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Wow. Time really flew by this year. I seem to find myself repeating that every single year I do my year-end blogpost.
Ok. I’ve survived 3 sweltering hot seasons, 3 mold seasons and this is the third cold season for me in Da Golden Land. Last year, the cold temperatures dipped to 12 degrees. Unfortunately, this year, the cold hovered at 17 – 18 degrees for TWO DAYS! And now it is back to hot, hot, hot. Aiya.
The year had gone by really fast simply because I’ve been kept really busy. As we all know, I started a Youth Centre for the Children of Tomorrow and also kicked-started the self-sustainability project – SoyAi for the Children of Tomorrow. Work had kept me challenged, frustrated but yet still enjoyable at the same time. To top that off, I’ve been traveling home a lot more in 2014 to spend time with my beloved Ah Por (who is so famous on Facebook – if only she knew that!).... and I can't wait to see her again during CNY!
On the work front, I’m pretty pleased about ending the year with a big bang….. well, 3 major “firsts” were approved and executed within the final month of 2014 – namely a Weekend Bazaar featuring various self-sustainability projects in Myanmar (yes, yes, SoyAi included – how could it not??), I also convinced DBW to let the team do a surprise for shoppers and boy were the shoppers caught off guard when the cashiers at our flagship store sang the beatbox version of Jingle Bells on Christmas Eve and finally, finally – the biggest event ever in the history of the company – we held the Active Family Day Out which featured a 5km Fun Walk and a full day of activities to promote healthy living amongst the people of Myanmar. For those who have not worked in Myanmar before, you may not have a clue as to how challenging or frustrating it is to get such “firsts” implemented, because it includes changing mindset, behaviours, fear, etc. etc….. Nevertheless, I’m very happy we managed to get all those dream proposals done! Aside from the usual marketing role (and I’ve finished doing my proposals until 2016….. so…..), I’m also taking on some new projects related to HR, trying to put in place an OCB/IMC plan as well as the big black hole of e-Commerce. All new stuff for me and as daunting as it looks, I’m actually quite excited and happy to have the opportunity to learn new stuff. So right, I do look forward to seeing all these new plans executed for 2015. I’m only bracing myself for the frustrations and challenges ahead. Therefore, I pray for tenacity and wisdom in facing these challenges.
As for my “full-time” job with the kids – in itself, an entirely steep learning curve (like serious f***ing 90 degrees steep)…… after staying strong and positively pushing forth for a whole year with the self-sustainability project and the Youth Centre, I’m now conceding defeat in one battle. I’ve climbed the bloody mountain pulling everyone along for so long and so far that I am now honestly D-E-A-D-T-I-R-E-D mentally and physically. Before I do more self-damage and face a total burn-out, I screamed for help. And am I not that bloody lucky gal who gets so much love and support because help came. Some are still on the way, some aren't so suitable but one thing’s for sure – help is here. What were some of the problems I had to face? To name a key few – caretakers who just wanted to create trouble one way or another, caretakers who saw the self-sustainability project as a mean of milking money for themselves, con artists who didn’t bat an eye on over-charging (read cheating) poor kids who didn’t have a better clue nor experience (stupid me included) and most of all, kids who were giving up left, right and centre because I was pushing them to start climbing on their own – I cannot keep pulling them up the mountain forever. I’m mentally drained because everyday, I spend hours-long trying to guide them in doing business and at the same time, motivating and encouraging them, believing in them and telling them they’re worth something. I’ve let the ropes go on 3 kids so far. Without a doubt, there’s obviously the conflict within myself – you know, that stupid demon questioning “Have you done enough? Are you sure it was right to let him go?” On another hand, MOH had been kind with his words – if these kids do not appreciate the opportunity given to them, shouldn’t my time and resources be better spent on kids who would be willing to kill for these opportunities? I’m still questioning myself and the decisions I made on these kids who gave up. I mean, at the very least, I want to understand why. I’ve actually literally tried every way possible with them. I’m just wondering if there’s something I missed. So, I need to take a step back from this whole thing for moment. Take it easy for a while and at least learn to see that their failure is not mine alone to bear. MOH, sensing I might be going a little crazy and near breakdown point, introduced me to another guy who is doing something for his own country too – the myME mobile education founder who is Burmese but had spent 25 years living in New York. He's really so inspiring with the work that he does with the underprivileged kids as well and shared horror stories about some of the conditions these kids live through (think locked-in-cage, modern day slavery stories) – and best of all, he told me the first year he came back and started the project, he wanted to shoot himself. Mindset and emotionally-scarred kids are tough to deal with. So, it’s not just me! I’m not alone! A few local friends have also stepped up when I screamed for help and are now extending their arms, time and all that to get us all through this period while I…. recover. And it is very inspiring to see that there are many people doing lots of good things here in this country.
I always told my friends (for whom without their generous support, this road would be a lot tougher if it existed at all) – next time I say I wanna save the world, knock me on my head. Don’t egg me on!! Shite. Look at what I got myself into! Honestly, there are days, very many days, I question – WTF am I doing this???? I could be out gallivanting the globe! But what Mr MyME said hit the jackpot – once you see it with your own eyes, you will not be able to let it go. That’s what’s happened to me. I cannot turn away and say – oh, I’ve done enough. Full stop. Pat on the back. There’s never enough I think. Because there’s always someone who needs a bit of your kindness.
The battle may be lost, but I have no intention to lose the war. I pray for continued courage, wisdom and tenacity in my fight.
On a more positive note – there’s a new adventure awaiting me in 2015 – a whole new venture on yet another totally unfamiliar ground. (I see a pattern now.…. I’m always venturing into unfamiliar territories. One day, if the chilli doesn’t kill me, these “blind venturing” would!!). But as my friend and new partner puts it – “How about this? We just close our eyes and jump?”
I’m jumping :)
So, I pray for unwavering faith.
For 2015 – here’s how it’s gonna work for me – I’m gonna continue venturing into unchartered territories, I’m gonna continue discovering new adventures, new things, new places, I’m gonna continue learning and falling and getting up again, dusting myself off (I’ve even done this literally in 2014!!) and I’m going to channel every positive thought to keep me smiling through the year.
I also pray for my family, my friends and all the children to always be safe, sound and healthy and may they always laugh in joy and journey 2015 happily.
As we close the year and before I end my post, I’d like to take some time to say a prayer for those affected by the tragedies of 2014. May you all be blessed with strength, peace and unwavering faith. My prayers are with you too.
Happy 2015!
