Reflections II

I'm not sure how long this rant will be but I do know that it will be personal.

Looks like the raining season has descended upon Phnom Penh. Last week, I was caught in the heavy rains and floods on my way back from the orphanage on my borrowed grandmama bike. Given the Eileen back then, I would've looked up into the sky and screamed "WHY ME???!!!" But last week, the first thought that entered my mind was "If any of my friends could see me now, they would laugh like KKC or till KKC drop." This grandmama bike with the basket and the bell that doesn't work (much to my dismay) has the tendency to make me laugh whenever I'm on it. The situation was rather unfortunate, getting drenched in the rain and having to wade through yucky, gooey floodwaters. But imagining how I looked made for some comic relief.

It also gave room for some reflections on my life thus far.

I always knew that I was meant for great things in life. My vision of "great" back then was to be an overwhelming success and the symbols of my success comes in the shape of a huge mansion, maids-in-waiting, luxury cars (to be exact, I've always loved the MR2 convertible) - basically all materialistic things. Growing up in a middle-class family shaped a lot of these visions. The TV helped. Haha. But also my parents. Back then, I think parents were always comparing, you know - "So-and-so's daughter is doing so well and drives a Merc...." or "You remember Uncle so-and-so? His son is now very successful.... and every month taking the parents for holidays......" You get the drift (I specifically remember a Petronas ad which was such a spot on for this situation). Hence, I felt - in order to ensure my parents get to brag, I needed to be succesful with all the status symbols to go along with it. In other words, I wanted my parents to be proud of me too. But it was not all my parents, really. I was an ambitious child. Very.

So therefore, I started chasing down these "great" visions of mine. I got my straight 'A's from school to uni, got my scholarships, when others took 4 subjects, I signed-up for 8, I went on to work, got promotions after promotions by working nights, weekends, graveyard shifts, I was careful with my money, saving up to buy that million-dollar mansion. I basically ran like a horse and I never looked back. I cried when I failed, I beat myself up when a small milestone wasn't achieved (who cries getting a C3 for their 1119 exams???! Moi. I did.) On hindsight, I should've stopped for awhile, took a breather and THINK. That I wasn't one who grew up needing branded items should've been an early sign. That I didn't (and still don't) have the patience for shopping should've been another sign. That I once gave up an entire's month's salary to the North Korean famine victims should've been yet another sign. That I would get excited, purchasing an RM3 pair of sandals and making sure they lasted for 5 years minimum was a sure sign. That I always had a soft spot for those less privileged than I was another sign. And of course, that I married a poor man out of love and my wedding ring is made of 925 silver from Perlini's sealed the deal :P (have you ever heard of Perlini's??? :P)

It took a long time, but I finally realized that what Someone up there had in mind for the "greatness" I was meant for, didn't include private jets, a two-storey mansion, a holiday home, diamonds and a Swiss bank account. Some heads-up would've been nice to spare me the anger, frustrations and heartaches. But again, reflecting back, I suppose, it was a journey I needed to take. I feared failure, I feared not making my parents proud, I feared not being able to pay my bills, I feared not being able to achieve my goals. I was not a happy person, I can tell you that. I am on the edge almost everyday trying to make it work for me, chasing down my goals. But I learnt that without fear, there is no courage.

I suppose, all the unhappiness escalated into a pretty bad spell in 2010 and I don't want to repeat the story again. (Actually, it just crossed my mind that when my FB was hacked into and deleted in 2010, it must be some divine intervention of sorts since almost every status update back then was really negative and not-so-perky!). But embarking on a more spiritual journey had helped open my mind to a lot more things. Prayers helped too. Reading up all these spiritual books also helped clear my mind of certain things that were holding me back. Excuses, Fear and Ego.

That I came in contact with a particularly difficult client - who was brazenly rich but oh-so-got-the-wrong-perspective-in-life pushed me ahead with my decision to scale down on my time spent for work and increase my time spent on voluntary work. I know this would mean a cut-back on earnings but I've had enough of unhappiness and frustrations. And I realized something else too - I don't have to prove anything to anyone else but myself. But more so was the fact that I had a lot of self-realization of what a bloody lucky and privileged child I had been and therefore, as long as I can put food on my table, I can spare myself, my time and my money for others. (I cannot say thank you enough to LY for that unforgettable FB status - if that rich client pushed me to the edge, your FB status pushed me over it.)

Actually, ego and 'face' were the main problems and I believe are the main problems for a lot of people. But who am I to judge? Anyway, back then, I think I would've died before I would be seen riding a grandmama bike to work - that was like a sign of failure to me. I also hated thinking that people thought of me as a "housewife" and a bad one at that. I mean, which one sounds more 'fui-yoh'? "Oh, I own a public-listed company" or "I work from home" or "I volunteer at the orphanage during my free time." Guess what? What is 'fui-yoh' to you, may not be 'fui-yoh' to others or to me. So therefore - who cares? What you think and do is between you and your God. What I think and do is between me and my God.

A very good friend of mine (Batu!!!!) came to me with some Desperate Housewife drama last week. The old Eileen would've fueled the situation by taking her side and telling her to slap the enemy. But now, I told her to walk away and ignore. In fact, give them the other cheek! LOL! As for me, I try now - keyword being 'try' - to walk away from a bad situation and not assigning any emotion to it. I don't need to defend myself to what or how others judge me. Believe me, it is easier said than done. But you know what? The day I get slap and offer the other cheek, would be the day I am Lord Buddha himself :P I am after all still a work-in-progress human being with all the emotional flaws - one with impatience and temper :P (My mind is a calm lake. Let nothing ripple it :P)
I'm moving to Myanmar in 5 days' time. I'm sad to leave because of the children. But excited to start a whole new chapter of my life (with MOH of course). I don't get into any country with a chip on my shoulder. So, I've got myself an appointment with the owner of Citimart - a local supermarket chain there. Well,..... I wasn't kidding about trying to get a job as a part-time cashier. I also don't mind bartering my work-hours with grocery-shopping vouchers :) My Mom's response to me was  "Why so not ambitious anymore?" Hmmm.....

Actually, no, I'm even more motivated now than I have been in a long time and I am still ambitious. But in different ways and down a different path. I know I have to create a balance between earning my keeps and volunteering my time. I love what I do now, for my business work and for my voluntary work. Business-wise, as long as there's business coming in, it means I have cash and a portion of these are going into a fund for the kids at Happy Tree - for their future. Perhaps enrolling them for vocational training or something which would help them secure jobs. I don't know. Haven't thought this through properly, but the standing instruction has been made to set aside this money every month.

But most importantly, I realise now, I really don't need all those maids, or cars, or that mansion to be happy. Wait, wait - I stop short at a squat toilet, ok?? No squat toilets :P I'll make do without the Jamie Oliver kitchen or the outdoor jacuzzi. But it better be a throne in the toilet. (For those of you who are lost - this paragraph refers to our nightmarish apartment-hunting in Yangon).

In case my business partners are worried that I am entering semi-retirement - don't. Like I said, I am still hungry for business and opportunities. For my core business - NS - I am just very thankful for the support of my partners, C & C, for helping me build the business and bring it to where it is today. Expansion plans are in the pipeline and we're all working on that. My businesses here in Cambodia isn't going to die without me being here. Yes, I got screwed over pretty badly but we got back on our feet and my local team is hell-bent on swimming, not drowning :) I'm pleased and I am proud. When I have wedding clients for TWP, I would fly back - the same as how we fly everywhere for destination weddings. I still love my work for JFT too and hopefully, this will continue on with possibly Myanmar venues included for our next edition :) Now, I just need to pray that internet access in Myanmar isn't going to make me hang myself on a daily basis while working on all the above.

As for Myanmar - I'm happy to be a housewife (but MOH better be keeping good his wedding vows about the household chores or I'll not be keeping no calm minds :P), a part-time cashier, a volunteer worker, etc... But that doesn't mean I am not looking at opportunities. Just that - instead of running blindly now, I hope I have the maturity and wisdom to make great choices and options ;) 

And I also hope that my parents are proud enough to know that they have brought me up well - as a person, minus the luxuries, the annual holiday trips and all that jazz :) After all, they were the ones who brought us to old folks' home and orphanage visits when we were kids. A lesson well learnt back then indeed.

12 More Days....

My days in da Penh is numbered. 12 more days to be exact, before I join MOH over in YG (together with about 50 million other people who are rushing into the "Golden Land" right now).

Most of my farewells have been done and my handovers are all completed efficiently - or as efficiently as I see fit. I have in fact stopped making any decisions for my business here, leaving my boys to make them. They need to learn and like an ex-boss of mine told me before, they have to swim, or they will drown. I have 2 more long sessions with my team before I leave and thereafter, they'll be almost on their own (I say almost, because I will still be in constant touch with them via email, FB, skype - whatever that works for me in YG!!).

Meanwhile, the packing is not quite finished. Ok, it actually is - for all the items that we intend to bring with us to YG. These are in fact making its way to YG as I write. A total of 4 boxes of our lives in Cambodia are now moved to YG. The thing about packing, I swear to you - you really don't realize just how much shite you have until you have to decide which ones you want, which ones you actually don't need - and why the hell do I have that??? I know, I am a known hoarder. And now that MOH had left me with the remainder of the packing, it is so tempting to pack another box for bringing over to YG. But I promised not to hoard. And I think all those electronic items and kitchen utensils could help the kids at Happy Tree with their cooking lessons :) But no way in hell I will leave Stinky behind !! That's obvious :P

My bike - all prepped up for the journey to YG :)

I'm spending my final weeks here upping my time at Happy Tree - I'm there daily now and on the weekends, I spend two sessions with them. Mostly to spend time with them before I go, but also to achieve something out of all the teaching that I was supposed to do there. Knowing my days are numbered isn't exactly helping as I put the pressure on myself to see some results and inevitably, this pressure shifts to the poor children instead. And oh-boy, oh-boy,... why would it be at times like these that I discover that one or two of the children may have colour blindness, that they can get 1-10 in the order itself, but they cannot mix-up the numbers, so if you showed them the number '3' first, they'll say it's '1'..... and just this morning, I thought of yet another "breakthrough" idea as to how I could reach out and teach these kids using another method so that it sticks. But, I need a longer time to experiment with all the learning methods simply because aside from language difficulties, these kids also have learning disabilities due to their meds. And it seems, 12 days will fly by.

I've seen some progress in the area of the piano lessons (once again, I made one of the kids cry during lessons this morning! *slaps forehead*), the cooking classes and the English lessons and I tell myself, I should be proud of having brought them to this point. But unlike my boxes of belongings, I'm not ready to pack it up with them yet. As such, part of my handovers includes handing over my methods and my lesson plans to one of my staff who also volunteers at Happy Tree. Hopefully, he will helm this with as much heart as I have. (And give me Skype access to the children whenever he's at Happy Tree!!!). My "breakthrough" ideas will now take place via him :)

Come the 18th May, where I will be spending my last day with the kids, it would be awfully difficult for me to say bye-bye to the kids. I know I will come back to see them. I don't know when and I cannot promise them a time. They grow up so fast, the kids. Really. Their questions these days have left me dumbfounded and unable to respond, leaving an ache in my heart - "When will you leave?" | "When will you come back?" | "Will you come back this month?" | "Will you remember me?" | "Will you remember my face?" | "Will you remember my name?" |

Srey Peuv, Yuth & Samnang

My dear children, in all honesty, it is I who is so afraid that all of you would forget me, my name and my face.

 

..odia....Hello......

Hawaii of The Orients - Ngapali Beach

4 years ago, when I made the decision to move to Cambodia, MOH uprooted himself and came along with me on this crazee journey. Now, I suppose, it is only fair that I do the same for him. So, to answer your question of "Why are you moving?"..... it is because of love. Hahaha. MOH's been granted an offer and it'll be evil on my part to tell him to give it up.  

Now, to answer your million-dollar question - "WHERE TO??!!!"...... In a lot of their tourism campaigns, it says 'Why travel so far to the beaches of Hawaii when you can find them here?' Well, folks, Welcome to the Hawaii of the Orients. Welcome to Myanmar (and it is NOT Burma, mind you!). That's right, our next port of call is Yangon, Myanmar. Truly unchartered territories for many, but especially so for me! And whaddaya know? Myanmar is HUGE! Like 65million population huge! So, just imagine going from Phnom Penh to that!

Before MOH accepted the offer, we were invited to go have a look and see if we'd like living in Yangon. (hahaha. Some of you would've seen my photos on FB!). No doubt, it was a very, very short trip - but I was basically sold on relocating based on 3 things :

1) The Shwedagon Pagoda - where I had my really long chats with Mr. B and the serene peacefulness I felt while here

2) The galore of street food at Chinatown and the Night Market - I'm a street food junkie. I saw the night market and I said "Ok. When's the move?" LOL! (if I ever have bad days in Myanmar, just remind me of this remark!!)

3)  A taxi driver. Say who?? Haha. Well, let me explain about this taxi driver - he was a young man, maybe late 20s, early 30s. I got into his dilapidated taxi and he charged me USD1 for the ride. At a traffic light stop, there was a beggar. This taxi man, without hesitation, without a blink of an eye, just gave the beggar USD0.50 = half the taxi fare gone, ya. Later, when I offered to pay for that as well, he said no need and returned my money. Now, THAT certainly put a lot of things into perspective for me. Sometimes, when we want to help others, we are so worried that we don't have enough for ourselves. But apparently, the strongly religious Myanmarese believe in helping others. They live by a simple philosophy : "that even if I am poor, there are others who are poorer who may need help more than me." I saw this as yet another 'sign' from the universe :) Therefore, completely sold on the idea of relocating.

The move is both daunting and exciting at the same time for the both of us. Myanmar is huge and let's put it this way, it cannot remain closed forever. So, it's exciting to be almost at the forefront of it. Exciting too cos I'd like to meet ASSK for a cup of tea. Hahaha! Daunting because the city is really huge. I could get lost in it forever! (For those who knows my bad sense of direction would believe this is a great possibility and there's no GPS here!) Daunting because it's learning a whole new language - although I know how to ask for chilli - that is like SO important and of course to say 'Thank You', learning a whole new culture, learning a whole new world actually! I know so very little about Myanmar (and am now only starting to read up on books about this country...) Exciting because ... it's a big city and because of all the daunting learnings and experiences to go through. Daunting because communication is not just slow like the tortoise, it is also very expensive. In fact, this is not daunting. This is..... going to be a major frustration, I think. Oh dear. And here I am, complaining that internet was s-l-o-w in Cambodia. Well, it is that AND patchy in Myanmar !! Please, please I beg you guys, not to send me any large files otherwise, there'll be lots of *slap forehead ten thousand times* moments for me. And for those of you who get so pressurized with my 'quick-turnaround-time-of response', you may now breathe with ease :P It'll be your turn to chase me for a response instead :P But then again, you know what? Things can only improve. Can't stay "slow" forever. Before you know it, Eileen will be back to haunt you and hunt you :) And maybe, just maybe, Maxis might one day roam in Myanmar too. Oh-oh-oh - Myanmar is also notoriously known for its electricity black-outs. Uh-oh.

Your next question : "What am I going to do here?" I'm going to be an expat housewife :) No, no, no. Don't get me wrong. It's not going to be like one of those hi-so expat wives with their bridge games and hi-teas. For me, in fact, for both MOH and myself, whilst this is an exciting opportunity, I'm not glassy-eyed about it. It is still what we'll call a "hardship" posting. There'll be no maids, no cars, no drivers, nothing luxurious about it. Soooo.... I would be dressed down everyday and I'll be cycling my bike to places - err provided it is legal to do so, otherwise, I'll have to learn the local public bus system (daunting!!). I foresee lots of time at the Shwedagon Paya, maybe looking for enlightenment.... While waiting for my emails to download as I still need to run my businesses albeit remotely, I could do some writing - maybe that novel can finally see the light of the day! I could train 5 hours a day (hahahahha!) but most likely, I'd attach myself to an NGO or an orphanage and help people who are less privileged. The universe had aligned itself nicely for me, I see :) I could also try my hands at being a supermarket cashier. Who knows what might take place from there, right? (I'm actually not kidding about this!) Basically - "how you respond to the life that has been granted to you is what makes you." So - I'm all for it. Besides - the next Asian Bridal Summit will be hosted by Myanmar (cos they won the bid in China last year) - and maybe I'll see all my wedding industry friends here in Myanmar - if the Summit does take place! (Culture & Heritage weddings anyone? JFT for sure! LOL!)

And really, it's not like I would be stuck in some jungle, you know. There's still FB! Hahaha! I would still be contactable - maybe slower. Whatever it may be, we'll all keep in touch, surely. I'd keep you all posted about our adventures (or misadventures) in Mystical Myanmar - whether on FB or my blog (whichever is faster. *laugh again*) I'm going to relocate with an open-mind and again, who knows what or where things might lead to, yes? I'm going to stay positive and have unwavering faith and when that faith dwindles, I'll rock up to the Shwedagon Paya and pay Mr. B a visit. Whatever it is, MOH & I are thankful for this opportunity, this experience, this new journey.

Of course, you guys are all welcomed to come visit. We're still working on sorting out our accommodations in Yangon (not just daunting. Very daunting!), but rest assured, you guys are welcomed to stay with us for sure - if you don't mind the "budget accommodation". I'd gladly take you out and about in town and definitely take you out for food (House of Memories is a must-stop), shopping and getting down with them locals, etc....  but, hahaha - be prepared, you may have to bring your own bedsheets or sleeping bags :P Let's put it this way - I'm hosting you, as my friend, my pal. I'm not hosting the Queen of England :P Hahaha! (plus demand of hotel rooms exceeds supply. So you do your math! :P)

Now I've to get back to ironing the dollar notes to make sure they are crisp enough for and fight MOH tooth and nail for what needs to be thrown out and what needs to be brought along with us.
 ......So with that, see you guys in Yangon soon !

At the Shwedagon Paya, Yangon - for peace, serenity and enlightenment :)

Goodbye Cambodia... Hello....

After 4 years of living in the Kingdom, it is finally time to move on. Ok, admittedly, whilst we always knew a day would come for us to leave this place, this move was a rather unexpected one - and happening very soon at that!

So, therefore, in the middle of rushing projects, there's also the harrowing rush of planning - yes, making plans for future days ahead, the rush of tying up lose ends, handovers and not to mention the nightmare of packing and moving.... our junk. It doesn't look to me like there would be time to unwind in the Kingdom and say bye-bye to all my favourite things here. Cambodia had been a pot of bittersweet memories, I believe rightly so for both MOH and myself. But I can't write on MOH's behalf. This is all about me, me and me. There had been real hell and then, there's been all these hidden gems too. So what would I miss the most when I leave? Hmmm...

Business-wise, since day 1, I've always been prepared for a day where I will need to leave and therefore my local team had always been trained (Hell's Kitchen-like) to run the business without me. Just that, I'll probably have to up the ante over the next couple of months! I suppose with businesses running here in da Penh, this isn't really a "goodbye" Cambodia. I foresee that I will be in and out pretty often - at least for the remainder of the year. If you asked me, I believe my team can do it without me now. My only worry is that without 'Gordon Ramsey' pushing them,.... they might slack. Well, we'll cross this bridge when we get there!

Me and My Mango Rain Boys...

So, what would I miss in Cambodia? To be honest, I can't say I had the great experience of falling in love with this country. There was a lot of love-and-hate going on. It can be very trying at times. But Cambodia also happens to be the place where I realized "where I belong" and "what I want to do with my life". Ok, yes, this realization could happen anywhere, just that I was in Cambodia. Haha.

I guess I would miss the convenience of being in such a tiny city! Even sitting in traffic meant that you get anywhere within 15 minutes. I would miss the kind and gentle coffee man at the Russian Market. Most of you who've come visited us here would also have had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Bonnareth - the best ice coffee in Phnom Penh :) If I were to describe what a true Cambodian is like - Mr. Bonnareth would be it. His sincerity, his generosity (you order an iced coffee for USD0.75 and you get an extra espresso shot!) and his warm and friendly smiles. On days where Cambodia gets a bit much, it's nice to go pay him a visit. Besides, his coffee really gives you a buzz. A strong buzz.

The Best Iced Coffee in Da Penh!

I would miss my current landlady. We moved in here September 2010 - having had really bad luck with our previous 2 landladies, Madame was truly a kind soul. In fact, it was around this time that I had wanted to call it quits in Cambodia but Madame showed us kindness and hospitality like no one had here. I don't know if it was the feng shui of this place or simply because I had embraced and embarked on my spiritual journey, or perhaps, both... but since Madame welcomed us into her building, things have gone from zero to hero (ok, a bit far-fetched, but you get my drift). Every other day, she would pop by the apartment and come bearing fruits and vegetables from her orchard. On days where she sees me looking stressed and tired, she would insist I went into her house and she would make me eat. In fact, just a couple of days ago, she came armed with cushions! She said she noticed our cushions were... how shall I say, "not cushions anymore" so she brought some for us as replacements. I don't think I have ever, ever met a landlady as kind, as warm and as generous as she is. She also always praise MOH and myself for keeping our place so spotlessly clean without a maid. She says, "You all very good. No need maid. But your house is very clean. I like it." Oh, Madame, you have no idea how much I like it too! Hahaha! Now, I have the burden of sorting out our rental with her. I am going to hate doing that.

Madame and Uncle

But I think over and above all else, the one thing that I would miss the most in Cambodia would be all the children at Happy Tree. For the past 4 years, I had seen them grow and just when I began to get more involved with them..... I have to leave! I think this would be the most heart-breaking part of the move :( I don't know what to tell the children. As it were, when I don't show up for a week, the children asks the staff about my whereabouts. How do I tell them that I would be gone for a long time before I see them again? I haven't finished teaching them all the art stuff I learnt in school (and I just bought new stuff for them too!). I haven't finished with the ABCs. Basically, I HAVEN'T FINISHED. Honestly, I don't know how to deal with this part of the leaving. I can almost here them say "Oh, it's so easy for you to just leave!" OMG. I want to tell them that it's not. It's not easy at all for me to leave. I want to tell them that they are all always in my prayers, every single day. I want to tell them that I will be back for visits. I want to tell them so many things. But the one most important thing I want to tell them is, I want to tell them that I promise them that I will stay true to my commitment to them, one way or other. I realized that even though I may not be physically available, there are other ways and means in which I can help them to help themselves. That is a promise. (again, have to thank all my friends and loved ones back home who have supported me with these kids. Their days are made better by your kindness!). But still, it does not make the separation any harder. I'd cry buckets on my last visit. :(

(taking a moment to regain my composure....)

The Happy Tree Children - I will miss them dearly :~(

In any case,.... thank you Cambodia for the experience - both good and bad. MOH and I are truly blessed to have had this opportunity and also the opportunity of experiencing it together. In fact, our marriage started here in da Penh. So thank you, thank you, thank you for a blast!

MOH and I at one of our Friday Date Nights :)

As to where I am headed to next....... well, looks like you'll just have to stay tuned to my next blogpost, wouldn't you? ;)

Grace Under Fire

** This post is going to be a rant, so brace yourself.

The Wedding Planners

In my decade-long wedding career, I've only had one wedding experience that was extremely unpleasant. After last month, I now can add one more to that figure. But I guess, it takes nasty experiences to help us grow and learn.

I was glad to have my partners fly in to give support for the wedding because I could see things not going right and I was very sure I needed the extra experienced reinforcement. Of course, given a better circumstance, I would have liked them to fly in for a nicer, more pleasant experience. But well, that wasn't the case. In any case, 3 days from the aftermath, I am still thankful they were here and they got my back. Thanks, L & TH !!!

Well, I was very clear on what my deliverables were to the clients and whilst the planning process was totally unenjoyable, the clients weren't nasty. However, I have not known a more disorganized couple and their families and add to that, a bride who haven't even selected her HMU artist a day before the wedding - to name a few unconfirmed items - we can all spell the word C-H-A-O-S. Despite my best advise previously, they didn't want to listen and what happens when it's your big day and you suddenly realise you have ten thousand things not done yet? You freak out, tempers flare, you forget things and your time schedule runs out of whack. Let me do a run-down of what went wrong.

Nevermind that the table decoration was only confirmed 2 days before the wedding day, or the fact that the confirmed caterers were suddenly thrown our way - even though this wasn't a part of the workscope, and nevermind also that she couldn't confirm who she wanted for hair & make-up (even after a hundred trials), or what was the chosen walk-in music despite the fact that 10 over songs were played for them ..... right up to the morning of the wedding day, we had no guest list or seating plan - the max capacity of the hotel was 30 tables and late night on the eve of the wedding, she told me that there are guests who might turn up with additional people, etc,... etc.....  And they wanted to do place card seating!!! Without a seating plan, that was totally impossible. And whilst we were instructed to serve wines - the red wines were nowhere to be found and not delivered to the hotel till the very last hour. And the approval of itinerary seemed to mean shit to the clients because the schedule kept changing... from hour to hour. Even at 5.15pm on wedding day, the itinerary was changed. The bridesmaid who was so particular about mixing the special cocktail (enough for 200 pax) showed up at 5.15pm and said "I didn't have time to do this. YOU DO IT. I will give you the recipe now. " No please, no thank yous. We are hired slaves. But guess what? We got it done. And we have a new mixologist in da house, y'all!

Since we had come all this way throughout the planning process, myself and the team worked on trouble-shooting. Every minute was spent implementing what was agreed in conjunction with managing last minute requests and changes. And it totally didn't help when the clients decide to get petty - eg... Car on standby - "Why did you ask the car to be on standby so early? I will call you when I need it! Who will pay for the additional hours?!!!" First of all, the car does not magically appear when I snap my fingers. Second of all, the additional hours costs a total of USD20. I knew that if the car was late to "appear", she would also throw a tantrum. So, I told her I'd absorb the USD20 if it so makes her happy. Mind you, these were wealthy people we were dealing with. But if that USD20 contributes to someone's happiness - hey, why not.

Aside from the couple themselves and the families, we had all these high-flying overseas guests who thought they were all one-head above us and looked at us with disdain and disgust. Well, I handled RSVPs also and despite ten thousand emails telling them what to do, what to expect, etc.... the guests seem to be hell-bent on making life difficult. Not all, but most. I mean, hey - what's up with the "I Am Better Than Thou" attitude. Give me a break. Last I checked, we all have two eyes, one nose, one mouth, hands, legs, one heart, one stomach, etc. Oh, you mean your better financial status means you are better than me? Oh.. puh-lease. There was even a celebrity amongst them who thought he was the God of all things and started instigating other guests on the bus to throw tantrums too because the schedule was so delayed - yet again! As mentioned, the clients kept changing their schedules and it ended up with guests having to wait long. Guests throwing tantrums, picking fights and then telling tales to the clients about "your wedding planner shouted at me" are all just displaying one fact to me - despite your monies, you are so terribly brought up. In Chinese, we say MO KAR KAO. I mean, if you were so "rich" and you didn't want to wait, why not arrange for your own private transfer?? Nevertheless, we all bit the bullet, grinned and beared with all these nonsense. I even beared the brunt of the bride screaming and crying at me, telling me she wanted me to get rid of my team member who shouted at her and her guests. (To those of you who knows TH - tell me if he is capable of shouting at a pissy guest? Didn't think so.)

Without a correct guest list and seating plan, it was obviously chaos when it was time to get into the ballroom. When I had to check this with a family member of the bride, she sarcastically told me "I have done it all perfectly already, ok? Doing your job!" Again.... errr,..... with all due respect, these are your guests. Unless you don't mind me seating your guests wherever I please. I mean, seriously! Do you really expect me to seat your VIP guests when I don't know who they are and I don't know which table they are seated at??! Nevermind. I said Thank You, smiled and walked off.

Because the bride had to get her hair done at a salon somewhere else (couldn't decide on a HMU, remember??), she was delayed by 3 hours, and everything ran an hour late for the reception. As per confirmed itinerary, food to be served after the bride's grand entrance. She specifically wanted a Western-style reception, as opposed to the Cambodian-style of serving every table of 10, whether or not the bride existed. Before I even got a chance to check with the bride if we could do that instead of keeping the guests waiting - guess what? The families started making a fuss.  And here was where all hell broke loose - when two of the family members came up to me and started screaming and shouting degradingly at me - in front of all the other guests. I kept my composure and I tried to explain in an even tone that this was the bride's wishes, nevertheless, I have made the call to serve food. But more screaming and shouting and bitching ensued, so I walked off.

Add to the mix - a totally ball-less hotel management team who had no qualms of screwing you over.... it all spells N-I-G-H-T-M-A-R-E. See right, the hotel was so quick at pointing fingers the moment they sensed something wrong. The first thing they did when they saw the guests expressing hunger was to go up to the family and say "Actually, all our food is ready but the wedding planner isn't allowing us to serve." Good one. Before that, they reminded me over ten times that the ice bar display would be removed after pre-dinner cocktails because it would melt. But when the client complained about the ice melting - what did they do? They gathered their service staff and tried to salvage the ice bar. Let it be known - it was the wedding planning team who helped their service staff try to salvage the ice bar. And they reminded, also a thousand times before the wedding that the poolside closes at 11pm sharp. But again, when the push came to shove, they said "We'll let it run all night long, it's fine." That's fucking ball-less, if I ever met any. And I have worked with the hotel's sister company before in another country. They don't behave this way. However, I have to say kudos to the banquet and service team. They really provided the much needed support to cater to all the last minute changes and guests requests, etc. I have always enjoyed working with the banquet service team of this hotel. It is only the management that gives all sort of pompous problems. Now, I need to add ball-less to the equation.

When I was screamed at in a public display of rudeness, I could've chosen to walk off and bring my entire team with me. I did not. In fact, hahaha, I'm so proud of myself for achieving some sort of "zen" level in my journey towards having a calm mind. I did not walk out even though I have every right to do so. Say what? Even my Mother does not scream at me that way! Who the fuck do you think you are? But, I didn't create a scene because I don't like creating scenes in public. Furthermore, I think these people have publicly shown how badly they were brought up despite their richess and what-nots. Just because they behave like uneducated fools in public, does not mean I need to stoop to their level. I have class. My parents brought me up really well.

But most importantly was the fact that I really felt sorry for the bride. I mean, this was her wedding day. She had two days of displeasure, irritation, annoyance, screaming, crying, shouting, anger.....  I really didn't want to be yet another person who physically added to the black spots of her wedding day. It's all karma at the end of the day. I was blessed with a fab, fab, fab wedding filled with laughter. I always wish the same for every couple because it is after all, a once-in-a-lifetime event. So, I stayed on. And we worked the floor and despite all the setbacks and glitches, we finally finished the 13 hours + 20 hours, 2 day-event.

I still haven't been paid nor has the other vendors. To be honest, if they paid, they paid. If they didn't, I couldn't care less. I'm not going to beg for my balance payment. Don't get me wrong, it would be great to be paid for the heartaches and pain but then again, the amount they are paying isn't worth it at all. In fact, no amount of money can pay off being humiliated in public for something that wasn't even my fault to begin with. If they want to be petty, etc... I don't think I would have the patience to deal with it. If they really don't pay, I will always remember that Karma's A Bitch. Fingers and toes crossed, so far, the client had been a good paymaster. Again, don't get me wrong - the bride had been ok. She wasn't nasty. I understand also that her temper on wedding day was just the torrents of emotions she was going through. But for the families and guests..... that's a different story.

Not to mention, after the event was over, I received Thank You emails from 3 guests. And they said that even though it was all so disorganized, they knew it wasn't my fault because they "knew the couple well." Even if it was only 3 guests out of the 300, I take that as a good sign. If I had screamed back at the family that day, I wouldn't be getting these words of encouragements.

I suppose trying to practise keeping calm is ..... hard. I've been reading this book about pretending your mind is a lake and let nothing ripple the calmness of the water. Well, I've had pebbles and rocks and God knows what else threw into it over that 2-day event, and it all rippled. Keeping it calm is hard, man. And then there's this thing about being the bigger person. After the wedding was over, I still had last minute requests coming from the bride. I honestly didn't feel like entertaining all these requests - which were out of my workscope by the way. In fact, my local team said "We really do not want to see them or any of their families again." This coming from a group of boys who are so dociled and mild-manner, it drives me crazy. They could stand me - Gordon Ramsey The Second for 4 years, but they just can't take the couple or their families for one more day, after two days. That says a lot. Well, I made the necessary arrangements for them but I also made some excuses not to show up. I mean, I had a date with the kids at the orphanage. Really didn't think I was gonna ditch them kids and choose to handle more rudeness!!!

Not letting things ripple that lake and being the bigger person...... these are all still work-in-progress for myself. Seriously, if I can do that, I might be the Buddha himself! :P But so far as I have seen, I am Grace Under Fire.

p/s : I highly commend my team who stepped up above so much and the great teamwork is what every business needs to make things successful despite the adversities. I salute all of you. And it was also nice to have experienced partners come here to watch my back for once :) I am thankful. I am blessed.  

Eating, Praying & Loving... well into 2012

I am thankful for the love that surrounds me everyday, for the opportunities that come my way, for the great experiences I can learn from. I am thankful for the food on my table, clothes on my back and roofs over my head.

In a flash of a flash, it is almost time to bid farewell to 2011. When they say time flies, they weren't kidding. And the end of the year would mark my full year of embracing a new positive attitude, glass-full and all..... For those who just stepped in, do read Part 1 & Part 2 of my Eating, Praying & Loving journey :)

Well, the year wasn't without its ups and downs for me. And definitely not short of dramas either. What with broken partnerships, crazeeee clients, set-backs after set-backs, and busting my knees too. There had been times that were really challenging, tearful times when I saw my glass bloody half-empty - again! In fact, my whole training regime took a dive because even as I pushed, my timing was getting slower and slower and my body was constantly coming up with pain at places I didn't know existed! And I just felt like the powers out there were really rocking my boat. I remembered a chat I was having with my Mom over G-Talk and I told her "Whoever I am praying to, they have abandoned me!!"


I learnt to have unwavering faith. OMG! Who knew that keeping faith was so bloody hard? But I preservered. I chose to "spiral up" (as Eminem says) instead of spiralling down. Why choose your glass half-empty when you can choose to see it as half-full, right? Hard as it may be some days, many days, especially during PMS :P, I soldiered on. And I continued praying. 31st December 2011 would also mark 402 days of me praying. I am keeping faith indeed :)

2011 had been a rather interesting journey for me actually. There had been several learning curves, both on the work and business front as well as on the personal front. But eversince I tried to synchronize my mind and my heartbeats with that of the Universe, I have been presented with "signs" and "words of wisdoms" that seemed to be really useful at times. I'm not really sure how this works. It could be the fact that I am no longer "blinded" by my negativities that I see the signs around me or it could really be the miracles of the universe at work. Who knows.

The last few months were actually the most trying. But why focus on the crap of 2011, right? :) When things were not going according to plan and in fact, there are many things still up in the air for me right now, my best friend said this to me : "Why don't you just go with the flow and enjoy the adventure?" Yes, agreed. I just hope she forgives me when I once again do a no-show in NZ to see her and new-born baby girl..... (Honest! I was THIS close to booking the tickets!!) At the end of the day, I think a lot of things happen for a reason. Whether the reason is simply just a learning experience, or aligning you towards your future..... they're all reasons.

A 'gang' of us were talking about regrets recently. Of course, I have regrets. So many. For one - I should've taken up criminal studies more seriously instead of the glam world of advertising. Two - I should've taken up competitive sports more seriously when I was in school instead of seeing it as free periods meant for playing. That is just to name a couple. BUT - as I said, I think things happen for a reason. Why am I here? Why am I not there? What made me make this decision? Was it wrong? Was it right? Or was the decision leading to something I did not know? - are you still following me right now? :) End of the day, what is the use of crying over spilt milk? I am not part of the BAU. I'll live with that :P I'll just engage in my fantasies watching Criminal Minds / CSI on TV. And who's to say, I would be happy doing criminal forensics as my career? Right? Right? Right.

Having done away with dwelling in my "regrets", I have learnt to accept failure as a grand learning experience. Just because something didn't work out, it does not mean I am blacklisted for life. All I need to know is that I gave it my best effort. And it didn't work out because there are bigger things out there waiting for me. It's just the way the universe aligns itself apparently. And with that too - I've come to a high point in my life where I feel I no longer need or want to prove anything to anyone. I don't need to be driving around in a Lexus to show people I am successful. In fact, I go around town riding pillion on a Honda kap-chai on weekends here. I used to feel 'embarassed', and I think "OMG, I don't want clients seeing me on this beaten-down motodop!!" But you know what? Clients hire us for our brains. Not for the cars we drive or the expensive bags we carry or whatever. Like I said, at the end of the day, people are free to say and think what they like. I don't have to prove to anyone that I am wherever I am. And it feeeeels grrreeeeat !! :) *and cue song : Lighters by Bad Meets Evil :)

I've had a fair few really great and nice clients this year and also a handful of  - "crazeees" for my wedding business. I think the 'crazees' were there for a reason. What was the reason? Do, read on. I guess, the final straw was when a client wanted a free-tasting session for USD8 champagnes (I'll never let this go) and there they sat, opening bottles after bottles of "affordable" champagnes and commenting about bubbles and textures and taste. Now, see, I am not a connoisseur of champagnes, but even I know what to expect from bloody USD8 champers. I was praying so hard for the strength to not pour the bottle of champagne down their heads. I wanted to scream "You stupid bi-a-tch! There are people with no food and you are here bitching about USD8 champagnes??!" Whilst I kept my cool and professionalism (and damn proud of it), I couldn't sleep that night because I was raging internally. And therefore, my belief that money doesn't buy us happiness had been reinforced.

On the other hand, together with my local team, I've taken on more "charitable" work stuff, mostly for those which causes I support. The latest being the MTV Exit Campaign which fights human trafficking in this region. I remember the first meeting with World Vision and all involved, when we were presented with the harsh truth about human trafficking, I was.... shocked, appalled and ashamed. So, just like that - I decided on doing the job even if there was no profit to be made. And here's the catch - these "free work" that I do - so enjoyable! It gives me a buzz even though I'm poorer !! It gives me new experiences and also new learning curves for my local team too. Although, poor local team of mind - it's Hell's Kitchen everyday for them as well. LOL! New Year's resolution - I promise to try to be more patient and less Gordon Ramsey-like with them. Truth is, they ARE a good team. But things are just harder in Cambodia. Period.

Anyway, as such, whilst there are still a few things that are up-in-the-air for me (and I am still learning to let it be and not worry about it), I have made a partial decision to scale back on my time spent on work / business stuff and I am increasing my personal time spent on voluntary work for the new year. To start with, I am going to be more involved with the kids at the orphanage and will be planning music lessons, English lesson, fitness lessons, art lessons and other recreational activities for them. Apparently, recreational activities are good for children who are HIV+. Where I am unable to teach (like art - because I cannot draw to save my life), I will try to enlist help from other kind-hearted souls. For the elder kids, I will be sitting down with them to talk about their future as well. Bottomline is - I am going to do ALL I CAN to make things happen for them and help them become inspiring people. With the blessings from all the powers out there, I'll pull through and I'll pull them through. Of course, I am looking for guidance from the staff at the orphanage as well as this is a totally new area for me. And you know what they say about laws of attraction? I am attracting so many kind-hearted people! To all of you who have helped me helped these kids - they are great kids - I am truly grateful. To my NS team back in KL - thank you for your support too :)

On the flight back from KL recently, I had the 'good luck' of sitting surrounded by Cambodian maids returning to Cambodia. One of them was in tears and relating her story of hardship as a maid in Malaysia. I tried not to eavesdrop, but since I can comprehend the language a little, I couldn't help it. I felt really sorry for her. Looking back, I've really had a privileged life. Nope, I didn't have maids or nannies or chauffeurs. I walked to school and we had to wash our own uniforms and help with the household chores, etc. But my middle-class parents have struggled to provide for my brother and I and I wasn't shipped away for economic reasons to god-forsaken countries to be maids or whatever else people are trafficked for. In fact, I've had piano lessons, taekwondo lessons, I went to the Outward Bound School, and if not for the rotan-rotan-rotan for every 'A' that I did not produce in my report card, I don't think I would be where I am today. Again, as with all families, we've had our dramas and I've had my teenage rebellion spell too (running away and all, hahahha!). But I am thankful for the upbringing I had. We're not rich, but we're rich in so many other ways. And because I have led such a privileged life, I think it's high time I helped those who need it. I have also set my sights on several other NGOs supporting the vulnerable groups and have made appointments to see them soon. I am humbled to think that in this instance - these NGOs will consider whether I am suited for the voluntary work and it's not about me just saying yes, I'll do it. In fact, wherever I may be, Timbaktoo for all I care, this is my plan. THIS IS my next step.

As for paying clients,...... I will check whether our hearts are beating in synch or not before I sign on the dotted line :P I am good at my job. No, I am DAMN GOOD at my job. But I don't think I want to feel miserable doing the work. I don't want to do a half-ass job for the client just because I'm frustrated or my heart's not in it (and our hearts are not beating as one :P) or I am forced to be calculative with the clients. I will give clients a great event or a great wedding - provided they give me a great planning experience in return. Money? Let's make it worth both our whiles. Fair deal, I say.

I may see a dip in my income..... BUT..... I know I will always have food on my table, clothes on my back and roofs over my head. A friend posted this on her FB status a couple weeks ago : -

"The more I give away to others - my possessions, my money, my time, myself - the more fulfilled I am and the less I lack because there is always, ALWAYS, Divine Providence. Sometimes it's just what I need, but mostly it's over and above."

... and when I read that, I was like "BINGO!" Something clicked! See, what did I tell you about reading signs? All these signs are flashing in front of my face everywhere I looked, be it on FB, on TV, or simply a banner across the street. Used to be, they zoomed right past me. But now, I see them. I see them all!

I have new clothes all the way till CNY 2030 - (private joke only a few are privy of. LOL!). If you look through my photos - I am someone who don't have a large range of wardrobe. I can wear the same stuff over and over again every week and it doesn't bother me. MasterChef MOH will always know what to do with spicing up my meals - leftovers or not. And come what may, I know I have a room back in my parents' home. So, therefore, I'm grand :) Over and above that, I am truly blessed with so much love in my life. And laughter too :) I am thankful for the dosage of laughter MOH provides me everyday :)

"You may think you have challenges, but you have so many blessings. Sometimes it takes only a moment of conscious effort to recognize those blessings. Once you focus on the gifts instead of the problems, your whole perspective will change and you will see blessings everywhere." 


As I usher into the new year, full of anticipation and a sense of adventure (hopefully, I'll also regain my racing fitness and sign up for another tri-race soon), I promise that I will continue Eating, Praying and Loving well into 2012.

So,...... to ALL - have a blast on New Year's Day! Happy 2012! May it be Money Come! Money Come! and All Good Things Come too! :)


p/s : For my friends, or anyone for that matter, who may have had a rough ride in 2011, it's time you buckled up. 2012 is going to be a super-awesome ride!

Karma's A Bitch

* This post is a special dedication to all who felt like they had been cheated or taken for a ride.

I remember a wedding I planned years ago, where I met the stingiest, most cheapskate couple and both their families ever in my entire life. The five-day wedding was a nightmare for the crew and every single vendor who were part of the wedding - from the hotel right down to the hired van drivers. The funny thing was - the entire wedding, from Day 1 till Day 5 went perfectly well. Not even a single glitch - even with the Skpye-In speech by the groom's cousin. You'd think the internet would've created some havoc at least! But nope, weather was perfect, the food was great, the prayer ceremonies and traditional ceremonies went like clockwork beautifully. And still, at the end of the day, the client refused to pay everyone in full. By then, we were all so tired and couldn't wait to get out of there, we just left. (The sound system guy went as far as telling the client that the balance payment shall be "donated" to them).

On the way back, we had the pleasure of being on the same flight as the groom family's priest who presided over all the traditional ceremonies. Funny thing was, all of us on that flight got to talking and found out that the priest too was equally unhappy about the way everyone was treated by the family. Here's what the priest had to say to us and I will remember this forever :

"There is no need to be upset about your payment, ya. You see, the family is cheating money from here, there and everywhere only to have to use those monies to pay for the groom's medicine."

You see, the groom had a long-term illness.

So, my friends, they say Karma's A Bitch. You better believe it.


** cartoon taken from cheezadiddle.deviantart.com