta. The fun part was that – they were to behave like the paparazzi! Believe me, a lot of people thought we were some sort of celebrity when we started our photo session. It was fun and it was all part of the wedding experience we wanted.

When the moment for the wedding came – I was anxious. I did not want to make the same mistakes that I had seen a million of my clients do – they forget to bask in the moment. I was particularly conscious of reminding myself that I want to remember the moment when I walked down the aisle with my Dad and the feeling I was in. I didn’t want the feeling of just getting it over and done with. And this was the highlight of my wedding.

I remembered walking in to the chorus of “High” by Lighthouse Family, our chosen song. For me, the chorus was perfection. It was a message we told ourselves in our relationship – as long as we are together, we will overcome any obstacles there are in our path. I made it a point to pay attention to the vows which we wrote ourselves (which we later got tattooed on each other by our personal Bali tattooist) and I had butterflies in my tummy! I’ve always had butterflies in my tummy when my clients walked down the aisle as I hold my breath and pray everything goes smoothly for them in their once-in-a-lifetime moment and I didn’t think I would get them for my own wedding. But there they were! I was blinking back tears as my husband-to-be read his very long vows (which made some of our guests cry).

We had a small reception of sixty close friends and family. Even with the small number, we felt it was difficult to spend enough time with all of our guests. Whilst some of them travelled from Cambodia, a whole lot more were guests whom we had not met for over a year since we were both based out of the country. Time spent with each one of them was too short. But their presence and blessings at our wedding made it a perfect memory.

All in all, as a wedding planner, this was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever witnessed – not just because I was the bride, but because the one thing that really stood out from it was that there was a lot, a lot, a lot of laughter. From the surprise video presentation (courtesy of the “gang” from the wedding industry) to the lap dance from the groom to the funny anecdotes in our vows and all the speeches and to me, this was how a wedding should be. There were two power trips (I counted and noted because I could not help it – I notice these things!!) but hey, that small bit of imperfection could not overshadow what I really, really felt was a perfect wedding – at least to the both of us.
Love in fish-eye view...

With this wedding, I’ve come away believing that whilst grandeur, beauty and perfect planning accentuates a wedding celebration, it cannot replace the love and support from your close friends and family, the feel-good vibe that they sincerely vibrate at your wedding – including shedding a tear or two for you, and the fun and laughter that they provide to make your wedding a truly memorable one. For that, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank each and every one of our friends and family who travelled all the way to Bali and making it such a wonderfully memorable wedding for the both of us.