My New Year's Day Punishment

1st January 2010. The first day of a new decade. My brains whir into life. I open my eyes, smiling. Then, the pounding in the head began it's torture (which, unfortunately for me, was to last for a long, long time). Suddenly, the memories of the new year's eve celebration the night before came zooming through. And horrifyingly, there's an entire chunk which I could not, for the life of me recall. How the hell did I end up back in bed, naked? In a panicked state, I shook MOH who was snoring next to me. A mumble.
"What happened last night?" I asked, as the throbbing pain in the head continued.
"I'll tell you later." More snoring.

I closed my eyes and tried my hardest to recall.
The evening's celebration started off rather lamely. We had a home-cooked meal of chicken & pumpkin porridge. It sounds like a poor man's meal, sure. But it was so yummy and tasty, MOH and I had a great time eating dinner at home. I think it was generally a happy meal because we both could enjoy such a simple dinner in each other's company. Then, we stayed in watching chinese drama series, passing time till it was time to walk over to the FCC for the countdown.

Over at the FCC, DJ Illest was spinning - always a good thing. It was of course packed with revellers shaking their booties and throwing back shots after shots. We both hung around near the bar with our drinks and started people watching. In general, it was fun and in my mind, I thought we'd stay till countdown, watch some fireworks and then walk back home and crawl into bed. The mood was generally quite good. For me, the year ended on a really good note despite some last minute scares during the week. And I was looking forward to the brand new year ahead. So many things to do and a world to conquer!

And then my local partner and best friend, Ashley showed up with some friends and one of our clients cum my newfound friend from Orange County - Sean. This was when the plan for "go-back-right-after-countdown" went out the window. We had the countdown right at midnight and stayed on for a few more drinks. And then, we hopped over to the Riverhouse lounge - for more "partying". It was too noisy and crowded so we went downstairs instead and sat down like old folks with a couple of bottles of wine. One would've thought that picture quite tame. Except - I had no idea what compelled me to stop counting my drinks (Of course, now that I am sober enough to write this, I am going to blame it all on Sean). The last thing I remembered was watching the swimming leg of the triathlon on ESPN at the Riverhouse. And then, what else followed after that was a COMPLETE blank. Oh My God.

I rolled myself out of bed, forcing myself to get up. Perhaps a shower would do me some good. I jumped into the shower, head pounding and my whole body felt like I had just been through a train wreck and came back out alive. Every muscle was shaking, head pounding. I groaned. This was not how I imagined spending my first day of the year. The time - a little after 12noon. Crap. We missed New Year's brunch at Hagar's too. But I didn't feel like I could eat anything. Aaargh. I swear, I can't remember the last time I got this drunk - voluntarily. These were stuff juvenile delinquents did. Not an adult woman. Aargh. Aargh. Aargh.

MOH woke up and I pressed him for last night's details. Apparently, we even went for Midnight Porridge - which nobody finished the meal since that was when I was asking to go home. And apparently, I could not even stand up by myself nor walk up the stairs to my apartment. And starkingly horrible - in between laughs, MOH told me I was sleeping on the toilet floor while he tried to shower me and I was throwing up - you know, all the usual stuff a drunkard did. Aargh! Juvenile. Juvenile. Juvenile.

I threw up one more time after I showered in the morning. I could still taste the sickening alcohol in my mouth, my breath. I had to sit down with my hand propping my head up and I was still feeling rather drunk. Not just hungover - but drunk!

MOH, ..... I think what I really want to remember of New Year's Day - 2010 - the first new year's we celebrate as husband & wife is how MOH had relentlessly, patiently, taken care of me the entire night and the whole of New Year's Day while I recuperated. He got me a range of beverages to fight nausea and dehydration. He stroked my hair, he kissed me, he laughed at me. And all I could think of was imagining the sight of me lying on the toilet floor. That would've been grounds for divorce if ever there should be one! But not only did he not scold me nor lecture me, neither did he say anything mean to me. He made some lunch for me at home (I'm sorry we missed New Year's brunch! I really am!) and after lunch, I went back to sleep.

I woke up close to 5pm still not feeling much better. In fact, I felt rather sorry for the state I was in and of course, ruining the day for MOH too. But MOH - ensuring he kept to his wedding vows, just loved me, come what may. He said we should both get out for some air and he said we should go for a nice dinner as it was after all, New Year's Day. I relented - since it was because of me, we missed New Year's brunch. I changed in pain, my entire body seemed detached from my brains.

But we did get to La Volpaia for a nice Italian meal with Insalata Caprese and I had the Squid Ink Pasta - which was really tasty. MOH even had the cheek to asked me if I wanted a glass of wine. If my head wasn't pounding too much, I would've smacked him one. But all I could do was stick my tongue out at him. After dinner, we even went to Bayon Supermarket's grand opening and did some groceries - it being grand opening, we got a 10% discount off our total bill and a free large tin of chocolate wafers. So, considering all that, not a bad first day of the year. If only my head would stop pounding.

It had taken me two and a half days to recover - and I still feel a little lethargic. Seriously - gone through war and back. I've even got cuts on my arms which were unaccounted for! God knows what really happened! I guess, the body is no longer as young as I thought it was. I remembered a time where I could entertain any clients, mix my drinks and drink anyone under the table - yet, get to work bright and early. Ahhh, to be young again. But I stopped drinking when I started getting serious with my athletic performance. The alcohol slows everything down. I can certainly vouch for that - I was this close to getting alcohol poisoning 2 days ago :P The body is in such shock. I bet my liver is still upset with me. I can hear it bitching about me.

But you know how they say - there's a good thing that comes out of a bad thing. Just watching how MOH had patiently taken care of me and loving me through my drunken stupor had made me feel really lucky. Yes, thank God he was there and IS there for me. Otherwise, God only knows who would I be waking up next to - naked. *Gasp!*

Moral of the story : Don't ever binge-drink again. I don't know how some people do it weekends after weekends. But frankly - I think it is a very good thing I am now repulsed by the sight and smell of alcohol. It is now time to start my training again. Once again - a Happy New Year to all!

My Wedding Ring

Since the day MOH and I exchanged wedding rings till now, I’ve had a fair few people asking to see the ring, and getting all excited and making statements like “Oooh... you got a platinum ring!” or “Oh, is it white gold? It’s nice. So simple!” .... I do not know why the first thought is that the ring must either be platinum or white gold or something expensive like that. I found that rather interesting.

But when my Mom who spent a couple of weeks with us here in the Penh last week made a comment, it got me kind of annoyed, really. She took a closer look at my ring again and this time, I didn’t have the heart to hide the truth – that it was a simple, plain 925 sterling silver ring. And then she went “So Cheapskate!”. Sigh.

I don’t like gold. I am certainly not a fan of stones either. Not even diamonds – and they are supposed to be a girl’s best friend! And for those who know me, or at least, have seen me, they would remember that I am a “silver” girl. I have a silver ring on each finger (one from each guy that I’ve ever dated – according to my godson, Ryan. Haha.) and silver earrings and silver necklace and dolphin pendant and silver bracelet and silver anklet. I remember doing this ‘silver style’ ever since I hung up the high school pinafore. I like it, it’s nice, it’s a little bo-ho, it suits me fine. So, I imagined that a little sparkling stone or gold for that matter, in the midst of all that silver would stand out like a sore thumb.

And I never take them off. Not my rings, not my earrings, not my bracelets. Nothing. I shower wearing them, sleep wearing them, make love wearing them, go to the gym wearing them, swim wearing them, get into the ocean wearing them, go camping wearing them. Basically, I cannot be bothered taking them on and off all the time (too many of them and it would take away 10 minutes of my precious time). So you see, I do need something hardy, and definitely not too expensive. In fact – the cheaper, the better because I don’t feel that painful when I damage it.

I remember my engagement ring. I think there’s a diamond there somewhere (haha). I wore it the first day – to the gym and lifted weights. I got scratch marks all over the ring. Needless to say, from that day onwards, it has been sitting in its little box, sheltered and protected from ... ME. I took it out once – to wear it during my wedding. And now, it is back in its boxy home. I mean, if I continued wearing it, I would’ve been worried everyday about that tiny stone falling out, about being robbed or mugged or simply, just adding more scratches to it beyond recognition (MOH wouldn’t be pleased at all). Oh dear, it’s just a bit stressful, you know.

I mean – are platinum rings or gold rings or diamond rings seen as more romantic? I think the fact that MOH considered my style and my everyday abuse of my jewellery more romantic. I want to be able to wear the ring with me all the time! For me, the romanticism is in the fact that it is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand (because there’s a vein there that goes directly to the heart – oh-so-ROMANTIC!) and the fact that if I get to wear it all the time, it almost feels like I’m being ‘protected’. Cheesy, but romantic all the same.

So you see, I’m perfectly happy with my 925 silver wedding band. But MOH said he wants to engrave something onto our wedding rings (like the tattoos are not enough...) Very romantic indeed. But what if I lose the ring? *Gasp*

Being Newly Married

Being newly married, I get a lot of people asking "So, how does it feel being married?" and the automatic response from me is always "It's the same!". I decided to dwell on the question a wee bit more over the past few days, reflecting on my relationship with my new husband. Ah, perhaps, it is the fact that our 3rd year "anniversary" of being together is right here...

I think being newly-wed, one of the major adjustment is referring to my other half as my “husband”. He had always been my “boyfriend”. He never even transitioned to “fiancé”. Now, he’s my husband! I believe this would take some getting used to. But talk about something that really jolts you into “married” mode, huh? “Hi, I’m looking for my husband.” Or “My husband is waiting for me outside.” Or “Yes, my husband is fine. And how is yours?” Admittedly, I’ve had a few slip-of-tongue, and used the word “boyfriend” instead... and then I either get a grinning slap from a girlfriend or else a look of annoyance from my darling hubby.

The other thing that I find extremely difficult to get used to is being referred to as Mrs See (yes, that’s the surname of my beloved other half). Believe me, if you were not one of those who dreamt of becoming somebody’s wife since the age of five, you’d find this hard to swallow! I’m not sure I will ever take on the role of a “Mrs.”... in general, I feel every bit as I am – Eileen Lui.

So what then makes it different?

I've never given marriage much thought as a personal choice simply because I felt it was really just a piece of paper. Was it that important to have your commitment sanctified in front of all? If you did not get married, does that mean your commitment is .. hmmm, lesser in weight? Does that piece of paper really keep you away from falling out? Or is it a tool meant to tie you down? (considering my choice of profession, I should be shot dead, eh?)

I realised that the difference is what you make of it. You can either treat your vows lightly, or respect them – married or not. I refuse to be one of those boring couples who want to define their own “space” or who needs their own “space”, most importantly, I refuse to be one of those couples whose romance sizzle off into thin air over a period of time. This actually takes a lot of work. It does.

But I think I’ve been blessed. There is a lot of love in my relationship and a lot of fun and laughter. Three years that we’ve been together as a couple (not counting the 14 years of knowing each other!!), the longest time we’ve ever been apart was for a period of one month – when I moved to Cambodia ahead of my other half. Other than that, we see each other everyday, we work together, play together, eat together. And now that we’re married (and no longer living in sin), we also sleep together. Here in Cambodia, Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays – we’re always together – if possible. Whether it is to a party or grocery shopping and people ask – “Do you always have to do things together?!”

The best part is not getting tired of each other. Of course, work gets in the way, we get busy, we slide into that vortex where it all becomes a BORING routine, and we sometimes forget even to kiss each other before going to bed. It’s unavoidable. (It is at these times that I miss my singleton days!)

“Our miracle lies in the path that we have chosen together. The true magic of love is not to avoid changes, but to steer them successfully” (an excerpt from my husband’s vows to me – which is now forever tattooed on my left thigh).

Each time we find ourselves in that vortex, we would do whatever we can to celebrate our love. It could be as simple as just getting a piece of cake and putting sparklers on top and making wishes, or ordering in pizza (the happy ones :)) and washing it down with a bottle of wine in front of the TV or cooking a big meal together even if it was just the two of us. It was also nice that my beloved other half started this thing about celebrating our “anniversary” every month on the same date – which is why it is now approaching thirty-six months we’ve been together. And this month, we celebrate for the first time – our 3rd year, as husband and wife. That ought to count as special!

What we continue striving to do is to make each other laugh. There’s a difference between grocery shopping as a necessity and grocery shopping as a necessity amidst lots of laughter. We find ways to “entertain” each other. We’d annoy each other – I’d mis-match his socks on purpose and he’d flick me for doing that, or he’d fart under the blanket and I would pinch him for it.... even sorting out clothes to be donated for flood victims, we end up hiding each other’s will-die-without-it old, comfy T-shirt into the pile for donation. And every day, without fail, we shower with our eyes opened – you know why? The other person’s hiding behind the shower curtain, trying to turn the water tap to COLD so that the person showering will freeze. (Me? I’ve graduated from that. To make it easier, I just pour ice water on him from the top of the shower curtain).

Continuously trying to scheme of ways to one-up the other in this little game of ours is keeping us entertained and laughing enough for our daily intake. Seeing as we both decided not to have children (Ok! Ok! More me than him, but excuse me, he’s not the one with the womb. So no say :P), this just becomes a necessary tool in our relationship to escape that vortex I was talking about earlier.

I think aside from the “my husband” and “Mrs. See” thing, I noticed one stark difference – that is knowing when to stop at work. Knowing that it IS ok to leave some things for the next day, and that it is now time to go home and prepare his dinner. Oh, so “wife-ly” of me!

Love, here’s to many, many more months of celebrations and lots and lots of laughter too.

Nudes

For our wedding, we even took some erotic nude portraits..... and we've been extremely pleased with the results.......

My Wedding

When you mention a wedding planner getting married, it is an immediate response to conjure up images of Vogue-inspired gowns, perfectly manicured decor and settings, picture-perfect ambience and a prim and proper guest list.
Having been in the wedding business for seven years plus now, I did not want any of those. I wanted a fuss-free wedding. But I think more than that, both the groom and I wanted something that reflected us – our love, our personalities, including the fact that we were not perfect.

Being a great advocator of destination weddings, we decided to have the wedding in Bali. Bali was something that came naturally to the both of us – simply because this was where we first fell in love, so it felt like we had come full circle. We were both “beach bums” and an island/beach wedding suited us perfectly – no frills, no fuss – come in your bikinis and sarongs, hula shirts and all. This was us!

Throughout the wedding planning months before the wedding, I was particularly worried about being a “bridezilla” myself, having handled a fair few. I realised that my want for simplicity was clashing tremendously with the excitement of my friends from the same business! I didn’t want hair and make-up, I didn’t want flowers, I didn’t even want a wedding gown.... I was driving all of them nuts. I was becoming a “bridezilla”!

Even the team at Kayumanis was a little baffled when I said I didn’t want flowers. Whilst I would usually be very aware of how the cake looks and taste for my clients, for my own wedding, I told the pastry chef to “surprise me” – which he did indeed. Pleasantly, though. You see, it really was different when you’re handling someone else’s once-in-a-lifetime compared to when you’re handling yours.

For my own wedding, I didn’t care so much about it being perfect. I wanted it more to reflect our personalities, and our love. We didn’t care about flowers because throughout the years we’ve been together, my other half had never bought flowers for me because I am not a flower person! But we did care about the song we chose for our walk-in and walk-out, we cared about using some of the paraphernalia from our courtship in the wedding and we did care about our wedding favours helping a poor Cambodian family survive better.

However, being in the wedding industry and with so many good friends in the industry, my dream of walking down the aisle with just a white bikini and sarong was just me being dreamy and idealistic. I remembered my gown designer saying “I’ll slap you!” when I requested for a simple sarong wrap. I also remembered my hair & make-up artist who also wanted to “slap” me because I went and cut my hair short a few months before the wedding (this was the point where I was called “bridezilla”, I think!) and of course, I remembered my Mom fretting at the fact that I was walking in with “two bunches of bananas” (empty handed).

But in the end, with enough emotional blackmail from my beloved Mom & Dad (and I mean this sincerely), and the numerous “Ho sim la! You are a wedding planner la! You don’t jaga your reputation, we also must jaga ours!” propagandas, I had my hair done, I had very light make-up on (which surprised everyone when I sat like a meek angel and let them do my hair and face) and I even walked down the aisle with a few stalks of maroon calla lilies. I felt every inch like a bride.

But I really think my other half had to be saluted. He took the reigns of planning the wedding because he didn’t want me to feel as if it was ‘work’ – to plan my own wedding. He made most of the decisions (only most, not all.J) whilst I was busy with my other businesses. Having the both of us based in Cambodia meant a lot of co-ordination between Cambodia, Bali and KL. When people ask me who was my wedding planner, without hesitation I would answer that it would be my other half. Having said that, we are very thankful for the help we got from our friends in the industry. Honestly, here is where I would recommend wedding planners to anybody – including wedding planners themselves.

The other thing we both were particular about was the wedding photography because those lasted a lifetime. We requested for the photographers to take casual shots of us in our “pak toh” mode along the streets of Kuta. The fun part was that – they were to behave like the paparazzi! Believe me, a lot of people thought we were some sort of celebrity when we started our photo session. It was fun and it was all part of the wedding experience we wanted.

When the moment for the wedding came – I was anxious. I did not want to make the same mistakes that I had seen a million of my clients do – they forget to bask in the moment. I was particularly conscious of reminding myself that I want to remember the moment when I walked down the aisle with my Dad and the feeling I was in. I didn’t want the feeling of just getting it over and done with. And this was the highlight of my wedding.

I remembered walking in to the chorus of “High” by Lighthouse Family, our chosen song. For me, the chorus was perfection. It was a message we told ourselves in our relationship – as long as we are together, we will overcome any obstacles there are in our path. I made it a point to pay attention to the vows which we wrote ourselves (which we later got tattooed on each other by our personal Bali tattooist) and I had butterflies in my tummy! I’ve always had butterflies in my tummy when my clients walked down the aisle as I hold my breath and pray everything goes smoothly for them in their once-in-a-lifetime moment and I didn’t think I would get them for my own wedding. But there they were! I was blinking back tears as my husband-to-be read his very long vows (which made some of our guests cry).

We had a small reception of sixty close friends and family. Even with the small number, we felt it was difficult to spend enough time with all of our guests. Whilst some of them travelled from Cambodia, a whole lot more were guests whom we had not met for over a year since we were both based out of the country. Time spent with each one of them was too short. But their presence and blessings at our wedding made it a perfect memory.

All in all, as a wedding planner, this was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever witnessed – not just because I was the bride, but because the one thing that really stood out from it was that there was a lot, a lot, a lot of laughter. From the surprise video presentation (courtesy of the “gang” from the wedding industry) to the lap dance from the groom to the funny anecdotes in our vows and all the speeches and to me, this was how a wedding should be. There were two power trips (I counted and noted because I could not help it – I notice these things!!) but hey, that small bit of imperfection could not overshadow what I really, really felt was a perfect wedding – at least to the both of us.
Love in fish-eye view...

With this wedding, I’ve come away believing that whilst grandeur, beauty and perfect planning accentuates a wedding celebration, it cannot replace the love and support from your close friends and family, the feel-good vibe that they sincerely vibrate at your wedding – including shedding a tear or two for you, and the fun and laughter that they provide to make your wedding a truly memorable one. For that, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank each and every one of our friends and family who travelled all the way to Bali and making it such a wonderfully memorable wedding for the both of us.