Weddings : A Learning Curve in Cambodia

Chris & Pisey's Monk Blessing Ceremony

Over the last weekend, The Wedding Planners in Cambodia planned the first "trend-setting" wedding here in Cambodia. Whilst the traditional Khmer ceremonies and rituals carried on as per usual, the wedding reception style was changed to something more in-tune with what you and I are used to - in other words - westernized. We had the pre-dinner cocktails, place cards seating arrangements, bridal grand walk-in and minimalistic decor of a chosen colour theme. And these were all on top of the Church Ceremony which was held a day before the reception.

For those of you who may not be familiar with the settings of a Cambodian wedding, it is actually a colourful affair - from the traditional ceremonies to the wedding reception. Actually, we ought to be familiar with it as it is almost similar to a "kenduri-style" wedding back home. But instead of the bride and groom sitting quietly on the dais, the Cambodian couple stands at the entrance to greet all their guests - starting from perhaps 4pm till 7pm before they head in to carry out some of the wedding formalities like speeches, cake-feeding and the dancing. Usually, guests are invited to come by the dozens - neighbours, distant neighbours, friends, acquaintances and they come and go from the hours of 4pm - 9pm. You can have 50 tables at the reception, but you may well invite over 2,000 guests! That is because as soon as a table of 10 is filled, they serve dinner and once dinner is finished, the guests leave and the table is re-set for the next set of 10. Doesn't it remind you of our "kenduris" in the kampung?

The wedding over the weekend was held at The Raffles here in da Penh and aside from the westernized arrangements of the reception, the guest list was trimmed to a mere 150 - another unusual encounter for Cambodian weddings - this is actually to facilitate everyone showing up at the same time, eating at the same time and leaving at the same time - again, something which you and I are more familiar with but not for the locals :)

Well, the wedding planning process which took place over a period of 6 months was an absolute blast, actually. The clients, Chris & Pisey (Chris being American facilitated to changing the trend a lot easier) were a real joy to work with and left their trust in me and my team to ensure that a great wedding was brought to live. With clients like these, I am reminded of how much I lurve my job as a wedding planner *smile*.

However, working in Cambodia proves to be a tad more challenging than normal. Especially for weddings. For those who don't know, my main bread and butter here in da Penh isn't the wedding planning business but my advertising and events business. For weddings, whilst I am established in Malaysia, I am merely making tiny first steps here in Cambodia. After a year-long "educational" process, finally, some of the 5-star hotels are starting to look at making weddings a unique and personalized showcase here in Cambodia too and thus 2 wedding fairs in the first half of the year (had the wedding biz been my bread and butter, I would've starved :P). As mentioned, another sure-thing about Cambodian weddings is that one wedding is the same as the next, and the next, and the next - you get my drift. Same colours, same flowers, same arches, etc. ! I have both locals and expat tell me that after awhile, you do not remember whose wedding was whose even from looking at the photos! Very true indeed.

Anyway, as I was saying, given the growing middle-class over the last couple of years, we are starting to see the locals becoming more open-minded and a little - just a little more receptive towards new wedding styles and ideas. But it is this in-between period that is also challenging because it meant that wedding planners the likes of me - have to really convince the client into trying out something different and most importantly - convincing them of personalizing their weddings. We have to convince them that natural-looking make-up is the way to go so that they look absolutely stunning on their wedding day. We have to convince them that hiring a photography team outside of Malaysia would offer them different styling to their wedding album. We have to convince them that doing a grand walk-in / wedding march-in would be a memorable experience. We have to convince them that the price is worth every penny that they are paying. (eg. local photographers can go for USD600 for the full day from 3am to 11pm!) The list goes on.

If they bought into the whole trend-setting idea of changing their wedding style, it wasn't the end of story for us. We have to now convince the local wedding vendors - from the venue to the florist to even the photographer or videographer if they were hired locally, that the 'concept' of the wedding has changed and these are the adjustments we need to do - whether in terms of make-up, photos or decorations. Even hotels the likes of Raffles would need to be taught to give a ballroom lay-out plan which takes into account the bridal walk-in on the red carpet! Sound system is a whole other issue in Cambodia. The quality of sound system is often gauged by how LOUD the music can be blasted even in a small ballroom. But say what you like, the vendor refused to tone down the decibels. So you just visualize this very elegant setting vs ear drums-breaking sound. You could not hear yourself think even! After convincing these vendors, there is that "Cambodia Challenge" that we have to go through - which is professionally-delivered service and product. Unfortunately, as mentioned in a previous post, most often in Cambodia, what you ask for, you may not get. Over the years of working here, I've realized this "It's ok" attitude amongst the local Cambodians. For example, my stage backdrop was chipped and had holes - likely damaged when they were transporting the thing - and of course, I wasn't happy about it, being anal and all. But the local guy would tell me "It's ok. It looks fine still. Nobody can see." You just want to smack him one, but you can't. Or when the vendor shows up with an arrangement that is different from what was agreed prior, it's also the "It's ok. It still looks fine." argument. The thing is, the Cambodian clients understand this working culture. And hopefully, the non-Cambodian client also understands the so called "culture" here. But I don't - and it sometimes baffles me as to why do the vendors think they can get away with something like that? Even the venue could spring a surprise on you on the event day itself by telling you they do not have red carpet in the entire hotel. OMG. (So people need to understand that last-minute changes, etc... does not really work-out well in Cambodia)....

After convincing the clients, followed by the vendors, I realized we also had to brace ourselves in convincing the locals who attend the wedding. It can be an endless process of the following : "What is pre-dinner cocktail?" / "Why do I have to sign the Wish Tree cards and hang it?" / "I want to take back the Wish Tree cards." / "Why can't I eat now?" / "What time do we leave?" /  "I brought 4 more people and I want to sit together" / "What are place cards?" and whilst all these were going on, they were stepping all over my lovely, lovely aisle petals. :\ Big lesson learnt - never-ever do place card arrangements again in Cambodia, no matter how small the wedding guest list might be :P At least, not for the next couple of years!

Overall, I had a great time with this particular wedding, having done a few in Cambodia already. I was also pleased that I managed to convince the client to hire a team of photographers from Malaysia to capture their memorable moments - 1am Studio - who did a GREAT JOB and helped rush a fast-edit for a surprise slideshow for the clients too. I'm happy some of my Malaysian comrades have witnessed first-hand what it's like at a Cambodian wedding (the most tiring wedding shoot they had done, apparently!) I am pleased with how the entire wedding turned out and definitely brimming with pride when the couple and both their families came up to me to give words of gratitude and encouragements. Even the GM at the Raffles was impressed and now wish to work closer with us at TWP. Of course, I only stood around and looked pretty :P My team was the real doers and they deserve a pat on the back. Make it two.

During a PR interview recently, when the reporter asked if bringing in international vendors meant that we are better than the local vendors, my answer was as follows : "No, it does not mean that we are better than the local vendors. We are just offering a different style and we should learn from one another to grow the business and grow the industry. This is what we call exchange of knowledge, skills and culture between one another. I could teach you about delivering professional service and you could teach me about your local culture and customs or the photographer could teach you about different techniques and you could teach them about your local styles and concepts. In this world, there is no such thing as you are better or I am better. We need to share in order to grow."

As I sit and reflect on some of the 'unseen' chaos during the wedding which took place, I realized that doing weddings in Cambodia is going to be a bitch of a climb up the learning curve - both for myself, for potential clients, for vendors and for local guests. But everyone has to start somewhere and I welcome the challenge. I had almost forgotten - we all started out the same back home - from somewhere too, taking that first step. I just need to work on my zen habits and try to stay calm and patient :P

Some of the vendors who came over for the launch of TWP back in 2009 have questioned why they haven't been asked to do anything more for Cambodia and why some other vendors are given the jobs instead. If you had read all the above, you would find your explanation. Given the "educational" process that we still have to go through with every job (not just weddings, mind you), convincing and convincing clients to engage more professional service providers and products at a 300% higher fee...  it IS an uphill climb indeed. You may have invested your time and money once to take a look at Cambodia. I have invested not just money, but my time here in Cambodia - and I am STILL learning. I am in this for the long haul in order for me to reap the rewards of my efforts and passion. Are you willing to be in it for the long-haul here?

Because, I definitely would welcome all local & international industry friends to help me fight a good fight here and grow the industry in Cambodia :) For those who have believed and supported me - whether physically or morally from near and far - I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

For more great photos - you will have to wait for the awesome ones from 1am Studio! :)

Church Ceremony decor

Simple & Elegant look for the Wedding Reception decor

Me and my boys

Sofitel Luxury Wedding Fair - Running For Lifeboats

"When the Titanic is sinking, you don't stand there and scream at the iceberg. You run for the lifeboats." - Debra Barone in Everybody Loves Raymond

International & Local Vendors Group Shot (LiveStudios)

The 1st Luxury Wedding Fair - The Art Of Celebrating Weddings At The Sofitel Phnom Penh Pokeethra has come to an end. Whilst the days pre-fair were rather chaotic and disastrous, the fair was successfully held and finally closed on a very high note. A romantic one at that. This blogpost is going to be a long one, but rather personal and I hope inspiring to all. 

On the 2nd June 2011, all the international vendors - Beauty Haven, Carven Ong Couture, La Flaire Malaysia, LiveStudios, Marsio Timeless Productions, Kid Chan Photography, Janet Lee and Acadia Cards were scheduled to arrive and have a relaxing lunch and welcome briefing before the press conference takes place. Unfortunately, it being Cambodia and all, there was a big issue with the customs clearance of the decor products from La Flaire and ended up with the group being delayed for 2 whole hours. What a welcome, eh?

Nevertheless, they all arrived safely - minus the decor items - and we had a really great press conference. (Marsio - I apologize again for missing you out in the intro! OMG! How could I have missed such a big man??) The media had strings of questions and none were taken from the pre-planned guided media Q&As. It was good to see my industry friends from Malaysia, Singapore and Indonesia again and it was also great to connect with wedding vendors from Cambodia, some we've worked with and some we haven't - Artworx Studio, iFriend Studio, Silk & Pepper (who supported us at our TWP launch too), Water Lily (Christine is a really funny and fun woman!), Romyda Keth, Khmer Angkor Jewellery (From grandpa Kim Seng to the grandchild, the entire family was super-nice), Bite Production, LiveWire and Royal Jazz Band - who were all very supportive and excited right from the start with the fair and have been darlings to work with throughout the preparation stages.

The workshops scheduled on the 3rd June were also great successes. Starting with the hair & beauty workshop by Beauty Haven for the local models who will be donning Carven's new collection and also Romyda Keth's bridal collection which had all the models learning the art of natural-looking make-up and they were eating right off Cindy's hands throughout the workshop. The photography and videography workshops were more of an informal coffee-table discussion between the international vendors with the local vendors - more of a skills-sharing and cultural exchange session - which was the whole idea of the workshop. We were not here to show them we are better than them. We are here to learn from them and vice-versa. This question was actually raised during the PC :)

The no-show of the decor items was nerve-wrecking all through the night and the day and even as myself and my local team kept chasing for the updates, there was little that we can do. I think one thing people need to understand when working in Cambodia is to know that sometimes, even the staff at a luxury hotel can have its set-backs. A lot of times, instructions are lost in translation and we don't get what we want, when we want it. What we need to do is to be flexible and find other means and ways to get what we want. A very good example was the fact that the hotel was reminded 6 times to make sure the flowers were brought to the ballroom before 12noon, but the flowers never showed till 4pm. Of course, many an hour were wasted from the wait. And it's not like Yaku from the hotel (who is another absolute darling to work with and I am grateful for his support) didn't crack his whip. He did. But what can you do? You can stand there and scream and shout but it doesn't solve the problem. I've learnt this many times the hard way, having been here for 3 years now.

Friday was fire-fighting all through the day and I was hell-bent on running for the lifeboats. I sure as hell ain't sinking with the damn ship and I sure as hell will not stand there screaming at the bloody icebergs. I am the "Cambodian" here. I regrouped my boys - Udom, Samneang & Sovann and launched a new plan of attack. My boys have been with me since Day 1 and while they have a long way to go, they have come a long way too. We engaged all of the Mango Rain's BAs to standby for the set-up - anticipating the late arrival of the decor items from customs. I am glad that my other business here in Cambodia gives me a pool of manpower to steal from at my whim and fancy for emergencies like these :P My BAs, they came at a moment's notice. I may be the fierce mother of a biatch with them when training them, but they are willing to stand alongside me in battle and I know gratitude where gratitude is needed. But the credit of the bond between management and these BAs have to be given to my local team. Basically, I am proud of all of them. They are now skilled florists - according to Bryan from O'hara.

For me, I was also grateful and touched to see all the other international vendors lending a helping hand to ensure the event turns out as spectacular as it can be. I am of course absolutely thankful that aside from my local team, my Nupts & Such team was here too - in the form of Cindy & Carolyn who were supposed to represent Beauty Haven. They were rock solid throughout - and even when they lost their luggage (since the hotel van decided to tour the town with their luggage!) - they didn't bother me with it. And they were there, cleaning flowers in the ballroom since 2pm right till after midnight. Another person I am eternally grateful to is Bryan. He came - supposedly on a holiday, but ended up working on the flowers despite the one-arm set-back. He was the man of the hour - when there were not enough flowers for him, he was flexible enough to change his floral designs. When we couldn't find ribbons, he made do with some straws. My utmost respect for him. And has to be made known - he had no logo up anywhere at all. Yet, he fought alongside. And then of course, there were my brother, Sue Yee (his now fiance as you all know) and Keam Hong who worked the hardest. NOW - in what capacity were they attending the fair? They are actually La Flaire's business investors. There was no need for them to lift a finger even. But in support of his sister, they all became overnight florists.

I am also thankful to Janet Lee who also helped with the floral arrangements and missed a night out with the rest, Keet from Carven Ong Couture who also stayed past midnight to help "poke" flowers as she put it. And then there was Marsio - the award-wining photographer and videographer from Indonesia who came to help as well. Well, not exactly him, but his wife, Mimi - who helped with folding of napkins and the flowers too. Aunty Debra helped too in the afternoon with the cleaning of roses. To all of you who helped, who came in to the ballroom to give moral support, I am truly grateful to each and everyone of you. If there be another time where you will need my helping hand, if it is within my powers and capabilities, I will be there.

As a result of so many people jumping onto lifeboats and rescuing the situation, the set-up was almost all ready by 4am in the morning and by 11am - we were absolutely ready for the Grand Opening. I cannot thank all of you enough. First - for your support in coming for the wedding fair, and secondly, for coming to the rescue. Orkun Charan!

The crowd for both days were more than expected and there were genuine enquiries. I hope for all partner-vendors that this is a good sign for businesses coming your way from Cambodia. On a selfish note - it is because I would of course like to see you back in Cambodia too! Janet Lee, as always, charmed her way into the Cambodian's hearts (and has an extremely big photo coverage in the Phnom Penh Post on the 6th June!) Everyone had fun, I would say, despite fatigue. Carven Ong was ill but managed to join us on the 2nd day. It was also a good avenue for networking - as I saw the photogs very busy promoting their FB pages :) But overall, I'm glad it all went well. I am happy to also have connected with some new local vendors that we have never worked with before. Mr. Kim Seng from Khmer Angkor Wat Jewellery made me the loveliest handmade brooch and he gave it to me hot from the oven. It was so sweet of him. The brooch is truly one-of-a-kind and I absolutely love it. Overall, the jive and vibe throughout with everyone, both local and international vendors alike were great. There were some photogs who came in as part of the crowd and tried to get a tip or two from the photographers at the fair and most of them were only too happy to share. THESE are exactly the type of things to see and be inspired from.

And then, we ended on a very high and romantic note - a wedding proposal. Of course, this wasn't impromptu. It was pre-planned since the 'proposer' was my bro. Everyone of the vendors had a downright good laugh and made fun of his nerves and jittery trembles. On behalf of my brother, Ernie, for all who were involved in the conspiracy, I thank you all. (Crikey! I am chalking up a favour-debt!!). Marsio, Willy, Kid - for documenting the moment. Bryan - ONCE AGAIN - who created the very meaningful bouquet : 3 pink roses for I Love You, 9 white roses for eternal love, purple eustomas surrounding the bouquet to symbolize giving the girl an entire lifetime of romance. Bryan even brought the 3 diamantes all the way from Penang. Thank you to Janet too for doing the Opening Song - all a part of the entire "act". When Ernie sang "What Are Words" by Chris Medina - it brought almost everyone to tears - even the big, big Marsio :) A true romantic wedding videographer, perhaps. I'm happy to be a part of the first step in my brother's once-in-a-lifetime moment. It had been fun as I recall the times I helped him sort out the ring, the words, the plans - all the way from here in Cambodia. Well, that was a pretty high note, I would say. :)

Once again, I would like to thank ALL for their support of me and The Wedding Planners to put together one of the best wedding fairs in Cambodia - Artworx Studio, iFriend Studio, Romyda Keth, Khmer Angkor Jewellery, Water Lily, Silk & Pepper, Royal Jazz Band, Bite Production, Livewire, Beauty Haven, Janet Lee, La Flaire, Kid Chan Photography, LiveStudios, Marsio Timeless Production, Carven Ong Couture and Acadia Cards. Together, we CAN.

I am also thankful to the powers out there for answering my prayers :) And very nearly forgot to thank MOH for helping out too!!

Cindy Chang at work with the flowers

Bryan giving yet another crash course to Janet and Ah Kai

My Mango Rain team hard at work

Another crash course for Ernie & Sue by Bryan

Boys who are into flowers :)

Mimi & Marsio having fun too :)

The adorable Wai Keet "poking" them flowers

Bryan giving Carolyn instructions...

Enjoy more photos here : Sofitel Wedding Fair & The Big Proposal :)