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| A news coverage of my birth in The Malay Mail Can I become a true 'anak Malaysia'? |
Congratulations Malaysia Baru! The past week was exciting indeed and in general, hope permeates the very air that we breathe.
Before I continue on, I'd like to say that I didn't return home to vote. But to those of you who made sweeping statements about those who didn't vote and therefore should not share the triumph and jubilation of the rest of the nation, well, all I can say is - here's my finger (and not the one with the indelible ink). Sure, you're entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to my rights. Don't pretend to judge me when you don't know me.
Done. We move on.
Hope is an essential ingredient for everyone to to keep facing challenges that life throws at us. Hope is what keeps us motivated to fight on, to believe. And the historical win of Pakatan Harapan (meaning the Coalition of Hope) last week renewed the hope for Malaysians. The epic "against all odds" win gave way to a new Malaysian 'high'. Suddenly, the skies were bluer, the air fresher and everything that was impossible was suddenly possible. I myself was using the "Malaysian Win" as a way of motivating my teams here in Myanmar when we were faced with impossible or daunting tasks. Not once. 4 times in the past week. "Hey - if Malaysia can change the government, then anything is possible!" 😀😀😀
I woke up on 100518 to a new Malaysia (despite being banned from sleeping by my BFFs in a group chat just in case I jinxed the results LOLOL!!). The first order of the day was to inform my late grandma and both my grandpas. Ah Kung, Kung Kung, Por Por - can you believe it? The opposition won. Kita menang! I do wish you guys were here to witness this historical moment. My late Kung Kung who was a journalist with Sin Chew Jit Poh would've loved being right there in the heart of this historical news story - perhaps, learning how to do a LIVE video 😜😜😜 My Por Por would've been ecstatic too. She was 5 months pregnant when May 13 happened and being rescued by Chinese triad gangsters to hideout in the jungle was an ordeal she would never forget.
I come from a very strong "opposition" family, both maternal and paternal. From the youngest to the oldest. Needless to say, being pro-government overnight was very strange indeed. I did a little small interview asking how some of my family felt about this euphoric win.
My Papa - the biggest, most gung-ho opposition supporter ever, at 73, had this to say : "Right from the first time I voted, till GE14, I had always voted for the opposition. After GE14, the next day, had to wait till late into the night before there was a confirmation for a change of government. And this morning, I woke up for the 1st time feeling Hey, I am no longer anti-government! I am pro-government!". He waited a long time for this. A close friend of his actually said - he wasn't just happy. He was ecstatic! For the first time ever, he was sharing national patriotic anthems on FB!!
My Mama, was never all that vocal about politics, but the last 15 yrs of deteriorating state under the tyranny of that frog face, had got her extremely annoyed with the government. She had this to say when I asked her how she felt about the win : "Felt happy and relieved. I am an admirer of Tun M from those days. Yes, he may be corrupted too, but he brought changes for the good of Malaysia. At 92yrs of age, he should retire and enjoy life, but he did all he can to get things right for the country. His strategies were all well planned to lead to the downfall of BN and the corrupted leaders."
My Ah Yee was even funnier. She said "Of course I am happy! I was so happy when they announced that I couldn't sleep the whole night!" She was also so happy that she forgot to send a message to my late Por Por and Kung Kung 🙏🙏🙏
My bro, a man of few words and definitely not even the wee bit interested in politics but went out this time for the ceramahs, said "Of course happy lah! Don't tell me sad meh?" 😏😏😏
MOH, also a man of few words, went home to cast his vote. And when I asked him how he felt about the win, he said "Now there is hope."
As for me, a Myanmar friend did ask me, "Are you happy about the win?" My answer was, of course I am. I am very happy. But my happiness fell short of jubilation. It all felt quite strange as well. Strange because it was Dr. M, whom I grew up detesting. The one who helped implement the race-based policies put in place by the then 3rd PM of Malaysia - Tun Hussein Onn. It was for these race-based policies that I felt I was robbed of my government scholarship despite being a straight-A student.
61 years of race-based divisions, of being made to feel like an immigrant residing in other people's land had taken its toll. Let me put it this way, many of us were affected and we were affected at different levels. To each, their own, yeah.
I am a Merdeka Baby. Being government school teachers, my parents towed the line in imparting patriotism in us growing up. We used to fly the Jalur Gemilang at our house for the whole week of Merdeka, and I pretended the whole nation was celebrating Merdeka with me for it was my birthday 😝😝😝 I even used to fly one on my car - you know that small flag you can attach to your car. But time and time again, these race-based agendas were thrown my way. That overtime, we all stopped flying that flag. I removed that flag from my car too. I never felt like an "anak Malaysia". Come Merdeka Day - it was simply MY BIRTHDAY. Period. And in the last 15 years, things just escalated from bad to worse. I cannot for the life of me get this statement out of my head : "We will bathe this dagger in the blood of the Chinese!!" Anyone care to remember this? (to be fair, there has been a lot of "true, not true" debate over this statement) and again, in 2007, as reported by Reuters, : 'One delegate was reportedly to have said by the Singapore Straits Times "UMNO is willing to risk lives and bathe in blood to defend the race and religion. Don't play with fire. If they mess with our rights, we will mess with theirs." I did not know what I did to deserve supposed leaders saying brainless things like that or playing up the racial cards over and over again. What rights are they talking about? Am I not a citizen of Malaysia? Was I not born on this land? Why am I not considered an 'anak Malaysia'?? Whilst part of my brains knew it was a brainless act by some scumbags, another part of me reacted emotionally towards those type of statements. "Apa lagi Cina mau?" (What more do the Chinese want?) Nothing very much, really. Just to earn my honest 3 meals a day, based on my capabilities, abilities and fairness. That's all.
Before I continue on, I'd like to say that I didn't return home to vote. But to those of you who made sweeping statements about those who didn't vote and therefore should not share the triumph and jubilation of the rest of the nation, well, all I can say is - here's my finger (and not the one with the indelible ink). Sure, you're entitled to your opinion and I am entitled to my rights. Don't pretend to judge me when you don't know me.
Done. We move on.
Hope is an essential ingredient for everyone to to keep facing challenges that life throws at us. Hope is what keeps us motivated to fight on, to believe. And the historical win of Pakatan Harapan (meaning the Coalition of Hope) last week renewed the hope for Malaysians. The epic "against all odds" win gave way to a new Malaysian 'high'. Suddenly, the skies were bluer, the air fresher and everything that was impossible was suddenly possible. I myself was using the "Malaysian Win" as a way of motivating my teams here in Myanmar when we were faced with impossible or daunting tasks. Not once. 4 times in the past week. "Hey - if Malaysia can change the government, then anything is possible!" 😀😀😀
I woke up on 100518 to a new Malaysia (despite being banned from sleeping by my BFFs in a group chat just in case I jinxed the results LOLOL!!). The first order of the day was to inform my late grandma and both my grandpas. Ah Kung, Kung Kung, Por Por - can you believe it? The opposition won. Kita menang! I do wish you guys were here to witness this historical moment. My late Kung Kung who was a journalist with Sin Chew Jit Poh would've loved being right there in the heart of this historical news story - perhaps, learning how to do a LIVE video 😜😜😜 My Por Por would've been ecstatic too. She was 5 months pregnant when May 13 happened and being rescued by Chinese triad gangsters to hideout in the jungle was an ordeal she would never forget.
I come from a very strong "opposition" family, both maternal and paternal. From the youngest to the oldest. Needless to say, being pro-government overnight was very strange indeed. I did a little small interview asking how some of my family felt about this euphoric win.
My Papa - the biggest, most gung-ho opposition supporter ever, at 73, had this to say : "Right from the first time I voted, till GE14, I had always voted for the opposition. After GE14, the next day, had to wait till late into the night before there was a confirmation for a change of government. And this morning, I woke up for the 1st time feeling Hey, I am no longer anti-government! I am pro-government!". He waited a long time for this. A close friend of his actually said - he wasn't just happy. He was ecstatic! For the first time ever, he was sharing national patriotic anthems on FB!!
My Mama, was never all that vocal about politics, but the last 15 yrs of deteriorating state under the tyranny of that frog face, had got her extremely annoyed with the government. She had this to say when I asked her how she felt about the win : "Felt happy and relieved. I am an admirer of Tun M from those days. Yes, he may be corrupted too, but he brought changes for the good of Malaysia. At 92yrs of age, he should retire and enjoy life, but he did all he can to get things right for the country. His strategies were all well planned to lead to the downfall of BN and the corrupted leaders."
My Ah Yee was even funnier. She said "Of course I am happy! I was so happy when they announced that I couldn't sleep the whole night!" She was also so happy that she forgot to send a message to my late Por Por and Kung Kung 🙏🙏🙏
My bro, a man of few words and definitely not even the wee bit interested in politics but went out this time for the ceramahs, said "Of course happy lah! Don't tell me sad meh?" 😏😏😏
MOH, also a man of few words, went home to cast his vote. And when I asked him how he felt about the win, he said "Now there is hope."
As for me, a Myanmar friend did ask me, "Are you happy about the win?" My answer was, of course I am. I am very happy. But my happiness fell short of jubilation. It all felt quite strange as well. Strange because it was Dr. M, whom I grew up detesting. The one who helped implement the race-based policies put in place by the then 3rd PM of Malaysia - Tun Hussein Onn. It was for these race-based policies that I felt I was robbed of my government scholarship despite being a straight-A student.
61 years of race-based divisions, of being made to feel like an immigrant residing in other people's land had taken its toll. Let me put it this way, many of us were affected and we were affected at different levels. To each, their own, yeah.
I am a Merdeka Baby. Being government school teachers, my parents towed the line in imparting patriotism in us growing up. We used to fly the Jalur Gemilang at our house for the whole week of Merdeka, and I pretended the whole nation was celebrating Merdeka with me for it was my birthday 😝😝😝 I even used to fly one on my car - you know that small flag you can attach to your car. But time and time again, these race-based agendas were thrown my way. That overtime, we all stopped flying that flag. I removed that flag from my car too. I never felt like an "anak Malaysia". Come Merdeka Day - it was simply MY BIRTHDAY. Period. And in the last 15 years, things just escalated from bad to worse. I cannot for the life of me get this statement out of my head : "We will bathe this dagger in the blood of the Chinese!!" Anyone care to remember this? (to be fair, there has been a lot of "true, not true" debate over this statement) and again, in 2007, as reported by Reuters, : 'One delegate was reportedly to have said by the Singapore Straits Times "UMNO is willing to risk lives and bathe in blood to defend the race and religion. Don't play with fire. If they mess with our rights, we will mess with theirs." I did not know what I did to deserve supposed leaders saying brainless things like that or playing up the racial cards over and over again. What rights are they talking about? Am I not a citizen of Malaysia? Was I not born on this land? Why am I not considered an 'anak Malaysia'?? Whilst part of my brains knew it was a brainless act by some scumbags, another part of me reacted emotionally towards those type of statements. "Apa lagi Cina mau?" (What more do the Chinese want?) Nothing very much, really. Just to earn my honest 3 meals a day, based on my capabilities, abilities and fairness. That's all.
I packed my bags and expanded my business to Cambodia and now reside in Myanmar. It's 10 years now since I left Malaysia. I've had enough of being reminded over and over again that I have no rights in my own birth land.
Even business-wise, the many government projects that bypassed us because we were just a small Chinese business. The ultimate embarrassment I recall would be 2010 - when the Chinese government, in cooperation with Japan, invited our wedding association to attend a convention in China to promote Malaysia as a destination for weddings. Our association had worked on building international networks for years prior. Zero support from our tourism ministry despite our numerous calls, pleas and proposals. But not to let slip this chance, us two girls, the President and the Vice-President forked out the money ourselves and flew over. To our horror - every other Asian country sent big teams. Even Myanmar at that time had a contingent of 26 people! And the best part was, each country had to put up a performance to showcase their culture. Guess what? There we were, 2 idiots representing Malaysia armed only with a video CD and we did the bloody fashion catwalk by ourselves on stage!! My President was in a Kebaya and I was in a modern Cheongsam. Oh, I remember very well indeed. Even the emcee in his introduction of us said "We have two very brave ladies from Malaysia who will be performing on their own....." For pride, we did the job and even earned praises from the other contingent. We did not let Malaysia down. But despite us joking about this experience, I was bitterly disappointed. And after that, I refused to partake in any other projects that has anything to do with the government. It was a personal thing. My business partners still carried on where necessary.
Yeah, you can call me bitter or whatever. Like I said, everyone is affected in different ways and at different levels.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company and friends of muhibbah Malaysia and in fact, here's something quite cute - the row of house that I grew up in was really muhibbah indeed. On our left a Malay neighbour and our right an Indian family. In fact, when I was a kid, I used to go over to my neighbour's house and we would play masak-masak. I never hated the people. I only hated the government. I would often lament to my Malay friends about this predicament and the ills of race-based agendas and policies. You can imagine the irony of my Papa or MOH suddenly being so enthusiastic about patriotic anthems whereas I was the one who knew every single line, verse and chorus to songs like 'Setia' and 'Sejahtera Malaysia'. In fact, MOH was caught off guard when I proved to him that I knew the lyrics by heart - despite all those years.
With these years and years of raced-based policies and agendas ingrained in me, I knew I myself needed to heal. When Dr. M revealed his cabinet and I saw LGE as the Finance Minister - the first thought that went into my head was : "Oh! A Chinese minister!" before I caught myself. I knew this mentality and this thinking had to go. And bless LGE for speaking up and declaring that he wasn't Chinese. He is Malaysian. We need leaders to walk the talk, and help guide us through the healing process. Just as much as race-based policies have brainwashed the likes of me to think race-first, we can well be brainwashed to think Malaysian-first. Perhaps, an essential move would be to get rid of race-based parties. Parties should represent Malaysians. Not races.
Strange as it was, for the first time, I watched LIVE the swearing-in of Dr. M for it was definitely a moment in history. There was a small tingling within. That tingling was a sense of hope. I am not so bold as to speak for everyone, but I am sure we will all be healing at different stages. For now, with the couple of promises that Pakatan Harapan had delivered in just one week (Zero GST and Anwar's full pardon), I prefer to focus on hope. The hope for a better Malaysia. The hope for a great Malaysia. The hope for a united and stronger Malaysia. The hope for an assimilated Malaysia. And for me - the hope to feel "demi negara, yang tercinta, dicurahkan bakti penuh setia...." as an anak Malaysia should feel. MOH said this to me, "Everyone that is working together with Dr. M now had once been sent to jail by him before. If they can let all of that go and look towards the greater good, then ...." Yes, I get his point. Like I said, we had all been affected at different levels. But there's really something to be said about people who are really able to forgive and forget for the greater good. My total respect to these leaders. (note to self : no conspiracy theories, Eileen. Just believe. Just hope)
But for now, while we all go through the uphill healing process (at least for me), the biggest joy I am deriving from this monumental win is the fact that I am now able to take as many jibes as I can on that frog face and ugly hippo. As Zan Azlee very aptly put it in his article - "It's hard to be gracious towards BN. It has been too long and we have been through too much." I am now having so much joy when I actually call the frog face, FROG FACE. Sorry, not sorry. When I curse at him, I'm so pleased. Previously, when I took jibes, it only angered me further because every swear word you hurled at his pix, you only see that arrogant smirk smiling back. This time, I have so much joy in poking fun at them simply because this time, this time, it is so satisfying to know that they are done for. No more embarrassing PM for us. I may not have liked Dr. M but I never hated him. This frog and the hippo, I literally hated! I cannot forgive the racial slurs he dished out during his arrogant tenure and of course, the numbers of kills and murders that had been committed....so please #TangkapFrog!!!
As for Dr. M - he is the new leader of the new Malaysia. Much as I despised him before, I have to respect his calculated move. Well, after all, it takes a mentor to destroy his protege, eh? I'm waiting for the 'crouching tiger, hidden dragon moves'. I know miracles cannot happen overnight and through what little I know of him in the days where I deplored him, he loves the country. He is a man of great pride and he keeps his house clean, as in don't embarrass him in public yeah (anyone recalls the time when Paul Keating, then OZ's PM called Mahathir a "recalcitrant"? LOL! On a more scary note - remember those times when one had to whisper when talking bad about the government? That's cleaning house too 😝😝😝). And I know enough, and perhaps at this stage, matured enough to know that miracles cannot take place overnight. 100-days may not be enough time to cover a gaping hole bigger than Singapore. I am sure all Malaysians understand and will be willing to give time for this full healing of the nation to take place.
Meanwhile - do enjoy this extremely funny comic of Malaysian politics by Bro, Don't Like That La Bro. (Thanks guys for responding so promptly to my ask!) When I came across this comic, I knew this would be exactly how my dear 90-yr old Ah Por felt. She doesn't really understand the dramas and furors that went down for GE14. I told her the opposition finally won. I told her there was a new government. But she was confused as to "Eh - how come it is still Mahathir?" 😆😆😆 I am so happy she lived to see this day.
Strange as it was, for the first time, I watched LIVE the swearing-in of Dr. M for it was definitely a moment in history. There was a small tingling within. That tingling was a sense of hope. I am not so bold as to speak for everyone, but I am sure we will all be healing at different stages. For now, with the couple of promises that Pakatan Harapan had delivered in just one week (Zero GST and Anwar's full pardon), I prefer to focus on hope. The hope for a better Malaysia. The hope for a great Malaysia. The hope for a united and stronger Malaysia. The hope for an assimilated Malaysia. And for me - the hope to feel "demi negara, yang tercinta, dicurahkan bakti penuh setia...." as an anak Malaysia should feel. MOH said this to me, "Everyone that is working together with Dr. M now had once been sent to jail by him before. If they can let all of that go and look towards the greater good, then ...." Yes, I get his point. Like I said, we had all been affected at different levels. But there's really something to be said about people who are really able to forgive and forget for the greater good. My total respect to these leaders. (note to self : no conspiracy theories, Eileen. Just believe. Just hope)
But for now, while we all go through the uphill healing process (at least for me), the biggest joy I am deriving from this monumental win is the fact that I am now able to take as many jibes as I can on that frog face and ugly hippo. As Zan Azlee very aptly put it in his article - "It's hard to be gracious towards BN. It has been too long and we have been through too much." I am now having so much joy when I actually call the frog face, FROG FACE. Sorry, not sorry. When I curse at him, I'm so pleased. Previously, when I took jibes, it only angered me further because every swear word you hurled at his pix, you only see that arrogant smirk smiling back. This time, I have so much joy in poking fun at them simply because this time, this time, it is so satisfying to know that they are done for. No more embarrassing PM for us. I may not have liked Dr. M but I never hated him. This frog and the hippo, I literally hated! I cannot forgive the racial slurs he dished out during his arrogant tenure and of course, the numbers of kills and murders that had been committed....so please #TangkapFrog!!!
As for Dr. M - he is the new leader of the new Malaysia. Much as I despised him before, I have to respect his calculated move. Well, after all, it takes a mentor to destroy his protege, eh? I'm waiting for the 'crouching tiger, hidden dragon moves'. I know miracles cannot happen overnight and through what little I know of him in the days where I deplored him, he loves the country. He is a man of great pride and he keeps his house clean, as in don't embarrass him in public yeah (anyone recalls the time when Paul Keating, then OZ's PM called Mahathir a "recalcitrant"? LOL! On a more scary note - remember those times when one had to whisper when talking bad about the government? That's cleaning house too 😝😝😝). And I know enough, and perhaps at this stage, matured enough to know that miracles cannot take place overnight. 100-days may not be enough time to cover a gaping hole bigger than Singapore. I am sure all Malaysians understand and will be willing to give time for this full healing of the nation to take place.
Meanwhile - do enjoy this extremely funny comic of Malaysian politics by Bro, Don't Like That La Bro. (Thanks guys for responding so promptly to my ask!) When I came across this comic, I knew this would be exactly how my dear 90-yr old Ah Por felt. She doesn't really understand the dramas and furors that went down for GE14. I told her the opposition finally won. I told her there was a new government. But she was confused as to "Eh - how come it is still Mahathir?" 😆😆😆 I am so happy she lived to see this day.
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| A really funny depiction of our historical win. Image Credit : Bro, Don't Like That La Bro |
