Seek Fortune, Not Vengeance. Seek Life, Not Death.

Whilst there is a whole lot of work waiting for me to clear at the moment, I'm taking a time-out to re-channel my energies. It is called recollecting my 'zen' :P

Partnerships, as I had written earlier here, is about effort. Alot of it. Sometimes, marriage seems to be an easier partnership. At least, the chances of knowing who you are sleeping with are a lot higher! Almost five months after my last posting about partnership, I am still learning. Yea, yea... I call it work-in-progress. This learning curve, will never end.

I think I'm just a little cranky today. I think the flu congestion in my nose has now spread to my brains!

But today, I'm tired of people who aren't part of the solution, yet they want to be a part of the problem. I cannot for the life of me figure that one out. All I know is that partnerships are not meant to be this way! Right or wrong? Partnerships are also about team work and team support. Ok, this area is lacking, I fill up there. That area is lacking, he fills up that one. When a mistake happens, what's the point in highlighting the mistake over and over again? As a team - I think the right way to do it should be finding solutions. You keep stoking the problem, it ain't gonna help the situation now, would it?

And what's up with all the drama and 'I-don't-friend-you-She-don't-friend-me' nonsense? Business is not child's play, my friend. Business is about setting targets, goals, objectives and meeting them. Meeting them the right way, of course. And the "right way" may be subjective. But I would say - choose your battles. Sure, you lose some battles - so what? Your aim is really to win the war, no? Not asking you to lose so many battles that it is an imminent defeat for you in the war! Choose your battles! Look at the Big Picture! There are some clients which I don't particularly like, but hell, I have to make it work the best way I can sometimes, right? True, given the fact that I am now in a position to sometimes choose my clients, I'll weed out those who are a bit .... too much, as they say (0.70 per day for my fee, the client can certainly terbang wau). But it doesn't mean I get to choose each and every time. Certain months, sales target is low, and we just have to grit our teeth and bear it, isn't it? And certains vendors - maybe you just plain don't like her face. But she's the best in town and you know your client loves her work. What do you do? I mean, we all tend to get personal and emotional because hey - this is after all, our own business. If it's not personal, then what is it, right? Again - choose your battles.

Sometimes, I feel I haven't been giving my numerous teams much support. Sometimes, I feel I haven't been given much support too. And with me stuck halfway through Timbaktoo, it ain't that fun either. Sometimes, even with your own partners, you need to explain your situation, your problems, your troubles and trash things out with each other. You never know, maybe there is a solution when you put another brain into the issue! I mean, if you suddenly tell me you have to leave early from an event and you don't tell me why - of course I would jump! And it'll just be too selfish of you to say "I want to leave, I leave!". All these child's play - Very The Tiring. And when you can't meet deadlines or you can't cope or whatever it may be - isn't it just common courtesy to voice this out rather than keeping the other party waiting.... and waiting.... and waiting..... and waiting....... and waiting some more? I'm not married to you! I don't know when you will fart, I don't know what it means when you keep quiet. Hell, I don't even know what it means when MOH does that! What more a partner that I don't exactly sleep with literally?? We are all learning. We are all learning about each other and hopefully how to work with each other better. Not how to kill each other better!

There is a Chinese saying - it goes like this : "Seek Fortune, Not Vengeance. Seek Life, Not Death."

To all my partners - whether you are client, industry vendor, team member, affliates, associates, business partner - no matter how unorthodoxed my methods may be, I've always got your backs.

My question is - have you got mine?

The Young & The Naked - Slammed

One of our Nude Portraits by
Yeh Poh Chung

Wow.. what a debate there is, eh? On the 2nd of January 2011, New Sunday Times published a story on nude photography and yours truly was featured in it here. Of course, a week later, it was time for slamming the press for being irresponsible, etc, etc.

As with every issues, sensitive or otherwise, in this whole wide world, everyone has their own opinion and they are entitled to it. Of course, that does not mean you are judge and jury. You just have an opinion, period. And as such - so do I.

I read some of the "hate-mails" with much jest. Some of their remarks were honestly, quite funny. Yea, sure, they had their own opinion but as I said - so do I. It is so easy to pass judgement and passionately voice how morally supreme they are (and by they - I meant those who had written their letters to the editor).

There was one who said, and I quote, "Their children will learn of their values and expose their bodies, too. Don't blame them should they pose for Playboy." OMG. Are you insinuating that my parents did a very bad job raising me? That was uncalled for and way below the belt. You don't even know me, nor my parents! Hang on, hang on. Does it also mean that by choosing to do wedding nudes, my husband and I will eventually decide to do a career make-over and go into modeling for porn magazine instead? Gee, I wonder how much our buttocks would actually fetch!

And then, she continued with : "And how can husbands allow the bodies of their wives to be seen in the nude by other men, even if it's the photographer? If this is the case, the wife must allow her husband to view other women's bodies, too. They shouldn't get jealous if their husbands lust after another woman's body." First of all, you don't know me, you don't know my husband, and you certainly don't seem to be acquainted with the photographer either. Just as a piece of information - Yeh Poh Chung's assistant in the same room with us was his wife. And here's another piece of information - my husband is welcomed to drool over another woman's body. How we lead our lives and what sort of understanding we have as a couple in a relationship has nothing to do with anyone else. But that's my opinion. You're welcomed to condemn me. But again - you don't know me. Just as I don't know you - from the way you said it - it sounded as though you had never ever seen another naked body, not even on screen. But see - that is me, passing judgement.

Another guy wrote to say this : "If such exhibitionism is allowed to flourish, then what's to stop married couples from making blue films and disseminating them to the public?" This got me laughing. Like, honestly laughing. I can so picture hubby now burning copies of DVDs for sale in the black market just so we can earn additional income to sustain our Woodstock lifestyle. Is this guy for real or what? This is the same as saying that a girl got raped because she was wearing a mini-skirt! Oh, I will not stand for that, I tell you. I was NEVER brought up to stand for these types of nonsense - by my parents and my family alike. I am of the opinion that you respect each other's bodies, whether they are naked or fully-clothed. Period. You can have your fantasies, but it stays there. That is called respect. Can we be a bit real for a moment? People fantasize, don't they? Unless they're not normal.

This guy went as far as to bring religion into the picture. OMG. I think we have enough religion and race-play in the political arena as it is. And then he said (or could've been a "she", how should I know?) - "Don't adulterate morality in the name of art." With all due respect, Sir - nudity as an art form is far from what is immoral in today's society.

Immoral are the rich who steal from the poor. Immoral are those who preach to others to do moral things, but abuse underaged children behind closed-doors. Immoral are those who push drugs on the street. Immoral are those who condone to child-trafficking. Immoral are those who fight to legalize child-marriage. Immoral are those who are corrupted through and through in broad daylight. Immoral are those who take another human life. Immoral are those who scream for high morality when in fact, they do little, if at all anything, to help society in better ways. But then again, hey, I don't know these people and what compelled them to do the immoral stuff they do. I am not judge or jury. Only the powers up there will do so.

Last I checked - no animal was harmed in the course of our nude photo session. No human blood was shed in the course of our nude photo session. No drugs or alcohol was consumed in the course of our nude photo session. No child was harmed in the course of our nude photo session. So best you put your "moral preachings" into better avenues.

I stand by the fact that my husband and I have no regrets taking this plunge and doing what WE BOTH felt was meaningful for OUR relationship (nothing to do with anyone else). I stand by the fact that there will always be those who would like it and there will be those who would hate it. But if you do not know me, your judgemental statements  are a truer laughing stock than my nude collection.

And lastly, I stand by my photographer, Yeh Poh Chung. I trust him 100%. Because I know him. You don't.

One Hit Wonder



Collateral Damage by Silverfish
where Chewing Gum Boy was first
published

 I have definitely rolled into 2011 with lots of positivity for me and with that, came a bagful of positive and exciting news. Eating, Praying & Loving is working its magic and I'm constantly doing the jiggy. Refreshing indeed to be focused on "glass-damn-full" *grin*

One of the jiggy-worthy news I received was a fan-mail from a reader who read Chewing Gum Boy (for those who haven't read it - do and I welcome any critique.... ) In it, she told me of how she had enjoyed the story and also shared that UNISEL Shah Alam had picked this short story of mine for the Malaysian Literature subject for one of the bachelor degree courses. Wow.

Last year, I received a mail from Cambridge International Examinations wanting to use an excerpt from Chewing Gum Boy for one of their literature examinations. And I received also another fan mail for Chewing Gum Boy, with comments of "I like the story very much... It is interesting and a very touching story..." Wow again.

As such, I am proud of this short story of mine. And then I realized - OMG, like Dexy's Midnight Runners, I am a one-hit wonder! None of my other short stories, whilst published have garnered this much "fame". And plenty other short stories that haven't been published or selected for publication.

Truth is - Chewing Gum Boy touched on a subject matter that was very dear to my heart. I was both curious and familiar with the lives and plight of street kids in Vietnam while I was living there. The part in my story where the protagonist went under the bridge and came face-to-face with the street kids - that was me in real-life. That was me, trying to get them to go to school, go to an orphanage, do something with their lives. And that was me, trying to get them to tell me their story too.

Unlike my other short stories, I actually spent 4 months crafting this piece. Story ideas are always swimming about in my head. As such, churning a story out is no problem. I can write a short story in less than 2 hours. It is the crafting of the story that takes up a lot of time and patience. Well, back then, every free time I had, I would look at the story, again and again and again until I could memorize the story word-for-word (I should, shouldn't I? I wrote it! :P). I visualized each sentence, each paragraph, each section. Basically, I wanted to tell a story and I wanted to tell the world of their plight.

I haven't spent this much time crafting another story after Chewing Gum Boy. I was still under employment then and as such, had slightly more time to look into my hobbies. But since I started my own businesses, crafting stories seem to be the least of my priorities. No wonder I've been a one-hit wonder!

There's another story, dear to my heart, that is waiting for me to craft. And I am extremely thankful to Sharon Bakar, my editor, for sitting down with me on this piece and going through it para-by-para (shamefully, 6 months ago) so as I know what I need to focus on when I start crafting. I am also extremely thankful to Sharon for NOT condemning me as a "fluke" writer. I know she is a big fan of Chewing Gum Boy as found here and here and also a small fan of mine (perasan-nya!) as found here :)  With an editor who is hell-bent on seeing me produce another brilliant story, then I am hell-bent on crafting one!

Now, to clear some time on my schedule and go chase Maxime Richer for the screenplay of Chewing Gum Boy..... :)
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Other mentions of Chewing Gum Boy are found here and here.