My 9th Year in Myanmar Right Smack In The Middle Of A Coupvid Situation

This was my first Thingyan in Myanmar. 
Noticed the car no. plate? LOLs 

I wasn't going to do a blogpost as I am thoroughly not in the mood to do so and there's too much going on in my mind to piece proper thoughts together. But then, I didn't want to break the tradition as I had done a blog post for every year's anniversary that I had been in Myanmar. 

So it was, 9 years ago, 19th May 2012, I left  Cambodia, the Kingdom of Wonder and arrived on a rainy evening into Mystical Myanmar. Yup - mystical it had been. In fact, enigmatic may be a more appropriate term for this Golden Land. 

As I sit here reminiscing those early days, I cannot help but crack up as some of life's most frustrating moments had happened here. I guess, it was those lifetime experiences that you get to regale your friends and families with. Let me try to put down some of those moments that is making me LOL right now. Getting into a taxi and for some reason back then, the drivers a) will never switch on the AC, b) at every red light they turn off the engine and c) they think turning on the headlights use up gas! Also remembering some drivers required you to hold on to the door in case it swung open when they take corners. 😅😅😅 Yup, I remember what I called the "Flinstone Taxis" with holes on the floor of cab! There was one stormy night, we got into a taxi, the AC wasn't working, and the windscreens were fogging up. The driver had faulty headlights and faulty windscreen wipers. He was driving (not slowly, mind you) with one hand, while the other was holding a cloth to wipe at the foggy screen. MOH and I just shook our heads in disbelief. 

Speaking of cars and driving, my driving test experience was a ball! Arrival at the office for registration, you can see it was filled floor-to-ceiling with files and papers. How anyone finds anything in that stack is beyond me. Anyway, theory test! We had a translator because everything was in Burmese. He could barely distinguish left and right in English and I mostly had to back-translate things with him just to confirm that we understood the questions correctly. But one question stood out :

"If you were driving down a narrow lane at night and going to turn the corner, what should you do?"
A. Honk 
B. Slow Down The Car 
C. Switch on your lights 

Obviously, we chose B. It could've been A cos that's what they do here. But the correct answer was C!!! So I argued with the agent and said "But it's at night! The lights should already be turned on!!" He just grinned and said the answer was the answer. Anyway, we passed that. On to the Road Driving Test. And surprise!!! It was a Daytona machine!!! Ooooh yeah. Bring it on. Dude manning the machine said just to follow all instructions on the screen. I passed with flying colours man. On my screen, there were not a single car anywhere. Just me driving down a scenic road. LOLOL! After this road test, I could well and truly understand why the drivers in Myanmar drive the way they do. Finally the Parking Test. Firstly, we had to bring our own car. Now, ours was a small car. Know what they did? They readjusted the car parking lot size (they used 4 metal poles) and made it smaller. I was in disbelief. I mean, do parking lots auto-adjust their sizes out there? No! Anyway,.... when it was my turn to do it, MOH said to me "You bang my car, you pay!" So much for the motivation eh? Whatever, so that's how I got my Myanmar drivers' license. 

Other things that cracked me up - first nevermind the lack of high-speed internet. To make a phone call, we had to dial like a hundred times before the call gets through. We used to joke that someone was actually sitting in front of a huge panel, connecting the calls manually and that is why sometimes when we called someone, somehow, the call ended up with someone else! Ordering of gas and water supply to your home - my gas guy was a breeze. You know why? Cos back then, there were few foreigners in Myanmar. All we had to do was call the gas guy and said "Hello! Malaysia! Malaysia!" and he would know exactly where to bring the gas. This worked then because I could hardly speak Burmese except for mingalabar, kyezu tin bar tal and ngai yote thee. LOL! My water boy back then was legit LMAO. The water brand name was "Superman" and without fail, each time he would call me and be like "Hello. I am Superman. I am now outside your door." Or "Hello. I am Superman. You need water?" 😂😂😂 Sadly, Superman closed his shop in 2014. So I no longer had Superman standing at my door! It's an amazing non-existent system that worked, somehow. 

It had always been the kindness and warmth of the Myanmar people that won my heart right from the first day. They were always ready to help. I had witnessed myself, how taxi driver charged me 2,000Ks for my ride, and halfway through, he would donate 1,000Ks to an old beggar. Or this young garbage collector with punk hair, running across a main road just to give a few hundred kyats to a beggar lady. Back then, the simplicity and honesty of the people was just so, so, so..... heartwarming. In our first apartment, one of our neighbours from downstairs, climbed all the way up to the top floor to welcome us, and told us that if we needed anything, she and her daughter were just downstairs. She told us she knew Myanmar was a bit "rough" for foreigners. I also remembered those communal cooking of the Hta Ma Nae - a seasonal traditional delicacy of savoury sticky rice that is usually cooked at the end of the cool season. We had been invited to quite a fair few of these communal activities previously and I had enjoyed myself immensely. Of cos, as the nation developed and leap-frogged, all of these started evaporating away. People became less communal. They had their faces (like many of us in Asia) stuck to their phones when mobile data grew by leaps and bounds with the entrance of new telcos in 2014. And by then, there was just too many foreigners arriving into Myanmar to check in on them. It was no longer a novelty to see a foreigner or interact with one. Systems like the "Malaysia! Malaysia!" above no longer worked. People also became less honest. Days of taxi drivers driving all the way back to look for you to return your phone or camera or whatever you left behind in the taxi were rare now. (happened to MOH before!!) Before, there used to be donation boxes along the roads, filled to the brim and no one touched them. By late 2013, early 2014, these were gone too. That was indeed the price to pay for development. Yet, through it all, I still saw pockets of inspiration from the local people with their kindness and warmth. Of cos, by then, I also had my fair share dealing with greedy ones and bad ones too. Particularly after having to move from one apartment to another for literally the first 5 years!! But literally for the first 2+ years, I somehow didn't think bad people existed in Myanmar! 

Looking back at my own journey in this country, I too had learnt, had grown together with them. From the first day that I consulted at the largest retailer in Myanmar, when the then Marketing Manager told me her story of how she took 10 years to graduate due to the political situation, I had made a promise that I will help her to the best of my abilities and capabilities. I coached her, mentored her, helped her build up the marketing department and the marketing team and eventually saw all her promotions and finally as Marketing Director. Our 8 years of partnership had turned into a grounded and solid friendship, despite all of the face palms and bang-head-on-wall moments. I was seconded to the Group Level after that hence our partnership ended. But she recently told me that it was so hard to find this kind of trust level these days. I miss her and I miss working with her but she is doing well despite all the crazy circumstances. I always loved her for her positivity and optimism. 

The same promise I made to her, I extended to the people of Myanmar. I started a Youth Centre in 2014 after 2 years of spending time at the orphanages and monasteries we supported - and witnessing the evilness of the whole system (which I don't really want to talk about right now) - it is from seeing and hearing all these evil that I decided to start my own Youth Centre. And then we established SoyAi, a social enterprise making tofu and soy milk to self-sustain and to help support the rest of the children for their education and some daily needs. Both the Youth Centre and SoyAi had been the steepest learning curve of my life. It's not that I couldn't make soy milk or tofu or to sell them. It was the whole coaching and mentoring of these youths who had so much baggages and had been placed in a system that was all wrong, that I was unprepared for. The kids from Children of Tomorrow came from northern Myanmar and hence, I understand the ethnic problems and challenges even back then. I had my fair share of fighting the "system" and trying to right the wrongs. But the system failure was far bigger and definitely something beyond me (and even when I reached out to UNICEF, I heard nothing back despite them paying USD90,000 per month for their rental of a military-linked property). I focused instead on empowering the kids and the youths. And well, what a f***ing ride it had been! And I say that with gusto yeah. The Youth Centre was up and running all the way till Covid-19 last year, with computer classes, math, arts, classes - supported by MYME (Myanmar Mobile Education) team of teachers and in-between, some of my students who volunteered. Of course in the earlier days of the Youth Centre and SoyAi, I had many, many friends both local and overseas who helped made it all happen and helped spend time with the kids and the SoyAi boys too. SoyAi is still selling their delicious and nutritious soy milk and tofu, the SoyAi boys survived Covid-19 and they are now trying to survive Coupvid. I continue to order from them particularly for their Feed Myanmar Programme to donate to poor communities every month. Last week, one of the boys got arrested simply because he was standing in line to get a token for the bank so that he could access his cash. As people would know by now, the banking industry here, something that had took 10years to build up is now crashing down right under our noses. Anyway, back to this boy - reason for arrest was for nothing. He wasn't even protesting. Just wanted to access his cash! One of my students introduced a lawyer to me and I paid a hefty sum for his release. Thank Buddha, he was out by that day's afternoon. It was a very stressful ordeal for me and I'm sure it was for him too. But anyway, SoyAi is still striving. This is one succession planning I did well. Htet Shine is a stellar example of an underprivileged youth who worked hard and believed, and therefore had the chance to turn his life around positively. He even managed to graduate in between and invited me and MOH to his graduation ceremony. The rest of the children, wow, some are grown up now. Some are also in fact married with kids! Can you believe it?? I. FEEL. OLD. NOW. But I am thankful that none as far as I know had gone astray. Some have rejoined the army up in the north (not the gomen army ya), some are in mining, some had gone over to China, some had become pastors / monks themselves..... wow. For this, as a Sayarma, I feel very thankful to have had this opportunity to touch their lives, no matter how small. 

Both my parents were teachers, in fact my Papa was a Headmaster when he retired. I never thought I'd become one. But it happened here in Myanmar when the founder and owner of Strategy First University took a chance on me, despite my tattoos and blue hair - far from a model teacher here in Myanmar - and I taught for 5 years, until this Coupvid happened. At least during Covid-19, we moved to online classes. But this Coupvid shit, well with limited access to internet, online my ass is more like it. So, I feel really sorry for that last class. They had to stop due to Covid-19 lockdowns and when we were almost finishing the term online, the shit hit the fan again. Looks like they'll never ever get their certificate of completion! Anyway, I've had students from all walks of live walked through my door and I've seen some go off-track whilst others I've seen grew so much. It was a joy for me really to coach all of them in digital strategies, marketing communications and branding. This was one of the field that was sorely way far behind in Myanmar. Back then, agencies in Myanmar were far and few in between and even then, their work and service level was appalling. But this had improved drastically over the years. I'd like to think that I had inspired a handful of them to be great in this field. I know I wasn't the best Sayarma they had, but I truly and honestly gave my 200% heart and passion into making sure they got the right foundation to spearhead and lead this industry in Myanmar. I've coached teams to start their businesses, I've mentored students when they go off-track for a bit. No matter what, as long as they need, I would make sure to keep my doors opened for all of them. And I encourage them to give back to their own country. Once a year, during the Thingyan period, I marry both my worlds - my students and the Children of Tomorrow where my students supposedly "volunteer" at my request to put up a party for the kids. But these students, they are doing their own good deeds elsewhere, I know. I'm proud of them. I may be a very no-nonsense, don't-try-to-be-funny-with-me-I-will-beat-the-shit-out-of-you Sayarma, with my very threatening kyein lone, but at the very bottom of it, these young adults need someone who believe in them. And I believe in them. They just need to believe in themselves in whatever they choose to do. Sayarma arr paye ni par tal naw. I had even groomed some of them to take over my roles here in Myanmar as I prepared to maybe look into moving to another country. I was more or less asking some of these students to take over my place for a lot of those public speaking seminars and stuff. I always believed the young people should pave the way and the old ones should please move aside and don't stop the world from revolving. I felt at that time, the country was on the right trajectory path and I felt my students, they were already grown ups. They've got this. Time for me to go save the world. Till this day, I still cannot believe it - January 2020, MOH and I were SERIOUSLY making plans and enquiring on travels to either Syria or Palestine. Look at the SHIT that I am facing now. 🤦🤦🤦

As much as I do not want to talk about this whole Coupvid situation, it is unavoidable as I am right smack in the middle of it. 3 months into the Coopers doing the shit they did, I suddenly can't see the future for Myanmar. When I think about this current situation, my heart starts feeling heavy and it sinks. I can only shake my head in dismay at how much good had been thrown out overnight. Everyone lost. Everyone loses. Sometimes, I cannot understand the human race. Is the greed for money and power so necessary to cause so much harm and hurt and destruction? Why can't everyone just always aim for a win-win situation? Maybe I am being very idealistic. But I can never ever understand such kinds of greed and such kind of hateful need to dominate against another. I guess, I will never understand because I am not made that way. I was brought up right by my Mama, Papa and my family. It's a very simple living concept - Be A Good Person. Earn An Honest Living. If you do bad things, you're gonna get struck by lightning (this is provided my parents don't get to me first!). So, I will never understand these people with their warped fascists mentality and f***ed up brains, on the path to destroying every good thing in sight and yet, believe they are doing God's duties. Err... tell me how? 

And this whole global Covid-19 situation is probably someone up there really hammering down on human beings. It's maybe a way of saying "Stop the bad shit that you are all doing." But we human beings - we never will learn, will we? Greed, power, over and over again this vicious cycle. The work that I do for climate change has opened up a whole new world of greed under my very nose. As this greed continues, we will cease to exist by 2050. I can hear the aliens from another planet saying "Well done, Hoomans." Sigh. 

I derailed from my Myanmar topic. After 9 years here, what's next for me? As many may well know by now, MOH is no longer in country. Things are not looking good here at all and he still has his ambitions unfulfilled and honestly, at our age, we don't have time to waste. I agree too. At this moment, I am just thankful that I have internet that enables me to continue working, especially on the climate change work as that is kinda new for me (1st day of the Coupvid, was my first day reporting for work with the global network of activists!) Keeping my brains focused on work had truly kept me sane during the whole Coupvid situation. Especially after I lost my fight training gym in a bombing in Yangon. I'm still dealing with this episode, but I'm still training hard because I'm gonna keep my fight coaches' legacy alive. (Ok, I just laughed at my own statement. I am prolly the last person to be able to keep their legacy alive because when I spar with them, they said I don't look cool as I scream "Mommyyy!!" and run in the opposite direction 😅😅😅) 

As for the banking and cash situation, well, during Covid-19, MOH told me I should go cashless. "It's digital transformation! Cash is no longer king!" and pestered me to pay from apps and go cashless. Well, aren't we all lucky that I ignored him and continued believing that cash is king? Look at the shit show now. Mattress it will continue to be! AND years ago, he refused to get WiFi at home. He said mobile data was so fast, just use mobile data. NOW, look at where that got us. All mobile data is still a blackout (Telcos - you should have some balls and say switch it on or you leave. No? No need to issue more woke statements everyday). Well, our kind neighbour one day came over and said "I see you do not have any WiFi cable to your home." And bless him, he gave me his WiFi password. These days, I can use the WiFi while I am seated at my doorsteps. Still, this is what I mean when I say the Myanmar people has come back out to take care of one another during troubled times. 

As for Myanmar itself, I am really at a loss for words. I don't think it is going into a pariah state. It IS a pariah state right now. The one thing that stuck though was one of my students said to me (see I told you some of them are grown up!) "Eileen, you have to believe in the seeds you planted over the last 9 years. You have to believe that these seeds have grown, will be smart and are strong enough to survive." Yes, I believe in these seeds. So I pray everyday that these seeds keep growing, and keep thriving and will one day be part of the nation-building when the country is once again ready for it. Maybe at that time, the "Hello I am Superman and I am now outside your door" would come back alive again. 

🙏🙏🙏

Caught In A Country Going Through A Coup De'tat

Unarmed civilians using a frying pan
to protect himself from live ammunition
Photo Credit : I took this from the internet
(anyone with info of original
photographer please let me know)

Today is Day 56 of the Coup in MM. I had been journaling everyday since this whole fiasco started, trying to pen my thoughts, my emotions and my activities during this dark period. Perhaps one day, I would be able to write a book on this. But for now, let me keep this simple. 

I need to go back to Day Zero. The day I scoffed at my Mama when she told me to stock-up as there was some "rumours" of a coup. I told her after almost 10 years of moving the country forwards in a quasi-democracy, the coup will not take place. This was going to be my first miscalculation of the shit that happened. 

Because it did happen. On the 1st Feb. Nevermind that it was the day I started a new activism consultation role remotely and had no internet or phone line access to let my new employers know of my unavailability. The shit had hit the fan. When phone lines and mobile data was restored, it was a frantic chase to communicate - with family, with my new activist job team mates, with friends, with students. 

The first 20+ days, I had a different viewpoint of this whole mess. Not that I was for the coup. I wasn't and I'm totally against it. But the first 20+ days, it was peaceful with protestors in the streets celebrating like it was some fiesta. There were even cosplaying protestors and pyjama party protestors. MOH and I even went ourselves to have a closer look at all the on-goings. Some foreign and local friends asked me why I had a different perspective of this whole situation. Well, in Malaysia, I personally consider us to have fake democracy. And by the by, didn't we also just had a coup in Malaysia in March 2020? Malaysians like us, we have been so fed-up with everything that we no longer give a damn whatever backdoor they wanna do. And then haven't we also gone through the Bersih crackdowns? We also have our Sedition Act and fair share of cases such as Teoh Beng Hock, Kevin Morais, Altantuya, Darren Kang, the infamous 1MDB scandal just to name a few. What could we do about all of these? To date, no justice had been served. As far as I know - ex-PM The Frog Face is still living his life scott-free. So, hence, I thought if it was to be BAU for everything and just losing freedom of speech, then let's get on with it. After all, we just wanna "cari makan". For me, which country really has true democracy in Southeast Asia? Furthermore, whilst I love the Myanmar people and have called this my home for the past 9 years, it wasn't in my place to say anything because I didn't even have voting rights. But we both supported them from our hearts. Then of course, the Coopers rolled out this draconian cyber security law which set the country back by years and I was like "God damn, the work that so many people did for the people of this country to bring them forward is now wiped off just like that!" 

I had read up on all the 1988 and 2007 uprising in MM prior to coming and living here and I still idealistically and naively thought that in such modern times, the Amoeba Coopers might have a bit more sense not to disrupt things in the same manner. This was my second miscalculation to the whole fiasco. After the first stretch of peaceful protest days, the killings began. And I watched in horror as the stuff I had only read about in books unfolded before my very eyes. This then crossed every single line in my books for me. I could no longer view this with a political lens. I do not stand for blatant mass atrocities. I watched in horror at clips of ambulances being shot at, of volunteer medics being beaten half to death, of young teenagers being shot in the head. In the head!! For fuck's sake, they are unarmed! Do you know what they have to protect themselves?? Non-bulletproof shields and like that photo I used above - frying pan for crying out loud. Is there a need to sniper shoot them in the head??? This was wrong for me on so many levels. And the worse part is, as a teacher, coach, mentor in this country to hundreds of youths - I feared for them. 

Ever since then, it had been a daily routine to check-in on everyone. Alive? Safe? Where are you? I can't even tell them not to go out because,....... they have to go do what they gotta do. I am in no position to tell them not to do it. I can only tell them to please stay safe and update me as soon as possible. Of cos, MOH and I both are doing what we can BTS. I will not divulge too much here on what's being done but we're not people who could sit down and not do anything. But of course, we are keeping safe. We have the privilege of keeping ourselves safe. But many of the MM people do not have this privilege. 

Fast forward to Day 56 of the coup, there had been over 400 deaths and just yesterday alone, the highest death toll was recorded at 114, including a 5yr old child. What did the 5yr old child do to the barbarians I have no idea. Coincidentally, yesterday was Army's Day. It is now Army's Day Of Shame. Everyday, is an emotional ride. To be honest, I've been trying to keep sane by focusing on work and my training but it is hard too. I go from feeling guilty because I am so privileged to being angry at the blatant, brazen cockiness of the Amoeba Coopers to feeling ashamed that I couldn't do more. When we go out to get our groceries and stuff - it kills me just to hear the service staff saying "Thank you, and have a good day Ama!" I don't even know where I can hide my face when they say that. Some students, neighbours and the likes have asked "Are you planning to leave?" and when we answer as "No, we will stay till we cannot stay anymore", their response is always, "Thank You for staying with us." My heart breaks to hear that. And even if one chooses to leave, they would not judge you nor bear a grudge on you either. They understand this is their fight. Not yours. Despite all of the odd enigma of the Myanmar mindset and culture, and certain things that drove me up the walls with them over the years, they are good people. They are kind people. They are honest people. They certainly do not deserve to have their lives threatened this way. Nightly raids and kidnappings, nightly shooting into their homes, some arrested and returned the next day in body bags, the list goes on. 

The day before that, the Amoeba Coopers were on national TV threatening their own citizens that they will shoot in the heads and backs if they are out protesting. I'm outraged and appalled by that. What kind of world do we live in that a person is able to threaten human lives in that manner openly in public? Why is this being allowed? I beg to question : if the international bodies continue allowing this small-fry here to continue their atrocities, what message is it sending to the bigger "powers"? I think there is something extremely wrong with their outdated policies and stuff and these needs a serious re-look into with utmost urgency. Meanwhile - I also wish they stop issuing rubbish PR statements. Cos those statements had not stopped a 1yr old and a 5yr old toddler and over 400 people from being murdered. This is no longer political to me anymore. I value human lives. I repeat again - it is just simply NOT OK to shoot to kill anyone that is unarmed and who are not even in attack mode. Believe me, some were just riding their motorbikes, just getting about their business to make ends meet. 

This morning, some of the gym staff spoke to me and one had tears in her eyes as she spoke about the atrocities. You can literally feel their pain of seeing their own fellowmen murdered with no sound reason. I don't even know what to say. Can't even fucking say "Stay strong," cos seriously - stay strong till when?? When every single person who is against the Coopers are killed?? 

Some may recall, at the beginning of January 2020, MOH and I were making some plans, even got hold of travel agency to try to make a trip to Syria or Palestine. I wanted to see what I could do to help over there. But then Covid-19 happened. Though, be careful what you wish for, they say. Now this is all happening right under my very eyes and my heart is totally unprepared for it. I've had a few meltdowns privately because sometimes, we just need to let it out. For my students, I too need to stay strong for them. 

To the Myanmar people - MOH and I have decided that we will stay on in solidarity till we cannot stay anymore. If the time comes and we have to leave, I want you to know that you are not alone. When you win this war, we hope you will let us return and let us have the privilege of holding your hands and help you rebuild the nation once again. To the Gen Z youths, this country's future is in your hands and make sure when you get it back, put in place a leader who is young and relevant. There is no space for old, stubborn and irrelevant leaders to drive the nation backwards. For now, I pray. I pray for all of you. 





 

Another Letter To Heaven.... A CNY Away From Family

 

This was circa 2018 when we actually
managed to take a full family photo

Dearest Ah Por, 

OMG!! The past two weeks had been rather crazy for me. I can now say that I had experienced a pandemic, and in the middle of that, I had experienced a military coup while I was in Myanmar. I don't want to say too much, except that it was quite a frantic and unpleasant with our telecommunications and internet access cut-off at times. I'm not sure if 2020 was just a trailer.... Ah Porrrrr! But thankfully, we are safe and sound. Pretty sure you recollect your days during the Japanese war, the war against the communists, the 1968 racial riots and the tyranny of our fake democracy in Malaysia. You're probably scoffing at me for being frantic just cause I lost internet connection. I cannot imagine how you had gone through the Japanese occupation and all of that. 

Anyway, Ah Por, tomorrow is CNY 2021 - the Year of the "Niu". Gonna be greeting everyone with Happy "Niu" Year! (I can almost hear the "aiya,.... ting nga yee!!" 

But I am away from family this year, Ah Por. Stuck here in Myanmar and I've been a little sad about it. The last time I missed CNY with the family was in 1998 when I was studying in Australia. I remembered, I was also very sad that year. I called many times (on reverse call, I remember cos I had no money to pay for phone calls!!! LOLOL!!), even during the family reunion dinner. Do you remember? It was that year though that I realized how important this celebration was for me and how important family was to me. It is a celebration of our culture, of our heritage, and also a deep root of family ties and values - for which without, I would be nothing. I made it a point after that, that no matter what, I will never ever miss another CNY with the family. Even though I worked abroad and some countries (like Myanmar) do not recognize CNY as a public holiday, I still took leave to be home and I would usually stay for the week and more. When I agreed to get married and you guys told me that my CNY would now be celebrated at my husband's side, you remembered how I bawled my eyes out and threatened not to get married? 😂😂😂 Well, thankful for my understanding in-laws. I was still hoping that this year, despite the craziness the world had experienced last year, (I told you about this crazy virus, you remember?) I would be able to get my ass home. But alas! That was not to be the case 😭😭😭 

So, here I am, moping around because I will miss all the family celebrations we usually do back in the kampung. We did not celebrate last year because we were in the mourning period. And this year - crazy virus period. I didn't even feel like celebrating this year. But a friend of mine told me that no matter what, we should still celebrate, it brings good "qi". And then I realized - it's true! Why should I let a pandemic stop me from being Chinese?? Right or not? I also know you wouldn't have liked that I was  not going to celebrate. It'll be so pantang! LOLOL! 

Let me regale you with my memories of our Lui family's CNY - although I'm sure you know very well how it was always celebrated because, I guess, most of it were your rules as the matriarch of the family! 😅😅😅 

It will always be the eve of CNY, where one by one, Yee Suk (in Sabah), Ku Cher (in KL), Suk Suk and family (in KL) and my family would take that journey home to the kampung. Some would've arrived a day or two earlier. My family - we usually started the journey early, early in the morning to avoid the god forsaken traffic jam coming home. I remembered one year, it took us 11 hours sitting in traffic to get home. We were so late for the reunion dinner! On CNY eve, there's usually a myriad of activities going on - the last minute cleaning (usually Ku Cher - she never finishes cleaning somehow! LOL), the hanging of new curtains or at least cleaned ones, new cushion covers, the hanging of the decorations (I would usually be the one decorating the whole house with all your leftover ang pows LOL!) and then the big prep for the reunion dinner! When you were still mobile, you would be the MasterChef, flexing your muscles in prepping all the dishes. There must be symbolic dishes - fish "yu", prawns "har" (for the hahaha laughter throughout the year) and of cos some vegetable dishes and like 10 dozen chickens. Ok, ok. Not so many. But you always had like A LOT of chicken on the table. And then I learnt that the more dishes we had on the table during the reunion feast, symbolized the wealth of the family and at that time, as a kid, I was conflicted. How the hell were we wealthy when we lived in a run-down wooden house?? As I grew older, I realized it was just all symbolical, you know. It was just your way of making sure everyone in the house at reunion had lots to eat and it was your happiness to see everyone filling up their tummy to the brim. One bowl of rice always gets a "Why you eat so little???" And then, I also realized, the chicken drumstick dilemma  - you had 6 grandchildren. One chicken would mean everyone had to fight for the drumstick. Having 3 chickens meant none of your grandchildren had to fight. We all had one each. And I still loved how you spoiled me cos you knew I wouldn't eat the white chicken skin so you always removed the skin from my chicken drumstick. In recent years though, Papa took over as MasterChef and Mama as the Sous Chef prepping this reunion dinner for the family. There's always the complain of why nobody was helping out much but it always gets done every year! 😅😅😅 

Anyway, after the dinner, it'll be a massive clean up - usually I try to hide and run but it was unavoidable as a kid. Funnily enough, as I started working, I got away with doing lesser of these chores. LOLOL!! Ya, you always say "why you so lazy, you are a big-eat-lazy!!" 😅😅😅 I just dislike cleaning up of any sort, till now! Anyway, after the cleaning up, there will be that long que to use the one single bathroom in the whole house! And you remember how the stupid water supply was always cut off on the eve??? Haiyo...... you would be very irritated cos "no water" (mo sui - meaning "no money"), particularly during CNY period was so pantang! LOL! After everyone had been able to get their shower done, most would gather round the TV munching on CNY snacks. And in my younger days, of cos the kids would be playing outside, with the 'Pop-Pop' and Moon Rockets and what-nots. And then I remember also, almost every year, Samsuk would read everyone's fortune guide. Well, but sadly though, as we all grew older, everyone seemed to hide in their own corners after the reunion dinner. Though Yee Suk, Suk Suk, Samsuk and Papa would sometimes sit outside, chit-chatting and catching up over beers. Ohhh, there's also the tong yuen that needed to be made by hand. When Ernie was around, this was his task to help you. After that, it was my Mama the Sous Chef who made this. I just didn't touch it cos when I did it, I would do stupid things like rolling out a worm shape or square or whatever shape and then I'd get into trouble and be shooed out of the kitchen! LOL!! 

Usually, the single men would go out partying with other friends who were also back in town (by partying, I meant they sat around in the open air and drank beer, talking-cock, singing-song, or they played mahjong or cards) and everyone else would retire to bed, except Ku Cher cos she could never finish cleaning for some reason and she would always be like "OMG it's almost 12am and I cannot clean anymore!!" But you and I, we would wait for the right hour to........ta-da!!! Welcome the God of Prosperity!!! For years, I've been the only one helping you out to prepare for the prayers for this ritual and for yearrrrsss I've been trying to remember what needed to be done and prepped and all. But I never got it right no matter what. I dunno was it because you kept changing the steps and arrangements (because you're forgetful 😝😝😝) or like you always scolded "you never pay attention and you don't put it in your heart!" I guess, every year, I simply relied on you for the instructions. Put here, put there, do this, do that. All your rules. Hahaha!  

On Day 1 of CNY, I would wake up, do whatever exercises that I do and have a shower before I greet anyone. It would always be NEW everything from top to bottom - new toothbrush, new undies, new towel, new top, new shorts, new slippers, new shoes.... ALL NEW. Do you remember how one year, during my rebellious years, I came out of the room in BLACK - like fully black? Hahahahahaha! Now I'm thinking about that and laughing my ass off. I'm sure you wanted to smack me so bad, but you held your tongue. Everyone did. I was that sensitive, teenage drama girl that year. Plus it was CNY so no scolding otherwise bad luck!! LOLOL!!! Anyway, when I started working, I thought this new, new, new thing wasn't very sustainable. That's why, I started keeping new clothes and I don't wear them - even those free triathlon or marathon T-shirts I get, I'd keep them. So I am able to use one every year to have "NEW" clothes for CNY. And that is also why I have a stash of new clothes all the way till 2030!!! Bet you're shaking your head now and saying "sei ting nga yee!" 😂😂😂 Anyway, you know what happened to last year's new clothes that I wore for CNY? Nothing happened to them! We were mostly in lockdown and couldn't go anywhere so my new clothes are still pretty new!! 

Anyway, Day 1 is also when I'm ready to receive my ang pows!!! Do you remember how I would scheme 2-3 extra ang pows off you? Well, I've been thinking about this - I think you just played along and entertained this ting nga yee of yours. Whatever it was, I got 3 ang pows from you every year - well, not every year. Only started when I thought you were starting to be a bit more forgetful than usual. We usually don't have guests on the first day. Just simple prayers at home and then ang pow time and a family brunch over your signature vegetarian dish - the Zai Choy - I had the privilege to learn how to cook this dish from you back in 2014 and still remember how to do it! There had only been 2 things I had direct masterclass with you to cook - Zung Zai and this Zai Choy. I never made a single Zung Zai in my life after our masterclass. I thought it was one helluva long-winded process to make!!! 😅😅😅.  Anyway, back to Day 1, it would pretty much be quite quiet. Back in the day, you guys would be playing mahjong and the kids (me, Ernie and cousins) would just be up to no good somewhere, somehow. Again, as we grew older, the sort of naughty fun just gave way to reading books, which you used to tell me - "haiya! why read book on the first day of CNY!" cos book means "shu" and literally translated means "to lose", and in more recent years, our attention had gone to YouTube and Facebooking instead of chit-chatting with one another. I know you've always found that strange. You'd always say "why is your face always stuck on that phone screen only?"

Anyway, we also usually don't have guests on Day 1. I read that Chinese families don't practise visiting on Day 1 because if the first guests who showed up at your home was not of "prosperous" vibes, it would spillover into the family. LOL!! All these superstitious. It'll be like oven hot in the house as well. Then recent years, we also escaped the heat by going to the malls in the city. Better the 1 hour drive than stewing in our own sweat!! Dinner was pretty much whoever wanted to eat, they just helped themselves to the rice and zai choy. Then once again, it'll be to each, their own time. Days like these were more fun as kids. Eat, sleep, play, on repeat! Best part was - no scolding because CNY period!! 😈😈😈

Then came Day 2 !!!! It was another round of the big preparation for the Hoi Nien feast!! The morning Hoi Nien prayers, before, it would be done by you. You were doing the prayers, you were doing the feast preparations, I dunno how you did it. But you did it. As you became immobile, Mama and I took over the prayers. And once again MasterChef Papa took over the kitchen with his sidekick Sous Chef - Mama. As usual, I would stay out of the way from the kitchen otherwise the first hoi nien would happen to me. I can still remember always being scolded with "Do you want me to hoi nien for you???!!!"  Day 2 was when scolding and smacking was allowed again! 😅😅😅  On Day 2, Ipoh Ku Cher would also come back with her family and that's when all 6 of us cousins would reunite annually. But what I would usually do also would be to arm-twist Yee Suk to get me my favourite Tanjung Tualang prawns. He'd always oblige no matter how difficult, he'd get them for me. Everyone says he's not reliable, but so far, all of my requests had always been met! He's just unpredictable to others, that's all. And then there was the lion dance troupe who somehow could never make it at the timing we wanted. It was just a big waiting game usually on Day 2 - wait for this person, wait for that person, wait for lion dance, wait for my prawns, and everyone would be agitated from the all the waiting - and yet, we do it year in, year out. That's called family, right? After lunch, another massive round of clean up, then it would be a flurry of activities. We'd have the usual family photos taken, then some would play mahjong, the younger kids would play cards, etc. I remembered the CNY of 2018, you and I were playing cards and somehow, I lost every round to you - I lost all the ang pows I schemed from you! Queen of Gamblers - how can I beat you! I even got off my seat and walked around the table three times and you said "No need to do all these silly things. Just lose all your money to me!!" 😆😆😆 We would also start having visitors on Day 2 - most of your side of the family would come, although don't ask me who they were - I would never be able to know which aunty was which aunty! 

Usually, most families would leave on Day 2....... some would leave on Day 3..... thus leaving just me, you and Ku Cher behind mostly. Oh, and Samsuk too cos he's the dude with the car 😁😁😁 The noise and festivities would have died down and I would welcome the peace and quiet of the kampung house and its surrounding. We would have our usual routine - me taking you for brekkie and then it's just quiet days. A few days for me to just write, read, spend time with you. I always annoyed you by sitting outside late at night. You'd always say "Thief will come catch you!" and I would always have some gangsta response to your threat. OMG, I was a real handful wasn't I?? 😇😇😇 Last year, I still stayed on after everyone had left. I did the same thing - exercised (cos how can I not let the neighbours comment on "that crazy girl who runs before sunrise!"), brekkie out in town and back to the house to read and write. Only difference was, last year, I didn't have to take you out for breakfast. 

This year though, I wouldn't get to do any of that. 😭😭😭
That's not all, I'll be missing all of that CNY snacks too - the kuih kapit, kai tan kuen, crabstick chips, lotus root chips, pineapple tarts. I won't even get my liver sausage. Boo....  oh well, I'll treat it as a diet then. But this sucks, Ah Por! 

It's not just me, many are affected too and have to celebrate apart. I had called Yee Suk. He is stranded in Sabah. Mama and Papa are in lockdown - yeah, stay at home jail time as the situation of the crazy virus in Malaysia is really very bad. Same goes for Samsuk, Suk Suk and all. I would try to call everyone just to keep that family ties going despite not being able to celebrate together. I know you would want that. You had been the glue that bound us together when you were present. I was hoping that everyone would remember that even after you're in heaven. But what to do right? This year, it's a global pandemic. I don't even know how to say the word pandemic in Chinese.  

Good thing is my husband is stuck here with me too. I don't think I would cook up a storm. We have dinner with some of our Chinese friends here who are also having to be away from family during this festive celebration. Not big, just the 4 of us - celebrating some sort of "reunion" I guess. I also managed to find some new t-shirts in my collection here - some are from 2016, but still new! Hahaha! And guess what? I even found new towels! I think Mama gave these to me in 2014! Too funny!! I have also prepared ang pows - it's good luck to give out ang pows, I know. So, it's a good thing. I shouldn't miss that! Oh oh oh! Did you know, that silly husband of mine told me - just use those cashless payment as ang pow. These days, we're all very high-tech. We no longer go to banks and we no longer pay with cash! I scolded him like hell. What nonsense! Where is the culture in that?? 🤦🤦🤦

Ah Por, hope you have a blast up there with Por Por, Kung Kung and Ah Kung. As far as I know, they don't play mahjong. So, hoping you've hooked up with some other mahjong kakis there. I know why I miss being with the family - I get to be spoilt rotten every time - I basically don't have to do any cooking, cleaning, well, ok minimal cleaning, and if I asked, I would get - be it Samsuk, Yee Suk or Ku Cher. Not to mention, Mama and Papa also fusses over me. As independent as I am, it still feels great to be doted upon like the big baby of the family. 

Missing you, and the family and the whole festivities. 

Till the next time, Ah Por. Don't you worry. Though it seems the world is continuing to go crazy and there seems to be a lot of stoopid people doing stoopid things around the world, I am well. I will continue to be a good person, eat well, work hard and be happy. But you guys in heaven please keep an eye on us too, ok? Protect us!! 

Your beloved Ting Nga Yee. 

Seriously. A Has Been?

I've still got my fire and fight! 

I'm a get straight to the point. I've always been and still is all about empowering the younger generation and I still believe that the world today belongs to them. I don't think there's two ways about it. 

So it all started when MOH and I had our first date night out in public after a hundred days (because you know, the whole Covid-19 shenanigan). During our conversation that lovely evening, as we were discussing our lives, he labeled the both of us "has beens". 😑😑😑 Say whaaaat?? For a couple of weeks, I let it stew, silently protesting the label he bestowed upon us. And then something happened at work (more on this later so better read on!) and my alarm bells went ding-ding-ding!! 

We were at the final week of the mysterious what-happened-to-2020, reflecting our deeds, purpose and next course of action when I finally approached MOH again and spoke to him about this "has been" label he tagged us with. I said I didn't agree that we were. I brought him back to our journey from "green-headed" fresh graduates to where we are today. "Don't you remember a time where we first started? The jail time we did? The School of Hard Knocks we attended?" I recalled one particular memory during my early agency days - there was an art director, long-haired, torn jeans, a chain smoker (as was most creative people back then), but let not his exterior demeanor fool you - he was a perfectionist. We had a photo shoot that day for a coffee brand (no names mentioned) for a print ad. Uncle C (I called him Uncle to annoy him 😂😂😂), spent over half a day blowing his cigarette smoke into a cup of black coffee, which by then was totally undrinkable, to get that perfect shot for our print ad. A million shots plus another 2 miserable hours later, he was scrutinizing the negatives with his left eye shut tight (to those youngsters who has no idea what the hell are negatives - remember we never had digital cams back then!) to select the best and only the best shot to be used in said print ad. It was through many, many years of going through arduous processes such as this that our generation learnt the value of quality. We knew that quality was our reputation and was what got us earning clients' money respectfully. Careless mistakes were a no-no. (I remember once I had the negative flipped and had a giant banner printed the other way round. OMFG, when the banner went up the building's walls, my pee nearly came out from fright!!) 

Anyway, MOH said he agreed that we knew the value of quality. But the speed in which things moved these days, unfortunately nobody has half a day to spend perfecting a freaking cup of coffee for a photo shoot. "Are you saying speed supersedes quality?" MOH said quality is still important but he brought home one point -  the traditional channels of TV, Print and Radio didn't go through dramatic changes in over 50 years. The Facebook, YouTube and etc gets an update every other freaking week! "Programmatics isn't new and has been around since the dotcom era. It hasn't even matured and something else has come along! Who has the time to perfect the science or the arts?" he said. I concurred. 

But I still refused to be labeled a "has been". MOH continued on and said everything the youngsters do these days were focused on MVPs, execution, execution and more execution because of the speed of things today. I get the whole speed issue. C'mon, when it comes to working fast, many youngsters in Myanmar still has a long way to catch up with me. Ask anyone. I dare ya to say that I work slow! Anyway, I continued arguing with him. "Our  has-been foundation which was built on rock-solid knowledge and process of strategic thinking surely should count for something???" Apparently yes, thank blady God. So we continued our discussion and we did agree on the fact that working for younger leadership teams would do us better. We felt that the youngsters are less afraid of failure because they have all the time in the world to keep failing. Which means, they are more likely to take risks, to jump higher, to go further, and most importantly - to innovate harder. We can learn from them the disruptive trends of today and they can learn from our experiences and strategic foundations. This synergy can create magic. I then recalled a time where a well-known 80-year-old marketer came to do a seminar and I fell asleep 😅😅😅 (just imagine, I aced the marketing subject of his textbook!). I would rather sit for a session listening to an up-and-coming start-up dynamo kid because, what did I say earlier? The world belongs to these kids! 

Throughout our careers, I believe our generation had been fluid and agile, taking in Bruce Lee's advise : "Be like water" and we've adapted and changed and kept ourselves relevant with the trends in marketing. From 4Ps to 5Ps to the dotcom boom, to the social media explosion, to omni channel, to CX-obsessed and the list goes on. How can he say we are "has beens" ??? We had a strong solid foundation and that helped us keep building ourselves on top of it. How can we be has beens??? 

I was obviously relentless in protesting the label. The discussion continued.  

I brought in examples of when we were needed to explain with our dying breath (sense the sarcasm) to C-levels we worked with on why we shouldn't be spamming people on social media (posting as and when you like is not strategic content scheduling!!), why we need to spend time to adhere to brand guidelines, why we need to be more targeted with our digital media buys (because it's NOT THE SAME as media placements on print or TV!!! 🤦🤦🤦) and this list can go on too. And so I said, "If I am a has been, these folks must be relics!!" (and I can't stand those who keep shoving their status in my face and the fact that I need to respect that status) And he nailed home his point further - so imagine, at our age, if you kept working with them for another 5yrs - where would you be? This caught me off-guard. I was speechless. MOH looked at me winningly. "You ever thought about that?"  Truth was, no, I didn't. My gawd, food for thought indeed 🤔🤔🤔

Something happened at work a couple weeks back that set off alarm bells for me. It had to do with this whole fancy term of "agile" that seemed to be on everyone's lips these days. I'm like please, I've been teaching the 'agile vs waterfall process' in my digital class since 2017. It's just another fancy term for Project Management. Anyway, as per usual, I've had to use my dying breath to explain and explain and get my point through. But this time I literally just ... lost my breath. I died. I didn't care. I told the team I was working with - they could throw my PPT file out the window and it was fine by me. And I actually meant it. I had no feeling whatsoever! I didn't wanna lead and I told the team to just let me know what support would be needed. I could see a million things going wrong but my 'dying breath' literally emptied out so I didn't even bother pointing these out. To those who know me will know that my dying breath never runs out. If I knew something was right I would fight and bulldoze through, no matter what the consequences were and no matter who I was facing. I am emotional at work and coupled with my passion, I'm fiery! When I adopted that "tidak apa" attitude (in Malay it means "whatever") the alarm bells went off. Especially so close in timing after being labeled a "has been" 😖😖😖

You see, for me, I think a "has been" is someone who has lost the fire and the fight. I still have passion in the work that I do. I still love every minute of seeing the planning come to live. While I believe very much in empowering the young people, bringing them to the forefront in leadership positions while I take a backseat, I haven't lost my fire nor my fight! I don't want to lose that indeed. Then I'll really be a "has been" !  

MOH as per usual, kept things in perspective for me. He said, "You can choose to use all of that fire and fight to burn a small hole in the field. OR you can choose to use that same fire and fight to set the damn field ablaze." He said he has reflected upon this and admits that he was tired of burning that small hole. 

Which brought to mind something Jack Ma said in an interview before : 

"When you're 40-50 years old, you have to do all the things you are already good at. Don't try to jump into a new area, it's too late. You may be successful but the rate of dying is too high (Me : 😂😂😂 ) So, at 40-50 years old, think about - How can I focus on things that I am good at?"

"When you are 50-60 years old, work to support young people, because young people can do better than you. Rely on them, invest in them. Make sure they're good to go." 

Well Jack, my friend, thank you. Though, I kinda jumped the gun a bit and have already done the making sure the young people are good to go. But I'm pretty sure that's ok. 😁😁😁 

We're both not "has beens" c'mon. We were not people who refused to change our mindsets. We were not people with humongous egos that listening to young people or letting them give directions were beneath us. We were not people who had a chip on our shoulders and clung on to some status or titles. FINALLLLYYYYY..... MOH relented and admitted that he could've used the wrong label, though sounded more like he didn't want me to go on and on about it. I wanted to slap him! 🙄🙄🙄 

So 2021...... I'm a get in with my tanks, machine guns and grenades and I'm a set the damn field ablaze. Who's with me? 😈😈😈

2020..... Who Would've Ever Guessed?

What's in store for 2021? 

It's almost the end of 2020 and I'm sure the feels is for 2020 to be over ASAP. Some may have been impacted badly by the Covid-19 pandemic where as others may have had the opportunity to ride atop the waves of challenges. As for MOH (My Other Half) and I, we're.... ok.

For me, work and fitness training has continued to take up 70% of my time. There are a few new "new normal" projects that I've found myself being involved in and that's keeping me busy - which is a good game plan so that I don't leave an idle mind worrying about Mama & Papa back home too much.

I've also resumed my Digital Strategy classes with Strategy First University via Zoom. Look, as much as I like the concept of physical distancing... I realize one of the hardest thing I've had to do is to teach over Zoom. Somehow the interaction and engagement just isn't the same. And obviously being able to physically slap my students as opposed to threatening to slap them virtually is very different 😑😑😑 MOH calls it my "weekly shouting session" and I'm pretty sure the neighbours are all aware of me by now. I'm trying my best, finding ways to make it worth everyone's while to sit through a class with me. But over the years, I've also realized one thing about the students here in Myanmar. They DO want to learn. However it seems to be more important for them to have the discipline to sit through 22 weeks of lessons than to try harder to understand the concepts of the lessons. By quietly and diligently sitting thru, they create no trouble and at the end of the 22 weeks, they get to include a certificate of completion into their CV. I'm sorry, that doesn't work for my classes. One of the format changes that I've made is to send over pre-reading materials. I know English is not their first language and as such my notes are always void of any big jargon wherever possible. Even when I give them the notes one week ahead, they still come back saying they do not understand the notes. Worse - some simply do a quick glance through the notes. During physical classes, they claimed they are unable to remember the lessons as I do not provide lecture handouts. But when I provide notes, they don't really use them. I think everyone knows this is a very familiar Myanmar situation and I liken it to the authorities' statements pertaining Covid-19 : "Can restaurants open? Yes." In the very next paragraph : "Do restaurants have to remain close? Yes". This is Myanmar. Yes, you say. No, also you say. Literally do and say as u like 😭😭😭 I told the current class though - if English was their excuse, they have basically closed the door to a whole world of learning out there. In any case, I won't stop trying. Though if any teachers out there can give me some pointers, I'd appreciate it alot!!!

I've also started taking on some other consultation and coaching projects for new teams and new brands. I've my calendar lined-up for sure! I'm spending the remainder of my time upgrading my skills. I'm at the point of my career where I want to be even more specialized. I love writing and while I know I'm a very creative and imaginative fiction writer, my business digital writing should level up. As such, I have taken to learning about strategic SEO writing. I've also began to look at Diversity & Inclusion Marketing, although I do think Myanmar just will not have much opportunities for me in these areas. But oh well, learning never go to waste. BTW,  it's amazing how much time you save from sitting thru traffic really. On another note, I had managed to obtain online, my Diploma in Social Psychology and a Diploma in Sports Nutrition within 2020. There is a Conservation Marketing course that I am eyeing, but this is a little intensive so I'm having another thought about it.

As for MOH, some may already know, he's been jobless since October. Yup, he resigned from his company. Initially, I was quite upset about how it all happened. (choi nia wui, ngai mm moi korng arn tor. Mm tet korng. Good luck deciphering that! LOL!) But on hindsight, it was a really good decision. Let's put it this way, he was very ambitious and very much passionate about the financial industry. So I gave him my full support. But in the 6-7 months or so that he was in that organization, I truly felt he was another person. We hardly spoke, he had his face glued to the computer or his phone the whole time. He was doing 12-hour days, even on most weekends. I'm ok with all of that. But then, I had to endure landmines!!! Never know things that might make him snap at me! So much so I've taken to checking with some of my students who worked with him on "What's the colour code for the day??" If it was red or amber it meant that I should be on my best behaviour. Towards the final month was the worse. Even if I sometimes touched his tushie (which I had every right to 😝😝😝) he'd snap!! And because we were WFH, I've been hearing shouting from his ironman office even with the door closed!! In all our 20+ yrs of knowing each other, I've never ever heard him shout. I'm sure those who have worked with him before would know he never shouts! Some days, even way past dinner time, I would hear the really "loud" meetings, and I just felt sorry for him, especially when the meetings were about explaining why social media boosting was necessary. As a marketing person myself, I can totally empathize with that. How many times have I had to explain 1001 reasons on why we should be on social media. 😒😒😒

Anyway, the day after he resigned, literally, even his aura changed colour! Even some people were commenting on my social media and saying he looked so much better these days. What's the secret? Well, the secret is dropping a toxic job I guess. Sometimes, despite the willpower and tenacity, if it just doesn't work, it doesn't work and surely, at this stage of our lives, it isn't worth it to lose yourself trying to turn stones into diamonds.

There are things that people may not understand about us. While we may have extremely different approaches at work - for one, he's the calm and patient guy (the recent shouting bout aside! LOL!) whereas I am the crazy firecracker and secondly, without a doubt, his strategic acumen is very sharp whereas I am much better at communications. (I'd like to say I am waaaayyy better! LOL!) But in terms of other work ethics and attitudes, we are like peas in a pod. We don't believe in politicking. We've gone through our fair share of it early in our careers, gone through the School of Hard Knocks working our asses off and learning the trade deeply. Work politics and power struggles hinder progress and productivity. In the last 8 years, I've had it a little easier as a consultant. I have a choice to stay out of any politicking that goes on in the workplace. I sometimes don't even understand why that needs to exist. MOH though, (the non-emotional one) would just say that everyone has their own style and personality at work. Everyone is different. I'll say! 

Also, at this stage in our careers, we no longer prioritize the status or the titles assigned to us. Director, Consultant, Manager, Executive - these are at the end of the day, just titles. In fact, when I fill in forms these days, I sometimes put my job as "Housewife" (when I was younger, I had a lot of issues with this. But now that I am more sure of myself, ok, so I am a housewife sometimes! Though not a very good one LOL!) What matters for us is to be involved or working on projects that carries positive impact, that makes a difference. I'm not just talking about CSR-type stuff. We want to be part of the waves of change. We want to do work that when we look back 10yrs from now, we would beam proudly and reminisce the struggles and hard work we put in to make that happen. We want to be able to laugh with joy when we regale our stories. Of cos, being paid due remuneration is a plus point. Ever since we moved out of Malaysia over 10 years ago, we've always made a promise that because we are seeking our fortunes in other people's land, we must give back to the local communities, transfer our knowledge and build capacity wherever we can. This is something that we have never failed to do no matter what. The number of people and teams we have coached, mentored, built up and empowered here in Myanmar over the last 8yrs would definitely be a "beam-with-pride" tale we look back upon in our older days.

Well, so then, what's next? MOH, he tells me his retirement came early. To be exact, 3yrs earlier. LOL! We had imagined retiring in 2023 and going off to do voluntary work in godforsaken places and trimming down on our material things a la tiny-house-living. We even drew a floor plan of our tiny house! LOL! The positive thing to look at this is that, unlike the last time where he was jobless, and my company in Cambodia was neck-high in debts, this time around, we're both debt-free. Sometimes, I feel the best productivity comes from people who work not because they need to pay off their loans or debts because they have less hang ups and are hungrier for end-results instead of being worried about losing their jobs. Then of cos, on the other end of the extreme are those who have gone all in and they've got everything to lose and therefore they'd fight to make it count - exactly what I did a million years ago when I started my own business! Anyway, we had a discussion about this situation obviously. I told him, it's not to say we've never been down-and-out before. We've already been there and done that.  We've never led an extravagant lifestyle and we're still pretty much simple and down-to-earth people. (Look at my wardrobe and you'll know! LOL!) I told MOH if we can't afford pistachios, I can switch to peanuts. If can't afford peanuts, I can switch to eggs. If can't afford eggs, I can switch to white bread. Then I told him, but I have an income and so I can eat pistachios. He can eat peanuts! LOLOL! Jokes aside, whilst being jobless during these times isn't ideal, we're grateful that there are no loans or debts that requires payment. Oh, oh, oh and no kids that we need to send to university or college! 🙏🙏🙏We've struggled and worked hard for so long, we're at the next stage of our lives, and for that, I'm really, really thankful. 

So, MOH is also using his available time to do some consultation work, as well as coaching and mentoring. He's also now like a sponge - absorbing and upgrading his skills and knowledge through learning and reading and is often forwarding things for me to upgrade my knowledge too. So then, his status is now "not single, but available" - if anyone's interested! LOLOL! 

One project that I am recently working on, well, not working on but coaching and mentoring, is for the #fitfam girls. We've been reading too many tales of people impacted by Covid-19 and so I recommended that the girls do up a plan to help the garment factory workers impacted by Covid-19 and turning to sex work as a means to survive. We all should always think of pitching our strengths together to help others. I believe in this strongly. And I've been coaching these girls for free all these while - or so they think.... hahahaha... nothings comes for free ya. So, I feel, it is now their turn to give back to the community and their country and their own people. I guess once the project hits the launch, there will be stories to share so stay tuned for this one! Covid-19 has been harsh economically for a lot of people. MOH and I have continued our monthly contribution to those in need by way of supporting local SMEs - such as SoyAi. Even back in our worse time period financially, we never stopped volunteering or sharing what we have. It is a gift to be able to share and to be able to help. Sometimes, I feel sorry too for the local street vendors whose daily income have been impacted but when I want to support them, I am taken aback by the hygiene levels. I'm just thinking if there are any associations or groups that could do an educational programme with them on hygiene or perhaps there are people who've already done so. Hopefully, things can improve for them. There are many individuals and groups doing really good things in Myanmar for the people and it is hopeful to see that humanity lives amongst us. 

Many friends have also set and attained, or halfway through attaining personal goals during these pandemic times. Congratulations for those who have done so. Those who are struggling somehow, keep fighting. And if you need some ass-kicking, reach out to me or MOH or someone you trust. Remember, everyone has their own struggles and it is ok to seek help. 

So, what's in store for 2021? We've both been here long enough for our work and our contribution to the local communities speak for itself. Some of whom I've literally watched transform from ugly ducklings into flying eagles while some are still unsure of their footing. I've had the privilege of sharing my SoyAi journey recently with the Asia Philanthropy Circle and I realized - WOW, that was an amazing journey with such a positive outcome! (a "beam-with-pride" moment although while going through it, I really wanted to hang myself on a daily basis!) We may not know what 2021 holds for us but we are going to stride forward with as much grace, positivity and tenacity as possible (except in February of 2021, cos that's CNY and it looks almost likely that I will not be able to travel home for CNY so I'm gonna be in depression mode - hardly any "grace" to it!!!)  If there's an opportunity that takes us away from Myanmar then so be it. If not, we will continue our work and contribution here to the communities and the people. The one thing that I have learnt during 2020 is that plans can go shit at any moment. Try not to put off things wherever possible and always be adapting and adjusting. Most importantly, always be grateful and thankful for what we have and because we are privileged to have, let's lend our hands to those who do not have. 

To 2020, it's been fiendishly complex. But hello 2021! 

Here We Go Again..... Covid-19 Myanmar

Family Zoom Time - Our Norm Now 

So.... just as we re-adapted back to life supposedly post-Covid and believed that Myanmar was truly blessed to have scraped through almost unscathed then BOOM - it hits you square centre. As we speak right now, still hitting away with the latest figures as of 15.09.2020 8am at 3,299 with 32 deaths. That's a huge jump in just a short 3 weeks from 300+ cases to now 3000+. 

Work-wise, we had even gone back to full time office days and working on business recovery plans. We've gone back to swimming (and getting my tan on finally!!) We've gone back to dining in restaurants and meeting with friends occasionally. And then BOOM! Out of nowhere, we've had to re-adapt again. 

If ever anything were to go down in history for me - 2020 would be the year where I've had to change, adapt, re-adapt and repeat many, many times. To those who know me well, would know that I'm a stickler for routines. I have planned menus worked out for everyday of the week. I have planned attires worked out for everyday of the week. I have very fixed timing and schedules for everything that I do. So, yeah, the one thing I learnt is my ability to adapt amidst the uncertainties. And damn, do I hate uncertainties. 

I was at least pretty smart about it the last time. I did not fully moved back to gym training, choosing to still continue half the week with workouts from home and another half the week at the gym where I can get my pool time. So, having to move back to full home training hasn't been as bad. We've both still got our home offices in order (I have my normal work table as I am used to WFH, Covid or no Covid but MOH gets the ironing board as his office table because well, the "Ironman" surely deserves a kick-ass ironing board to work on! 😂😂😂) 

So, I would say, this time around, it hasn't been that bad re-adjusting. I really just do the adapting as fast as possible to minimize the disruption. Cos in the times of such uncertainties, the more I feel the need to have somethings within my control - like my routine and schedules. Yes, I am strange this way. 

Disruption aside, this time around, the coronavirus seems to be hitting Myanmar a little hard with almost a daily 3-digit case numbers reported. And also this time, we've had cases at work, so it's been a field day for communications! It is all pretty unnerving, yet we know the show must go on. One of the most unnerving for me was prepping the 'in case of death' communications. Because this time around, it is really coming for us 😖😖😖 (The last round, we've actually pretty much breezed through with no reported cases within both our organizations!)

We are both bracing ourselves for more of the mayhem unfolding around us in Myanmar. With the sudden BOOM hitting us from all sides, the authorities seem to have very little control over the situation as well. It seemed to be that different townships having different regulations and SOPs surrounding the so-called "lockdown" and quarantine processes and this even sparked a social media meme of township flags as a mockery of each township being its own country with its own laws. So, we are from the Union of Bahan. There's United States of Ahlone, Yakinia, and so on, so forth. Well, at least there's humour in the mayhem. Some townships have decided to lock people in and out of streets, curbing movements and even delivery. I saw a video where even an ambulance could not gain entry into the "lockdowned" street. What is that all about?? Been also reading and hearing tales of those who've been herded to quarantine centers and no proper admittance procedures and the long waiting hours only to be told that there's no space and they've gotta re-wait all over again at another possible centre. Patients are boarding these ambulances whose driver has no idea where to take them to exactly. Speaking of ambulances, they do make a grand show and tell of it - when they line up like 5 - 8 ambulances in a row when they go to collect a positive or suspected patient - with sirens blaring. The sound of the sirens are in itself unnerving! I'm not sure if any other country does that. Do they?

With the elections coming up, the campaigning has started and this is driving supporters out in droves by the thousands, donning colours of their parties. But it begs me to question - how is that safe in "flattening the curve" ?? (The first time round, there was no curve to be flattened except that of my carb-loaded tummy). Some are not even wearing masks! I urge the political leaders to seriously reconsider this. But then again, who am I to do so. Don't got a voice in Malaysia. Definitely don't got a voice here in Myanmar 😝😝😝 And also - I thought the regulation was no gathering of more than 5 people??? This is exactly what I mean by the advisories are all very vague and contradicting here. Enigmatic surely. But then again - look at Trump 🤦🤦🤦

It is what it is here and the best we could do is stay safe, stay home, and check-in on our friends, families as much as possible. I'm on the edge sometimes. We know the hospitals and the frontline healthcare heroes here are all overwhelmed working in a largely under-supported environment. As the death toll rises, these heroes have been scrambling to help patients. Sometimes, I don't even want to know about these news cos it really sets me on the edge. A student of mine felt dizzy and I was like "OMG, that's a Covid-19 symptom!!" and I nagged her to take action on it. And when I cough, I be like "WTF - do I have Covid-19???? Can I still smell MOH's farts?? Ok can. I'm ok! I'm ok!" Alright, so I'm not on the edge just sometimes. All the time. LOL! And I darn it dislike going to do my grocery shopping and some idiot decides not to social distance. When social distancing was introduced first time around, seemed I was a little "over-sensitive" for demanding my space when Myanmar was like "blessed to be Covid-free". But this time around - I would glare at the person like they're some kind of unwanted fungus and if they don't get my glare, I will raise my voice. So those who see me at the grocery aisles - JUST AVOID ME. People spitting on the roads have gotten their fair share of shouting from me too. The next move I would make is that I will whip out my phone and video people who spit (or at least pretend to be video-ing them) Anddddddd this is why I take up MMA training. Just in case they retaliate 😁😁😁  

The only that that really suck is another long-drawn out wait to go home to see my family. Before, it was like - Yay! We're on the road to recovery. Give it 6 more months and we can go home! Ad now, BOOM. F**k. Was having this discussion with a friend the other day - the longer the uncertainty and the longer this draws out, the greater the pull to just drop everything and go home. A Malaysian colleague of mine recently lost his father and I cannot imagine the turmoil! Not being able to fly home on the first flight out to be with family during the times of loss! It gave me anxiety attacks for several nights after I heard the news. My Mama and Papa are like "Nothing doing! No coming back for 2 years! We're absolutely fine and taking really good care of ourselves! Why worry???!" My Papa - he even pranks me and annoys me over WhatsApp all the time, tryna give me heart attacks. What do I do with these 2 old folks? #SMH

I believe human beings are very resilient creatures. And one day, we will definitely celebrate over champagne physically and speak about this historical moment where we were all apart together. I would like to try to keep a positive frame of mind and find the humour in all of these - just as my parents have. I would like to count my blessings that my lockdown includes a bed, a roof, proper working tables and a well-stocked pantry (of a very rigidly planned daily menu LOLOL!!). There are those who are worse off than us and as I have always said before - if we can - help one another out, support each other and be kind to one another. My Mobile Soup Movement is still on-going and every month, plenty of volunteers are taking up these care packages and helping to deploy these to the vulnerable communities. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the distribution. 

And lastly - whilst I've introduced alcohol every Friday nights, I'm still gonna live my life fit and eat healthy. If I'm gonna go out when the world ends, I wanna make sure I go out looking good 😂😂😂 

 

Our 11th Year... Amidst A Global Pandemic

2008 vs 2020

 And the year just flew by as usual. I was actually trying to recall if I actually wrote a blog every year for our wedding anniversary and I even managed to convince myself that I didn’t. I wrote one for my work anniversary. Then I checked my cobweb-filled blog (to be honest, 2020 hasn’t been such a cobwebby year for my blog!) and found that I actually DO write an anniversary post every year! So here it is then. 

The time did fly by for us as a couple too and from our 10^th year to the 11^th year… what changed? Nothing much really. We’ve both got new roles / jobs for work. And oh, have I not already mentioned we’re in the middle of a historical pandemic? We’ve been cut-off from seeing our families but the consolation and blessing here is that we have each other to rely on. 

As the world is going crazy around us, so too has the workload and we have come to an even deeper understanding that our time off from the world is pretty sacred. The weekends are like our “cave time”. We try our utmost best to understand each other and live with each other. I guess the one thing that is most important for us is we want peace and peace of mind. Our “cave” is to be filled only with laughter. Oh, yes, and love. Lots of love. On days where it is annoyingly boring, we annoy each other. We've just grown to annoy each other as much as possible. Me more than him 😈 😈 😈 

There is this uniquely synchronized understanding that we have, I believe. We seldom talk to “iron” things out cos there doesn’t seem to be anything to iron out (except his own clothes LMAO!!) It’s like a very seamless and effortless understanding, an almost automatic characteristic to our relationship. Are we THAT boring? LOL. 

I have been grieving for the longest time and still is, for my beloved Ah Por. My husband, a man of few words, (because he doesn’t know the right words to say and would prefer not to say it for fear of repercussions LOL), just understands me, and my “strange behaviours” and he gives me my space and takes care of me in his own ways. It may not be about tenderness or sweetness, but it’s just his way of taking care of me. I wrote about this just last week - there was one time, he accidentally triggered open the floodgates while we were right in the middle of grocery shopping. He said my poor Stinky is torn and if it doesn’t get fixed, would need to be thrown out soon. I think that’s when he realized Stinky was an absolutely sensitive subject and not to be made fun of because Ah Por made Stinky for me! The very next day, he sewed Stinky up for me and even wrapped him with additional layers to keep him protected. That’s what I meant by it’s not about the sweet-nothings. It’s doing things that matters. 

I’ve been packing a TLC lunch pack for him to take to work every day too ever since the pandemic started. I get up earlier than usual to get this prepped up and ready to go. I wonder if I will finally get my “Wife Of The Year” Award soon. 😏 😏 😏 Well, the honest truth is, I don’t mind doing it. I don’t exactly enjoy it (you know me, #HousewifeFail ) but I don’t mind it. And he doesn’t say it – but I know he appreciates it. Anyway, if he complains, I’d stuff it all up his ass 🤣 🤣 🤣 In general, I guess, we always choose a path where we aren’t fighting with each other. At times like these, why fight with each other? We should be uniting so that we can combat it all. I guess that it also why we have an automatic understanding - it makes no sense to fight each other. It makes more sense to stand united to fight the battles that we each go through daily, be it at work or personally. 

A friend of mine recently sent us a photo of us doing the Shape Run back in 2008. This was before we even got married. I guess fit then, fit now 😊😊😊I’m putting the pix with us side-by side to look at our difference after 12 years. I’d like to think we look as young as we were before. But our mentalities and especially our bodies sometimes sure as hell don’t feel it. The term “grow old with you” comes to my mind. In terms of mentality, I guess, there is a certain maturity to where we are right now as well. Like I said - we don't sweat the small stuff. We don't nag, we don't complain endlessly. 

I really do think we are a pretty boring couple. Honestly. We do our fit training, we work, we clean the house, we spend quiet time in our cave and that’s about it. On weekends, we do the usual grocery shopping and food stops and then we climb back into our cave. At home, we have our sanctuary time, we don’t even need to talk to each other. We have a once-a-week unload session on Friday date nights where we just bitch about stuff. Other than that, we just do our thing. I cook, he washes. I sweep, he mops. I spank his tushie, he tries to remove my pants. LOLOL! No need to talk. LOL!! The DBW told me in my recent lunch with her : “You and Richard are really a perfect match!” I guess, in a way, I’m glad we are. Can you imagine I want to stay home and he wants to party all the time? It’ll be a nightmare! LOLOL!!! 

These are up on my FB and IG already but I’d like to post these on my blog too, to commemorate our 11^th year together. A long time agency friend of mine kindly drew these out for me as a gift. Well, I owe Lam Chop a longyi. I have been an avid follower of his comics and very thankful that he had agreed to help do this. (His other comics can be found here!!) 



 
 
   
   
  

So, I asked for these comics done for this year's anniversary cos they hilariously sum up, well, at least on my part, how I see our relationship, from my eyes and my point-of-view. Maybe MOH could share his POV soon? Since we do have a 3^rd September (Civil Registration), 5^th September (Kampung Wedding) and 12^th September (KL Wedding) more to celebrate 😊😊😊 Every year, we have the same conversation - where are all my presents? Should be 5 in total, including my birthday and he would say it's all-in-one-present. And that present is him. Then he gets a slap and I would threaten to lock him out of the house. Every year. Told you we are super boring people. LOL! 

To my best friend, my soulmate, my training partner, my partner-in-farts...... cheers to 11 years of marriage (and 12 years legal!!!) and I'm just blessed and thankful that we have #MeAndYouJustUsTwo
😍😍😍