Bali Travels : Part 3 – A Really Beautiful Wedding and An Extremely Emotional Bride-zilla

10th October 2010

Kris, Debra, MOH and myself had gotten our attires to match Leticia’s dream wedding theme. In fact, Debs and myself got our outfits made by … of course, who else but Kris / TSO :) Because it was a tie-back for me and heaps of buttons for Debs, we needed Kris’ help to get into our bajus. I was actually thinking to myself – we are such a nice bunch to have for a wedding because we totally immerse ourselves in the excitement of the whole process! From the getting dressed right up to the end! We helped each other get into our bajus and then we took photos before setting-off.

On the way to Sanur, we had our one and only rehearsal for our surprise presentation! We were doing a rendition of Teresa Teng’s “Yue Liang Dai Biao Wo De Sin” and another of Leticia’s guest was sharing the van with us. We had to bribe her to do two things for us – firstly – DO NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THE SURPRISE PERFORMANCE!!! And secondly – please stand up and applaud loudly while shouting "Bravo! Bravo!" after our performance. Hahahahahha. We were desperate since we had no idea where was the repeat, the bridge and not forgetting the fact that Cindy and Connie were not in the rehearsal with us! We will just have to wing it! And then of course, some smart person suggested I do a short intro beforehand which got me all hot & bothered because public-speaking just wasn’t my thing. I’m not going to be able to do an impromptu one so I wrote it down instead. Blimey.

The ride into the wedding venue was a little bumpy with only dirt road taking us there. But upon entering Villa Pushpapuri – the view was absolutely stunning! And we were – on time as usual, but because of the rain earlier, the set-up was delayed. We had fun taking photos and teasing the wedding planning crew! Ok, ok… me again :P

Leticia had really outdone herself and all the two years or so of planning her wedding was showing through all the attention-to-detail she had put into it. My favourite had to be the candy and snack station – and I believe the same went for all her other guests. She had about 30 guests which made it all the more intimate for a wedding celebration. For a small wedding like this, it was worth every effort to personalize it every way possible – and Leticia did just that. There were fun photo stations too as well as fun place cards, etc….

She was finishing her make-up when we all went in to see her and of course – the much talked-about layered wedding gown. She was looking the entire part of a beautiful, beautiful bride. Demure and all – except when she started cursing and swearing as usual :P We took some photos with her and Kris had to 'fix' her baju a little bit (well, it was a tiny piece of loose string!!). In fact, I told him I was offended when he said he didn’t bother bringing a sewing kit when I was getting married and his response was simple “What for? Because you would have happily traipsed in even if you had a big hole in your wedding dress!” It was true. So true. I hadn’t even wanted a wedding dress in the first place! I wanted a sarong and Kris had to tell my wedding planners to keep the sarong away from me until after the walk-in! Leticia and I were truly worlds apart and our friends would vouch for that!

Anyway, the weather was gorgeous after the rain and we were all getting more and more excited to the whole ceremony starting. MOH and myself together with Debs sped-up the set-up by helping to lay-out the favours and programme booklets. Ok, can’t say we sped it up all that much, but hey – we tried!

Finally, it all started. The entire wedding ceremony was really beautiful – which was the most important part. Well, at least to me. Their wedding ceremony was presided over by a priest – who, aside from reading utterly slowly, completely skipped the part about the Lighting Of The Unity Candle which I wrote – cheh! As guests, we showed our enthusiasm and happily sang along with the specially chosen hymns when we felt the choir wasn’t singing as greatly as we did :P Whatever it was, I was hoping and hoping for Leticia the bride-zilla - at the moment of the ceremony - to be freeing her mind from everything else and solely concentrated on remembering the entire ceremony and how she felt. As brides, this is likely to be your once-in-a-lifetime. How worth it would it be if you were cursing the bad sound system or worrying that your wedding cake isn’t displayed properly instead of focusing on the ceremony and remembering every minute of that special moment? How worth it would it be if you finished your wedding ceremony and after a day or two – when recalling the ceremony, it draws a blank in your head? Not worth it. And I believe Leticia knew this too. Just that, her bride-zilla streak was near frenzy levels on wedding day and one could lose sight of what’s important when that takes over! Therefore, I was hoping, for I wanted my friend, my partner-in-crime to remember her wedding day as something beautiful not because of anything else, but for the simple fact that she married the man of her dreams and the love of her life. And of course, we could now share wedding tales and married life, having gone through the whole motion!

But it being October in Bali and that meant the raining season – it poured after the ceremony ended. Most unfortunately, everything laid out for the dinner reception got wet. But for Kris, Debra, MOH and myself, we had already vowed to enjoy – even if we were under the rain so our spirits were still high. But for Leticia, she revealed to me – a different side. One of a cry baby! OMG.

Now, I hated the fact that it rained and all her well-planned details got drenched. And I can definitely understand how she felt – that the rain had ruined what was to be perfection on one of the most important days of her life. When I saw her crying, my heart went out to her. I never wish this upon any brides – not even clients of mine who were nasty. Like I said, you are likely only to get married once. If you want it perfect, it should be. However, sometimes things just don’t go according to plan especially when it comes to nature.

Despite all our efforts, her families’ efforts, in praying and praying for good weather, it still rained. Last I checked, we didn’t control the weather with a snap of our fingers! But you know what? Under these circumstances, it was crucial to focus again on what was important! And with that, I told Leticia that the little bit of rain shouldn’t ruin the day for her! I pointed out that the rest of us were having loads of fun (and I was enjoying my snack cup right in front of her when she started bawling!!) and she should too! And it ought to be a happy occasion because she had a beautiful, beautiful ceremony and she finally got her dream wedding to her childhood sweetheart! You tell me – was marrying the person you love more important on your wedding day or was it more important to have all the pretty wedding things remaining pretty? Simple case, yes?

The rain did eventually stop and Kris, MOH and myself pitched in to help salvage whatever was possible to start the programme for the reception. That’s one of the good things about having good friends in the wedding industry – aside from moral support, they were people who knew what to do to make it work again in situations like these. Not to mention, we surely knew how to keep spirits high! We went in to play the games (yes, those with the very complicated rules, according to Kris!), took polaroids after polaroids and of course, attacked more of the yummy snacks. I was a nut fanatic and was really delighted to see pistachios and macadamias all laid out at the snack station! Ok, basically - I'm a junkie - I love junk food :P

And as per planned, the reception went ahead and the wedding programme resumed. Her MC – which was also her ‘brides-man’ was hilariously funny and set the mood right for the day and whilst we ate our dinner, we were entertained wildly with the speeches by the bridesmaids, groomsmen as well as the father-of-the-bride who gave a really emotional speech. As always, I believe that weddings should always be one where laughter permeates the air – and this wedding was no different! Finally, our surprise presentation happened (in all honesty, I had planned for something wilder, but because I wasn’t in the country to co-ordinate with the gang, the karaoke would have to do :P) and we sang to our hearts’ content. Hmmm…. If only we could have smuggled the life-size moon and heart along without alarming the bride-zilla :P

Kris, MOH and myself leapt into the pool – and we are now worried that we would have some rather embarrassing photos of us partying too hard – when the pool party was declared started. We had champagne in the pool and the bride came in looking all sexy in her new bod ;) and pink bikini. All in all, it was a really, really fun celebration and what can I say – but hats off to the wedding planning team for pulling this through despite all the set-backs!

And to Leticia & Tjun Hong, congratulations once again. After the 18 years of ‘courtship’ – this DOES mark a new chapter in your lives and may you always live in love.

My Wedding

When you mention a wedding planner getting married, it is an immediate response to conjure up images of Vogue-inspired gowns, perfectly manicured decor and settings, picture-perfect ambience and a prim and proper guest list.
Having been in the wedding business for seven years plus now, I did not want any of those. I wanted a fuss-free wedding. But I think more than that, both the groom and I wanted something that reflected us – our love, our personalities, including the fact that we were not perfect.

Being a great advocator of destination weddings, we decided to have the wedding in Bali. Bali was something that came naturally to the both of us – simply because this was where we first fell in love, so it felt like we had come full circle. We were both “beach bums” and an island/beach wedding suited us perfectly – no frills, no fuss – come in your bikinis and sarongs, hula shirts and all. This was us!

Throughout the wedding planning months before the wedding, I was particularly worried about being a “bridezilla” myself, having handled a fair few. I realised that my want for simplicity was clashing tremendously with the excitement of my friends from the same business! I didn’t want hair and make-up, I didn’t want flowers, I didn’t even want a wedding gown.... I was driving all of them nuts. I was becoming a “bridezilla”!

Even the team at Kayumanis was a little baffled when I said I didn’t want flowers. Whilst I would usually be very aware of how the cake looks and taste for my clients, for my own wedding, I told the pastry chef to “surprise me” – which he did indeed. Pleasantly, though. You see, it really was different when you’re handling someone else’s once-in-a-lifetime compared to when you’re handling yours.

For my own wedding, I didn’t care so much about it being perfect. I wanted it more to reflect our personalities, and our love. We didn’t care about flowers because throughout the years we’ve been together, my other half had never bought flowers for me because I am not a flower person! But we did care about the song we chose for our walk-in and walk-out, we cared about using some of the paraphernalia from our courtship in the wedding and we did care about our wedding favours helping a poor Cambodian family survive better.

However, being in the wedding industry and with so many good friends in the industry, my dream of walking down the aisle with just a white bikini and sarong was just me being dreamy and idealistic. I remembered my gown designer saying “I’ll slap you!” when I requested for a simple sarong wrap. I also remembered my hair & make-up artist who also wanted to “slap” me because I went and cut my hair short a few months before the wedding (this was the point where I was called “bridezilla”, I think!) and of course, I remembered my Mom fretting at the fact that I was walking in with “two bunches of bananas” (empty handed).

But in the end, with enough emotional blackmail from my beloved Mom & Dad (and I mean this sincerely), and the numerous “Ho sim la! You are a wedding planner la! You don’t jaga your reputation, we also must jaga ours!” propagandas, I had my hair done, I had very light make-up on (which surprised everyone when I sat like a meek angel and let them do my hair and face) and I even walked down the aisle with a few stalks of maroon calla lilies. I felt every inch like a bride.

But I really think my other half had to be saluted. He took the reigns of planning the wedding because he didn’t want me to feel as if it was ‘work’ – to plan my own wedding. He made most of the decisions (only most, not all.J) whilst I was busy with my other businesses. Having the both of us based in Cambodia meant a lot of co-ordination between Cambodia, Bali and KL. When people ask me who was my wedding planner, without hesitation I would answer that it would be my other half. Having said that, we are very thankful for the help we got from our friends in the industry. Honestly, here is where I would recommend wedding planners to anybody – including wedding planners themselves.

The other thing we both were particular about was the wedding photography because those lasted a lifetime. We requested for the photographers to take casual shots of us in our “pak toh” mode along the streets of Kuta. The fun part was that – they were to behave like the paparazzi! Believe me, a lot of people thought we were some sort of celebrity when we started our photo session. It was fun and it was all part of the wedding experience we wanted.

When the moment for the wedding came – I was anxious. I did not want to make the same mistakes that I had seen a million of my clients do – they forget to bask in the moment. I was particularly conscious of reminding myself that I want to remember the moment when I walked down the aisle with my Dad and the feeling I was in. I didn’t want the feeling of just getting it over and done with. And this was the highlight of my wedding.

I remembered walking in to the chorus of “High” by Lighthouse Family, our chosen song. For me, the chorus was perfection. It was a message we told ourselves in our relationship – as long as we are together, we will overcome any obstacles there are in our path. I made it a point to pay attention to the vows which we wrote ourselves (which we later got tattooed on each other by our personal Bali tattooist) and I had butterflies in my tummy! I’ve always had butterflies in my tummy when my clients walked down the aisle as I hold my breath and pray everything goes smoothly for them in their once-in-a-lifetime moment and I didn’t think I would get them for my own wedding. But there they were! I was blinking back tears as my husband-to-be read his very long vows (which made some of our guests cry).

We had a small reception of sixty close friends and family. Even with the small number, we felt it was difficult to spend enough time with all of our guests. Whilst some of them travelled from Cambodia, a whole lot more were guests whom we had not met for over a year since we were both based out of the country. Time spent with each one of them was too short. But their presence and blessings at our wedding made it a perfect memory.

All in all, as a wedding planner, this was one of the most beautiful weddings I have ever witnessed – not just because I was the bride, but because the one thing that really stood out from it was that there was a lot, a lot, a lot of laughter. From the surprise video presentation (courtesy of the “gang” from the wedding industry) to the lap dance from the groom to the funny anecdotes in our vows and all the speeches and to me, this was how a wedding should be. There were two power trips (I counted and noted because I could not help it – I notice these things!!) but hey, that small bit of imperfection could not overshadow what I really, really felt was a perfect wedding – at least to the both of us.
Love in fish-eye view...

With this wedding, I’ve come away believing that whilst grandeur, beauty and perfect planning accentuates a wedding celebration, it cannot replace the love and support from your close friends and family, the feel-good vibe that they sincerely vibrate at your wedding – including shedding a tear or two for you, and the fun and laughter that they provide to make your wedding a truly memorable one. For that, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank each and every one of our friends and family who travelled all the way to Bali and making it such a wonderfully memorable wedding for the both of us.