The Kingdom of Chaos

I've meant to write this piece but have been putting it off for awhile now simply because it had been a very trying three months in the Kingdom. This week would mark my 2nd year in the Kingdom and last week particularly, had been extra challenging.

I had read back what I wrote 3 weeks after I arrived in 2008 here and I knew that this time around, my tone would sound... well, different. Why? Well, I guess, it is because, living in Cambodia can be trying and challenging at the same time. It does get under your skin.

I admit that with a whole lot of patience, an ounce of aggressiveness, a tonne of hardwork and a dash of luck, Cambodia is truly a place where one can make money. If you remove all forms of morality and conscience, you could perhaps even make loads of money here. And with money, you can practise the all-time, all-accepted and widely used "UTM" concept here - an acronym for "Under Table Money". The Cambodians tell me - "In Cambodia, if you have money - you can do anything you want." Even murder apparently.

Of course, when I first came back to Cambodia, I had this whole load of passion and vision in helping the young generation of Cambodians to elevate themselves and strive for a better life for themselves. Unfortunately, this passion has waned and is continuing to wane further, like water seeping through the gaps of my fingers. Through experiences, some forums, the regular chats with other expatriates working here - I've come to realize and accept two things - that the Cambodian people as a mass - whilst harmless, are generally lazy; and that it is not up to me to "save" them if they refuse to "save" themselves. Excuse me for a second, whilst I do speak of them as a mass, there are a handful of Cambodians who have proved to be hardworking and with lots of heart. Some of them include the team that I have at work :)

My team at work here has been with me since the get-go and whilst it had been frustrating steering them down the right path in the business that we do, I am finally seeing some fruit bearing shape. I always tell them that it does not matter if they are inexperienced, or stupid even, but as long as they are not lazy - they'll make it. Yes. I believe so. It is the "laziness" of the people of this country that really gets to me. In essence - they remind me a lot of some of my fellow countrymen back home. They often use the genocide war as an excuse for their lack of knowledge and poor living conditions. The worse of it is that - in general, the Cambodians are even too lazy to think, preferring to make a fast buck whenever and wherever they can. Or if the job seems too complicated - they would prefer not to make the money at all and go back to complaining about how poor they are and how they live on the streets. Like when we had to hang a wall banner up for a client and the supplier said he didn't know how to do it. If he had just utilized his brains a little more - he would've figured it out. But in the end, I had to pay him AND taught him how to bloody do it as well.

Because of the business that I do in Cambodia, I interact a lot with the young Cambodians and when I actually ask them what are their ambition - they would say "I want to work in the tax office," or "I want to work in the post office." To get jobs within these government departments - and even in the police force, is not difficult. It costs merely USD2k - USD5k to 'buy' your position there. And from here onwards, UTM enables one to further line their pockets. Sometime last year, a friend of mine delivered an EMS package to me. First of all, miraculously - the parcel arrived. Second of all, when I was called to collect my parcel, the idiot at the counter asked me for a bribe of USD10 before he would release the parcel to me. (Of course, USD10 is the charges for a foreigner. The locals get charged between USD2 - USD5). I was fuming. Literally. The fact that me rattling off in English and swearing in between only fell on blank looks added on to the frustrations. You see, my spoken Khmer can only get me by that far. When I'm angry - I tend to think solely in English :P

What about the challenging 'no electricity' situation last week? Electricite du Cambodge, the equivalent of Tenaga Nasional, had accidentally disconnected the electricity to our apartment. We were out of power for a good 30 hours. Boy, was I in a foul mood. And in true Cambodian style, to get the electricity connected again, one has to do the whole UTM thing. In case I really shot anyone down and had no money to UTM my way out of a murder conviction, I told my landlady to settle the damn issue. Welcome to Cambodia, huh? When I greet new arrivals with this phrase - they should really take it with a pinch of salt.

The government impunity practised here is by far - a hundred times worse than Malaysia (still, shame on Malaysia for being compared to Cambodia - I'm telling you Jason) - with the ranked and non-ranked officials doing as they please. I've had my fair share of threats because I had on occasion told some people off - without knowing who the hell they were. I mean, you spit into the damn swimming pool and blow your nose in it - I ain't sitting back and not saying something about it - because I use the pool too! Or the other time when I overtook a Hummer with black-tinted windows (any large vehicles with black tinted windows are often linked to government officials or the mafia) and he stopped right next to my car - believe me, at that moment, I thought he was going to roll down his window and shoot me, so I did the next best thing - I pretended to cry. And the Hummer left me alone. You've got all these So-And-So's wife using the gym and they would actually tell you to get off the machine because they want to use it. And then they get on the machine and yak on their mobile phones at the top of their voices. They may be rich and powerful, but they certainly have no class and in fact, appear uncouth to me too. I've asked the locals time and time again about the whole UTM thing and the impunity and all they ever answer is "We cannot do anything about it." Arse-luck then. Neither can I.

The other frustrating thing here in the Kingdom is the expatriates themselves. For some reason - the moment they arrive in Cambodia, they tend to become "stupid" and "ignorant". I mean, things that they don't normally do back home or they can't do back home - they will start doing here. Like throwing their garbage everywhere or drilling at 6am on a freaking Sunday morning. I'm sorry to say - especially the French - because they seem to walk around as if they own this place. Yes, I know, you used to colonize Cambodia - but hey - stop being delusional - you no longer rule this place! Even at work, you know, whether they be Malaysians, Singaporeans, Aussies, Brits, Americans.... they just tend to get "stupid". Like how much would you pay for service fee in your country? But over here - you suddenly do not believe in paying for service fee? I've once had a major issue with a major client all written here. In a discussion the other day with a fellow expatriate facing the same problems and issues, I've come to realize that in general, the foreigners who are sent to Cambodia have no intentions of elevating the livelihoods of the people here - even though they are meant to train the locals, share knowledge with the locals, help the locals and build sustainable businesses for the locals. It's really quite sad because by keeping the Cambodians down, happens to be their only way of staying on top in this country. No wonder they always rave about Cambodia and how great the chaos of this place is. This is one of the reasons my passion to "save Cambodians" have waned as well. I'm the only corporate fool wanting to make a change. And I simply can't do it alone. Reality bites - I have to feed my team too, you know.

Yes, admittedly, there are a few NGOs doing really good work for the children here - and I especially admire the efforts of Mark Turgesan and friends for setting up Friends and the ChildSafe Network. When I wanted to set up a Youth Social Enterprise, I had a long discussion with Mark and another one with the Director of PSE. Bottomline is - they loved the idea that I had, but to get it all started - is truly another story altogether. So I took a step back and I set-up a tiny training centre for the Cambodian youths instead. Still, it is not up to me alone to "save" them. And I also volunteer at the orphanage for kids with HIV - this experience has been remarkable - seeing myself - from someone who cringed at touching these kids (even though I am educated enough about AIDS) to hugging and kissing these children who so deserve at least some love and attention.

I'm barely keeping my sanity around me these days. Work is already stressful enough as it is (the pace of getting things done in Cambodia is certainly not suitable for those who are in the business of having to deliver deadlines!) What with the French bitch upstairs knocking and drilling for the last 2 months (For this, I am proud to say that I've told her off when she belittled me as an 'Asian' who had never even heard of Europe by saying "No. I've NEVER heard of Europe, but from where I come from, people are A LOT MORE CONSIDERATE.") and the escalating mass stupidity that multiplies by twenty every single day, it's all getting to me and contributing to my bad karma. You see, eversince I came to Cambodia, I've been collecting bad karma - why? Simply because I curse people to death on a daily basis; "I hope you die!" when I drive and you know, ever since the French bitch declared war, I've been plotting at how to get back at her (get MOH to urinate at her door), and whilst I honestly do not mean it nor will I carry my actions out - it's just bad karma even to think about it or curse that way! I mean, back home, I don't find myself wishing death upon someone (ok, maybe one or 2 nasty clients occasionally) nor plotting to make my neighbour's life a living hell on a daily basis!

I definitely have to talk about the medical facilities in this country. Before that, if you were to come visit at my apartment - you would find that I have enough medication to open a mini pharmacy - from diarrhoe to cough to the normal fever and flu. Even the doctors at the International SOS are unreliable. Earlier this year, MOH had Hepatitis and we paid freaking USD350 to do a blood test only to get these on the results "Acute Hepatitis" and when I asked the doctor if it is A, B, C or E his response was "Whatever it is, it is still the liver and best you go back to your own country to get a proper check." I wanted to slap this French doctor. The wedding group who came for the launch of TWP would definitely vouch for the miserable condition of seeking medical help - seeing as one of them had an allergic reaction to spiders and the doctor had to "check the internet" to determine spider allergies as he's never heard of it before and another one had the doctor forcing her to admit that she had running nose and sore throat so that he could diagnose her with H1N1!

All in all, life in Cambodia isn't a bed of roses and because I've been here 3 months in a stretch - it's been absolutely frustrating. So much so that - to avoid blood pressure shooting off the roof, MOH and I have gone the 'anti-social' route of staying in - even on the weekends. We'd much rather cook and have a grand meal at home than to go out and order a Chicken A La Kiev and the waitress just stares at you like you're an idiot thus causing blood pressure to go haywire. Of course, it doesn't mean we've turned hermits. We still do go out. But lesser - it saves money too, since, despite the perception that Cambodia is a poor country, things are pretty damn expensive here! (My normal Cornflakes cost USD6.45 here - which is why, every trip we make back home, we bring back an entire mini-market with us).

So then, what is the balance of living life here? The trick is really to get out of the country every 2 months - which is an advice handed down by all the seasoned expatriates here. For those who can't, then,.... you know, we try to make the best of it and milk whatever good things that are found in this country - no matter how tiny - like the USD6 full body massage at a nice spa  or the special financial crisis set-lunch at one of the high-end Italian joints in town. Of course, looking at my FB photos of life here - with all the home-cooked feasts with MOH, date nights and what-nots, it seems like we're living the good life here in Cambodia. We both enjoy cooking a lot - and weekends are spent cooking and experimenting with menus for the entire week (MOH packs lunch to work) - once again, very cost-effective ;)

My Mom harrasses me about having a maid - but again - another indulgence to balance out the frustrations - although, I have to admit - the maid adds to my stress-levels too. In all honesty, the only reason I haven't fired her is because I trust her as she comes in to clean while I am still at work. In actual fact, I am only paying her to sweep and mop and wipe the dust off tables / chairs,..... as MOH and I do our own laundry, washing, dishes, etc (have long ago given up on her doing these as she is just too damn lazy to do it well). I have another acquaintance who has 3 children and a nanny for each child as well as two maids. She hails from USA and she says the same thing - "This is one of my perks for living in this sad country."

But don't get me wrong - there are a lot of nice people here too that help you get through the frustrations  better and can understand the situation you are in because they are likely to be in the exact same shite. They may be acquaintances or friends - but there are certainly nice people in existence in this country - and they come from all walks of life - from the Cambodian so-and-so who is a Minister at the PM's office who always asks me how am I doing in my triathlon training, to the Hawaiian chef who gives me my cake fix, to the Afghan woman who provides all the laughs and tells me Cambodia is Switzerland as compared to Kabul, to the tuk-tuk driver who whenever I do get into his tuk-tuk, always tells me to pay whatever I like, to the French F&B manager from FCC who has absolutely no airs about him and turns a blind eye to my "free parking" at his lot (the only French guy I've met so far in Cambodia who has absolutely no airs and realistically realizes he's in Asia - and lovin' it), to my local team who despite my Empress Dowager ways in pushing them to excel - would always be willing to help me get through a "Welcome to Cambodia" factor - like ordering cooking gas, to the Cambodian coffee man in the Russian Market who serves the "Best Iced Coffee" in Phnom Penh and is always ready with a smile and an additional free half cup of coffee for me (since the coffee is too strong and hubby and I usually just share 1 cup) right through to the Cambodian celebrity chef who is as humble as can be when he serves me his special jasmine-flavoured pudding (which is like a slice of heaven, by the way) - and there are still plenty of others out there.

Most importantly though - MOH is here with me - otherwise, I would've packed my bags within the first month of landing my ass in this Kingdom of Chaos.

Kep, Kampot, Sihanoukville and Phnom Penh

1st November 2009
My parents arrived right on the 1st day of Water Festival. On one hand, it was great they got to experience the Cambodian Water Fest. On the other hand, it was an absolute nightmare for them to get from the airport to the apartment because it was chock-a-block jam-packed, not to mention, roads were closed to vehicles.

It was a nightmare for them to walk from Norodom Blvd. all the way down to Sisowath Quay where we were staying. But it was a good thing MOH was travelling with them. Still, no fun carting all that luggage!

Anyway, since it was shoulder-to-shoulder crowd, we didn’t venture very far for dinner. Thankfully, there was a Vietnamese Pho shop right downstairs where we live, ten steps away. And we had dinner there. After dinner, we did a quick walk around the block for them to take in the “sights” (crowd of people, more like) and then we headed home.

It was air mattress for MOH and I, whilst we let my parents sleep in our bed.

2nd November 2009
The van taking us to Kep arrived ten minutes earlier. We boarded, all gung-ho and ready to go. I had been to Kep so this was to be my second trip with MOH. For my parents, this would be their first. I was looking forward to the trip simply because I was just itching to get out of the crowd in the Penh.

The journey took us about 3½ hours with a stop for breakfast at the midway stop. I had forgotten the name of that little border town. We had noodles together with our driver and then we trudged ahead with our bumpy ride.

When we got to Kep, there was definitely a buzz in the air. We were here the same time last year – during the Water Festival, but it was still very quiet. This year, however, there were a lot of people milling around the Kuan Yin statue, the beach side in town (if it can be called Kep Town) and definitely a lot of people at the Crab Market. Kep is thriving! A lot of resorts were being built as we passed through.

We arrived at Veranda Resort at about 11am and waited around to check-in. They were building a pool, but it wasn’t ready (darn it). Anyway, talk about a back-to-nature lodge! It was a really basic little shack, but clean and nicely done. And it felt like we were camping ‘luxuriously’ amidst the jungle! Yet, we can see the view of the ocean from our little balcony-cum-veranda. It was so peaceful and tranquil in our little shack, with chairs, hammocks and cushions lined outside of the shack for quiet reading. I was definitely feeling rejuvenated!

After freshening up a little, MOH rented a moto. He was going to ferry us one at a time to the Crab Market for lunch. The Crab Market wasn’t that far away, but it was absolutely hot! We ended up at this place called Sunset Restaurant to have our meal – the wait was arduously long! But the food that arrived – Squid Stir-Fried with Kampot Green Pepper, Grilled Crabs, Grilled Prawns and Fried Noodles with Seafood were really delicious!

After lunch, my parents went back to the resort (ferried again by MOH on the rented moto) and then MOH and I went round Kep town. We went to Knai Bang Chatt to confirm our bookings and then we went to have a drink at a newly opened restaurant – Breeze – which was right by the seaside (no beach though).... it was a really nice place, lounge-like and again, very relaxing feel to it. The menu was not bad, but since we already had lunch, we ordered a little snack that we thought seemed irresistible – Fried Prawns with Chilli Rum Sauce. It was not bad. But the shrimps were a tad too small though.

Anyway, we went back and then MOH and myself, also had a Pear and Almond Tart from the Veranda bakery – it was yummy! We thought we’d take forty-winks but instead, we ended up over-sleeping – thanks to me setting the alarm at the wrong hour! My Mom and Dad actually had to come over to our shack and wake us up. It was right hilarious! We made reservations to eat at Veranda (the food was yummy when we tried it last year) for 6.30pm. We got to dinner at 7pm but it was still ok. We ordered a Seafood Amok, Stir-Fried Morning Glory, Chicken Stir-Fried with Kampot Green Pepper and a Crabmeat Soup (this was good, it was almost like a Lobster Bisque).

After dinner, MOH wanted to buy a muffin that was on 50% discount so we got a chocolate one and then, our newly-appointed moto driver took us to the Riel Bar. This time, MOH fetched my Mom and myself together – means 3 of us on one bike! Indeed!

The Riel Bar is still the same. The owner (again, cannot for the life of me remember his name) still as chirpy and friendly as ever.... so Mom & Dad and MOH & I sat and chatted about politics, about Cambodia and generally, had a good time.

There’s really not much to do in Kep. Just mill around and do nothing. The best part – no TV in the room either! Anyway, we went back to the resort around 10pm........ with nothing to do but do what the rabbits do for fun ;) We had that chocolate muffin for energy beforehand ;)

3rd November 2009
We woke up for breakfast at Veranda Resort (which was included in the room rates). It was nice weather, waking up in the early morning – well, I was enjoying the peace and tranquillity when I heard my parent’s voices right outside our shack – they were taking photographs and had already gone around the resort to take their holiday photos. Such a sweet couple!

Anyway, the breakfast was buffet and had a really large variety of food – breads, spreads, yoghurt, cereals, fried noodles, stir-fried vegetables, fried eggs, scrambled eggs, loh see fun soup, pancakes, tea, coffee and juices. Lavish, indeed.

After breakfast, we promptly checked-out and got ourselves moto-ed to Knai Bang Chatt. I think the moto driver had not expected us to be going back and forth so much with the moto! But I am sure he still made his money from the rental (USD8 per day – which we paid only USD4!!)

Knai Bang Chatt was really a different angel. It was of course, luxurious. Right in front of the sea (not swimmable, likely) and once again, absolutely peaceful – if not for the annoying screams of some children in the pool (you know, they should really disallow entry to children under age of 12 at any resorts like these!) ... oh well, one of the suites was ready, the other wasn’t. Thanks to JFT, our stay here was complimentary. And the suites – BEAUTIFUL. Really, really beautiful.

I wasted no time in basking under the sun! We read, we swam in the pool, and then before you know it, time for lunch! We decided to have lunch at the Sailing Club – just to get some light bites and all that. But still, we ended up with a Crabmeat Soup (this time, the version that we are used to), Fried Noodles with Prawns, Seafood Platter (Grilled Crabs, Grilled Squid and Grilled Prawns) and a Stir-Fried Prawns in Kampot Green Pepper. So much for going light, huh?

We relaxed and lazed by the pool for a bit more as we had earlier booked a Catamaran for sailing for 3pm. When 3pm came, we all went over to the Sailing Club again and set-off for our little adventure – minus Mom. Mom was to be our keeper of things and photographer. We were supposed to have gone out with an instructor, but my Dad said we didn’t need one. Aye, aye Captain!

So, off we went, into the blinding light and the vast ocean beyond..... it was really quite fun and of course, easy to sail the Catamaran! Did I tell you – ONLY when there is wind??? Without the wind, for novices, your bloody Catamaran doesn’t move!! And this was the problem we encountered when we turned around to head back – half an hour into the journey. We thought, half hour to go out and half hour to get back... since it was a sail to nowhere. It was so funny, every time I asked my Dad : “Captain, I think we are sailing off –course,” or “Captain, we have twenty minutes to get back onto the shore,” (because we only hired the Cat for an hour at USD15) and he would reply me with “What can I do??!” Oh My God. We took one hour for the return journey. And that also – because of my heroic stunts after our hand-paddling failed to work :P

I actually jumped into the ocean, without the life vest because that just hampers my swimming, and I swam and pulled the Catamaran along with me. I seriously felt like such a hero! I was rescuing my crew! More so, out of the three of us on the Cat, I was the strongest swimmer on board and my Dad, the Captain needed to manoeuvre the sail. Actually, to be honest, I was a bit hesitant in the water because the ocean was one that was unfamiliar to me. And I had images of under-currents dragging me below and then, there were lots of little things stinging me. If not for the goggles, I wouldn’t have swum. But I did have them and swim I did. I finally managed to pull the Cat to where the water was only waist-high. That was when MOH jumped in to help pull the Cat along, back to the Sailing Club jetty. The sea was all gooey and yucky inside – and midway – there were corals. Thank God for those rubber shoes that the Sail Club provided! Finally, after a long pull, we reached the jetty. And that was the end of my heroic stunts. But still – I felt great. It was my little cheap-thrill adventure!

We went for a dip in the pool immediately and not five minute had passed, a storm came in! We were so, so, so terribly lucky! Imagine being stuck out in the ocean, in the storm, cold and miserable?? Oh, thank our lucky, lucky stars then! We dashed into our rooms and promptly got ourselves showered. The storm passed as we were getting ready for our dinner. And we still managed to catch a quickie in the shower ;)

Anyway, we walked a little way out of Knai Bang Chatt – on muddy dirt road... sigh,.... why couldn’t a proper luxury resort make sure the roads leading to their resort was at least nicer? Anyway, we caught a tuk-tuk instead to take us to the Crab Market. Kim Ly was opened tonight so we went there for dinner.

After the adventure today, I said we’ll eat a damn nice dinner tonight and we even ordered a bottle of Vina Maipo Chardonnay to go with our dinner. Also, I went a little crazy with the seafood because it was our last night in Kep. We ordered the Stir-Fried Squid in Butter, Grilled Squid, Grilled Crabs, Stir-Fried Crabs in lemongrass and curry sauce and a Crabmeat Fried Rice. So full! After dinner, we went back to KBC to do... nothing once again. Even KBC had no TV. We read, and then we fell asleep.

4th November 2009
I woke up early as usual and headed out for my morning swim. The pool I think was about 20m... I had to do many, many laps to complete 30 minutes. Anyway, my parents, as usual, were up and doing their usual photography walkabout. They are really such a cute couple!
After my swim, MOH came down and we went for breakfast – which was also included with the room. Breakfast was not that great in KBC, much to our disappointment. Considering the spread at Veranda with cheaper rooms, therefore, this was a tad disappointing. But they had Marmite! And Nutella!

After breakfast, I meandered to the poolside again and caught more sun. Before you know it, it was time to check-out of KBC and leave Kep! We arranged for a tuk-tuk to take us over to Kampot – which is about 45 minutes away.

So, promptly at 12noon, we left KBC and Kep in our little tuk-tuk and headed off for Kampot. Goodbye Kep! I hope to be back. It had been really nice this trip.

The tuk-tuk ride was rather uneventful, but it was hot and in order to avoid funny tan lines, I covered myself with the sarong. So did my Dad! Surprisingly, it wasn’t dusty. I had expected to be covered in dust!

We arrived right in front of The Rikitikitavi and were shown immediately to our rooms. I was at once, really taken aback by how quiet Kampot’s riverside was. And I was also at the same time, liking Rikitikitavi VERY much. The rooms were pretty nice – ahh... this time, all 4 of us shared one large room with 2 queen beds. I am so looking forward to the midnight orchestra! :P

Anyway, aside from the room – which had TV and fridge (unlike over in Kep), the owner – Dominic (not sure I got the spelling of his name right) was such a friendly soul! He came over to the room to make sure everything was ok and I absolutely loved his British accent! (Well, it was not Hugh Grant, but better than nothing!) I soon discovered that Dom loves to talk! But I cannot say I remember the last time I felt such warmth and hospitality from anyone from a hotel before! But Dom – he is so the man. And I just know that I will be back to stay at the Rikitikitavi. Even the name of the hotel is so nice just to pronounce. A mouthful, yes, but it’s a sing-song. (Google Rikitikitavi and you’ll find the beautiful story behind the name).

Anyway, after we freshened up and all, we walked out to lunch. We had lunch at this place called Coco House. The lunch was mildly disappointing. I didn’t order anything to eat. My Dad had a Chicken Noodle Soup – which he disliked and gave to my Mom. My Mom had a Fried Noodle – which ended up with MOH and MOH ordered the Fried Rice which ended up for my Dad. I just pinched a little of everything from everyone. We also ordered a side dish of something – I think, maybe prawns with Kampot green pepper. The lunch was so boring that I didn’t even remember at all to take photos of it!

During lunch, MOH went to book us for a “Sunset Cruise” along the Kampot river. That should be fun. Woohoohoo! So we went back to the hotel, changed and came out. The best part was that the docking point was right in front of Rikitikitavi! So cool. Thus, at 3.30pm, we started on our river cruise.

It was quite fun..... but the sights were nothing that spectacular, really. Vang Vien on the tube was so much better – at least it felt more exciting. We thought we would be stopping at like the durian farms, or the rapids or swim, but nothing of that sort – and I have a sneaky feeling that we had fallen for a big con job from the tour operator (Key Man Tours) who actually told us that they would stop, etc. Welcome to Cambodia. That’s all I can say.

There were the four of us and one other couple – can’t tell where they’re from, but maybe Germans or something like that. On the way back, we asked the boatman to stop us at this “hippie” shack.... It’s the same owners of the Utopia Guesthouse.... and we knew it was “hippie” because we read it in the Kampot Survival Guide... but they were indeed dressed that way too with a few Westerners also milling around with dreadlocks and the likes.

Dad and MOH had a beer. We took some photos and then we left at 5.30pm. Back to the boat. The sun was setting fast and I didn’t want to miss that spectacular sunset Dom was telling us about.

Alas! I missed it anyway. You can’t see no sunset from the river! Or maybe not on the river cruise. I forgot which side was it that Dom mentioned had a really stunning sunset. Oh well, there’ll be a next time then.

We got back and showered. Then we headed upstairs for dinner. Yes, upstairs of the Rikitikitavi. And that is where I met Dom’s wife, Denise (again, apologies for wrong spelling) who is Dutch. Just like her hubby, she is warm and attentive. I really wish them the best of the best luck in whatever they do – just for being so nice! Anyway, we missed Happy Hour so my Dad refused to drink. My Mom ordered a beer and MOH had a lemonade. I got myself a Jamaican-something-something which tasted quite good actually. For eats, I ordered the Grilled Pork Skewers and Chicken Fingers (both starters to share), MOH got the Fish Amok, Mom ordered the Chicken with Cashew Nuts and Dad had the Pesto Pasta with Grilled Chicken. No guessing – Mom & Dad switched dishes more like. But we actually shared everything so we could all sample a taste of everything. I also ordered an Apple Pie with Ice Cream for dessert – which was so huge, we couldn’t finish it! After a really full dinner, we went out for a walk along the riverside.

It was really so quiet along the riverside. It almost feels as if the place is neglected and deserted! So unlike the chaotic riverside of Phnom Penh! I begrudge Phnom Penh even more after this trip to Kampot :P Since it was just a dim, lonely strip, we turned back and headed to the hotel.

I think we didn’t get the lunch and the dinner right for my parents today. Unlike when we were in Kep. Well, we were first-timers to Kampot too! But the food at Rikitikitavi was really good. Just that, I know my Dad is more a Chinaman foodie!

We got back to the hotel, showered and read and fell asleep. No hanky-panky tonight for obvious reasons!

5th November 2009
We got up early again, my parents had already gone for their usual photography walkabout...... and then we went upstairs for our breakfast. Breakfast was a set menu...... the usual – fried eggs and toasts..... and the leftover Apple Pie!

Then, we caught a tuk-tuk to take us to the Kampot Market...... my Dad is a market-lover. I have no idea why. He loves the sight of wet markets..... and so, we walked and walked..... around the market. It was hot (did I tell you the weather had been super hot since we arrived in Kep right up till the end of the trip?!) and after a short 30 minutes, we took the tuk-tuk back to the hotel.

Then, MOH and my Dad went for the Blind Man’s Massage which was only USD4 per hour...... it was quite amusing to see them. Mom and I waited outside for them and I was taking photos intermittently. My Dad, who started off doubting the massage, actually enjoyed it very much.
After that, we walked back to the hotel – which was just on the next block anyway and I headed upstairs for a Swiss Hot Chocolate which I had been eyeing from the menu since the night before! Ooohhh... YUMMO.

We meandered around a bit more with our own newspapers (MOH), book (me), camera (Dad) and then Mom came to join us for awhile.... just doing nothing but relaxing..... and then it was time to leave Kampot. We arranged for a taxi to take us to Sihanoukville.

So, once again, at 11.30am, we checked-out and went into the taxi. Of course, not before I took a photo with Dom – the Rikitikitavi Man! I just had to! Never have I met a hotel owner that was so utterly warm and friendly. I wouldn’t hesitate at all to recommend the Riki to any of my friends travelling to Kampot!

The journey which was supposed to be 4 hours took us only 2 hours because the dear driver was driving seriously fast. This bodes well since I couldn’t stand being stuck in a vehicle for long rides.

We arrived in Sihanoukville around 1.30pm and we checked-in to the Reef Resort. Hmmm.... from Rikitikitavi to Reef Resort – the service at RR was rather lacklustre. The owner didn’t even bother smiling – perhaps he was cleaning the pool. But hey – Dom was clearing his entire garden when we popped in and he still came to say hi! :P

Anyway, the room was more or less the same as in Riki, and clean as well – which was important. So, immediately after freshening and me changing into my bikinis and sarong (the last time I came to Kampong Som, I couldn’t be in my bikinis cos I was doing team building with a hundred Cambodian youths..... :P) and we walked to the beach for lunch. I was dying to have my yabbies and grilled squid! It seemed like they extended the “kiosks” area and made the beach narrower than I remembered it previously. Sigh..... such a beautiful stretch of beach and the tourism ministry doesn’t know what to do with it. Such a shame. And exactly like Malaysia, ain’t it?

For lunch, we had Fried Seafood Rice, Fried Seafood Noodles, and a side dish of Deep Fried Prawns as well. It was all so yummy. But oh my God – so bloody hot!! After lunch, we couldn’t even be bothered to walk back in the heat. We got a tuk-tuk and went back to the hotel. Across from the hotel was a little ice cream parlour cum cafe. My Dad, always an ice-cream lover (just like me!) said he’ll treat us to ice creams. I thought we’d just be having the one-scoop-cones, but when we got there and saw the extensive ice cream menu, we sat down to banana splits and chocolate sundaes instead! Oh, man....... all the sinful food and no exercise.... not good news.

While my parents went for the siesta in the room, I baked myself by the poolside. MOH came out for awhile and went in to the room shortly thereafter.

Around 5pm, I asked if my Dad wanted to go to the beach. He wasn’t feeling too well, you see. Why, of course he would! He wouldn’t miss out on any chance to experience new experiences. That is my Dad. And I’m so like him!

We caught a tuk-tuk again to the beach – I mean, it was only USD1 .... ! Unlike in Phnom Penh – I feel even more grudge for Phnom Penh as the holiday draws closer to an end! We walked along the beach and we decided to settle at this place called The Frog Bar or something like that. We ordered our drinks – fresh coconut, beer and a sugar-induced watermelon juice and Dad and I went for a swim! MOH joined us later and we all knew why we insisted Mom came – so that someone was there to watch over our belongings!! We were terrible indeed, huh! Anyway, if I’m not mistaken, it was my first time swimming as the sun was setting. Beautiful sunset as well. Right there – the gorgeous, golden ball.

The water was luxurious and the beach? Superbly clean!!! It was not yucky, gooey and rocky like in Kep or even in Nusa Dua, Bali. It was nice, clean and soft sand. My Dad is shaking his head in dismay at the lack of planning from the government to make full use of this selling point for tourism. For me – I say Welcome to Cambodia. Half the country doesn’t even belong to the country – what can I say? Corruption at its worst. What can we do?

Anyway, after the swim, we took some photos, finished up our drinks and then caught a tuk-tuk back. We had dinner reservations for 7pm so we quickly showered and all – in fact, MOH and I showered together much to the embarrassment and amusement of my parents!

Dinner – I have to say, was really great. Mexican Food. Let’s see if I remember what we had. The set dinner for 2 (which we order from a range they provided) – which came with 2 Anchor Beers, Jalapeno Poppers, Chicken Satay, Tom Yum Prawns with Rice, Chicken Quesadilla and we ordered a Spicy Mexican Meatball Stew separately. Lavish! It was Happy Hour, so I had the Frozen Marguerita which was so good, I ordered extra – Mom had one glass and I had three!! I was pretty tipsy thereafter!

The food really struck a good chord with everyone. After such a heavy dinner, we all went for a walk. Tried to walk the other way of the beach, but ended up turning back to the beach area anyway. On the way back, I got meself a Hazelnut Ice Cream on cone. I just had to wash dinner down with something sweet!

Then, it was time to get back to the hotel. You know, the weather is crazy. Last year, same time, it was cooling in Kep. This year, just plain whacked-out hot. Worse in Sihanoukville!

We did some reading and then as usual, fell asleep. This had been a really nice holiday because – it was early mornings and early nights.

6th November 2009
Woke up early for my morning swim again. The pool was even smaller than the one in KBC! I had to do 100 laps just to get enough time on my clock!

Breakfast was a standard set. Hmmm... the only buffet breakfast we had was in Kep so far! Oh well, better than nothing. After breakfast, MOH and I lazed about the pool while parents went out for a walk. They came back after a short while simply because it was just so hot!

We had arranged for the taxi back to the Penh for 2pm. So when it was almost time, we got in, showered, packed and then checked-out. After checking out, we had us lunch at this “Korean” shop... It was one of those stalls thingy – I think they were trying to do this “Aussie” beach concept but kinda failed a little miserably at it. There was a Fish & Chip kiosk next to the Korean place too. Anyway, we ordered a Fried Rice and a Fried Noodle and I walked over to the ice-cream parlour to get me an ice cream – yet again!

And then, it was really time for the entire holiday to end. How sad! I dread thinking of going back to the Penh. I’m just glad it’s the weekend and still a long weekend when we get back – given that Monday is the Independence Day celebration.

Midway – we stopped at the temple for a bit of a walk and prayers – that famous temple stop for all those entering and leaving Sihanoukville to pray for a safe journey. For the life of me, I have no idea what it is called!!

We got back into the Penh around 4.30pm. MOH had to rush off to the office. I’m just glad that the apartment is still in one piece. You know, in Cambodia, you never know. Touch wood, touch wood.

For dinner, I took my parents to William Tell’s – for Cheese Fondue and German Pork Knuckles. Ashley and her other business partners joined us as well. I’m glad to see my parents enjoying the food. Especially my Dad. He’s such a picky eater – just like the daughter. I wonder where I got it from :P

After dinner, we got back....... and once again, it was air mattress time for MOH and I. Again, no hanky-panky since it’s wide-opened-spaces :P

7th November – 11th November 2009
Evidently, Phnom Penh turned out to be a tad too boring, dirty and chaotic for my parents. But I managed to take them to eat at the places where I really wanted them to try.

On Saturday, we went to the Russian Market and had breakfast there.... as well as the best coffee.... and then Mom bought a few souvenirs for home..... We also took them to Lucky Supermarket for groceries shopping and then we got back and unloaded all our stuff. We walked to lunch on St 172 at that place called Mary’s. Which was not bad, really. And in the evening, took them for Happy Hours at Elephant Bar and then headed onwards to Malis for dinner – which they absolutely loved. At Malis, we ordered the Fried Cockles in Basil Leaves, Stir-Fried Morning Glory with Garlic, Deep Fried Soft Shell Crab, Bamboo Shoot Soup with Smoked Fish and a Duck Curry – which were all absolutely excellent. Chef Luu Meng (or much rather, his team) never fails to deliver. Of course, I must absolutely have my Jasmine Flavoured Pudding with Honey and Fruits (Luu Meng introduced this to me and I’ve been hooked eversince!) – this is an absolute haven and I will eat it again and again and again whenever I am there!

On Sunday morning, I made breakfast for MOH and my Dad – fried eggs and sausages... just to give our tummies a rest – as according to my Mom. Then, for lunch, took them to the “magic mushroom” noodle place. And then to Bayon Supermarket. We went to the Happy Tree Orphanage (for HIV kids) in the evening together with Chang who came to pick us up. I can’t wait to start the volunteer work there with MOH. We’ve both volunteered our time there – do some exercises for the kids, games and all that jazz. For dinner, Mom cooked..... nothing extravagant, simple home-cooked food with my belachan (I pestered my Dad to make me belachan – a dry version and a wet version and after much pestering, he did it and brought them over.... I love him!!)

Monday morning, which was a holiday, I went about with my gym routine..... and then came back. Mom & Dad already had their bagel breakfasts – which I bought for them from Fresco the night before.... MOH and I had a bit of a squabble.... but we went out for breakfast at The Shop and then went to buy some balls for our volunteer work and then we got back home for lunch. Mom & Dad actually went out for a walk and got themselves onto a River Cruise (only USD4 per person!) which I’m glad they managed to get... it’s all for the experience... Mom cooked dinner once again...... and this time, Ashley came over. It was Independence Day and the streets were chock-a-bloc jammed again..... but dinner was super yummy with Mom’s signature dishes – Low Gee Yuk and Vinegar Pork Trotters and the Bittergourd Stuffed with Minced Meat....... it was of course, too meaty for Ashley.

I’m also glad Mom & Dad got to see or at least experience how a working day is like for MOH and myself. We went off to work in the morning of Tuesday.... (Dad kept shooing us out of the house!) For lunch, I took them to Shan Dong which they absolutely enjoyed...... the Pork La Mein, Zha Jiang Mein, Dumplings and the Chive Pancake......I even took them to see my office and then they got a tuk-tuk (bless Pich who saw us while we were waiting for a tuk-tuk) to Central Market for a little walkabout and Mom once again cooked dinner. I think what was nice was coming back to find that the house wasn’t empty. That there was actually things going on in the house – much like what I was used to when I was staying at home back in Malaysia. You know, Mom & Dad annoying each other whilst the food was cooking on the stove, TV is switched on – and you knew my Dad is watching it when the volume is at its most deafening.... stuff like that. I love my alone time and I love my quiet spaces. But not when it comes to my Mom & Dad. I guess it all boils down to the fact that they can’t be around forever.

On Wednesday, I was a little down at thinking Mom & Dad were leaving..... and I tried not to think too much about it..... I came back to bring them out to a buffet lunch at Magnolia’s.... again, eaten with much enjoyment.... but I was rather disappointed that they didn’t have the Pho that day! Of all days! I knew my Dad loved Pho..... and I was really hoping he’d get a chance to eat it before he left. Oh well, at least he did enjoy the rest of the other food. He even happily helped himself to the dessert – much to Mom’s annoyance! Well.... that was that. Took them back to pack and then sent them off on a tuk-tuk to the airport!

I took over a thousand photos during this entire trip.... thank God for digital cameras! It doesn’t matter that not every shot was an “award-winning entry”.... in some shots, the “models” didn’t look very flattering... but all that mattered was that all the memories of that particular experience were captured, capturing that moment..... know what I mean? I think I strive as much as possible to make sure my parents experience as much as they can in life. That’s the least I can do, I think. To the point, sometimes, I get disappointed when they don’t want to do something that I had planned for them, maybe because they are concerned about my wallet or they plain do not want to do it, or in my Mom’s case, it is her less-adventurous nature taking over.... but anyway, I think it was a good trip overall.

You know, when they were around, I got a little annoyed with the nagging (“you are a terrible wife!” or “how can you not know the peanut butter is expired?!” etc..etc...) ... but it’s all done in good nature (or so, I’d like to think).... and I miss them. As I said – they will not always be around forever.

Well, guess it is now back to walking naked around the house.

Dom (from Rikitikitavi and me)

Today, I Fed A Street Kid

Today is Diwali, or at least I think it is. Or was it yesterday? In any case, not that we celebrate the Festival of Lights, but MoH who is a lover of Indian food wanted to have a "Diwali Feast" in celebration. So, for brunch, we headed to Maharajah (which was actually the second choice since Annam was not opened yet at 10am).

While we were placing our orders of Thali sets and Chapatis, a young Cambodian boy came in begging and repeated the word "ngiam" (eat). I stared at him. He wore a dirty oversized T-shirt and his pants were two sizes too small. He was coughing and sniffling. But he had a silver pendant of a Cross and also one of those army dog-tags.

I tried to ignore him, telling myself that if he can afford to wear silver pendants and the likes, he should be alright. But it was quite hard considering he was standing right next to me. Finally, I relented. I asked him what would he like to eat. He said he wanted "bai char" (fried rice). So I ordered a "bai char muon" (chicken fried rice) for him.

When our food came, and it was too much, I felt extremely guilty. Of course, usually when we are not able to finish food we ordered, we pack them home to be eaten as leftovers. But somehow, with the little Cambodian boy sitting on the next table staring at us, I felt extremely guilty. This then grew into a bit of anger-cum-frustration. I am not rich. I don't waste food. Why should I be feeling guilty about enjoying an Indian breakfast brunch?

The Cambodian boy however, oblivious to what was going on inside my head ate his fried rice in glee. The smile that he offered as he ate was warm. Kinda felt like my "Chewing Gum Boy" short-story all over again. Yet, there was an anger inside me brewing. I was angry that in this day and time, there are still hungry people out there. That there are still the poor and the homeless scrounging for a decent meal. Why? Why? Why? Why aren't the people with the big cahoonas Lexus or Hummer doing more about it? I am after all, only riding pillion on MoH's sorry-state of a Daelim "moto". I wanted so much for poverty and hunger to end right at that very moment.

Today, I fed a street kid. He smiled at me and said Thank You, in English. I do not know his name. He had moved on to the next person who will feed him. And I moved on to do groceries shopping.

Did I make a difference?

Dinner with Cambodia's Chef Extravaganza

I had dinner last night with Chef Luu Meng. Whilst I had known Luu Meng for over a year, it wasn't till last night that I sat down to dine with him. And it was such an enjoyable dinner for me.

Of course, it was in essence to discuss business (we're engaging Luu Meng to cook up a storm for a charity event for the Red Cross) but of course, it being dinner and all, we got to talking about his life as a chef. Not that I was interviewing him or anything like that, I just found his story and the food well-worth writing about.

All the while that I have known Luu Meng, he always appeared to be a very humble and down-to-earth guy - one of the nicest Cambodians that I have had the pleasure of meeting. Even though his schedule is outrageously tight (what with him being Cambodia's ambassador for their Khmer cuisine, President of the Cambodian Hotel Association, Chef for a few restaurants in town and managing a few other hotels in Phnom Penh), he never declines you. He may be late, but he never turns you down.

We had dinner at one of the finest restaurant for Cambodian cuisine - Malis - which, appropriately, is owned by Luu Meng. Malis happens to also be one of my favourite restaurants in town - however, I wouldn't be considered one of the "quality" clients since my bill never exceeds USD30 each time! The quality clients, I heard, chalk up tabs amounting to USD600 - USD1,000 per table!

Anyway, the ordering of the menu was left in the good hands of the Chef himself. We started with Scallops and Cucumber salad and Sach Krark (Grilled Pork Sausage) with pickled vegetables. I felt all out of sorts that Luu Meng was serving me the food! Then we had the Khmer Soup with Smoked Fish and Bamboo Shoot and for mains, we had a taster menu of the Prahok Ktis (my favourite - fermented fish paste with minced pork), Fish Amok and Stir-Fried Eggplant with Garlic and Fish Sauce (another favourite) with bai sor (steamed white rice). For dessert, I had this absolute-haven of a pudding - Luu Meng told me it was an infusion of honey, ginger, milk and jasmine flower. Yes! Jasmine flower! The smell, the taste - I just cannot describe it! I had always loved the smell of jasmine flower, but to be tasting it too, was too good. In my excitement, I asked Luu Meng if I could throw in a few buds the next time I make dessert on my own. His response? - He laughed. The answer was no. It would be extremely bitter. To extract the taste from the jasmine flower, there's a long process of double-boiling it and creating and matching the right balance with ginger. It sounds all too complicated for me and my "easy-cooking" style.

I would have loved, loved, loved to take photos of the food that I was enjoying last night. But I was a little embarassed to whip out my camera in front of the Chef himself. Well, I could always go back again on my own to take them photos :)

Whilst Luu Meng is now in a position of over-seeing his business empire, he told me that he still loves cooking very much and once a month, he will still take his team out - to the markets, to discover new ingredients, to experiment new dishes and he will work in the kitchen with them and develop new menus. The market visits sometimes takes them as far as the farms over in Vietnam.

His love for cooking was the reason why he stopped working with the hotels, citing that Executive Chefs in the big hotels are more "paper chefs" these days. He still loves feeling, smelling and tasting the ingredients. Out of all the chains of hotels he has worked with (he named a few, now I don't remember all, but Sofitel stood out and also the fact that he had worked in Malaysia in JB too! - which explains why he is familiar with our "cencalok") it was his last posting in Siem Reap which he found most satisfying as he got to learn from a Michelin Star Chef. One of his tale recalled him being woken up at 3am in the morning by the Chef because he dreamt of a recipe that they must, must, must try out. So there they were, at 3am in the morning, experimenting in the kitchen.

He told me that he actually started out studying Hotel Management, but he heard the F&B students constantly being yelled at by the Chef and he found that very exciting (ok, go figure) and very soon, he switched his majors. He told me it was hard work. Extremely hard work. So when I asked him why he preservered, his answer was so simple, yet so spot-on. He said "there can be ten waitresses or waiters, but there can only be ONE chef." Bravo to that, Luu Meng!

I was also very shocked to learn that he's only 36 years old! Married, with two kids. Maybe the years of hard work had really aged him or it was just the way he carried himself - he had always seemed like "Uncle Luu Meng" to me (so glad I did not tell him that!!). Still, I really like him. The fact that he has achieved so much yet he has no airs about him. That is hard to find these days.

As I very nearly considered licking my dessert platter clean (which I didn't!) and finished the last of my Green Mango Shake, I sheepishly asked if I could take a photo with him and of him. As he always does - he obliged :)

Here's toasting Luu Meng and his passion for cooking!








Luu Meng and I :)

The Crazy Traffic of Cambodia

Vehicle over-taking in appropriately...

I've been driving in Cambodia for a year now and everyday, it seems to get worse for me. Whilst vehicle operators in this country seem to be rather abnormally patient, I still believe there is that tendency to develop road-rage amongst all of them.

When I first started driving, I started with extremely mild-mannered cussing (e.g. "you idiot!" / "that's dangerous, you moron") everytime some hell-riders decide to try something plain idiotic on the roads of Phnom Penh. This has escalated to extreme cussing that is probably in appropriate to publish anywhere! From my house to the office, a short 1km drive, I cuss at a minimum of 15 other road users before I reach my destination. What a way to start the morning everyday!! I think it is very bad karma to wish death upon people every morning!!

What I don't get really is the non-existent common-sense amongst the Cambodian road users. Are they so idiotic or do they just merely have that "devil-may-care" "life-is-cheap" attitude?

• They would ignore the red light. YOU are expected to watch-out for them.
• They would squeeze into any space - even if it was only an inch wide. YOU are expected to avoid them.
• They would turn out of junctions without stopping. YOU on the straight road is supposed to make sure you don't ram into them.
• They would overtake a vehicle from the opposite side of the road even if they see you approaching. YOU are supposed to jam your breaks for them.
• They would ride their motorbikes 5-abreasts and chit-chat as if on a stroll. YOU are expected to drive at 10miles/hour behind them.
• They would stop right in the middle of the road without any warning. YOU are expected to wait or go around them.
• They would ride 5 to a motorbike and weave in and out of traffic. YOU are expected to keep their lives safe.

This list could go on forever.

But I think it is only in Cambodia that you have all types of different vehicles on the road. 4WDs for the triad members and the "oknhas" (Cambodia's version of Datuks and Datins), the normal sedans, the Kancil-lookalikes, and then you have the motorbikes, cyclos, tuk-tuks, the "ramuks" (motorbike carrying a long 2-wheeled platform to carry things as large as a house on it!), the 2-wheeled push carts, the motorbike with the side car, and of course, you also have the trucks and lorries (mostly ferrying a hundred sardine-packed people on it) and the inter-province buses. It's your bad luck if you happen to be stuck behind the vendor with the push cart, pushing his or her way in the already crazy traffic of Cambodia.

Yes, they do have the traffic rules (wear helmets, motorbikes not allowed to carry heavy items, etc). But the main problem is really the implementation. The corrupted traffic police isn't exactly a respected position in Cambodia. They are often fat, lazy and loves wielding their authority upon the poor citizens of this nation. It doesn't help either that the VVIPs seem to be exempted from any traffic rules!

The saddest part is the result of the mix of corrupted law enforcers and the no-common-sense Cambodian road users. It often ends up with serious injuries or death. Call me hardened, but I have reached a point where I don't feel sorry for any of them who meets with a k'rooh t'nak here. If you add the mix in again - they actually deserve it. I mean, if you zoom out of a junction without looking and you end up in the morgue - whose fault is it really?

Accidents = Zero Common Sense + Corrupted Police

And only in Cambodia does Article 2.4 of the Traffic Law says "All Vehicles On The Road Must Have Driver". I am assuming there is a car a la Knight Rider hiding around the corner somewhere.

3rd Week Into The Kingdom...

I’m not so sure what to make of Cambodia, even though I had been here for three weeks now. Admittedly, whatever I think of Cambodia now may well change in September once my love joins me. When you are not exactly pining for someone, you tend to make more positive observations!

Having lived here before some seven or eight years ago (had it really been THAT long?), I can’t help but wonder – what happened to the old charms of this place? Phnom Penh, in particular. Of course, it is also a little biased now to compare because my memory of Phnom Penh is so vague, some of the charms I remember might most likely be a figment of my imagination! One thing that hadn’t changed though – is that love-hate relationship I have with the country and her people. Most certainly, some things never changed!

You’ve got to love that beautiful sunrise at the Mekong River… when the sun is just creaking its way up the horizon. The cool, quiet time of dawn where traffic is at a minimum and you were just thinking to yourself “what a lovely morning!” and that peace and tranquility is quite shattered by a burst of exhaust fumes and the whirling of dusts that blew right into your eye because some 4WD would like to make a statement with his or her driving. Welcome to Cambodia.

I do love Phnom Penh when it is at its quietest. Like during the General Elections weekend where curfew was imposed and people stayed indoors, constructions came to a halt and all businesses were either closed or operated at a minimal level. It was indeed a lovely time to stroll on the streets, take a lazy walk down one of the beautiful tree-lined roads. But I hate Phnom Penh on any given days now as it is congested with disorganized traffic and unplanned development. The Kingdom of Cambodia, the City of Chaos. I do, do believe that Vietnam, though congested, is better planned but most Cambodians will disagree with you, including some “oh-I-know-Asia-so-well” barangs (the khmer slang for Westerner). You have crazy drivers and equally maniacal motorbike riders who do not seem to know what are traffic rules and road safety, let alone road etiquettes! But of course, who can blame them? After all, you can ride a bike when you are 13 (was it 12 or 13 years old?) and it only takes you eight hours of driving lessons around Phnom Penh to get your license. No tests, no exams. From lesson straight to license. How fabulously crazy? Only in Phnom Penh.

The people of Cambodia, the Cambodians…. Very interesting people these ones. Well, to think of it, when are people not interesting? The human race is generally interesting. Whether they be good, bad or plain evil. When I was here long time ago, you just gotta love them for their innocence. Of course, they were just picking up the pieces of their lives and trying very hard to get past the 1975 – 1979 genocide. Of course, everyone wanted to carve a piece of gold out of you, but I wouldn’t call the Cambodians cunning, nor sly. Not like their Vietnamese neighbours or the Chinese (and I am Chinese). They were generally a ‘softer’ breed, if you could call it that. These days, with the rapid development and the returnees coming back in throngs, you do find that they are starting to be cunning after all. To be fair again, which human race doesn’t learn to be sly with development? Everyone wants a piece of the pie.
I love my Cambodian staff for their sincerity and their outright honesty. I remember a first conversation I had with one of them.
“Are you smart, Udom?”
“Thank you.”
“No, Udom, I asked if you think you are smart.”
“Yes, I think I am smart, that’s why I said Thank You.”
It was a bizarre conversation albeit a refreshing one. You just had to laugh at their blunt wit. In the face of authority, they do clam up. But when you treat them with patience and kindness as well as generous doses of sincerity, they reciprocate. Yelling doesn’t work with them. It makes them climb back into their shell. But a very quiet threat of firing them from their jobs would get them working round-the-clock to impress you. Yes, they are smart. At the same time, you feel like whipping them on their behinds because they are just…. S-L-O-W. And I don’t mean mentally. I just mean it is that whole laid-back attitude and because everyone in Cambodia is just slower than the average people of developing nations, one just has to learn to slow down in synch with them. In the face of looming deadlines, you’re like “Ok guys! Let’s do it! Go! Go! Go!” and then it’s like………. nothing happens till two days later. This is when one really needs to summon all the patience in the world… I had almost forgotten how everything in Cambodia is in slow motion.

What about the other general masses? There are the nice ones and then there are the hooligans. And then there are also the returnees. I had the honour of hitching a ride with a motordop (Cambodian mode of cheap public transportation) guy who spoke brilliant English and who had the kindness to tell me to be aware and alert when I am walking out on the streets alone, especially at the slump area just outside of my apartment block. He even told me if I were alone, it would be wiser and better to take an alternative route though it might be a longer walk. I was utterly grateful. Not because he gave me a piece of advise which I don’t already know but because he showed kindness. A girl, alone in a foreign country the likes of Cambodia can be rather daunting. Of course, I asked if he had a mobile phone in which I could contact him by and his answer to me was “No, I’m very poor. But I am always at Himawari Hotel.” And you know how much he charged me for the ride? All of 2,000 riels.
There was also this one other tuk-tuk (another mode of public transportation in Cambodia – one class above the motordop) driver who really thought that I had the word “stupid foreigner” engraved across my forehead. The one time I took a ride from him, I had no idea how short the distance was and I thought I had earned a bargain when I managed to negotiate the ride from USD3 to USD1. Of course, once bitten, twice shy. This little Khmer driver had the audacity to call out to me one day when he saw me walking my usual route and said “Take my tuk-tuk! You remember? Only USD1. Very cheap!” I snorted at him. Cheap indeed huh, you conniving little bastard! Though I didn’t say it out loud.

What about the returnees? Frankly, so far, my experiences or rather, my observation of the returnees hasn’t been all that positive. I think they are far too much of a show-off. It’s like “I am one class above the local Cambodians” kind of showy. They speak with a very effortful accent, be it American or French or whatever and if they are able to speak another language (French being the most popular), they love to flaunt it whenever possible. Especially when they know there’s a girl like me standing within earshot. For those who speak with the American accent, they like to do that whole Kanye West or P.Diddy shit. I’m like “Oh, puh-lease! You’re no black bad-ass hip-hop rapper! You’re a freakin’ scrawny Cambodian! So dontcha come wassup dawg to me cos I’m gonna whup your ass so hard you’d be cryin’ bitch!”

But up to this point, after 3 weeks of observing people, and forgive me, but I do know 3 weeks is too short a time to get the right picture… but after 3 weeks, I find that the middle-class to upper-middle class actually have no class at all. Whether they be men or women. For example, they would rock on into the gym with their Nike outfits and Adidas shoes and heavily adorning their bling-blings (yes, who wears blings to the gym??!) and they would hog a machine, taking their own sweet time with it and talking at the top of their voices like they owned the gym without a care of disrupting other people’s work-out. Or at the shopping centres or supermarkets, they would hog the aisle and they would be oblivious to the fact that you just said “excuse me” and in the event that they do, they stare at you like you’re some moronic fool disrupting their grocery shopping. Maybe “oblivious to the rest of the world” is more a phrase I should be using on them. But really, I find the ladies especially, totally classless despite their branded attire and fine jewelries. And what’s with the heavy dose of perfume that smells like my toilet wash?? For some reason, they are very annoying.

I hate Cambodia for all the poverty that one can still see in every nook and corner. It makes me feel helpless and I don’t know what to do. But I’m happy with the fact that some of the NGOs are making headway with the work that they are doing – especially people like FRIENDS who work on keeping kids off the streets by providing them with vocational training, etc, etc. I do so want to get involved with the NGO work, once I am more settled. And also make more frequent visits to the orphanages. No, I’m no Angelina Jolie. I just want to be part of the efforts on helping kids help themselves. Though, I think, the NGOs still have a very, very long way to go. It might have to do with all that governmental red tape.

You have to love Cambodia for the little conveniences. You get food delivered right to your doorstep – and a wide variety of choices at that. You can get your fruits delivered to you fresh every week or your meats, or vegetables. In other words, you don’t have to go out. It’s like online shopping, but this is done through the phone. You can eat at your favourite restaurant and keep the tab running for 2 months if you’re out of cash. You can get a manicurist to come to your house because it is raining and you do not wish to be out. You can get the guard to carry your groceries to your fifth floor apartment. You can get your shoe polished while you sipped coffee at a little al fresco café (though I don’t approve of the idea of a little 5-year old kid shining anybody’s shoes to earn a few pennies). You can keep a running tab at your regular DVD shop too! Oh – and if you do not want to push your trolley while grocery shopping, you can even get the security guards to do that for you. How much you tip them thereafter, is up to you. The general attitude is that the better tipper you are, the better the service at your next visit!

I also love Cambodia for the incessantly wide choices of F&B outlets. There are the budget places that dishes out great comfort food to the luxury fine-dining at the King’s residence places to the champagne brunches et al. The best part is – if we’re talking about Russian food, it is authentically Russian. If we’re talking about Lebanese food, it is authentically Lebanese. So on and so forth. They’ve even got directories and directories featuring all these food outlets! No other places I have been to offers such a tremendously diverse choice with so plentiful options for each choice in such a small place! I have my list of favourite budget places, mid-budget places and high-end places. Sure. Comparatively, it is pretty cheap to eat at the high-end places. I mean, free flow Moet Chandonne for champagne buffet at USD38 per person? Where else can you find that? And you can free flow from 11am till 5pm. Which by then, you probably find yourself either crawling out the door or just simply passed out cold at the table itself. On the hindsight of it, I hate seeing the street kids of the slump areas picking leftover garbage as food. It makes me feel really guilty. Helpless. It makes me very aware of myself. I am able to keep my tummy full and I am able to make a choice of what I want to eat, where I want to eat and what price I want to pay for that day. But they don’t have a choice. And this happens to be their land, their country. I guess above all, this is also a journey of humility.

For whatever reasons, I intend to be here for a long, long time. It is still an exciting time to be here, despite however disorganized the development might be. It is nevertheless, developing. Maybe, in time….given a longer assimilation with the locals and the culture, I would embrace this love-hate relationship I have for this land of stark contrast and learn to let live. And maybe in time too, the disparity between the haves and the have-nots might not be so wide a gap. Viva la Cambodia!