Counting Down 338 days to CNY 2012



Can you see my Prawns??? :)

 In a flash of a flash, CNY 2011 is over. Unfortunately for me, this year, seemed a lot shorter than usual because my trip home to KL was short. Nevertheless, I am thankful for yet another awesome CNY celebration with my family back in the kampung. And it was also rather fabulous for me this year in Cambodia too - celebrating with the kids at the orphanage.

CNY is a big thing for my family - seeing as we don't celebrate Christmas - at all. It always start off with the escalating spring cleaning and the buying of new attire - top, bottom, inside, outside, right down to slippers and shoes. Over the years, I had learnt to 'stock up' on new clothings - something MOH finds extremely bizarre. He would buy a new top for me and I'd say "Great! I'll keep this for CNY." I think I might have successfully stocked up on new clothes for the next twenty CNYs! Each year, there is always only new clothes needed for the 1st Day and the 2nd Day. Ok. Ok. I'll admit - I am a hoarder! There's also this thing in my family with new slippers every year and new towels too! Needless to say - I have a collection of these too!

When I was going through my teenage rebellion streak - I always smirked ridiculously at this superstitious ritual. In fact, I ridiculed all the superstitions in the house (no sweeping, no reading books, no washing hair, no uttering the word "die", no cursing, no sewing, etc.. etc..). I claimed myself to be the "modernized and westernized Gen X" and hell, I'll wear black on the 1st day of CNY if I want to! The year I was in Australia, the ONE and ONLY year I celebrated CNY far away from family, I cried and cried. Finally, I understood what it all meant. It meant me, being Chinese. It meant me, having a family. It meant me, understanding my own roots, tradition and culture.

CNY is the one time the entire clan get-together in the family home (an old, battered kampung house) and we all reunite to catch up and poke fun at one another. We set aside our differences and live with each other harmoniously for a few days. There'll be a lot of laughing and joking and of course, wit and sarcasm as well which are all taken well. I wouldn't vouch for the harmony to last beyond 2 weeks though! You know how every family has their own dramas :P

I think it being a Chinese village and all, the CNY atmosphere and ambience seem to be oozing in the air. Every household is busy and buzzing with families coming home too. Cars with outstation plates would be parked on any empty space available. And of course, when 12.00 midnight strikes, the entire village sounds like a battle zone - giant fireworks and firecrackers!!! You see - you don't get this much in KL, let alone in tiny uni-town, Bathurst, Australia!! THIS is what CNY should be like - not the shopping malls and the sales - but really, the ching-chong-ching-chong CNY music, the loud lion dance drumming, the smuggled and illegal firecrackers that are 3-storeys tall, the shameless receiving of ang pows (of course, I no longer pocket that much, but I still do!! And I'll shamelessley receive it in glee) and of course - who can forget the FOOD?

The other thing about why I love going back to my kampung is the fact that Tanjung Tualang is also endearingly known as the Pekan Udang Galah - and I am a big fat lover of these freshwater prawns (in fact, all seafood, except fish!!). Because I have my Uncles all twirled around my fingertips (yes, despite being married and all, I'm still the favourite :P), I'd always place an order of the prawns because if you don't place orders at the market, you might not get any since everyone wants some of those prawns! I make my orders - to make sure we have them for the reunion dinner and for the Hoi Nien lunch and dinner. I'd place an order with my Sam Suk. And then, as a back-up, I'd place an order with my Yee Suk too! Yee Suk would usually bring these fabulous seafood back from Sabah and one box of prawns would have my name written on it. YET, I crave for the Tanjung Tualang prawns, and as such - I make my demands! :) And I do get them! Every year, they would still fall for the same trick - I would order with Sam Suk, and with Yee Suk, and they'd both come back with the prawns and be surprised that they BOTH bought them - which means, I have extra. Hahahahaha! But yet, they still do it for me every year. What gives? Me :)

Of course, not to mention Ah Por cooks up a storm too. Well, back in the day at least when she was less fragile, back in the day where cholesterol wasn't a problem with anyone, back in the day where people weren't watching their diets. These days, we have some who doesn't want to eat too much meat, some who doesn't eat white rice, some who cannot take too much high-cholesterol food, etc. The dishes for CNY now are much simpler and healthier. But always - the Steamed White Chicken - which is another must on the table (besides my Steamed Prawns). The chicken is to cater to my Dad :) Back in the day too, my brother and I would get the drumstick - one each. But it's not so much fun "booking" your drumstick as adults. "I put my saliva on this one. This is mine!" You know, that sort of thing :P

And then, sure as hell as the big feasting for main meals, there are also a myriad of CNY goodies and snacks spread out in the living room area for munching. Ohhhh..... these are my favourites. Sometimes, I'd just have my prawns for dinner and save room for all these junk food! The arrowroot chips, pistachios, crabstick chips, cookies - like a dozen different types, dried meat - and occassionally, if I do ask my Ah Por, she would steam Nin Gao for me as well - eaten with coconut shavings. Ooh La La! Yummy, yummy. Diets and all, promptly forgotten at the sight of these little containers with the red covers :)

Ultimately for me, it is spending time with my Ah Por (back in the day too, also spending time with my Ah Kung). I am very close to her since young and would help her do all the prayers in the house, from the CNY eve prayers right to the Hoi Nien prayers. She is a very staunch Taoist. I'm not sure my faith is as strong as hers, but I think these are all just a part of our Chinese culture and if you do really look it up in history, you'd learn about it. I'll get to it someday, I guess. Anyway, yes, so for me - it is about spending time with Ah Por and catching up with her and eating her cooking and getting some "manja-me" time from her. Each year, I can tell she is getting more and more frail. I pray she lives a long, long, long and prosperous life.

Selfishly, it is because I do not wish anything to change for my CNY celebrations. I wish that every year, it would be the same - family reunion with great food in the tiny, kampung house (which I plan to renovate one day to make it... more comfy) and listening to stories from Ah Por and all my aunties and uncles. I know that deep down, the rest of my family does not feel the same way as me with the traveling back to the kampung. It is currently, a yearly ritual for all to ensure Ah Por is happy. In a way, I am thankful that they know how to think of it that way. I am happy that Ah Por is happy to see everyone back home for the CNY. She is as Chinese as Chinese New Year itself.

I am also thankful that MOH lets me come back home to my side of the family for the CNY celebrations. I can tell you that I wouldn't have it any other way (and yes, this was negotiated before I agreed to get married!). Well, he told me CNY wasn't celebrated in a big way with his side of the family, so we're ok. In fact, one year before we got married, my Mother-In-Law came to celebrate CNY with my family - without my Father-In-Law. The one year my Mom did not come home for CNY with us, the entire village thought my parents had divorced!

Well, the feasting has ended (at least the gluttony part of it), the trips have been made, but my family remains in my heart - always.

Here's counting down to January 23rd, 2012 - to yet another year of abundance in wealth, prosperity and joy. Happy CNY in advance to all!    

Seek Fortune, Not Vengeance. Seek Life, Not Death.

Whilst there is a whole lot of work waiting for me to clear at the moment, I'm taking a time-out to re-channel my energies. It is called recollecting my 'zen' :P

Partnerships, as I had written earlier here, is about effort. Alot of it. Sometimes, marriage seems to be an easier partnership. At least, the chances of knowing who you are sleeping with are a lot higher! Almost five months after my last posting about partnership, I am still learning. Yea, yea... I call it work-in-progress. This learning curve, will never end.

I think I'm just a little cranky today. I think the flu congestion in my nose has now spread to my brains!

But today, I'm tired of people who aren't part of the solution, yet they want to be a part of the problem. I cannot for the life of me figure that one out. All I know is that partnerships are not meant to be this way! Right or wrong? Partnerships are also about team work and team support. Ok, this area is lacking, I fill up there. That area is lacking, he fills up that one. When a mistake happens, what's the point in highlighting the mistake over and over again? As a team - I think the right way to do it should be finding solutions. You keep stoking the problem, it ain't gonna help the situation now, would it?

And what's up with all the drama and 'I-don't-friend-you-She-don't-friend-me' nonsense? Business is not child's play, my friend. Business is about setting targets, goals, objectives and meeting them. Meeting them the right way, of course. And the "right way" may be subjective. But I would say - choose your battles. Sure, you lose some battles - so what? Your aim is really to win the war, no? Not asking you to lose so many battles that it is an imminent defeat for you in the war! Choose your battles! Look at the Big Picture! There are some clients which I don't particularly like, but hell, I have to make it work the best way I can sometimes, right? True, given the fact that I am now in a position to sometimes choose my clients, I'll weed out those who are a bit .... too much, as they say (0.70 per day for my fee, the client can certainly terbang wau). But it doesn't mean I get to choose each and every time. Certain months, sales target is low, and we just have to grit our teeth and bear it, isn't it? And certains vendors - maybe you just plain don't like her face. But she's the best in town and you know your client loves her work. What do you do? I mean, we all tend to get personal and emotional because hey - this is after all, our own business. If it's not personal, then what is it, right? Again - choose your battles.

Sometimes, I feel I haven't been giving my numerous teams much support. Sometimes, I feel I haven't been given much support too. And with me stuck halfway through Timbaktoo, it ain't that fun either. Sometimes, even with your own partners, you need to explain your situation, your problems, your troubles and trash things out with each other. You never know, maybe there is a solution when you put another brain into the issue! I mean, if you suddenly tell me you have to leave early from an event and you don't tell me why - of course I would jump! And it'll just be too selfish of you to say "I want to leave, I leave!". All these child's play - Very The Tiring. And when you can't meet deadlines or you can't cope or whatever it may be - isn't it just common courtesy to voice this out rather than keeping the other party waiting.... and waiting.... and waiting..... and waiting....... and waiting some more? I'm not married to you! I don't know when you will fart, I don't know what it means when you keep quiet. Hell, I don't even know what it means when MOH does that! What more a partner that I don't exactly sleep with literally?? We are all learning. We are all learning about each other and hopefully how to work with each other better. Not how to kill each other better!

There is a Chinese saying - it goes like this : "Seek Fortune, Not Vengeance. Seek Life, Not Death."

To all my partners - whether you are client, industry vendor, team member, affliates, associates, business partner - no matter how unorthodoxed my methods may be, I've always got your backs.

My question is - have you got mine?

The Young & The Naked - Slammed

One of our Nude Portraits by
Yeh Poh Chung

Wow.. what a debate there is, eh? On the 2nd of January 2011, New Sunday Times published a story on nude photography and yours truly was featured in it here. Of course, a week later, it was time for slamming the press for being irresponsible, etc, etc.

As with every issues, sensitive or otherwise, in this whole wide world, everyone has their own opinion and they are entitled to it. Of course, that does not mean you are judge and jury. You just have an opinion, period. And as such - so do I.

I read some of the "hate-mails" with much jest. Some of their remarks were honestly, quite funny. Yea, sure, they had their own opinion but as I said - so do I. It is so easy to pass judgement and passionately voice how morally supreme they are (and by they - I meant those who had written their letters to the editor).

There was one who said, and I quote, "Their children will learn of their values and expose their bodies, too. Don't blame them should they pose for Playboy." OMG. Are you insinuating that my parents did a very bad job raising me? That was uncalled for and way below the belt. You don't even know me, nor my parents! Hang on, hang on. Does it also mean that by choosing to do wedding nudes, my husband and I will eventually decide to do a career make-over and go into modeling for porn magazine instead? Gee, I wonder how much our buttocks would actually fetch!

And then, she continued with : "And how can husbands allow the bodies of their wives to be seen in the nude by other men, even if it's the photographer? If this is the case, the wife must allow her husband to view other women's bodies, too. They shouldn't get jealous if their husbands lust after another woman's body." First of all, you don't know me, you don't know my husband, and you certainly don't seem to be acquainted with the photographer either. Just as a piece of information - Yeh Poh Chung's assistant in the same room with us was his wife. And here's another piece of information - my husband is welcomed to drool over another woman's body. How we lead our lives and what sort of understanding we have as a couple in a relationship has nothing to do with anyone else. But that's my opinion. You're welcomed to condemn me. But again - you don't know me. Just as I don't know you - from the way you said it - it sounded as though you had never ever seen another naked body, not even on screen. But see - that is me, passing judgement.

Another guy wrote to say this : "If such exhibitionism is allowed to flourish, then what's to stop married couples from making blue films and disseminating them to the public?" This got me laughing. Like, honestly laughing. I can so picture hubby now burning copies of DVDs for sale in the black market just so we can earn additional income to sustain our Woodstock lifestyle. Is this guy for real or what? This is the same as saying that a girl got raped because she was wearing a mini-skirt! Oh, I will not stand for that, I tell you. I was NEVER brought up to stand for these types of nonsense - by my parents and my family alike. I am of the opinion that you respect each other's bodies, whether they are naked or fully-clothed. Period. You can have your fantasies, but it stays there. That is called respect. Can we be a bit real for a moment? People fantasize, don't they? Unless they're not normal.

This guy went as far as to bring religion into the picture. OMG. I think we have enough religion and race-play in the political arena as it is. And then he said (or could've been a "she", how should I know?) - "Don't adulterate morality in the name of art." With all due respect, Sir - nudity as an art form is far from what is immoral in today's society.

Immoral are the rich who steal from the poor. Immoral are those who preach to others to do moral things, but abuse underaged children behind closed-doors. Immoral are those who push drugs on the street. Immoral are those who condone to child-trafficking. Immoral are those who fight to legalize child-marriage. Immoral are those who are corrupted through and through in broad daylight. Immoral are those who take another human life. Immoral are those who scream for high morality when in fact, they do little, if at all anything, to help society in better ways. But then again, hey, I don't know these people and what compelled them to do the immoral stuff they do. I am not judge or jury. Only the powers up there will do so.

Last I checked - no animal was harmed in the course of our nude photo session. No human blood was shed in the course of our nude photo session. No drugs or alcohol was consumed in the course of our nude photo session. No child was harmed in the course of our nude photo session. So best you put your "moral preachings" into better avenues.

I stand by the fact that my husband and I have no regrets taking this plunge and doing what WE BOTH felt was meaningful for OUR relationship (nothing to do with anyone else). I stand by the fact that there will always be those who would like it and there will be those who would hate it. But if you do not know me, your judgemental statements  are a truer laughing stock than my nude collection.

And lastly, I stand by my photographer, Yeh Poh Chung. I trust him 100%. Because I know him. You don't.

One Hit Wonder



Collateral Damage by Silverfish
where Chewing Gum Boy was first
published

 I have definitely rolled into 2011 with lots of positivity for me and with that, came a bagful of positive and exciting news. Eating, Praying & Loving is working its magic and I'm constantly doing the jiggy. Refreshing indeed to be focused on "glass-damn-full" *grin*

One of the jiggy-worthy news I received was a fan-mail from a reader who read Chewing Gum Boy (for those who haven't read it - do and I welcome any critique.... ) In it, she told me of how she had enjoyed the story and also shared that UNISEL Shah Alam had picked this short story of mine for the Malaysian Literature subject for one of the bachelor degree courses. Wow.

Last year, I received a mail from Cambridge International Examinations wanting to use an excerpt from Chewing Gum Boy for one of their literature examinations. And I received also another fan mail for Chewing Gum Boy, with comments of "I like the story very much... It is interesting and a very touching story..." Wow again.

As such, I am proud of this short story of mine. And then I realized - OMG, like Dexy's Midnight Runners, I am a one-hit wonder! None of my other short stories, whilst published have garnered this much "fame". And plenty other short stories that haven't been published or selected for publication.

Truth is - Chewing Gum Boy touched on a subject matter that was very dear to my heart. I was both curious and familiar with the lives and plight of street kids in Vietnam while I was living there. The part in my story where the protagonist went under the bridge and came face-to-face with the street kids - that was me in real-life. That was me, trying to get them to go to school, go to an orphanage, do something with their lives. And that was me, trying to get them to tell me their story too.

Unlike my other short stories, I actually spent 4 months crafting this piece. Story ideas are always swimming about in my head. As such, churning a story out is no problem. I can write a short story in less than 2 hours. It is the crafting of the story that takes up a lot of time and patience. Well, back then, every free time I had, I would look at the story, again and again and again until I could memorize the story word-for-word (I should, shouldn't I? I wrote it! :P). I visualized each sentence, each paragraph, each section. Basically, I wanted to tell a story and I wanted to tell the world of their plight.

I haven't spent this much time crafting another story after Chewing Gum Boy. I was still under employment then and as such, had slightly more time to look into my hobbies. But since I started my own businesses, crafting stories seem to be the least of my priorities. No wonder I've been a one-hit wonder!

There's another story, dear to my heart, that is waiting for me to craft. And I am extremely thankful to Sharon Bakar, my editor, for sitting down with me on this piece and going through it para-by-para (shamefully, 6 months ago) so as I know what I need to focus on when I start crafting. I am also extremely thankful to Sharon for NOT condemning me as a "fluke" writer. I know she is a big fan of Chewing Gum Boy as found here and here and also a small fan of mine (perasan-nya!) as found here :)  With an editor who is hell-bent on seeing me produce another brilliant story, then I am hell-bent on crafting one!

Now, to clear some time on my schedule and go chase Maxime Richer for the screenplay of Chewing Gum Boy..... :)
___________________________________________

Other mentions of Chewing Gum Boy are found here and here.

Messages At Midnight: 2011 : Eating, Praying & Loving

Messages At Midnight: 2011 : Eating, Praying & Loving

2011 : Eating, Praying & Loving

What d'ya know? 2010 is drawing to a close. The year had been a mixed bag for me. In fact, I think 10 out of the 12 months were rather down in the dumps, right from the first day itself (waking up with a hangover - not a good way to start the new year!).

The year was good, with me shaping up and getting back to my race-fit physique and I eventually went for my first tri after a 3-yr hiatus in Hoi An, Vietnam. I did not bad, considering. It wasn't my personal best time, but that only means I can keep improving (fingers crossed!). The year was good too with a really awesome trip to Bali - for Leticia & Tjun Hong's wedding as well as my own little honeymoon with MOH, venturing back into the realms of wedding bliss at Kayumanis Nusa Dua and retracing our entire wedding journey a year ago :)

Other than that, I've taken a huge beating this year - got screwed over by a partner, got sandwiched by yet other partners (and I don't mean in bed - which would've been welcomed), got screwed over too - by a friend because he sold his integrity to the devil, saddened because there are now some people's faces in my wedding album which I wish to delete, got robbed, got indoor waterfalls going on in the apartment here in PP, ....... the list could go on. Basically - nothing was going 'smooth' and mentally and emotionally, I was deflated. I was angry and frustrated. In the face of the adversities, I had to put up a strong front to face the world. I had to continue motivating others to carry on, to be 'zen-like' for others who needed my emotional support or mental support or whatever support. Most people who had to deal with me may not know I am on the verge of a mental & emotional collapse - except perhaps thinking (and bitching about :P) that I was perpetually having my PMS daily. This led to more anger, more frustration and it was such a continuous vicious cycle! Everything was a big "WTF?!" and going through this continually almost without a break for the year wasn't my idea of a "good year". With the state of mental and emotional health I had, I thought going for the Bali honeymoon and coming back to reality was going to be the end of me!

It got to a point where I was actually seeking divine intervention and I asked Ah Por to pray for me. I asked my Mom to pray for me. I even asked Aunty Debra to pray for me. Things were still bleak and it was just a matter of getting my work done for the day and calling it a day. It got to a point where my head did me in and I wanted to run away. Particularly after watching "Eat, Pray, Love" - the movie. One day, in my frustration, I asked my Mom to 'up the ante' with the prayers for me. She said this to me in return, "Why don't you start praying yourself? Asking people to pray for you - that is insincere." Hmmm.... I had lost faith in prayers the day my Kung Kung passed away. I do pray during festive occasions - but that is more to keep to rituals and traditions which my Ah Por pratices. I didn't particularly want to start praying because I thought it would confirm how despairing my situation was. But I did think long and hard about what my Mom said - especially the sincerity part.

And so, I started praying. I prayed the best way I knew how - I wrote. It was my own conversation with the 'powers that be'. When I did pray for the first time, I felt compelled to start off with an apology. You know, for not having done this in a long time. And I felt compelled to be 'polite' and thanked the 'powers that be' for my life. This was a shocker. Having a "conversation" with, you know, the 'powers that be' out there can be quite a humbling experience. Why? Because it made me realize that - as I complained and complained about things not going my way, I had forgotten about ALL the things that WERE going my way. Because I had felt compelled to be polite and give my thanks in my 1st prayers, I've come to realize - Oh my f***ing God. I have been a bloody lucky bitch after all! Suddenly, what I was complaining about didn't make much sense! I can't believe how calm I felt for the rest of the day actually. It's been exactly 30 days now and I haven't missed a single day :)

Around the same time when I started praying, I started reading this book Kris lent me - it's called "The Secret". Now, I got the book way back in October and brought it back with me to PP but just couldn't be bothered reading it, thinking I'll just return it unread to Kris in my next trip back. One night, I opened my bookshelf with the intention of choosing a book to read and guess what? That book, with its hard cover and all fell out just like that! Well, it fell on top of my toe and it was effin' painful! Instead of hurling the book out of the balcony (because it wasn't my book!), I just said "Fine. I'll read this then!"

I have to say, reading the book couldn't have come at more apt a timing (talk about the book looking for me yes? Falling onto my toe like that!). The realizations of the concepts of the "law of attraction" was greatly in tune with what I had been going through the last year. The vicious cycle of things just going bad to worse and worst, nothing going smoothly, etc..... was too much of a spot-on for me. I understand the basic underlying concept of the law of attraction - positive-thinking and a positive attitude! I've been so engrossed with the bad things going on in my life that everything was depressing and I couldn't see things any other way! I've lost some of myself in the whole year! I've always been a "glass-half-full" person. In the last 10 months or so, I had been "glass-f***ing-empty" instead. And you know what? All it took was to change my "frequency". Tune myself into the positive channel - as in for real. None of those "trying to be strong / trying to motivate others" type of "false positive". The prayers had calmed me and made me find some peace. Reading this book had slapped me into coming out of my blady empty glass.

And before I knew it - things ARE going smoothly. Just because TSO cannot make it to the February fair, does not mean "glass empty"! It meant that I had an opportunity to get in touch with other people. Like CO for example, who might be joining us instead. I cannot explain to you how amazing it had felt for me, in the last few weeks. I'm no longer looking at a door closing as someone slamming the door in my face. I'm looking at it as another door opening in its place. Even if not a door, a window. I can still climb through that  - I'm agile :)

"Eat, Pray, Love" found a new meaning in my life. It is not about running away. Sheesh.
 So for 2011, I will continue Eating, Praying and Loving.

I will continue "Eating" - fueling my body for the next race in Bali (which JFT is sponsoring!) with healthy food AND my favourite junk food on my 'bad eat days', feeding my brains with positive thoughts and ideas and execution plans as well as exit strategies, enriching my soul with kindness and compassion. I think I am still very much a work-in-progress and can definitely do better by being more patient, less anal (although, as Kris Wong says - these actually work for us, not against us in the line of duty - and emails should still be replied within 48hrs :P). Don't get me wrong - I'm not turning into an angel overnight :P I am still allowed to be a bitch when I want to and when I need to - don't screw with me, I'll bark and I'll bite but I'll take the high-road and walk away because you are obviously not on the same frequency as I am.... and I will still be cursing at the moron on the road who is endangering my life :P Not to mention, I AM still going to have my PMS-days :P

I will continue "Praying" - praying for my family and loved ones, praying for my friends and praying for world peace. I am hopeful one day, the world WILL be at peace with no war, hunger and poverty. Also giving thanks - I will never, ever again forget to give thanks for my life. Even just as simple as being alive with a near-perfect body (not perfect because nobody is) - I can see and read, listen and hear, think and feel. The one thing I am truly, truly grateful for is the love that I am enveloped in so deeply - from my family, my husband, my friends (to KM and MK, I'm so glad to know that if I ever, ever were to really run away, you have both offered me your abode as my refuge). Life's a bitch sometimes, but love keeps you going.

And finally, I will continue "Loving" - loving the life that I choose to live, loving myself, loving my family to bits, loving my husband till no end - and continue striving to be a good wife (however, the sofa will still be comfy for him if he annoys me) and doing so lovingly, from my heart and not as a chore - although I honestly dislike the household chores (if I be less anal, maybe someone else can do it!! :P) and will strive not to burn the ironing board or re-colour the laundry again :P (Some may say - hahaha! Finally, this day has dawned upon Eileen Lui - especially my Mom) I will continue loving the kids at the orphanage which I have come to adore so dearly - they are in my prayers too.

To this end, despite 2010 being a year I rate at the bottom-most rank of my 'had-this-been-a-good-year-chart', I am happy and thankful that I am ending the year with so much love surrounding me. Life is good. I will indulge ever so often in that.

And you betcha ass - 2011 will be an absolute blast. Believe me ;) So have a swell one and HAPPY NEW YEAR to all!

"All That We Are Is A Result Of What We Have Thought" - Buddha

In-Laws & 'Out-Laws' :)

My parents and us at Khmer Surin for dinner

 Over the last 3 weeks, we had been slightly thrown off our usual weekend routine here in the Penh with both our parents taking turns to visit. We were both excited and happy that they were coming in to stay simply because we lived away from home and it was nice to have them around for a bit.

My in-laws were here only for a few days. I was of course a little bit anxious as I was welcoming them into my home for the first time and there was a little bit of pressure on me to strive to be a 'star' daughter-in-law.

Now, I am actually very anal about the cleanliness of my living space. We got rid of the maid because I just couldn't be bothered paying her and then doing her job all over again. So, I might as well just do it myself. Of course, MOH helps - as per his wedding vows (although, I did think when he vowed to do the household chores, it meant that I wouldn't need to lift a finger!) - but then again, as I said, I am pretty anal. Anyway, in anticipation of both parents' arrival, I cleaned and cleaned some more. Not that it wasn't clean before, but just getting rid of the cobwebs and stuff like that.  

And finally, my in-laws arrived. I did really want them to enjoy their visit - their first in Cambodia. We had planned a big trip to Siem Reap for them to see Angkor Wat but unfortunately, a couple of weeks before the trip, my mother-in-law had a big fall and thus, climbing the Angkor Wat was out of the question. As such, I revised the itinerary and packed it with activities for Phnom Penh instead. And in Phnom Penh, there is generally nothing much to do except to eat :) My in-laws were not very adventurous folks and most of the time, they stayed in the apartment watching TV, unless we took them out. I think overall, they had quite an experience in Cambodia - with the food, with the sights and with the living conditions. They couldn't believe how people could live on the streets and of course, the dirt, dust and grime of the city got to them a bit too. But they did enjoy their meals :) Over and above that, it gave me a chance to bond with them as well. Eversince I got married, I haven't lived in MOH's home, I haven't been in KL for that matter and most trips back to KL were so short and packed with activities, there was hardly any time to bond.

After my in-laws left, I cleaned and cleaned again, awaiting the arrival of my parents. I think my "anal-ness" with the cleanliness of my living space is an "illness" i got from my Mom. I don't know how she does it, but she kept our home in KL spotless - on a daily basis (eversince I can remember as a kid, our feet remained clean walking throughout the house so much so that this has become very important to me!!) I try, but maybe Phnom Penh is just dusty!! No matter how much I sweep and mop the damn floor, my feet seems to get dirty if I don't wear the house-slippers! Now that I don't have a maid, I can't blame the maid if the apartment wasn't "up to cleanliness standard" :P My Mom can be very particular about, you know, clean stuff :) Well - I don't know if she was being nice or polite, but she didn't complain a single bit. So, I hope it was because I did keep a clean house :)

"Entertaining" my in-laws were generally very much different from "entertaining" my parents. Don't get me wrong. They were not difficult guests. It has more to do with the fact that I didn't know my in-laws that well. And vice-versa. Whereas with my parents, they are after all my parents and we know each other pretty well. As Mom would say in Chinese, directly translated : "When you lift up your tail, I would know whether you want to pee or you want to shit."

Well, with my in-laws, I couldn't really sit on the sofa and lift my legs on the coffee table! What would they think? This siao char bor so rude! But with my parents, I could. Mom would dagger-stare me but Dad does it too, so it was perfectly fine. If not, it would just be so much more fun for Dad and I to annoy Mom! Hahahahha! And then, one morning, I came back from my morning run and to my horror, I saw my mother-in-law mopping the floor. I was so horrified that I rushed into the room and woke MOH up. I certainly didn't want my mother-in-law cleaning my apartment! MOH merely grunted in his sleep and said to leave her be. OMG. Whereas, when my Mom was here, she swept and mopped almost all the time. And I did leave her be. She probably couldn't stand that the floor felt "dusty" and she wouldn't be able to sit still if she didn't clean something. She even ironed MOH's boxer shorts!! (Ok, admittedly, I do suck at the ironing bit - and I definitely do not iron undergarments!!) And as per my itinerary (yes, I even planned this) - Mom cooked up a storm in my tiny kitchen. And she made enough to last the whole week so that I could still taste home-cooked food when she left (as of right now, finishing the last of the Low Gee Yuk...). And talk about "princess treatment" - when I snacked, she would bring me a plate so that the crumbs do not fall everywhere and as soon as I finish, she would take the plate away for washing - I did not have to get out of my chair one bit. Hahahaha! It had been too, too long since I had this treatment. Dad, of course, always had his "King's treatment" from Mom all the time. Now, would I allow my mother-in-law to do that for me? Hell, no! Again - what would she think?? "Siao Char Bor thinks she is the Queen??" OMG. (*point to note : it's not that my mother-in-law calls me siao char bor. At least not to my face :P)

Whilst my in-laws needed a little more 'baby-sitting' in terms of to-do activities, my parents could be left to their own devices. Especially my Dad. Like me, he just cannot sit still and when my itinerary calls for "Rest & Relax In Apartment" - he would be in the apartment sighing "So boring! So boring!". My parents would venture out on their own and walked around (to my Dad's delight, there was a market down the block from where I lived - he loves markets and so do I), take photos, etc. During their 10-day stay in Cambodia, they even ventured over to Saigon and stayed an additional day in Saigon (mentioning something about there being "too many rules in the apartment" :P) and had a great time there - as per the photo evidences.

It's been great having them around and I definitely hope they had a ball of a time here (and my itineraries for both sets of parents were well-thought and well-planned). Of course, it did test my patience at some point. Like I said - I am very anal. I have a "Monk-ish" side to me. I don't like my things being re-arranged. If the tissue box is placed on the top right corner of the coffee table, it needs to be right there. If it was moved slightly away from its spot, it gives me a ticking :P Yes, yes, I am OCD. My refrigerator is organized meticulously too. Dairy drinks, soft drinks, juices, water, dairy products, sauces, etc... are all 'compartmentalized' and again - if sometimes a product is moved, I will KNOW and I will start 'ticking'. MOH has suffered through some of my 'ticking' :P (he's smarter now - after grocery shopping, he lets ME put the stuff away). With my guests - I just had to try very hard to close an eye. It doesn't help that my Dad threatened to re-arrange EVERYTHING before he leaves to help "cure my disease" :P I couldn't sleep thinking he wasn't joking! Can you just imagine how 'crazy' I would get if he did that?? Again, I believe this is something I inherited from my Mom. She may not admit it - but she doesn't like people re-organizing her stuff either! She definitely doesn't like people messing up her kitchen - and that is why I have never cooked at home (to the point that my family finds it so hard to believe that I Can Cook!).

Anyway, in-laws are back home safe and sound and my parents are back home safe and sound and you know what? The apartment seems to be bigger, emptier and lonelier now. I miss them very much. I wish they could visit every weekend!

And so, I now look forward to the Chinese New Year where I will see my family again. Counting down begins!



Mother & Father-In-Law with MOH at the park right in front of our apartment block