Thanking 2012 and.... Hello 2013! (More Eating, Praying & Loving...)

Hello Mr. B !! Thank you for your blessings!

2012 has come to an end and we're all still alive and kicking, despite the Mayan predictions. The year had flown by very fast indeed. 2012 had been one helluva ride for me - with the biggest up being the move to Myanmar and the biggest down being Por Por's passing.

Having turned my glass from half empty to full, full, full since December 2010 and keeping faith despite the hardest days and times, Por Por's passing had been a big blow to my faith. But with the support and love from loved ones surrounding me, I am going through the healing process. There are certain things that I am not grasping and not understanding. And then a friend shared this on her FB wall - "The teacher will show up when the student is ready." Ahhh... so it seems I am not yet ready. I still think about Por Por all the time. Sometimes, life is also like that - and the term "take for granted" comes to mind. I miss her. I regret all the stuff I failed to do with her because I was "busy".

Moving on..... 2012's big move from Cambodia to Myanmar had obviously been a blessing. Aside from the excitement of being the pioneers in a country that has finally opened up after 50 years in seclusion, it is being able to experience first-hand the country's innocence and charms before the corruption of development comes in to ruin it all is well, a refreshing experience. Where else will you find a place where taxi drivers hunt you down to return lap tops and digital cameras left in their cabs? I think the kindness of the people here has stolen my heart somehow. Sure, Myanmar has its moments (the internet with the mood swings, the konya juice shower, the cheap trial drugs from China, the England-no-comprehend situations, the Flintstone taxis on a 40-degree afternoon, the mold season, the landlord selling the apartment and forcing us to move, the hours-long traffic jam, the spotless-crisp new USD notes requirement, the visa runs, etc..) but overall, in the last 8 months, this country has warmly welcomed both MOH and myself - with its kindness and the opportunities it offers.

Work-wise, MOH just switched jobs after being headhunted by HTC and has now joined the 'dark side'. I'm still consulting part-time for City Mart and another yet-to-be-launched brand. Whilst work has its "bang-head-on-the-wall" moments too, I've been loving everyday of it. It helps that Da Boss Woman is a reasonable person with a vision. I like that I get to learn from her too. I am also enjoying learning the ropes in the retail business - one which I've never touched before. My most exciting day was when I partaked in the 'product selection' day. You get to try them cookies and snacks and what-nots! MOH too is enjoying his new job and in actual fact, I've not seen him so motivated in the longest while. Sure, the days have been utterly busy, we were working Christmas Eve and as I write this, possibly on NY's day as well and we hardly have time for each other but we're both counting our blessings - A LOT. Again, I am reminded of this (just had to use this again, @Lynette Yee!) : "The more I give away to others - my possessions, my money, my time, myself - the more fulfilled I am and the less I lack because there is always, ALWAYS, Divine Providence. Sometimes it's just what I need, but mostly it's over and above." Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to the "powers that be".. Ok. Ok. I am still a hoarder - in more ways than one. Working on that and waiting for the "Teacher" to show up :P

Life had been good to us and especially good to us this last year and with that, we are not forgetting the people who may not have a warm blanket in the freezing winter nights. My wish to spend more time and funds on the underprivileged is realized more so this year with the love, help and support of my family and kind-hearted and generous friends. It's true that birds of a feather flock together. Or simply - it's the Law of Attraction working its magic. When I was overwhelmed by the poverty of these children who were holding on tightly to whatever little hope there was, I sent out an SOS to my friends in September 2012 for I know, I alone cannot save the world. I needed reinforcements. And reinforcements came to Yangon in different groups since October 2012. So on behalf of all the children, I say Thank You from the bottom of my heart to my friends and a special Thank You to those who have now, together with me formed part of a group called the M.A.D. Angels who are seriously hell-bent on Making A Difference to these children. Do check out our little simple website at www.madangels.net With the backing of the MAD Angels, I feel like we now have the "power" and I'm really excited about this. 2013 will be a riot with us :) (Keep an eye and a ear out for our debut Burmese-rap performance! LOL!)

On my own personal front, I know I'm still a Work-In-Progress. But I do think I'm on the happy side of the stick. I'm still learning the phrase "My Mind Is A Calm Lake" :P.... what I've been able to achieve so far is let the swearing stay in my head instead of out my mouth. On certain occasions, I've been able to turn the other cheek too. But hell, that's not my strongest point. At work is of course a totally different story. Out comes the crazy-psycho-Ramsey-biatch (so much so, even the cleaner and guards at the City Mart outlets now flash me their best smiles when they see me...!). I've also been able to let the reins go a lot more with my business in Cambodia. The boys are doing very well and I'm proud. Real proud of them. When the MTV Exit team spoke the world of them without knowing I was part of Mango Rain, I knew I was beaming with pride at said moment. :) On my fitness, some of the injuries that come with wear-and-tear (and God forbid - age!!) is getting the better of me, I know. I haven't raced at all in the whole of 2012 and I miss it. But generally, I know my endurance and stamina is hell of a lot better than most, even those who.. err... do not have a "bad habit." :P so I'm all up for a race this year! I've recently taken up Burmese martial arts called Lethwei which is something like Boxing mixed with Muay Thai and I'm training with the ex-national champion. I'm having a lot of fun, and I wonder if I'll ever compete. Ok, I just ROFL-ed after I wrote that. All in, I'm very, very thankful and grateful for a life that has treated me very well. I am blessed with good health and able-bodied to train as much as I like - even if just for fun. I am blessed with a brilliant mind that is continuously learning. I am blessed with the gentle reminders and signs from "the powers that be" to always run my life with compassion. Most of all, I am blessed with so much love surrounding me always and I am blessed with the freedom to do whatever I like. I'm working on making sure that freedom is being put to good use.

Oh - I am also always blessed with food on my table. Not just my table - my fridge and my pantry too! Funny this - when the movers came to help us move, they made a few very keen observation - I have more food than I have of other belongings and that MOH has more clothes and shoes than I. I guess, I just love eating. Clothes - I don't care too much for :) And I if I can eat, so too can others.

Talking about eating, I'm still learning to deal with the guilt of indulging myself and then thinking about some of the kids who got ONE egg each as a Christmas present - and that was such a big deal. Earlier in the year, while I was with the kids in Cambodia, I read this : "In our wish to help, more often than not, we react emotionally and end up getting carried away by our feelings. At times, we emphatize so completely with what someone is going through that we subject ourselves to the same distress (OMG. So true). So instead of one person suffering, now there are 2 miserable persons. Instead of reacting emotionally, we need to learn to temper our compassion with wisdom. Then we will know better how to help others." This was like the 'excuse' I needed to reward myself ever so often with my favourite foods or book or whatever it is that makes me tick :P It's still rather hard though, not to feel guilty when I eat 3 eggs or buy new clothes or have a 5-star dinner. And I have forbade myself to buy anymore slippers (since I do have stock all the way till 2030 CNY!). I think the lesson here is to share the great abundances that I have in my life. Whichever and whatever ways that I can. This is like a classic example of the more I give, the more I receive. (refer "divine providence" paragraph above. Haha!)

With the New Year, there's all that positivity in the air as people embark on a fresh page to their lives and wait for whatever 2013 unfolds for them. From that, people make New Year's resolutions too. I have some to make as well.

I have been praying for 731 days now and I shall continue doing so - if at all, just for guidance, for strength,for wisdom and for unwavering faith (and the occasional miracles - I just have to believe it). I shall surround myself with positive people and offer those who need some with my positivity. I shall continue eating and feeding others. I shall continue loving with all of my heart and my soul and make compassion the number one rule in my life (except when it comes to household chores :P - and MOH and I have both finally relented and gotten ourselves a part-time cleaner! After all, it's part of his work package...! But I do like the part-time cleaner and I pray she is realy 37 yrs old like she said she is, and not 16!!! I would kill myself if she was lying!!). I shall spend more time with my family when I make home trips and I know my true friends and trusted business partners would understand this not because I've displaced the importance of my businesses but because I've set other priorities in my life. Most importantly, in all that I do, however big or small, I shall endeavour to Make A Difference that is for the better and make sure I continue having the right reasons to do what I do. And so, I shall continue working on my WIP status. I also intend to make a trip to Namibia this year for a month-long voluntary work. I'm gonna start saving now :) 

With that, here's an Italian "Cin-Cin" to a super-awesome 2013 for all!
You have to Believe It to See It.

p/s : To some of my FB friends who have made the effort to play the snail-mail game with me - I will pledge USD10 to the children for every snail mail I receive. :)

pp/s : I cannot wait till CNY. I will be home with family :)