I Am Stinky. And There Is Only ONE In The World

A Recent Photo Of Me... Notice my baju?

My date of birth is a little vague, actually. Although, in the whole family, it is generally an accepted fact that I was born somewhere in the year 1981 and I was a gift to my Mistress from her beloved Grandmama. Ever since, I have been by Mistress’ side and I AM indispensable. Woots! Her “most prized possession” – that’s what she says. A “never leave home without it” possession. Woots!


Well, for those of you who know Mistress would more or less know of my existence. For those of you who have had the honour (I say “honour” because… indeed, it is!) of living under the same roof as Mistress, you would be well acquainted with me somehow, because Mistress, she had never been embarrassed by me. Not when she was five, not when she was a teen and not when she ventured into adulthood.


The name…. Geez, I dunno. Some nincompoop coined the name for me and for some reason, Mistress thought it was cute and the name stuck. Previously, I went by the name Busuk Pao…. I guess, for more of an international feel, Stinky stuck as my new name. I don’t know who the nincompoop was to come up with that name! I am “the best smelling thing in the world” as according to Mistress. I smell “like a baby” – also according to Mistress. Now, why would you call me Stinky?? But hey, if Mistress thinks it’s cute, then so be it. Her wish is my command. But just so all of you know – I have my yearly spa session – usually during the CNY period, where Grandmama carefully opens me up and my naked insides are given a long tanning session and then I’m put together again – of course, not before feeding me more, to make me all fat and chubby so that there is more of me to love *grins*. So…, I am CLEAN and I don’t SMELL contrary to what you folks believe! :P


I had been with Mistress through her growth, from child to an angry teenager, through her trials and tribulations, through her heartbreaks and joys and I’ve known almost every tear she had shed. Not many of you can claim the same you know, so NAH! When she was living abroad alone all those years, guess who kept her company? ME, ME, ME!!! I’ve always traveled wherever she has traveled – so I think I’m one blady lucky paupau since not many paupaus get to see the world like I did and still do. By the way – to show the importance of my status as a VERY VALUABLE item when flying, I am always hand-carried. Jealous or not? :P


When Mistress went abroad to study in Australia, I traveled with her and for the first time, it was just Mistress and I – no adults, no Mama and no Papa. Rubbing hands in glee, we went for our great adventure into the journey of life. And what a journey it was! Oh, the dramas, the scandals, the.. the… well, ok, I don’t kiss-and-tell. :P Of course, it was at this time that her flatmates got pretty well-acquainted with me too. I think it was one of them who gave me my name. Idiot. They were not very kind people. Well, but of course, they were Mistress’ great friends. What can I do? I’m a helpless little paupau who is hell-bent on serving my Mistress come what may! So, I sucked it up. Why do I think these are bad, bad people? Oh, I tell you – one of my life’s darkest moments happened during my time in this flat Down Under.


One weekend, when Mistress totally forgot to pack me into her overnight bag before leaving town for the long weekend hols, I was stuck in the flat with these mean people. And what did they do? In their drug-induced drunken stupor, they kidnapped me from the safe enclosure of my bed and tied me with this UGLY, absolutely UGLY old red necktie that wasn’t even my colour to begin with and hung me from the ceiling. Oh, as if that was not torturous enough, they stuck clothes pegs all over my poor, soft, chubby body. The pain! It was indescribable! Oh, I can still remember it and I can still feel the pinchy, bitey pain of those damn pegs! But these mean, mean, bad, bad people just stood there and laughed and discussed ways to get ransom out of Mistress, took numerous photos of my tortured conditions... I swear, they were like crazy-high-on-drugs, laughing and sneering. I saw fangs and horns grow out of them! I was left hanging from that ceiling, with all these things pinching me till I was numb for days…. before Mistress finally came back to my rescue. She was not pleased, I tell you. There was some yelling, I can’t remember very well because I was in so much pain… and I was traumatized.. what was it those CSI people call it again? PSTD, that’s right. Post traumatic stress disorder..... But revenge was duly taken. Haha. Served them right! What did I ever do to them? Geez! But still, Mistress is too, too kind. She remains good friends with these bad people till today. Geez. But poor, poor Mistress. I wasn’t the only one who was traumatized by this whole thing, you know. Needless to say, when trying to make a decision on whether to bring me along anywhere now, this episode always comes back to haunt poor Mistress. 

The bad, bad people....

See right, being such an invaluable possession has led to me being a weak-link for Mistress’ life. I am always being held as a threat to get Mistress to do things she doesn’t want to do. Particularly, from Mistress’ Mama during the early years. “I will throw Busuk Pau into the garbage bin if you don’t do this,… or if you don’t do that….” And Mistress, in order to protect my existence, will meekly do as told. But still, she had her way of rebelling. What a feisty little samseng! And in recent years, it is her beloved hubby or her MOH (I cringe saying this word) who does the threatening. “I will throw Stinky out of the balcony if you don’t do this…. or if you don’t do that…” or “When you come back, you won’t find Stinky anywhere…” Lucky for me, Mistress somehow, somehow, always gets her way with him though. Phew!

I traveled to Bali numerous times with Mistress and was there when she first fell in love with… him. (No way I’m calling him Master!!) And of course, coming full circle again in Bali, I was there when she got married too. Grandmama had predicted that Mistress would get married with me in tow since we were inseparable. She was right. I was just a little disappointed that I wasn’t a part of the ceremony. Mistress’ Mama would’ve screamed murder. Really. And not just her Mama. But all her industry friends will go “OMG. Pai seh la lu…!” I beg to differ. I think I would look most handsome in a chic white satin jacket, carrying the couple’s beautiful wedding bands. But alas…. I had to be left out, and also since SOME people had already prepared a boring, so-called ring pillow for her. Whatever. But I am the ever loyal friend. I didn’t get pissy at Mistress and did not throw a hissy-fit. I wished her all the joys and happiness too. I saw her get ready, transformed into a glowing bride, even though marriage was never something she planned for in her life…. I saw her looking all pretty and having fun and laughing with her best friends and taking photos. She forgot to take one with me. But it’s ok. As long as she's happy, I'm happy. While the party was going on, I waited patiently in her villa, err… next to her best friend’s baby – who was also left out of the party too. Sooooo glad I wasn’t the only one :P

Whilst I am happy for Mistress for “marrying a really good man”, I’m not so happy about having to share the bed with someone else. Hrrrumph! Oh, I would kiss-and-tell some about this “good man” of hers. You see, I kinda have this love-hate relationship for him. I love him because he makes Mistress happy and he makes Mistress laugh. I hate him because he bullies me and sometimes, he bullies Mistress too and makes her cry and I have to clean up after him. See? Sometimes, I want to punch him! Sometimes, he hides me and Mistress will get all frantic trying to search for me. What an idiot! He puts me in closets, under the bed, under pile of clothes, inside luggage bags… you name it! And while Mistress is frantically searching, he sits there like a sack of potatoes on the couch watching football with an innocent –looking face too. I know what he is up to. He just wants to distract Mistress for awhile so he can enjoy watching his stupid football. Who watches 22 grown men chasing after one stupid ball anyways?


When Mistress is in bed together with me, she at least tries to protect me. By the way, I’m still what she hugs to sleep. Just that now, I have to be squeezed in between him and Mistress otherwise he would throw a hissy-fit about “Why you always hug Stinky and you don’t hug me?” Geez. Gimme a break! I was there first, Mr. Whiny! And him….! I really don’t like sleeping with him! Aargh!


Nevermind the incessant snoring and the drooling and I’ll be damned if he ever drools on me!…. Most nights, he would steal me away from Mistress. Sometimes, he would throw me on to the floor. Sometimes, he would undress me – so ham sap! – and I would be cold and naked, always a good thing that I have an extra layer of skin… but still! Geez! But Mistress, she would come to my rescue. She would pinch, pinch, pinch him to make him return me to her, or kick him and make him pick me up from the floor – all these done while eyes still closed, mind you…  But the worse of all is when he kepit me in between his legs! Aaargh!!! Hot and suffocating man!! And then he farts in my face! What the hell!  Sometimes, the fart doesn’t stop at one. Idiot!! Mistress would slap him when she finds me in that hellish position. Whack! Whack! On his ass. Hahaha. Serves him right. He usually does this nonsense when Mistress wakes up early in the morning to go for her training, leaving me alone in bed with him. And that is when he will be up to extreme no-goods.


You think I don’t know what he is up to? He is adamant about getting his “smell” on me so that when Mistress takes a whiff of me, it is HIM that she is smelling and not so much her beloved paupau anymore. Such a sneaky bugger, I tell you. Oh, I know his tricks. See right, Mistress is very particular about how I smell and as such, she doesn’t use any other cream or lotion when she goes to bed – except Johnson’s Baby Lotion. That is the only smell allowed in bed. But this, this…. silly fellow is like the ambassador for Minyak Cap Kapak. Cold, minyak cap kapak. Headache, minyak cap kapak. Cough, minyak cap kapak. I know it drives Mistress nuts and she hides every single bottle that he buys. I’m not revealing their hidey hole. Uh-uh. No way.  And he has learnt his lesson – no getting into bed with the smell of Minyak Cap Kapak or whatever yucky smells. Hahaha.


Sometimes, Mistress helps me take revenge by letting me sock him one or two times in the head. Damn, it feels good when I get to sock him! As it is, lately, Mistress is complaining that I am starting to smell a bit like him already. Aaargh! That stupid idiot has ruined me! I need to get an emergency spa session right away! Grandmama, WHERE ARE YOU?


Yet, I will continue enduring all of his nonsense or any other nonsense for that matter. Because why? I love Mistress. I have known Mistress all her life and am confident that nothing can come between us (as I can already prove by the fact that I am the first thing Mistress hugs when she goes to bed and the first thing she is hugging when she wakes up – unless SOME moron steals me away or starts doing the whiny attention-seeking thing) – our relationship is rock-solid. I know it will break Mistress’ heart if she ever loses me so I am definitely gonna make sure I am right there always. Hmmm… actually I am the ONE who is truly there, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. In fact – I will be buried right there with Mistress holding on to me (it is in her last will and testament :P). So NAH to all of you again for giving me a hard time or for laughing at me, or laughing at Mistress for having me around all the time :P

p/s : Do not try to psychoanalyse all of these as Mistress being someone with a lot of baggage or whatever. There’s nothing to analyse. She is a hoarder and when she grows attached to things, she doesn’t give up on them. She doesn’t ditch old things for new ones. She is just as loyal to me as I am to her. There is actually a new version of me – sitting somewhere in the cupboard. But she chooses to mend me over and over again, rather than use a new one because she is a kind and sentimental person (some call her a fool but I beg to differ)… and because, as I said…. 

I Am Stinky.
And There Is Only One In The World.

He was laughing hysterically, high on drugs!

Weddings : A Learning Curve in Cambodia

Chris & Pisey's Monk Blessing Ceremony

Over the last weekend, The Wedding Planners in Cambodia planned the first "trend-setting" wedding here in Cambodia. Whilst the traditional Khmer ceremonies and rituals carried on as per usual, the wedding reception style was changed to something more in-tune with what you and I are used to - in other words - westernized. We had the pre-dinner cocktails, place cards seating arrangements, bridal grand walk-in and minimalistic decor of a chosen colour theme. And these were all on top of the Church Ceremony which was held a day before the reception.

For those of you who may not be familiar with the settings of a Cambodian wedding, it is actually a colourful affair - from the traditional ceremonies to the wedding reception. Actually, we ought to be familiar with it as it is almost similar to a "kenduri-style" wedding back home. But instead of the bride and groom sitting quietly on the dais, the Cambodian couple stands at the entrance to greet all their guests - starting from perhaps 4pm till 7pm before they head in to carry out some of the wedding formalities like speeches, cake-feeding and the dancing. Usually, guests are invited to come by the dozens - neighbours, distant neighbours, friends, acquaintances and they come and go from the hours of 4pm - 9pm. You can have 50 tables at the reception, but you may well invite over 2,000 guests! That is because as soon as a table of 10 is filled, they serve dinner and once dinner is finished, the guests leave and the table is re-set for the next set of 10. Doesn't it remind you of our "kenduris" in the kampung?

The wedding over the weekend was held at The Raffles here in da Penh and aside from the westernized arrangements of the reception, the guest list was trimmed to a mere 150 - another unusual encounter for Cambodian weddings - this is actually to facilitate everyone showing up at the same time, eating at the same time and leaving at the same time - again, something which you and I are more familiar with but not for the locals :)

Well, the wedding planning process which took place over a period of 6 months was an absolute blast, actually. The clients, Chris & Pisey (Chris being American facilitated to changing the trend a lot easier) were a real joy to work with and left their trust in me and my team to ensure that a great wedding was brought to live. With clients like these, I am reminded of how much I lurve my job as a wedding planner *smile*.

However, working in Cambodia proves to be a tad more challenging than normal. Especially for weddings. For those who don't know, my main bread and butter here in da Penh isn't the wedding planning business but my advertising and events business. For weddings, whilst I am established in Malaysia, I am merely making tiny first steps here in Cambodia. After a year-long "educational" process, finally, some of the 5-star hotels are starting to look at making weddings a unique and personalized showcase here in Cambodia too and thus 2 wedding fairs in the first half of the year (had the wedding biz been my bread and butter, I would've starved :P). As mentioned, another sure-thing about Cambodian weddings is that one wedding is the same as the next, and the next, and the next - you get my drift. Same colours, same flowers, same arches, etc. ! I have both locals and expat tell me that after awhile, you do not remember whose wedding was whose even from looking at the photos! Very true indeed.

Anyway, as I was saying, given the growing middle-class over the last couple of years, we are starting to see the locals becoming more open-minded and a little - just a little more receptive towards new wedding styles and ideas. But it is this in-between period that is also challenging because it meant that wedding planners the likes of me - have to really convince the client into trying out something different and most importantly - convincing them of personalizing their weddings. We have to convince them that natural-looking make-up is the way to go so that they look absolutely stunning on their wedding day. We have to convince them that hiring a photography team outside of Malaysia would offer them different styling to their wedding album. We have to convince them that doing a grand walk-in / wedding march-in would be a memorable experience. We have to convince them that the price is worth every penny that they are paying. (eg. local photographers can go for USD600 for the full day from 3am to 11pm!) The list goes on.

If they bought into the whole trend-setting idea of changing their wedding style, it wasn't the end of story for us. We have to now convince the local wedding vendors - from the venue to the florist to even the photographer or videographer if they were hired locally, that the 'concept' of the wedding has changed and these are the adjustments we need to do - whether in terms of make-up, photos or decorations. Even hotels the likes of Raffles would need to be taught to give a ballroom lay-out plan which takes into account the bridal walk-in on the red carpet! Sound system is a whole other issue in Cambodia. The quality of sound system is often gauged by how LOUD the music can be blasted even in a small ballroom. But say what you like, the vendor refused to tone down the decibels. So you just visualize this very elegant setting vs ear drums-breaking sound. You could not hear yourself think even! After convincing these vendors, there is that "Cambodia Challenge" that we have to go through - which is professionally-delivered service and product. Unfortunately, as mentioned in a previous post, most often in Cambodia, what you ask for, you may not get. Over the years of working here, I've realized this "It's ok" attitude amongst the local Cambodians. For example, my stage backdrop was chipped and had holes - likely damaged when they were transporting the thing - and of course, I wasn't happy about it, being anal and all. But the local guy would tell me "It's ok. It looks fine still. Nobody can see." You just want to smack him one, but you can't. Or when the vendor shows up with an arrangement that is different from what was agreed prior, it's also the "It's ok. It still looks fine." argument. The thing is, the Cambodian clients understand this working culture. And hopefully, the non-Cambodian client also understands the so called "culture" here. But I don't - and it sometimes baffles me as to why do the vendors think they can get away with something like that? Even the venue could spring a surprise on you on the event day itself by telling you they do not have red carpet in the entire hotel. OMG. (So people need to understand that last-minute changes, etc... does not really work-out well in Cambodia)....

After convincing the clients, followed by the vendors, I realized we also had to brace ourselves in convincing the locals who attend the wedding. It can be an endless process of the following : "What is pre-dinner cocktail?" / "Why do I have to sign the Wish Tree cards and hang it?" / "I want to take back the Wish Tree cards." / "Why can't I eat now?" / "What time do we leave?" /  "I brought 4 more people and I want to sit together" / "What are place cards?" and whilst all these were going on, they were stepping all over my lovely, lovely aisle petals. :\ Big lesson learnt - never-ever do place card arrangements again in Cambodia, no matter how small the wedding guest list might be :P At least, not for the next couple of years!

Overall, I had a great time with this particular wedding, having done a few in Cambodia already. I was also pleased that I managed to convince the client to hire a team of photographers from Malaysia to capture their memorable moments - 1am Studio - who did a GREAT JOB and helped rush a fast-edit for a surprise slideshow for the clients too. I'm happy some of my Malaysian comrades have witnessed first-hand what it's like at a Cambodian wedding (the most tiring wedding shoot they had done, apparently!) I am pleased with how the entire wedding turned out and definitely brimming with pride when the couple and both their families came up to me to give words of gratitude and encouragements. Even the GM at the Raffles was impressed and now wish to work closer with us at TWP. Of course, I only stood around and looked pretty :P My team was the real doers and they deserve a pat on the back. Make it two.

During a PR interview recently, when the reporter asked if bringing in international vendors meant that we are better than the local vendors, my answer was as follows : "No, it does not mean that we are better than the local vendors. We are just offering a different style and we should learn from one another to grow the business and grow the industry. This is what we call exchange of knowledge, skills and culture between one another. I could teach you about delivering professional service and you could teach me about your local culture and customs or the photographer could teach you about different techniques and you could teach them about your local styles and concepts. In this world, there is no such thing as you are better or I am better. We need to share in order to grow."

As I sit and reflect on some of the 'unseen' chaos during the wedding which took place, I realized that doing weddings in Cambodia is going to be a bitch of a climb up the learning curve - both for myself, for potential clients, for vendors and for local guests. But everyone has to start somewhere and I welcome the challenge. I had almost forgotten - we all started out the same back home - from somewhere too, taking that first step. I just need to work on my zen habits and try to stay calm and patient :P

Some of the vendors who came over for the launch of TWP back in 2009 have questioned why they haven't been asked to do anything more for Cambodia and why some other vendors are given the jobs instead. If you had read all the above, you would find your explanation. Given the "educational" process that we still have to go through with every job (not just weddings, mind you), convincing and convincing clients to engage more professional service providers and products at a 300% higher fee...  it IS an uphill climb indeed. You may have invested your time and money once to take a look at Cambodia. I have invested not just money, but my time here in Cambodia - and I am STILL learning. I am in this for the long haul in order for me to reap the rewards of my efforts and passion. Are you willing to be in it for the long-haul here?

Because, I definitely would welcome all local & international industry friends to help me fight a good fight here and grow the industry in Cambodia :) For those who have believed and supported me - whether physically or morally from near and far - I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

For more great photos - you will have to wait for the awesome ones from 1am Studio! :)

Church Ceremony decor

Simple & Elegant look for the Wedding Reception decor

Me and my boys

Bali Triathlon : An Abysmal Performance

Team Weddings Malaysia & Team JFT

For those of you who have been following my blog would know that I was in pretty ill-shape for the Bali Triathlon. Nevertheless, my stubbornness ensured that I was right there at the starting line on the cloudy morning of 26^th June 2011, together with my wedding industry friends and MOH who formed the relay team of Team Weddings Malaysia and our official cheerleaders : Shirley Hoo, Mama & Papa Lui. The damn cough and the damn pain in my left ribs were the major issues and I had been trying to ‘hide’ this for the past couple of days after we all met up in Bali – for fear that, you know, I might be curbed from taking part in the competition.
Having Kris, Lee Kuen, Shirley and my parents around really took my mind off the stress I was going through – imagining that I will not complete the race. Aaargh! I definitely do not want a DNF in my record! Kris was particularly funny, cracking jokes about racing, teaching us how to pose for the camera (“gaya mesti ada”) and making us all laugh like KKC (not helping the pain in my ribs though).

Oh – oh! I also had the honour of meeting Richard Sambera – the ex-national swimming champ for Indonesia! I got his autograph, a photo with him and his V-shaped bod (very impressive for a retired sportsman) and a few good tips from him about swimming in the open-water. Most of the Indon national team and most of the top athletes from Australia were competing too. Well, not so bad, right? Team Weddings Malaysia and Team Journeys For Two were competing amongst the best-of-the-best!
Bali in June is chilly. I looked at the choppy waves forlornly and say a silent prayer. I was not going to kid myself – I prayed that I completed the race safely and I prayed for Team Weddings Malaysia to complete the race safely too. We all know that in races like these, as well-organized as they may be, anything can happen (and obviously, it did). There was a bit of a panic during my prep-time since my Mom was holding my prep bag and she was at the swim start instead of the bike transition area. They had to do a power walk in the dark to deliver the bag to me so I could lay-out my stuff. Not funny then, but funny now :)

When the Bali governor sounded the horn for the start, it was a “here we go again” moment for me. I jumped into the water, along with two hundred over other athletes competing for top places, prize money and personal glory (Team Weddings Malaysia had a later start since they were doing the Sprint Distance). The swim in the freezing waters of Jimbaran Bay was particularly enjoyable, except for the choppy waters. Although I started at the back of the pack, I kept good pace and the cold numbed the pain in my ribs. One mantra remained in my head while I kept my pace and rhythm – “please don’t let me finish last, please don’t let me finish last..” I thought I was doing well as I overtook a number of swimmers, and then I touched the shore at 44mins. This was particularly de-motivating since my worse timing previously in the open waters was 38mins. Eeesh. (Later, I found out that we swam more than 1.5km since the bloody buoy shifted position!!) I ran the 800m to the transition area (again, a first for any tri I’ve been in) to get into my bike gear and head on out. Of course, Mommy dearest was cheering at the swim finish and Shirley was snapping away on the camera – therefore, must perk-up and smile for the camera, not look like half-dead (although she promised the photos of me coughing and dying were not going to be posted on FB!)

The bike route was a whole different monster, I tell you. It was an arduous uphill cycle for most of 25km – and not just that, we had to maneuver potholes and sit in heavy ‘macet’. OMG. While the chilly water had numbed my pain, the constant uphill climb had brought it all back. It didn’t help that I was coughing and having a running nose. I had snot all over me by the 10^th click. Nevermind the fact that I was on a rented bike and was just not used to it (decided not to lug my bike around when I holiday in Bali). The first three hills, I was still motivating myself and I was trying to sing Rihanna and Eminem in-between to take my mind off. By the sixth hill, I was ready to cry. I could hear my knees creaking and my ribs felt inflamed. When I hit more hills and saw some other cyclists getting off their bikes and pushing instead, I decided that was the smarter thing to do and did the same. It was faster! And then it rained. OMG. The phrase “slippery when wet” was very much real in this race. Lots of bikers lost control and crashed. I myself nearly crashed into a traffic police. Good thing he managed to stop the traffic since I had gone over to the wrong lane as I wobbled to avoid falling! I had never in my life, lost my cool during any race. But at the Bali Tri, I did. You just imagine, you are trying to gather your momentum downhill to climb the damn hill only to find that there is a bloody traffic jam in the middle of the hill and you have to stop! Aaargh! I was cursing and swearing and I wanted to punch people.  It was extremely NOT enjoyable. During the race briefing, Robb Strom said “Enjoy the scenic route and suck in the very soul of Bali.” I was sucking in alright – the smog and pollution. And there was definitely nothing scenic about my route. If I did not know better, I would think I was PMS-ing :P

No, don’t get me wrong. I love Bali. I fell in love with MOH here and we made it full circle by having our wedding in Bali. But racing in the macet and avoiding potholes was a whole other matter. Besides, Bali is really overly congested and might be losing some of its charm. I’m digressing. The point is, the organizers should at least work on closing the traffic – at least one lane. It’s the 5^th year this has been organized, there should be a way!

I finally finished my 40km uphill bike battle in an unfashionable time of 1:57 – totally aargh, aargh and double aargh! I cursed all the way to the dismount area, cursed all the way as I walked in – MOH met me at the transition area (he obviously finished his 20km sprint distance earlier than I did and was spared most of the hills :P) and I was telling him how much I hated the bike leg. He told me I wasn’t the only one. Apparently, every biker who came in was cursing and swearing too.

I went ahead with my run and at this point, I just told myself to finish the race. I was in so much pain that I honestly didn’t think I remembered my own name (btw – I couldn’t even find where I parked my bike because they don’t mark the transition areas – hence, some athletes found their bikes missing when they came in from their swim!). I was coughing almost non-stop at this point and at the 4km mark, I thought I was having an asthma attack! Still, I pushed on. And then, as if wanting to challenge me further, there was no water available at the water stations. Just the Hydro Coconut Water thingy – while not too bad in taste, was not what my cough needed!! The running route was not any better. Still stuck in traffic, avoiding motorbikes and potholes. Come to think of it, it reminded me of why I do not train outdoors in da Penh :P I finally, finally finished the run leg in 1:02 – again, horrible timing – and crossed the finished line in an abysmal 3:54. My worse ever race timing clocked. My Dad – poor dude – was waiting for me at the finish line and I don’t think I will ever live down the “I waited for 3 hours, you know!!” On one hand, I was touched that both my parents cheered me on and definitely touched that my Dad stood around waiting patiently for 3 hours for me to show up. Of course, he complained afterwards, but I knew that when I didn't show up in the 2nd hour, he was worried that I might have fainted somewhere! Haha. On the other hand, I felt bad. I felt like I had let them down. I should’ve made it back faster. I could’ve. Just that the body ‘mogok’ – I couldn’t help it. MOH, however, scored a “SHUT UP” from me since the last thing I needed to hear was “I told you so.” :P :P :P

Kris offered a good consolation – he said I cannot compare this race with my other previous races because the route was tougher. Comparatively, the Top finisher finished in 3:05, so I wasn’t that ‘far’ behind. OK, admittedly, what he said did make sense. But it didn’t quite make me feel any better finishing 3 effin’ 54. Another consoling point – which MOH pointed out – was I was still Top 10 – I have yet to break that record. But yes, Top 10 out of 11 :P :P Aaargh! Fine, so Team Journeys For Two Solo didn’t do too well if you looked at overall timing (I will now need some time to get over this sore point :P).

However, Team Weddings Malaysia finished very well. Kris was super fast in the swim (12^th out of the water), super funny in his 800m transition run (a length longer than his swim –  which he constantly reminded us about throughout our trip together thereafter), MOH finished his bike pretty damn fast as well (16^th finisher on the bike) and Lee Kuen completed the race in fashionable manner (20^th to come in from the run). Lee Kuen – another funny one – everyone looked worn-out after the race but she still looked posh and glamourous – like not a hair out of place! How the hell? Anyway, a BIG kudos to Team Weddings Malaysia for a great virgin race J - finishing Top 16 in a time of 1:47 ahead of many other teams J I am happy that my industry friends are starting to pick-up on my passion too and here’s to more teams forming and more races in which we can all enjoy together J

There had been many lessons learnt in the run-up to the Bali race and even while racing itself for me. I’m not going to talk about the “I told you so” lessons :P At the very least, I know that my “Never Say Die” attitude is embedded strongly and I am not a quitter. I say this easily now because I completed the race, pain and all. But I think the one thing that was going for me on race day was the fact that the sun was hiding pretty much throughout the race. If the heat was on – I am not sure I would’ve made it. I am also very happy that my parents have come to cheer me on and support me and knowing that they were standing and waiting at the finish line kept me going. Of course, thanks to Kris, Shirley, Lee Kuen and MOH too for all the laughs and jokes and mutual team support. These are all the enjoyable part of it all J An experience – nobody can give or take away from me.

And now, I shall start on writing a strongly-worded letter to the organizers because, nevermind that the route was terrible, nevermind that we had to climb uphill on the bike in traffic, nevermind that there was no water BUT what I do mind is that they didn’t have enough finisher’s medal and as such – I didn’t even get mine! C’mon, people! For the effin’ climb and the smog and all the sweat and tears – I should at least get a medal, right? Right? Right. 

Personal Cheer Troupe :) Mama & Papa Lui

Over-Trained = Plans Shattered :\

I am right now looking at my assortment of drugs and I feel rather sorry for myself. By the way, I was literally hoodwinked, taken by surprise, kidnapped and bundled into the doctor's clinic against my will over the weekend. In fact, I was too stunned to even run out of the clinic for my dear life after that.

Yes, going back to feeling rather sorry for myself..... looking at my array of medication - cough syrup, cough tablets, antibiotics (and the effin' strong dosage that makes your lips and tongue go dry and numb), painkillers for the damn pain in my ribs, day flu, night flu, dizziness, ... and what is this? A pill for stubborness? :P

With the Bali race in less than a week, I sure am feeling extremely sorry for myself and how I got to where I am today. I think the word we're looking for is "over-training". When JFT first offered me the sponsorship last year in October, I was of course elated. I had been training hard before and with the sponsorship confirmed, I trained harder. In fact, I trained damn blady hard for the race. I was at my peak 6 months ago. I was doing 27km - 30km long runs every weekends (30km in 2:30) and my idea of a Monday recovery run was doing an 18km run in 2:20. I was clocking up an average of 60 clicks per week on runs, and also spent time on the bike and in the pool. These are all on top of my weight training and my circuit training. I was getting one day of rest in between and I kept pushing every week. I felt I was at the top of my game and fitness level. I was so ready to take on Bali and do better than my Miri Tri PB of 2:57 in the Olympic Distant.

And what do you know? The higher one is, the faster they roll down the hill :P By the middle of March, my body seemed to be starting a protest campaign, starting with my knees acting up. Then, in the last week of March, my "great fall" took its toll on my knees and the "rolling downhill" just picked up its momentum from here on. For some reason, I also developed a cough at about the same time which never went away, and I am still coughing violently. So prolonged was the coughing that I injured my ribs. Or pulled a muscle there - which makes pushing my swim rather painful.

Despite all the above, I continued to train. I continued to push. I don't know if it was sheer stupidity or the prevailing of my "never say die" attitude (some might say - STUBBORNESS), I never stopped training. I may slack off, I may do junk miles, I may have even let my timing slip and slide a little, but I never stopped. There's always this very thin, grey line in which I can't make clear of. People always tell you, "Listen To Your Body"... but as endurance athletes, you're meant to push the boundaries. I mean, how do you train for the Ironman if you're going to give up at the slightest hint of pain? I kept on pushing for better time, or at least get back the timing I was doing 6 months ago. Some days, I get there. Most days, I couldn't.

It was very frustrating for me because the more I couldn't get back to my peak, the harder I pushed. And the final straw came when last Friday, I woke up with fever, sore throat, running nose - the whole works. I was sneezing all morning, and with this, in addition to the cough, my rib was in sheer pain. I was in pain even though I wasn't moving my body. And I knew right then that my dream of at least gunning for Top 5 finish in Bali was shattered. I couldn't even look Top 10 in the face. To be honest, I was in tears. MOH of course, had no idea what to do with me, although I knew it was at the tip of his tongue to say "I told you so!".

I think, after a weekend of trying to recuperate and finally taking some proper medication (and not some googled home-remedies), I'm finally coming to terms with my participation as a non-competitor in Bali. Well, at least, in my head, I think I have come to terms with it. If you race competitively, you would surely understand the frustration of changing your race goals from Top 5 finish + new PB to just finishing the race and try not to crawl to the finish line.

BUT, I also think, any athlete - even the top ones must surely have their time in the mud. And any athlete worth their salt would surely find a way to claw their way back to the top. I mean, a friend of mine told me once that the reason why the great endurance athletes are in the older age group is because they are smarter about it and they accept defeat with grace and fight their way back to the top when the right moment comes by. Perhaps, it is time for me to accept a first round defeat in the battle against my body's rioting :P Hey - if I could make a come back after a 3-year hiatus, I'm sure there's always the next race in which I could be racing strongly. The idea is to be able to race for a long, long time and not be a one-hit wonder, right?

So, I shall spend the next few days coming to terms with my shift in race goals and really, if you look at it, since the trip and all have been paid anyway, I might as well go there to have fun rather than sulk and cry. Right? Right? Right.

p/s : (It all make sense as I am writing this, and I am assuming this is part of my process of coming to terms with my goal shifts...... :\ )

Sofitel Luxury Wedding Fair - Running For Lifeboats

"When the Titanic is sinking, you don't stand there and scream at the iceberg. You run for the lifeboats." - Debra Barone in Everybody Loves Raymond

International & Local Vendors Group Shot (LiveStudios)

The 1st Luxury Wedding Fair - The Art Of Celebrating Weddings At The Sofitel Phnom Penh Pokeethra has come to an end. Whilst the days pre-fair were rather chaotic and disastrous, the fair was successfully held and finally closed on a very high note. A romantic one at that. This blogpost is going to be a long one, but rather personal and I hope inspiring to all. 

On the 2nd June 2011, all the international vendors - Beauty Haven, Carven Ong Couture, La Flaire Malaysia, LiveStudios, Marsio Timeless Productions, Kid Chan Photography, Janet Lee and Acadia Cards were scheduled to arrive and have a relaxing lunch and welcome briefing before the press conference takes place. Unfortunately, it being Cambodia and all, there was a big issue with the customs clearance of the decor products from La Flaire and ended up with the group being delayed for 2 whole hours. What a welcome, eh?

Nevertheless, they all arrived safely - minus the decor items - and we had a really great press conference. (Marsio - I apologize again for missing you out in the intro! OMG! How could I have missed such a big man??) The media had strings of questions and none were taken from the pre-planned guided media Q&As. It was good to see my industry friends from Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia again and it was also great to connect with wedding vendors from Cambodia, some we've worked with and some we haven't - Artworx Studio, iFriend Studio, Silk & Pepper (who supported us at our TWP launch too), Water Lily (Christine is a really funny and fun woman!), Romyda Keth, Khmer Angkor Jewellery (From grandpa Kim Seng to the grandchild, the entire family was super-nice), Bite Production, LiveWire and Royal Jazz Band - who were all very supportive and excited right from the start with the fair and have been darlings to work with throughout the preparation stages.

The workshops scheduled on the 3rd June were also great successes. Starting with the hair & beauty workshop by Beauty Haven for the local models who will be donning Carven's new collection and also Romyda Keth's bridal collection which had all the models learning the art of natural-looking make-up and they were eating right off Cindy's hands throughout the workshop. The photography and videography workshops were more of an informal coffee-table discussion between the international vendors with the local vendors - more of a skills-sharing and cultural exchange session - which was the whole idea of the workshop. We were not here to show them we are better than them. We are here to learn from them and vice-versa. This question was actually raised during the PC :)

The no-show of the decor items was nerve-wrecking all through the night and the day and even as myself and my local team kept chasing for the updates, there was little that we can do. I think one thing people need to understand when working in Cambodia is to know that sometimes, even the staff at a luxury hotel can have its set-backs. A lot of times, instructions are lost in translation and we don't get what we want, when we want it. What we need to do is to be flexible and find other means and ways to get what we want. A very good example was the fact that the hotel was reminded 6 times to make sure the flowers were brought to the ballroom before 12noon, but the flowers never showed till 4pm. Of course, many an hour were wasted from the wait. And it's not like Yaku from the hotel (who is another absolute darling to work with and I am grateful for his support) didn't crack his whip. He did. But what can you do? You can stand there and scream and shout but it doesn't solve the problem. I've learnt this many times the hard way, having been here for 3 years now.

Friday was fire-fighting all through the day and I was hell-bent on running for the lifeboats. I sure as hell ain't sinking with the damn ship and I sure as hell will not stand there screaming at the bloody icebergs. I am the "Cambodian" here. I regrouped my boys - Udom, Samneang & Sovann and launched a new plan of attack. My boys have been with me since Day 1 and while they have a long way to go, they have come a long way too. We engaged all of the Mango Rain's BAs to standby for the set-up - anticipating the late arrival of the decor items from customs. I am glad that my other business here in Cambodia gives me a pool of manpower to steal from at my whim and fancy for emergencies like these :P My BAs, they came at a moment's notice. I may be the fierce mother of a biatch with them when training them, but they are willing to stand alongside me in battle and I know gratitude where gratitude is needed. But the credit of the bond between management and these BAs have to be given to my local team. Basically, I am proud of all of them. They are now skilled florists - according to Bryan from O'hara.

For me, I was also grateful and touched to see all the other international vendors lending a helping hand to ensure the event turns out as spectacular as it can be. I am of course absolutely thankful that aside from my local team, my Nupts & Such team was here too - in the form of Cindy & Carolyn who were supposed to represent Beauty Haven. They were rock solid throughout - and even when they lost their luggage (since the hotel van decided to tour the town with their luggage!) - they didn't bother me with it. And they were there, cleaning flowers in the ballroom since 2pm right till after midnight. Another person I am eternally grateful to is Bryan. He came - supposedly on a holiday, but ended up working on the flowers despite the one-arm set-back. He was the man of the hour - when there were not enough flowers for him, he was flexible enough to change his floral designs. When we couldn't find ribbons, he made do with some straws. My utmost respect for him. And has to be made known - he had no logo up anywhere at all. Yet, he fought alongside. And then of course, there were my brother, Sue Yee (his now fiance as you all know) and Keam Hong who worked the hardest. NOW - in what capacity were they attending the fair? They are actually La Flaire's business investors. There was no need for them to lift a finger even. But in support of his sister, they all became overnight florists.

I am also thankful to Janet Lee who also helped with the floral arrangements and missed a night out with the rest, Keet from Carven Ong Couture who also stayed past midnight to help "poke" flowers as she put it. And then there was Marsio - the award-wining photographer and videographer from Indonesia who came to help as well. Well, not exactly him, but his wife, Mimi - who helped with folding of napkins and the flowers too. Aunty Debra helped too in the afternoon with the cleaning of roses. To all of you who helped, who came in to the ballroom to give moral support, I am truly grateful to each and everyone of you. If there be another time where you will need my helping hand, if it is within my powers and capabilities, I will be there.

As a result of so many people jumping onto lifeboats and rescuing the situation, the set-up was almost all ready by 4am in the morning and by 11am - we were absolutely ready for the Grand Opening. I cannot thank all of you enough. First - for your support in coming for the wedding fair, and secondly, for coming to the rescue. Orkun Charan!

The crowd for both days were more than expected and there were genuine enquiries. I hope for all partner-vendors that this is a good sign for businesses coming your way from Cambodia. On a selfish note - it is because I would of course like to see you back in Cambodia too! Janet Lee, as always, charmed her way into the Cambodian's hearts (and has an extremely big photo coverage in the Phnom Penh Post on the 6th June!) Everyone had fun, I would say, despite fatigue. Carven Ong was ill but managed to join us on the 2nd day. It was also a good avenue for networking - as I saw the photogs very busy promoting their FB pages :) But overall, I'm glad it all went well. I am happy to also have connected with some new local vendors that we have never worked with before. Mr. Kim Seng from Khmer Angkor Wat Jewellery made me the loveliest handmade brooch and he gave it to me hot from the oven. It was so sweet of him. The brooch is truly one-of-a-kind and I absolutely love it. Overall, the jive and vibe throughout with everyone, both local and international vendors alike were great. There were some photogs who came in as part of the crowd and tried to get a tip or two from the photographers at the fair and most of them were only too happy to share. THESE are exactly the type of things to see and be inspired from.

And then, we ended on a very high and romantic note - a wedding proposal. Of course, this wasn't impromptu. It was pre-planned since the 'proposer' was my bro. Everyone of the vendors had a downright good laugh and made fun of his nerves and jittery trembles. On behalf of my brother, Ernie, for all who were involved in the conspiracy, I thank you all. (Crikey! I am chalking up a favour-debt!!). Marsio, Willy, Kid - for documenting the moment. Bryan - ONCE AGAIN - who created the very meaningful bouquet : 3 pink roses for I Love You, 9 white roses for eternal love, purple eustomas surrounding the bouquet to symbolize giving the girl an entire lifetime of romance. Bryan even brought the 3 diamantes all the way from Penang. Thank you to Janet too for doing the Opening Song - all a part of the entire "act". When Ernie sang "What Are Words" by Chris Medina - it brought almost everyone to tears - even the big, big Marsio :) A true romantic wedding videographer, perhaps. I'm happy to be a part of the first step in my brother's once-in-a-lifetime moment. It had been fun as I recall the times I helped him sort out the ring, the words, the plans - all the way from here in Cambodia. Well, that was a pretty high note, I would say. :)

Once again, I would like to thank ALL for their support of me and The Wedding Planners to put together one of the best wedding fairs in Cambodia - Artworx Studio, iFriend Studio, Romyda Keth, Khmer Angkor Jewellery, Water Lily, Silk & Pepper, Royal Jazz Band, Bite Production, Livewire, Beauty Haven, Janet Lee, La Flaire, Kid Chan Photography, LiveStudios, Marsio Timeless Production, Carven Ong Couture and Acadia Cards. Together, we CAN.

I am also thankful to the powers out there for answering my prayers :) And very nearly forgot to thank MOH for helping out too!!

Cindy Chang at work with the flowers

Bryan giving yet another crash course to Janet and Ah Kai

My Mango Rain team hard at work

Another crash course for Ernie & Sue by Bryan

Boys who are into flowers :)

Mimi & Marsio having fun too :)

The adorable Wai Keet "poking" them flowers

Bryan giving Carolyn instructions...

Enjoy more photos here : Sofitel Wedding Fair & The Big Proposal :)

1st Half : Eating, Praying, Loving

In a flash of a flash, it's already first half of the year gone (well, almost anyway). Anticipating that my schedule would only get crazier, I'm posting my thoughts now before cobwebs start growing on my blog. It felt like not too long ago that I posted this inspiring piece 2011 : Eating, Praying & Loving. Well, where are we at with that so far?

For starters, I've been praying for 181 days - and proud to say that I haven't missed a single day of prayers since I started. What do I pray for? *smile* All good things and guidance, I guess and at times, some sort of divine intervention, not just for me, but for all of my loved ones too. And I shall continue praying everyday, and smiling thankfully as I see and feel my prayers being answered.

To be honest, staying positive and culminating an all-around positive attitude hasn't been that easy. Especially since my health has taken quite a blow for the past couple of months, starting with a great fall, hurting my knees and I have this cough which, no matter how much I pray, just will not go away! It's 2 months now, this bloody cough. Some days, I wake up feeling awful and tired, but I still try to stay disciplined and drag my body over to the gym for some training (nevermind the few thousand slaps I will get from making this statement) and because I don't make good time in my training, I feel even more awful afterwards. But no, honestly, I think I am getting better :) I am! I am! *brings fingers to both sides of the temples, channeling positive energy to make the cough go away*

Eversince I have decided to look at my glass half-full again after the turbulent negativities of 2010, I've seen with my own eyes, the amazing-ness a change of attitude can do. I've been meeting the nicest people, the kindest people, the nicest clients, the nicest vendors - you know, from the security guards to my landlady, to the hotel personnels I work with right down to the girl at the check-out counter when I do my groceries. My landlady's house-boy cleans my car for me every week - although, I think it is more so because the dirty state of my car is an embarassment since it is parked right in front of the apartment block :P The hotels that I work with - they send their chauffeur-driven limo rides to pick me up for a meeting or a site recce with them - now THAT is what I call service. My clients bring me gifts and snacks from overseas and tells me to remember to take my vitamins so that I stay strong and healthy planning their wedding. Well, these people didn't magically appear in my life. I'm not delusional. I had been so negative for the most of 2010 that I failed to see the goodness and the kindness in people. There ARE people in this world who would clean your car simply because they like seeing you smile and not because they want to get paid (and don't want you to embarass them :P). There ARE people in this world who genuinely respect you for your experience and role and treat you as a partner. There ARE people in this world who smile at you simply because you smiled at them too. All we need to do is open our eyes. Slap me should I ever forget this again.

But as I mentioned - there are the not-so-perky days. Days where aside from the body failing to achieve personal best times, there's also a lot of work-stress and drama. Days where there are just those amongst us who choose to behave like morons on the fearless streets of da Penh and there are just those amongst us who choose to be annoyingly irritating when it comes to work-related stuff. Oh, don't get me wrong. Whilst I pray for patience everyday, I do realize it is something that I seriously need to work on. My number one pet peeve is missed deadlines. Simple - if I can meet my deadlines, why can't you meet yours? (I also pray for understanding everyday :P). But I know these are part and parcel of work and because I work with so many different people, I have to understand that everyone has their own style of work (I will TRY to understand why being tardy and disorganized is a chosen style :P). These are nothing compared to those who strive on dramas and negativities in everything that they do. Even though you try to spread the positivity to them, they prefer to pour cold water on you. What gets me really is to sometimes feel or realize that even your own partner isn't giving you the support required. In fact, at times, they are the ones creating more drama for you at work. Having to walk on egg-shells with your partners ain't fun. It is at times like these that I pray for divine intervention. What I have learnt to do is to deal with it the best way I know how and change my frequency. Of course, at times, I do snap. Like I said, patience is not yet my virtue. And thinking on the positive side, quoting Herm Albright : "A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort." So, hah!

But then again, there are also partners that I do really enjoy working with. Sometimes, it is not about bringing in the fat of the bacon. A tiny lean bit is fine too, as long as we're all happy doing it. Right? To these partners, I am thankful that you are my partner and I am happy to have the opportunity to work with you - all of you :)

Overall though, things have been going fairly well, cough and all. I mean, hey - it could be worse, yes? *grin* I look around me and I know my life has been truly blessed thus far. I have good food on the table (part of the "Eating") whenever I wish, nice clothes on my back (my limited wardrobe is something of my own choosing - I'm not a wardrobe person and as MOH says - I only shop for clothes when I am on a holiday at the beach :P) and many roofs over my head - yes - how many people get to say that? I have a few different houses to choose to stay in whenever I am back in KL *grin*. Over and above that - I have so much love surrounding me, from my family, MOH and my friends. Especially MOH. I was reminded recently by Kris Wong of his answer to the following question : "Will Eileen be a good wife?" and his response was "I know Richard will be a good husband." (Kris Wong : Thanks for the show of support :P)

Anyway, also, all my businesses are going well, being busy is good and I still make time to do what I love doing - training, teaching, going to the orphanage, cooking and definitely catching up on CSI (all 3 series) and Criminal Minds (Thomas Gibson is da bombs!!). I have time because I wake up at 3.50am every morning :P And when I need to - I wake up earlier than that. Those who need a wake-up call, just buzz me :P

With the second half of the year approaching, I strive to give lots of love and put a smile on people's faces - even if they are strangers, and be a kinder and more compassionate person. I have to mention this - this is serious divine intervention - I've been praying for the children at the orphanage everyday too, for them to always be surrounded by love, joy and happiness (your heart would break to know that nobody wants to adopt any of these kids because of their HIV condition). I smile knowing my prayers have been answered because recently, there has been a lot more groups of volunteers going to the orphanage, bringing with them love and joy for the kids. It's great to see kind and compassionate people everywhere *smile*

I also strive to continue staying positive and looking at my glass as blady full. I want to enjoy the journey because I know this is one helluva ride. Even better is the fact that I've got a terrible sense of direction. So, if I get lost, it's gonna be one helluva adventure *LOL*

Love Grass

I had a sudden flashback to my days as a kid. Specifically, to a certain boy at school. No, no, nothing of THAT sort. This was in primary school. And I didn't like this boy. Because he was annoying and a Bully. I actually remember his name - but shall not post it up here.

Well, I remember one incident where Bully tricked me into walking across the school padang where apparently, there were some 'buried treasures'. Ok. Yes, I was gullible. Reading all those loads of Enid Blytons did not help my wish to see fantasy come true :P Well, what Bully was trying to do was get love grass sticking all over my pinafore and my socks. He actually pushed me so that I fell on them.

And boy, did they stick. I wanted to kick his balls so hard afterwards (because I knew even then that kicking them nuts would hurt him like hell) but he was stronger and faster than I was.

For some reason, this flashback came to me today and I must remember to give thanks to Bully. Because on the bright side of things, who would've thought - I had 'love' stuck all over me! 20 plus years later, here I am, still thankful for the love that constantly surrounds me - from my family, my friends and my doting MOH.

I am blessed.

p/s : I never thought too that I could write such a short post for my blog. I usually get rather long-winded :P  


Photo of Love Grass from www.illinoiswildflowers.info