My Family

(a working draft of my novel : "Growing Up A Chinese Daughter")

It's the time of the year to celebrate Cheng Beng Festival and since my Grandpa's passing, I had not missed a single Cheng Beng. This year, however, I reflected and realized all the more - how important my family is to me.

I was actually feeling rather down in the dumps (apparently, I can blame it on PMS :P) and reaching the point of burning out with the stress and of course, not to mention - the upsetting fiasco with Mr. Deep Throat.

Whatever negative feelings I was carrying with me for the past few weeks just as soon, disappeared the moment I was back with my entire family in the kampung. The mixture of my beloved kampung and the natural closeness and comfort between me and my family just made me feel really comforted. Of course, top that off with the delicious food in Tanjung Tualang or the simple home-cooked meals... I feel..... I'm home.

My family - is not without their individual dramas. You know how it is, this person doesn't get along with that person, etc, etc. However, every year, all the differences are set aside to celebrate Chinese New Year and Cheng Beng together. And there's one thing I know and learnt from them - is that when one person is in trouble, the whole family will be concerned. Just like the year (in my teenage rebellion), I ran away from home, the whole family was ... you know, worried and concerned for me. Or when my Ah Sum and Suk Suk nearly got a divorce....... the one person which surprises me the most is always my Yee Suk. He seems the most anti-social and does not talk nor mix with the family - however, miraculously, he seems to know what is going on. Of course, I do feed him with information whenever I see him :) I am good like that - I am close to all of them. In any case - it comforts me to know, I have solid support from my family. (And I know if MOH ever bullies me - my Yee Suk will skin him alive!!)

Anyone who have had the chance to get to know my crazy family will know - we are indeed a crazy bunch. We annoy each other, we poke fun at each other and there is a lot of laughter in the house. It is like my source of entertainment. That is why, every year, I look forward to Chinese New Year. It is the time to really unwind with the family after a year of hard work. It works the same during Cheng Beng. And last weekend, during our family's 5th Cheng Beng, I realized that I really, really, really miss this while I am working overseas.

My family is not rich. In fact - the most educated would be my Dad - who is a retired headmaster. The rest of his siblings are either mechanics, electricians, tailors or cooks. They can barely read English and hardly finished their primary education. But they do have a lot of wisdom to impart.

I have learnt, through my family - to earn an honest living. There is no reason to cheat and of course, it goes without saying that if you're lazy - you get nothing.

I have learnt, through my family - to be happy. Happy with life. Of course, it doesn't mean to be complacent. There's a Chinese saying that goes like this : "If you don't have such a big head, don't wear such a big cap."

I have learnt, through my family - to live within my means. There are days when we have to eat plain porridge for our meals and there are days when we get to eat succulent prawns.

I have learnt, through my family - to be independent - yet, to maintain a close bond with the family because this is where your root lies. I would elaborate on this - all the years, growing up, I had rebelled - because the more they preached family bonds and closeness, the more I felt they had a control over me. I could not understand this point until the year I was in Australia and I missed Chinese New Year for the first time. Let me tell you this - I was utterly miserable. Not just because I missed my family - I also realized that without my family - I have no idea what or who I am. The customs and traditions practised by my family has moulded me and given me an identity. Now that I am all grown-up - I understand this simple concept so clearly.

I have learnt, through my family - not to be a coward. Stand up for myself and don't take crap sitting down. (which I took a little too literally and much to their chagrin - I'm such a firecracker!!). My entire family votes for the Opposition :)

I had a long chat with my Grandma over the weekend when I was back. I told her how frustrated and upset I was with the whole Mr Deep Throat fiasco and how I ended up on the losing end at the end of the day. She had this to say to me : "You were never raised to be a coward. You were raised to know what is right and what is wrong and when you deserve something and when you don't. Be proud that you stood up for what you know is right. Even if you get the job, you make all the money, if you're not happy doing it, it amounts to nothing."  

Grandma summed it all up.

I guess in my own ways, I have learnt (and is still learning) a lot of things from this family. But I guess, we shall save those for another day of writing.