5th Year : Journeys For Two 2011 / 2012

Editor's Letter in JFT 2011 / 2012 Issue

Without realising it, Journeys For Two : Destination Weddings For The Stylish & Chic is in its 5th year. I still remember that faithful morning 5 years ago, sitting at Old Town Kopitiam in Sri Hartamas with Kris where we decided, yes, this was something we would do and see where it took us (just as long as I do not have to deal with any numbers was my only criteria. Haha!) and in a flash of a flash, it had taken us into our 5th issue.

For the last 5 issues, every year was a learning curve for us - well, I can't say I speak on behalf of the team. It was definitely a learning curve for me. How do we do better for the next issue? How can we hit more sales? How can we make the content more relevant? More interesting? What sales strategy do we deploy in closing the sales? How do we expand our reach? Etc.... Etc......  For me, every year saw me getting more and more organized and focused with the targets and working on newer angles for contents.....  but still, this is a team effort and decisions are largely based on how the team feels (err,... the team here would mean my boss - Kris Wong. Haha.) since most of the time, I come up with some brilliant idea that is just not executable :P

For me, part of the learning curve was also about putting one's ego aside while doing the editorial work. It's OK to have your articles edited by the Managing Editor :) "How come it is different from what I wrote??!" is usually my first question - but no hissy fit, please. At the end of the day, we all want the same thing - a great magazine and brand out there in the market which will continue selling itself every year...... (and thus paying for some of my holidays, and most recently, my tri race participation!). The real kudos of course, goes to the team from Weddings Malaysia that works on the magazine too!

And after a year's work to get the last issue out (and it IS out now, sold at major bookstores - woohoo!), we are starting to work on our 6th issue already and I'm keeping my fingers crossed to be able to clinch this new content deal across the borders - since already gotten the green light from Da Boss Man :) So, with some luck, we'd have yet another exciting issue serving up! Who knows where this issue will take us then, since we had been trawling exotic beaches and beautiful highlands, embracing different cultures, appreciating history and heritage and keeping up with growing trends thus far.

p/s : Despite the perception of Kris Wong being anal and whose virtue really isn't patience, it has been a breeze working with him. We just both have to answer each other's emails on time. ROFL. Here's to another GREAT issue, Kris!

(for photo credit of the above picture - go get your copy of JFT now!) 

I Am Stinky. And There Is Only ONE In The World

A Recent Photo Of Me... Notice my baju?

My date of birth is a little vague, actually. Although, in the whole family, it is generally an accepted fact that I was born somewhere in the year 1981 and I was a gift to my Mistress from her beloved Grandmama. Ever since, I have been by Mistress’ side and I AM indispensable. Woots! Her “most prized possession” – that’s what she says. A “never leave home without it” possession. Woots!


Well, for those of you who know Mistress would more or less know of my existence. For those of you who have had the honour (I say “honour” because… indeed, it is!) of living under the same roof as Mistress, you would be well acquainted with me somehow, because Mistress, she had never been embarrassed by me. Not when she was five, not when she was a teen and not when she ventured into adulthood.


The name…. Geez, I dunno. Some nincompoop coined the name for me and for some reason, Mistress thought it was cute and the name stuck. Previously, I went by the name Busuk Pao…. I guess, for more of an international feel, Stinky stuck as my new name. I don’t know who the nincompoop was to come up with that name! I am “the best smelling thing in the world” as according to Mistress. I smell “like a baby” – also according to Mistress. Now, why would you call me Stinky?? But hey, if Mistress thinks it’s cute, then so be it. Her wish is my command. But just so all of you know – I have my yearly spa session – usually during the CNY period, where Grandmama carefully opens me up and my naked insides are given a long tanning session and then I’m put together again – of course, not before feeding me more, to make me all fat and chubby so that there is more of me to love *grins*. So…, I am CLEAN and I don’t SMELL contrary to what you folks believe! :P


I had been with Mistress through her growth, from child to an angry teenager, through her trials and tribulations, through her heartbreaks and joys and I’ve known almost every tear she had shed. Not many of you can claim the same you know, so NAH! When she was living abroad alone all those years, guess who kept her company? ME, ME, ME!!! I’ve always traveled wherever she has traveled – so I think I’m one blady lucky paupau since not many paupaus get to see the world like I did and still do. By the way – to show the importance of my status as a VERY VALUABLE item when flying, I am always hand-carried. Jealous or not? :P


When Mistress went abroad to study in Australia, I traveled with her and for the first time, it was just Mistress and I – no adults, no Mama and no Papa. Rubbing hands in glee, we went for our great adventure into the journey of life. And what a journey it was! Oh, the dramas, the scandals, the.. the… well, ok, I don’t kiss-and-tell. :P Of course, it was at this time that her flatmates got pretty well-acquainted with me too. I think it was one of them who gave me my name. Idiot. They were not very kind people. Well, but of course, they were Mistress’ great friends. What can I do? I’m a helpless little paupau who is hell-bent on serving my Mistress come what may! So, I sucked it up. Why do I think these are bad, bad people? Oh, I tell you – one of my life’s darkest moments happened during my time in this flat Down Under.


One weekend, when Mistress totally forgot to pack me into her overnight bag before leaving town for the long weekend hols, I was stuck in the flat with these mean people. And what did they do? In their drug-induced drunken stupor, they kidnapped me from the safe enclosure of my bed and tied me with this UGLY, absolutely UGLY old red necktie that wasn’t even my colour to begin with and hung me from the ceiling. Oh, as if that was not torturous enough, they stuck clothes pegs all over my poor, soft, chubby body. The pain! It was indescribable! Oh, I can still remember it and I can still feel the pinchy, bitey pain of those damn pegs! But these mean, mean, bad, bad people just stood there and laughed and discussed ways to get ransom out of Mistress, took numerous photos of my tortured conditions... I swear, they were like crazy-high-on-drugs, laughing and sneering. I saw fangs and horns grow out of them! I was left hanging from that ceiling, with all these things pinching me till I was numb for days…. before Mistress finally came back to my rescue. She was not pleased, I tell you. There was some yelling, I can’t remember very well because I was in so much pain… and I was traumatized.. what was it those CSI people call it again? PSTD, that’s right. Post traumatic stress disorder..... But revenge was duly taken. Haha. Served them right! What did I ever do to them? Geez! But still, Mistress is too, too kind. She remains good friends with these bad people till today. Geez. But poor, poor Mistress. I wasn’t the only one who was traumatized by this whole thing, you know. Needless to say, when trying to make a decision on whether to bring me along anywhere now, this episode always comes back to haunt poor Mistress. 

The bad, bad people....

See right, being such an invaluable possession has led to me being a weak-link for Mistress’ life. I am always being held as a threat to get Mistress to do things she doesn’t want to do. Particularly, from Mistress’ Mama during the early years. “I will throw Busuk Pau into the garbage bin if you don’t do this,… or if you don’t do that….” And Mistress, in order to protect my existence, will meekly do as told. But still, she had her way of rebelling. What a feisty little samseng! And in recent years, it is her beloved hubby or her MOH (I cringe saying this word) who does the threatening. “I will throw Stinky out of the balcony if you don’t do this…. or if you don’t do that…” or “When you come back, you won’t find Stinky anywhere…” Lucky for me, Mistress somehow, somehow, always gets her way with him though. Phew!

I traveled to Bali numerous times with Mistress and was there when she first fell in love with… him. (No way I’m calling him Master!!) And of course, coming full circle again in Bali, I was there when she got married too. Grandmama had predicted that Mistress would get married with me in tow since we were inseparable. She was right. I was just a little disappointed that I wasn’t a part of the ceremony. Mistress’ Mama would’ve screamed murder. Really. And not just her Mama. But all her industry friends will go “OMG. Pai seh la lu…!” I beg to differ. I think I would look most handsome in a chic white satin jacket, carrying the couple’s beautiful wedding bands. But alas…. I had to be left out, and also since SOME people had already prepared a boring, so-called ring pillow for her. Whatever. But I am the ever loyal friend. I didn’t get pissy at Mistress and did not throw a hissy-fit. I wished her all the joys and happiness too. I saw her get ready, transformed into a glowing bride, even though marriage was never something she planned for in her life…. I saw her looking all pretty and having fun and laughing with her best friends and taking photos. She forgot to take one with me. But it’s ok. As long as she's happy, I'm happy. While the party was going on, I waited patiently in her villa, err… next to her best friend’s baby – who was also left out of the party too. Sooooo glad I wasn’t the only one :P

Whilst I am happy for Mistress for “marrying a really good man”, I’m not so happy about having to share the bed with someone else. Hrrrumph! Oh, I would kiss-and-tell some about this “good man” of hers. You see, I kinda have this love-hate relationship for him. I love him because he makes Mistress happy and he makes Mistress laugh. I hate him because he bullies me and sometimes, he bullies Mistress too and makes her cry and I have to clean up after him. See? Sometimes, I want to punch him! Sometimes, he hides me and Mistress will get all frantic trying to search for me. What an idiot! He puts me in closets, under the bed, under pile of clothes, inside luggage bags… you name it! And while Mistress is frantically searching, he sits there like a sack of potatoes on the couch watching football with an innocent –looking face too. I know what he is up to. He just wants to distract Mistress for awhile so he can enjoy watching his stupid football. Who watches 22 grown men chasing after one stupid ball anyways?


When Mistress is in bed together with me, she at least tries to protect me. By the way, I’m still what she hugs to sleep. Just that now, I have to be squeezed in between him and Mistress otherwise he would throw a hissy-fit about “Why you always hug Stinky and you don’t hug me?” Geez. Gimme a break! I was there first, Mr. Whiny! And him….! I really don’t like sleeping with him! Aargh!


Nevermind the incessant snoring and the drooling and I’ll be damned if he ever drools on me!…. Most nights, he would steal me away from Mistress. Sometimes, he would throw me on to the floor. Sometimes, he would undress me – so ham sap! – and I would be cold and naked, always a good thing that I have an extra layer of skin… but still! Geez! But Mistress, she would come to my rescue. She would pinch, pinch, pinch him to make him return me to her, or kick him and make him pick me up from the floor – all these done while eyes still closed, mind you…  But the worse of all is when he kepit me in between his legs! Aaargh!!! Hot and suffocating man!! And then he farts in my face! What the hell!  Sometimes, the fart doesn’t stop at one. Idiot!! Mistress would slap him when she finds me in that hellish position. Whack! Whack! On his ass. Hahaha. Serves him right. He usually does this nonsense when Mistress wakes up early in the morning to go for her training, leaving me alone in bed with him. And that is when he will be up to extreme no-goods.


You think I don’t know what he is up to? He is adamant about getting his “smell” on me so that when Mistress takes a whiff of me, it is HIM that she is smelling and not so much her beloved paupau anymore. Such a sneaky bugger, I tell you. Oh, I know his tricks. See right, Mistress is very particular about how I smell and as such, she doesn’t use any other cream or lotion when she goes to bed – except Johnson’s Baby Lotion. That is the only smell allowed in bed. But this, this…. silly fellow is like the ambassador for Minyak Cap Kapak. Cold, minyak cap kapak. Headache, minyak cap kapak. Cough, minyak cap kapak. I know it drives Mistress nuts and she hides every single bottle that he buys. I’m not revealing their hidey hole. Uh-uh. No way.  And he has learnt his lesson – no getting into bed with the smell of Minyak Cap Kapak or whatever yucky smells. Hahaha.


Sometimes, Mistress helps me take revenge by letting me sock him one or two times in the head. Damn, it feels good when I get to sock him! As it is, lately, Mistress is complaining that I am starting to smell a bit like him already. Aaargh! That stupid idiot has ruined me! I need to get an emergency spa session right away! Grandmama, WHERE ARE YOU?


Yet, I will continue enduring all of his nonsense or any other nonsense for that matter. Because why? I love Mistress. I have known Mistress all her life and am confident that nothing can come between us (as I can already prove by the fact that I am the first thing Mistress hugs when she goes to bed and the first thing she is hugging when she wakes up – unless SOME moron steals me away or starts doing the whiny attention-seeking thing) – our relationship is rock-solid. I know it will break Mistress’ heart if she ever loses me so I am definitely gonna make sure I am right there always. Hmmm… actually I am the ONE who is truly there, in sickness and in health, till death do us part. In fact – I will be buried right there with Mistress holding on to me (it is in her last will and testament :P). So NAH to all of you again for giving me a hard time or for laughing at me, or laughing at Mistress for having me around all the time :P

p/s : Do not try to psychoanalyse all of these as Mistress being someone with a lot of baggage or whatever. There’s nothing to analyse. She is a hoarder and when she grows attached to things, she doesn’t give up on them. She doesn’t ditch old things for new ones. She is just as loyal to me as I am to her. There is actually a new version of me – sitting somewhere in the cupboard. But she chooses to mend me over and over again, rather than use a new one because she is a kind and sentimental person (some call her a fool but I beg to differ)… and because, as I said…. 

I Am Stinky.
And There Is Only One In The World.

He was laughing hysterically, high on drugs!

Weddings : A Learning Curve in Cambodia

Chris & Pisey's Monk Blessing Ceremony

Over the last weekend, The Wedding Planners in Cambodia planned the first "trend-setting" wedding here in Cambodia. Whilst the traditional Khmer ceremonies and rituals carried on as per usual, the wedding reception style was changed to something more in-tune with what you and I are used to - in other words - westernized. We had the pre-dinner cocktails, place cards seating arrangements, bridal grand walk-in and minimalistic decor of a chosen colour theme. And these were all on top of the Church Ceremony which was held a day before the reception.

For those of you who may not be familiar with the settings of a Cambodian wedding, it is actually a colourful affair - from the traditional ceremonies to the wedding reception. Actually, we ought to be familiar with it as it is almost similar to a "kenduri-style" wedding back home. But instead of the bride and groom sitting quietly on the dais, the Cambodian couple stands at the entrance to greet all their guests - starting from perhaps 4pm till 7pm before they head in to carry out some of the wedding formalities like speeches, cake-feeding and the dancing. Usually, guests are invited to come by the dozens - neighbours, distant neighbours, friends, acquaintances and they come and go from the hours of 4pm - 9pm. You can have 50 tables at the reception, but you may well invite over 2,000 guests! That is because as soon as a table of 10 is filled, they serve dinner and once dinner is finished, the guests leave and the table is re-set for the next set of 10. Doesn't it remind you of our "kenduris" in the kampung?

The wedding over the weekend was held at The Raffles here in da Penh and aside from the westernized arrangements of the reception, the guest list was trimmed to a mere 150 - another unusual encounter for Cambodian weddings - this is actually to facilitate everyone showing up at the same time, eating at the same time and leaving at the same time - again, something which you and I are more familiar with but not for the locals :)

Well, the wedding planning process which took place over a period of 6 months was an absolute blast, actually. The clients, Chris & Pisey (Chris being American facilitated to changing the trend a lot easier) were a real joy to work with and left their trust in me and my team to ensure that a great wedding was brought to live. With clients like these, I am reminded of how much I lurve my job as a wedding planner *smile*.

However, working in Cambodia proves to be a tad more challenging than normal. Especially for weddings. For those who don't know, my main bread and butter here in da Penh isn't the wedding planning business but my advertising and events business. For weddings, whilst I am established in Malaysia, I am merely making tiny first steps here in Cambodia. After a year-long "educational" process, finally, some of the 5-star hotels are starting to look at making weddings a unique and personalized showcase here in Cambodia too and thus 2 wedding fairs in the first half of the year (had the wedding biz been my bread and butter, I would've starved :P). As mentioned, another sure-thing about Cambodian weddings is that one wedding is the same as the next, and the next, and the next - you get my drift. Same colours, same flowers, same arches, etc. ! I have both locals and expat tell me that after awhile, you do not remember whose wedding was whose even from looking at the photos! Very true indeed.

Anyway, as I was saying, given the growing middle-class over the last couple of years, we are starting to see the locals becoming more open-minded and a little - just a little more receptive towards new wedding styles and ideas. But it is this in-between period that is also challenging because it meant that wedding planners the likes of me - have to really convince the client into trying out something different and most importantly - convincing them of personalizing their weddings. We have to convince them that natural-looking make-up is the way to go so that they look absolutely stunning on their wedding day. We have to convince them that hiring a photography team outside of Malaysia would offer them different styling to their wedding album. We have to convince them that doing a grand walk-in / wedding march-in would be a memorable experience. We have to convince them that the price is worth every penny that they are paying. (eg. local photographers can go for USD600 for the full day from 3am to 11pm!) The list goes on.

If they bought into the whole trend-setting idea of changing their wedding style, it wasn't the end of story for us. We have to now convince the local wedding vendors - from the venue to the florist to even the photographer or videographer if they were hired locally, that the 'concept' of the wedding has changed and these are the adjustments we need to do - whether in terms of make-up, photos or decorations. Even hotels the likes of Raffles would need to be taught to give a ballroom lay-out plan which takes into account the bridal walk-in on the red carpet! Sound system is a whole other issue in Cambodia. The quality of sound system is often gauged by how LOUD the music can be blasted even in a small ballroom. But say what you like, the vendor refused to tone down the decibels. So you just visualize this very elegant setting vs ear drums-breaking sound. You could not hear yourself think even! After convincing these vendors, there is that "Cambodia Challenge" that we have to go through - which is professionally-delivered service and product. Unfortunately, as mentioned in a previous post, most often in Cambodia, what you ask for, you may not get. Over the years of working here, I've realized this "It's ok" attitude amongst the local Cambodians. For example, my stage backdrop was chipped and had holes - likely damaged when they were transporting the thing - and of course, I wasn't happy about it, being anal and all. But the local guy would tell me "It's ok. It looks fine still. Nobody can see." You just want to smack him one, but you can't. Or when the vendor shows up with an arrangement that is different from what was agreed prior, it's also the "It's ok. It still looks fine." argument. The thing is, the Cambodian clients understand this working culture. And hopefully, the non-Cambodian client also understands the so called "culture" here. But I don't - and it sometimes baffles me as to why do the vendors think they can get away with something like that? Even the venue could spring a surprise on you on the event day itself by telling you they do not have red carpet in the entire hotel. OMG. (So people need to understand that last-minute changes, etc... does not really work-out well in Cambodia)....

After convincing the clients, followed by the vendors, I realized we also had to brace ourselves in convincing the locals who attend the wedding. It can be an endless process of the following : "What is pre-dinner cocktail?" / "Why do I have to sign the Wish Tree cards and hang it?" / "I want to take back the Wish Tree cards." / "Why can't I eat now?" / "What time do we leave?" /  "I brought 4 more people and I want to sit together" / "What are place cards?" and whilst all these were going on, they were stepping all over my lovely, lovely aisle petals. :\ Big lesson learnt - never-ever do place card arrangements again in Cambodia, no matter how small the wedding guest list might be :P At least, not for the next couple of years!

Overall, I had a great time with this particular wedding, having done a few in Cambodia already. I was also pleased that I managed to convince the client to hire a team of photographers from Malaysia to capture their memorable moments - 1am Studio - who did a GREAT JOB and helped rush a fast-edit for a surprise slideshow for the clients too. I'm happy some of my Malaysian comrades have witnessed first-hand what it's like at a Cambodian wedding (the most tiring wedding shoot they had done, apparently!) I am pleased with how the entire wedding turned out and definitely brimming with pride when the couple and both their families came up to me to give words of gratitude and encouragements. Even the GM at the Raffles was impressed and now wish to work closer with us at TWP. Of course, I only stood around and looked pretty :P My team was the real doers and they deserve a pat on the back. Make it two.

During a PR interview recently, when the reporter asked if bringing in international vendors meant that we are better than the local vendors, my answer was as follows : "No, it does not mean that we are better than the local vendors. We are just offering a different style and we should learn from one another to grow the business and grow the industry. This is what we call exchange of knowledge, skills and culture between one another. I could teach you about delivering professional service and you could teach me about your local culture and customs or the photographer could teach you about different techniques and you could teach them about your local styles and concepts. In this world, there is no such thing as you are better or I am better. We need to share in order to grow."

As I sit and reflect on some of the 'unseen' chaos during the wedding which took place, I realized that doing weddings in Cambodia is going to be a bitch of a climb up the learning curve - both for myself, for potential clients, for vendors and for local guests. But everyone has to start somewhere and I welcome the challenge. I had almost forgotten - we all started out the same back home - from somewhere too, taking that first step. I just need to work on my zen habits and try to stay calm and patient :P

Some of the vendors who came over for the launch of TWP back in 2009 have questioned why they haven't been asked to do anything more for Cambodia and why some other vendors are given the jobs instead. If you had read all the above, you would find your explanation. Given the "educational" process that we still have to go through with every job (not just weddings, mind you), convincing and convincing clients to engage more professional service providers and products at a 300% higher fee...  it IS an uphill climb indeed. You may have invested your time and money once to take a look at Cambodia. I have invested not just money, but my time here in Cambodia - and I am STILL learning. I am in this for the long haul in order for me to reap the rewards of my efforts and passion. Are you willing to be in it for the long-haul here?

Because, I definitely would welcome all local & international industry friends to help me fight a good fight here and grow the industry in Cambodia :) For those who have believed and supported me - whether physically or morally from near and far - I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

For more great photos - you will have to wait for the awesome ones from 1am Studio! :)

Church Ceremony decor

Simple & Elegant look for the Wedding Reception decor

Me and my boys