Life in Myanmar : 2 Years On.....

Sunset at Inle Lake... I so LURVE

Hello! I've just dusted out the cobwebs from my blog. OMG.

So right, I've gone through 2 cold seasons, 3 heatwaves and 3 monsoons. Well, actually, the monsoon has just only started - and that marks the start of my annual arch nemesis - Mr. MOLD. Well, I'm more equipped to battle the mold this year - we switched to steel cabinets for our wardrobe. Yeah, yeah.. it's the office type cabinets, not exactly my dream wardrobe but anything to keep the mold at bay! And I think it's time to bring out the vacuum seals and my 'spaceship' thingamajig as well - for the drying of clothes, you see.

Well, whaddaya know. It's been 2 years since I've first moved to the Golden Land..... A lot has happened in the 2 years - we're talking work, we're talking the kids I work with, we're talking apartment-hunting nightmares... and finally - after 2 years, I got to see a bit more of Myanmar and fell in love with Inle and the Inthar people. MOH? He's been busy being Da Tiger at work, at home and with the kids :P

Sure, some of the bright-eyed novelty of this place has faded. Myanmar has its moments - the unbelievable growth rate of the horrendous traffic, the water-pumping system in each house, the power-cuts (yes!! still happening, but THANK GOD and touch wood, at the current apartment, it's not so bad), the feeble optics and the growing greed of the people. I suppose, that's what commercialization / internationalization of a country does to some. I mean, it used to be community-driven society and then now, it's slowly moving towards "to each, its own".... Sad. But every so often, Mr. B sends me a reminder that compassion and humanity is not lost despite. I am still lucky enough to see amazing kindness happening right here. Just the other day, I saw a young garbage collector with K-Pop hairstyle running across the road just to give some money to an old beggar woman. Wow, right? And I am reminded to live by love and compassion as much as I can (and I have to remember compassion and pity are 2 different things!) 

Work... OMG. Work. Whilst the bloopers still happen - work has grown increasingly frustrating for me. I find the biggest problem is changing mindsets. And that is only the mindset of 1 person. I feel that if this one person changes her mindset, the team can really move far ahead. So what happens when there's an inexperienced and risk-averse leading the team? You get status quo that remains unchallenged and ideas that are regurgitated year-in-year-out. Everytime I present a new idea, I hear the same thing "I'm afraid....." or "I'm worried...." either that, or total ignorance of my proposal. In all honesty, there is not a shred of maliciousness in this said person. I know that. But she doesn't know how to lead a team and everyone "cannot do something" according to her. Plus, she only wants to hire candidates with MBA background so the team's still understaffed! I want to help her and I've been doing staff-training, I've put new SOPs in place, I've reached out via emails, sat down with her at lunch... but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. And what's more - DBW is hell-bent on expanding and she's running ahead so fast, I think it'll be a matter of time before the soldiers all fall down trying to keep up. It has come to a point where that said person tries to keep me busy by giving me "English-editing" work to do. I should be so happy with the 'goyang-kaki-dapat-gaji' situation, but it insults my intelligence and my sense of responsibility, so much so, I butt my head in every opportunity I get just so I am abreast of things and I'm doing my fair share to earn my keeps. The last couple of weeks, I've really thought about quitting. I know someone with my expertise and qualifications would have no problem getting another similar job here, but DBW had been awfully nice to me and I also teach the kids not to give up so easily, so I'm wrecking my brains trying to look at how else I can make this work with that said person........ But then again, I think I am at a stage of my career where I do have the choice of working for happiness. Hmmm..... #bangheadonwall 

Now, speaking about the children, looking back, I cannot believe I am THIS involved with them. What started out as just weekend volunteering has turned into a full-time responsibility! Again, might I add - I couldn't have done it without the support of many - all of you know who you are and from the bottom of my heart, Thank You for your believe in me and the kids. You know, it took me a whole year to earn the kids' trust. And who can blame them? So many people have promised them things and not show up. Life had not been fair to them - and again, I have to keep reminding myself when I am with them that life is never fair. Suck it up, man! (Uh-huh..... ok, ok. MOH plays the bad cop. I'm the good one. Haha.) 

Well, things with the kids had been tough. Do you know how it really feels for me? It feels like I am climbing a very high mountain and all the kids are tied to me via a rope and I'm pulling them along. I am so waiting for the day when they will all snap out of the rope and climb the mountain themselves! There's been several problems with the kids and caretakers and I can't believe my arse-luck - 3 out of 3 homes that I support have the same stupid caretaker problems! And then someone (my idol) pointed out that if I supported 10 homes, it'd be 10 out of 10. It's just the way things are! But should that stop me from helping the kids? No, of course not. The monk at the monastery is not allowing the kids to come out to the Youth Centre and so when the monastery boys do come, they have to lie and say to the monk "we're visiting pagoda." *gasp!!* Whilst I do tell them off for lying as we're trying to teach them the right thing, deep inside me, I feel very sorry. Why should they have to lie to come out to learn? To come to see their brothers and sisters? To come to help clean or do some part-time work for the soya milk business? I feel angry and sad. I do. But the only thing I can tell them is for them not to lie to the monk because it is bad, and that if they cannot come, I understand.

The latest problem involved one of the caretakers holding the kids' student documents as ransom. Even if he was the one sending them away (back to their warring and drug-infested villages in upper Myanmar), he demands money in exchange for getting back the student documents - with which without, the kids cannot go to school! When I found out about this - I was hopping mad!! It is outrageous! If little Malala knows how important education is as a tool to change lives, what the f^%$^ is this arse-hole doing? This is the one time, I'm going to risk everything and look at a way to stop this man. Because if I continue looking the other way, the many more kids that come through his home will be affected too. Poor families who trusted him have had to beg, borrow and steal to put money together to pay for the 'ransom'. To me, this is so wrong and someone pointed out that this is akin to HUMAN TRAFFICKING! So true! Holding anyone's personal documents as ransom to keep them in place is similar to human trafficking! He needs to be stopped!

And I did try to write to the NGO I know who is raising funds to build a house for this particular crazy man's Home. NO RESPONSE. I think the NGO is ball-less at best or they don't know how to answer to their donors about the funds being raised for such a home? I dunno and I don't care to know. And here's the reason why I would slap the shit out of the next person who tells me I should set up an NGO so that the funds coming through can be better managed and audited. Last I checked, I wasn't staying in a USD7k per month apartment (in fact, my apartment is right next to the largest garbage dumpsite in this township and the quarter master told me "you pay peanuts, you get this kind of conditions."), I don't get a salary, not even petrol or taxi claims, and I certainly don't get hardship posting allowances. So up yours if you think I'm using donors' money to subsidize my lifestyle. I mean, let me clarify - firstly, I agree, not all NGOs are crap. Some are really doing good work. Secondly, I myself would like to have a proper accountant do the tracking of money and would like NOT to have to deal with money coming through. But clone me, if so. And let it be known - I hate numbers!!

The next up yours would go to those who have remarked on my tattoos, MOH's tattoos and Ti Lone's tattoos and our smoking and whether or not we are setting good examples for the kids.....  You find me another person who is as passionate and as dedicated with the kids, I'll gladly replace myself....! We don't smoke in front of the kids, period. Though, we had been upfront with them about it so that they know this as a bad habit. (yes, yes, note-to-self too). Preferable, whoever you find should also truly love the kids and know all their names by heart and only have the well-being and future of the kids as utmost importance. Occasionally, show them the world by taking them for trips and movies and food would be a plus-point (and just so we're clear, donors' money don't go here, unless specific people request to share the cost with us - and they have and I have to say THANK YOU again for your kindness).

I may not have a receipt for the money that had been given to me, but here's what's been happening with the kids - the results of their final school exams, up to Grade 10 were out earlier this month and the kids from all 2 homes have registered 100% passes, the monastery boys had 4 boys who failed but the rest all got through..... now, I'm just only keeping my fingers crossed for the Grade 11 (much like our SPM in Malaysia) kids who will get their results in June and I hope, really hope they all get to go to uni this year. For the older monastery boys, we've managed to get job placements for them as well and they're doing quite well at work. Pat on the back for them for not wasting the opportunity.

Aside from that, we've started a Youth Centre - earlier this year in January and the kids love having a place like this - not so much that they can learn because classes are still "iffy" at the moment except for English and Art...... there's plans to put in a computer and apps development class in June and a fruit-carving and crafts class too. You know, in their respective homes, they cannot talk so "freely". So when they get to the Centre and see their friends, OMG - non-stop talking!! #SoNoisy!

What's more - we've finally launched a proper self-sustainability programme by way of soy milk and tofu production - SoyAi. The start was really rather tough for the SoyAi team, and needless to say, myself  (think that mountain, now make it 5 times bigger in your head!!). I am someone who has no idea about soy milk and tofu except to eat and drink them. Now, I have to teach kids with zero background and experience how to do this business. Oyyyyy..... what was I thinking???? I keep telling Ti Lone - next time I want to save the world, please just knock me on the head! But I gritted my teeth, I held on, I climbed, I towed the kids along, I encouraged them, I cried with them, I taught them..........  mind you - there wasn't a single day where I didn't want to hang myself, but I always had to remind myself of the kids' background and their Home/Monastery military-style upbringing. As positive as it all sounded on the FB page, I think the only person who knew how difficult it was for me was Ti Lone. He saw and experienced it himself, the difficulties and there were many a moment where the only thing we could do was to laugh privately about the frustrations (in this, I want to say a special Thank You to my Burmese brother, Ti Lone, for keeping me sane during the tough times with the kids)....

Anyway, after 2 months of pain, we finally launched. We lost a team member (he gave up, it was a big disappointment for me, but we all have to move on) and found a new one, and we launched with a #SoyAi "Feed Myanmar" Programme at that - to continue on with the "love" message behind the brand SoyAi. There's still an uphill battle but the kids are learning, slowly, but they're getting there and I'm trying to expose them to as much as possible. Actually, one of my wish list is to be able to send the SoyAi team at least for a ... no nicer way to put this : psych-evaluation. Hmmm....

This whole self-sustainability thing comes down to only one single reason - and that is the children understand what it means to be useful and to stand on their own two feet and not to rely on donations. To teach them this concept was no easy feat. But MOH and I did it. And these days, when kind neighbours come around with cash donations, the kids - on their own accord tell the neighbours "Aunty, we thank you for your kindness. We will not take cash donation because we are really trying to learn to stand on our own two feet. If you have old books or furnitures, we can take. But not cash." And these are kids, who really need the money. Recently, a Malaysian friend came round to the Centre for a visit. Before they left, they wanted to hand cash over to the kids as a donation. I said "You can try..... go ahead." It didn't work, of course. And friend said to me "Wow, you really teach them until like that ah??" ..... I believe I can teach all I want, but if they themselves don't want it, it'll not work anyway. Right? A donor also bought a bottle of soy milk with USD100. The SoyAi team put it towards our Feed Myanmar Programme. You know, sometimes, I know the two boys don't have much food because their salary at the moment from the SoyAi business is miserable - and I want to buy food for them. I want there to be food in their house like how I always, always have food in my house. But they tell me, "Ma Eileen, don't keep buying food for us. We will learn by ourselves." I am so proud of them. Very, very proud. Wait till I tell them I'm going back to KL in June to raise funds for them. I can picture the confusion on their faces already! *grin*

And then there's the whole joy-from-giving attitude they have. Via the SoyAi "Feed Myanmar Programme", people buy the soy milk to be donated out to other orphanages. The team just love seeing other kids with similar background to them getting some dose of "love". And they would chat excitedly about "how happy they were when they got the soy milk!"

I had never seen kids with so much determination to change their lives. The only thing they lack is the "how" and then there's all that bad 'military-style' upbringing habit to break... MOH and I don't have our own kids so we vehemently vowed to do our best and to do right by these kids. We will guide them and MOH can continue being the bad cop (and it's so annoying that he comes in once in a while and in a swell swoop becomes a hero because he brings snacks or he brings them out for movies and lunch!! :P) And education is important. It is the ticket out of their current lives. Funny, when I was a kid, I was never punished by having education taken away from me. If at all, I was punished for not doing well in my education. So, I believe every child has a right to education and I will shoot people who stand in the way of that :P

Meanwhile, I need to say again, my gratitude to those who have been following the kids' stories, to those who share their concerns and love and support for the kids and now for the SoyAi team, to those who have included the kids in their prayers and most of all, to those who cheer for and believe in the kids. Your cheer and support helps keep them going so please, I shall continue relying on your support and prayers for them. Send them a message or a cheer on the children's FB pages. They have access to the page and to the internet! Might I add in a word of gratitude for friends who would be ready to hire the most fantastic social activist lawyer if I do "get in trouble" for the work I do (like confronting the crazy man)..... like people who were willing to spare some time to meet the kids to help build their confidence, speak to them, motivate them, encourage them, like people who would fly a thousand miles to do workshops for them, like people who organized a whole biking-fund-raising thing to raise money for the children.... basically, in anything we do, we have the naysayers and the believers. I THANK you all for believing. And to YOU who would hire the best social activist lawyer, I'm braver because of your promise *ultraman gesture*

And to Myanmar - whilst the "oooh-that's-so-amazing" novelty had kinda faded, I don't intend to be a jaded old hag in this country. I still laugh at the ridiculous situation of being naked with shampoo in my hair and the power-cuts.. what are the chances? Everytime! ... and I know you are always reminding me of your beauty one way or another.

Thank you for 2 awesome years! I look forward to more!